Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
C lara
I stood in the middle of the park with my purse clutched to my side. The Oklahoma breeze greeted my cheek and caused me to smile slightly as I listened to the sounds erupting around me. It was a sunny Saturday, a wonderful day to take a walk through the park. I sighed as I turned about with my eyes sharply focused on every object in motion: the Frisbee flying through the air, the group of kids bouncing around a puppy, and the park attendees setting up a grill for cooking.
The smell of the grill danced under my nostrils. I inhaled the scent, suddenly feeling hungry.
“I didn't expect you to show.”
I flipped around and retained my grin. “Hello to you, too, Gabe.”
He flashed me his usual dazzling grin. “Hey.”
“Shall we?”
“Sure. After you.”
He gestured to the path near us and I stepped forward, tentatively trying to match his pace. I think he was trying to do the same thing. We wandered in silence, side by side, picking up a steady rhythm after a few minutes.
I sighed. “So, how's work?”
“It's work. You know how it goes in the business world.”
“I'm familiar.”
He nodded, tucking his hands into his pockets. “What about you?”
“I had a retirement party last week. I decorated and organized the event. It was nice.”
“Oh, yeah? Who retired?”
“Do you remember Marilyn?”
He smiled warmly. “Yeah, she was always a sweet woman. I'm glad she got to celebrate.”
“Me, too.”
“So, uh . . . How's the wedding planning going?”
I chuckled. “Well, it's been a lot.”
“I bet.”
“Jen is a stylish woman. She has a lot of ideas that are easy to put into practice, so I've been extra thankful for that.”
“That's good. We celebrated with Ryan last night.”
“I didn't realize he was holding his bachelor party so soon.”
“Yeah, we wanted to surprise him with it.”
I nodded. “How did it go?”
“Well, it was mostly fun.”
“Mostly?”
“Yeah, Levon and I sort of got into it.”
I laughed. “Was the beer pong tournament that serious?”
“No, it wasn't that.”
“Then, what was it?”
“Well, I,” He trailed off as he ran his fingers through his hair. “It was about you.”
I stopped in my tracks, crossing my arms over my chest. Although it was far from cold outside, I felt exposed and I already had goosebumps on my arms.
I swallowed hard. “It was about me?”
“I don't think we meant to argue. I think it was just the atmosphere.”
“But it was Ryan's party. Why were you two arguing about me?”
Gabe shrugged. He picked up his pace again and I followed. “I guess he got upset that you and I were dating.”
“Why would he be upset about that?”
“Nobody told him we were dating.”
I scoffed. “Tough deal. It was none of his business.”
“See, that's what I thought.”
“I don't understand why he would even care.”
“He made it sound like I was waiting for you to be single so I could swoop in. Something weird like that.”
I rolled my eyes. “It sounds like he was throwing another one of those temper tantrums.”
“Yeah, well, I sort of threw one, too.”
“I can imagine the alcohol didn't help.”
“Not exactly.”
“So, what else happened?”
He shrugged again. “I don't know. We got into it and Ryan tried to get us to go outside. Levon was just really mad at me for dating you.”
“I still don't understand why he would be concerned with all that.”
“To be honest, Clara, I don't think he's over you.”
I resisted the urge to stop in my tracks again. We were passing by a family having a picnic and I didn't want them overhearing our conversation. After all, I needed to keep up appearances. I was the only interior designer around for miles. I didn't want to lose customers over some dramatic fight between two of my ex-boyfriends.
I sighed. “That seems to be a common opinion.”
“Who else says that?”
I shook my head. “It doesn't matter. Why do you think he's not over me?”
“I can just tell. He got mean and defensive when I kept talking about you. I didn't even think it was a big deal until he argued with me about it.”
“I'm so confused. Why were you even talking about me?”
He took a breath, holding it for a second before exhaling audibly. I studied his profile, noticing the way the lines on his forehead deepened as he recalled the previous night. He looked worried, maybe even terrified about what he was about to tell me.
I held my breath.
“I was just going through some of our pictures,” he recounted. “The ones we took on one of our dates. I guess I was just missing you, you know? I realized we had so many great memories together and I still want things to work out between us.”
“I told you to delete those pictures.”
“That's hard to do, Clara.”
I turned away from him, hiding the tears welling in my eyes. “Well, it wasn't hard for me.”
“Not everyone can just turn off their emotions at will. I can't do that.”
“It's not that hard, Gabe. We broke up. That means delete everything.”
He sighed. “I just don't see it that way. I like our memories. I like thinking about them.”
I shrugged away his comment. It was too much for me.
I just want to catch up , I thought grimly. And he wants to talk about us. I mean, I guess we need to talk about what happened. I just don't think I can handle it right now.
I uncrossed my arms, adjusted my purse, and then crossed my arms again. I still felt exposed. I still felt cold.
“I guess that's fair,” I whispered. “I've been focusing on moving on.”
“You're really good at that, Clara. I saw how you did that after Levon.”
“Well, he made it pretty easy.”
He nodded. “I'm sure it still hurt.”
“You should know.”
“I do know. And that's why I've been thinking about you—about us . We made so much together. We created an entire universe. I thought we could keep creating in New York.”
“Yeah, well, you know how I feel about moving.”
“I do.”
I huffed. “So, that wouldn't have worked out.”
“You never know. Things could have changed.”
“Not me.”
He laughed. “Because you're as stubborn as a mule, Clara.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, well, that's me.”
“I got so angry last night. I told Levon that it seems like he's trying to ruin my chances at reconciling things with you. I almost punched him.”
“Gabe!”
He tried to laugh it off but he ended up coughing instead. He shrugged. “I got mad.”
“You really want to get back together, huh?”
“I mean, yeah. Why not? We worked so well. We could work well again with a few changes. I think we could make things work.”
“Between here and New York?” I shook my head. “Gabe, I think this is fate.”
“What if we disregard fate? It's not like we have to follow it blindly. We could make our own plans.”
I smiled a little. “It's sweet that you want to patch things up, but I really believe we were supposed to break up.”
“How can you think that?”
“Because of how things happened. That, I think, was fate. You wanted to move and I didn't. That meant we had to go our separate ways.”
He took a shaky breath. “I still think we could have worked it out.”
“I think I like you more as a friend.”
“Ugh, great.”
I laughed. “Why can't we be great friends? We broke up well before we knew Levon was back in town. This had nothing to do with him. We just weren't meant to be together.”
“I guess you're right about that.”
“Of course, I'm right.”
He chuckled. “Does this mean I get to call you out when you're wrong?”
“As a friend? Sure, I don't see why not.”
“I just feel like I had a lot with you and I would have liked to see where that headed.”
I shrugged. “For us, it headed to a dead end. But there's someone out there for everyone. I firmly believe you'll meet someone that is just right for you. Maybe you'll even meet that person in New York. How's that for fate?”
“I can't argue with that. You might be right.”
“As I said, of course, I'm right.”
He laughed. “Stubborn.”
“You know it.”
He stopped near a large tree and wavered underneath the shade of the branches, turning to face me. He took my hand gently.
“It's just hard,” he whispered. “When you've spent so much time with someone and made so many memories together, it's really hard to go separate ways.”
He ran his thumbs over my knuckles.
I smiled weakly. “I understand.”
“You said you didn't have a hard time with it.”
“Well, it was hard for me, too, even if I said it wasn't.”
“Do you think we will ever have a chance in the future?”
“No, Gabe. I don't think we will.”
He nodded and released my hand. I let it drop to my side, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I glanced around at the rest of the park. When I turned back to Gabe, he nodded toward the ground.
I sat down with him. “Besides, a friendship would mean more to me than a marriage.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, you already know all of my secrets. And I know yours.”
He chuckled. “I sure do.”
“So, what do you say? Could we be friends?”
“I could think about it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Gabe.”
He chuckled. “What? Friends can't make jokes?”
“I guess you can make jokes. But no jokes about how I look privately. That would be so embarrassing.”
“Hey, I would never joke about that. That's just plain rude.”
I smiled. “Thanks. It means a lot that you would be agreeable here.”
“I don't think I had much of a choice. You sort of ran off at the restaurant.”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I was scared. I didn't want what you wanted.”
“I understand that now. Levon sort of shed some light on that.”
I frowned. “During the argument?”
“No, before the argument. We were here at the park some days ago, just reminiscing. He mentioned your resistance to traveling. And by the way it sounds, it would have been a lot.”
“Moving from place to place just doesn't appeal to me. It's too scary. Once you get settled, you end up moving again. I'm not a traveler.”
“I get that. But that's why I thought New York would be fine. You wouldn't be traveling.”
I laughed. “But I'd be settling for a life I didn't want.”
“That's fair. I guess we just had different goals.”
“And that's okay. That just means we can keep our friendship. We don't have to lose all that.”
He nodded. “Well, good. I'm glad.”
He extended his hand and I shook it.
I smiled wide. “I'm glad, too.”