Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
C lara
I balanced myself carefully on a ladder while raising up some silk curtains to measure. I wanted to tack them in as soon as possible. It would be much less to do later.
I turned carefully. “Hey, Jen?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you pass that box of tacks?”
She glanced around wildly to locate the box. I giggled while she struggled to find it beneath the oceans of fabric we had gathered around and between the tables. She lifted some fabric, gasped, and raised up a tiny beige box.
As she handed it over, a woman walked up behind her.
“Jen,” she said. “I have a question about the aisle walk.”
“Yeah,” Jen replied mindlessly. “What's up, Victoria?”
I turned with the box in my hand, trying to figure out how I was going to grab a tack and stick it to the fabric. I sighed out of frustration and dropped the curtain.
“So, how tall is Gabe? I know you have me paired with him, but I need to accommodate for leg stride so we don't fall out of place,” Victoria continued.
“We'll be practicing that the night before,” Jen replied.
I frowned. “Wait, I thought I was walking with Gabe?”
Victoria stared at me as Jen turned slowly.
Jen shrugged. “Well, about that . . .”
“About that?” I repeated. “Did you change the arrangement?”
“Yeah, I did. I wanted you to feel comfortable at my wedding.”
I smiled warmly. “Oh, that's really nice of you, Jen. Who am I paired with?”
“I meant to tell you sooner, actually.”
“So, tell me.”
She hissed slightly as she pressed her hands together. “You're walking with Levon.”
“I'm walking with . . . What?” I dropped the box of tacks, causing them to scatter all over the fabric surrounding our feet. Some of them skittered underneath, clacking together. “You paired me with Levon?”
“I did.”
“And why did you do that?”
“It was the easiest swap possible without disturbing the entire walking setup.”
I shook my head. “I don't want to be walking with your brother.”
“Why?” Victoria posed curiously. “He's like super handsome.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, he's a super handsome ex-boyfriend. ”
Victoria stiffened, offered us both a kind smile, and then quickly shuffled away. My burning eyes followed her as she skittered off just like the tacks that had bounced from the box. I was furious. I was irate. I couldn't contain what I was feeling in my muscles.
I think I was about to burst.
I took a breath. “Jen . . . Jennifer . . . I love you so dearly.”
Jen held up her hands as if to surrender. “Hey, we're all cool here.”
“You know I love you and I will absolutely do anything for you.”
“Please, don't be mad.”
“I'm not mad. I'm just,” I faded into a squeak as I tried to formulate my words. “I don't know why you would do that.”
“I just figured since you and Gabe had separated, it would be less awkward to be with Levon.”
I gaped at her. “You thought it would be less awkward for me to be paired with my ex-boyfriend who basically hates me?”
“This was the best arrangement with the fewest adjustments. Don't you want things to run smoothly?”
“I'm the one who's supposed to be saying that to you.”
She laughed. “Yeah, but you're the one panicking. So, I figured I'd pick up the slack.”
“Am I panicking?”
“No, but you're redder than any beet I've ever seen on a farm.”
I covered my cheeks with my hands. I was afraid to move. I had taken off my heels so I could climb the ladder and I was totally barefoot. If I stepped in any direction, it meant death by tack. My face was so hot that I think I was about to faint.
I fanned myself. “God, it's hot in here.”
Jen grabbed a water bottle from a nearby table. She handed it over. “Just breathe.”
“Your brother hates me. Why did you pair him with me?”
She giggled. “You're having the same reaction he had.”
I paused with the water bottle to my lips. “What?”
“Yeah, he basically threw a temper tantrum when I told him I had to pair him with you.”
“Is that why you yelled at him?”
She nodded. “Yep. We had a blast that afternoon.”
“I'm sorry, Jen.”
She waved away the apology. “Hey, it's like high school all over again. I'm actually kind of enjoying some of the drama.”
“Is it better than the shows you watch?”
“It's a close call.”
I chuckled lightly. “So, he already knows.”
“I really did mean to tell you sooner. I just got lost in all the decorating.”
“It tends to take up a lot of mental space. I'll admit to that.”
“So, are you mad?”
I shrugged. “A bit, but I think I'll get over it.”
“See, that's a different response than Levon.”
“Wait, what was his response?”
She laughed. “Well, as I said, he threw a tantrum. He said he would never get over it or something like that. He was being a huge drama king.”
“I bet it was funny to watch.”
“He was really in over his head about you walking with him. Like he went on and on about you disliking him and stuff.”
I raised my eyebrows. “He never mentioned that. We encountered each other a few times, too. I mean, we just ran into each other the other day. Wait, does he think I hate him?”
“Did I say that?”
“You said something about me disliking him.”
She shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, he didn't say any of those words out loud or anything.”
“Jennifer, stop acting like a high school cheerleader. Does he think I hate him?”
She gave me a playful grin, shrugged, and then disappeared into the sea of bridesmaids occupying the dance floor. When she was gone, I tipped back the water bottle. The heat had at least left my cheeks. I was worried about how it might ruin my whole demeanor if I stayed blushing.
I studied Jen. She was talking with her girls and telling jokes, making them all laugh heartily. She had a way of doing that. She was always the popular one back in high school. It was cute to watch her do it all over again. And she was right—the drama was still pretty juicy.
I had to admit it was rather arousing to be near Levon again. I felt like a teenager. Even though I didn't want to see him, there was an allure there that I couldn't deny. His eyes, his skin, the smell of his cologne—all of it brought back memories that crashed into the clearing of my mind. It took over the land of my brain and brought goosebumps to my skin, to the very places he used to touch.
I turned away from the gaggle of girls in the middle of the dance floor. I stared at the ladder in front of me, wondering if stepping forward was a good idea. I crouched down and started plucking tacks from the fabric and reaching carefully underneath to find more. I located the box. I held it in one hand as I searched for more tacks with the other, unwilling to just leave them laying around.
As I shuffled through the ocean of fabric, the world went quiet around me. I was back in my own mind. It took me to a place where I had first met Levon: the baseball field. The boys had gone for a joyride and picked us up along the way. Levon was driving. I remember being crammed into the front seat of his truck while the boys and a few of my friends rode along in the back.
He held my hand that night. He squeezed it. And he never did anything else. He was such a gentleman about everything and I wished hard that I could go back to that time. He paid me all the attention in the world. He took me on dates and gave me gifts that he had created. Even the lousy bone necklace was a finer gift than any bit of jewelry some average Joe could have handed me.
I instinctively reached for my neck, smiling.
That thing fell apart as soon as he wrapped it around my neck , I recalled fondly. He wanted to get into taxidermy. He was learning how to utilize all parts of an animal. I shook away the memory. See, this is what he wants—he wants me to get sentimental and run back to him. Well, I just won't fall for it.
I almost dropped the box again. When I felt like I had gathered all the tacks, I stepped over the sea of fabric to set the box on the table. I grabbed one and went back to the ladder, ascending it with the silk curtain I had been holding. I tacked it to the wall and descended with a smile.
“Better,” I said. “Now, I just need another.”
“Do you want me to help?”
I turned to find Jen with her hand on her hip.
“I mean, if you want,” I replied. “I didn't expect you to return.”
“I wanted you to think a little bit and cool down.”
“Well, thank you for that.”
She smiled wide. “Are you feeling any better?”
“A little.”
She took the tack box from the table and strolled up next to me, holding it up as I ascended the ladder again. I pinned the curtain in place and reached down for a tack.
“Thanks,” I whispered. “Are the girls all set?”
“Yeah, we're going to talk about the rehearsal soon.”
“That should be good. We have to practice so it's perfect.”
“Do you think you can handle that?”
“I think I can handle a lot more than you give me credit for.”
She gave me a smirk and chimed, “Oh, feisty.”
“I think I need more coffee.”
“I can send Victoria on a coffee run. Would you like your usual?”
I pushed the tack through the curtain and into the wall, smiling at my handiwork. “Sure.”
“Alright, I'll be back in a few.”
“Take your time.”
I stepped down from the ladder and stood a few feet away to study the curtains. They looked even. I moved the ladder over to the next window and climbed it again with a new silk curtain. I held it up, placing it as level with the others as possible. Although having help was nice, I worked best alone.
Especially after that bomb Jen had dropped.
It's nothing personal. It was literally so nothing else got disturbed , I assured myself. Even though I'm disturbed and it sounds like Levon is, too. I don't hate him. I never hated him.
I frowned as I pushed the tack through the curtain.
I hope he never hated me. It wasn't . . . it was never entirely personal. It was his job. He was committed entirely to his job because he wanted his career to soar. I repeated my motions and kept moving the ladder, moving the curtains as well. And he succeeded. But it came with a heavy cost.
As I picked up a rhythm, I found myself moving around the room a lot faster than before. Twenty minutes had passed when Victoria came up with a fresh, piping hot cup of coffee. I descended the ladder and accepted the cup gratefully, holding it up.
“Thanks. I'm sorry about earlier. I just . . .”
She laughed nervously. “I get it. I have more exes in this town than I can count. I'm grateful Gabe isn't one of them.”
“Oh, right.”
“Can I get you anything else?”
“Nah, I'm good. Thanks, Vic.”
“Of course.”
She wandered off and I studied her, drawn to her calm and cool energy. That's all I needed right now. I needed to be calm and cool. It was business as usual and as long as I wore my professional demeanor, I would succeed. I just had to keep my head in the game, no matter what happened.
Even if that means I lose my mind a little bit , I joked. A little madness can go a long way. That's what Mama always told me .
I sighed and then sipped my coffee, thankful for the warmth coming from my cup. It soothed me enough to get me to walk over to the girls that were standing in a circle. And I felt like I was a part of them. I felt like I was part of the crew.
And that's what I needed.