Chapter 8
Francesca
To say I was proud of Matt was an understatement. He was finally stepping up and becoming what he had worked so hard to be.
The ceremony was just protocol, we were all more than aware of that. He was fully in his Don skin for some time now. Nevertheless, it was an honor to be recognized and welcomed into such an exclusive circle, one I wouldn’t like to see him miss out on.
Matt earned it, not because of who he was blood-related to, although in the Cosa Nostra, it did play an important part, but because he truly deserved it, worked for it, and sacrificed a whole lot for it.
I was filled with pride, but I couldn’t help but feel the taint of jealousy, too, and for that, I felt like the worst person in the damn world. I felt selfish, and small, and petty, and… And I hated this feeling. But I couldn’t shy away from the truth.
Since the night of the warehouse bust, things had changed. Matt was back, taking his place, and even though he tried to leave space for me, it was to him that his men ran, to him that they bowed in respect, to him that they had pleaded their life and honor to. And it was only normal.
I was just a temporary substitute. Matt was the true boss with whom their loyalty stood, and I understood all of that fully. But again, I couldn’t help but want that for myself, too. I always had.
If jealousy could have a less negative hue, this would be it. I didn’t resent Matt for what he had, not even a tiny bit. Or his men, for that matter.
Even I say his men!
I only wished I could find my place in this world tailored exclusively by men, for men. Not taking Matt’s place but earning my own.
Why was everything in this world a struggle for women? Why did we have to fight at every turn to have the same rights, the same standards, the same opportunities men did?
Weaker sex, my ass. I’ve always felt that to be based on a deceitful perception of womanhood. No real man, unbiased and unthreatened by a woman’s power, could ever affirm their mothers, sisters, daughters to be weak. They’d be lost without them. Men own the world because we let them. Because we were too busy loving and nurturing them to care for the rest.
I loved my life, and most of all, I loved my husband.
I craved to find my place, because right now, I was like a raft drifting through the waters, sometimes calm, sometimes tormented. I just needed an anchor to hold me down, something that could fulfill me and my ambition. Did that make me such a bad person?
Because, somehow, it was making me feel like one.
Matt
Waiting for my Don ceremony was hard. Not because of the ceremony itself but because of the pending conversation I needed to have with Don Amato.
After Jimmy told me what he had found out about that Tommy guy, I knew this was something I shouldn’t ask Francesca. I couldn’t do that to her. Make her choose between her loyalty to me or her family. I wouldn’t ever put her in that position, especially now.
Since I decided to stay, I slowly saw how adrift she seemed to be, how she lost a little bit of that sparkle in her eye each time we headed to Dea Tacita.
My men respected her. I saw it in their eyes. I saw it in the way they spoke to her. But they still considered me as their boss. It was what they had grown used to, and they immediately fell back into their old habits as soon as I was back in my seat.
She was happy, but not fully, and it pained me to see her lose something so dear to her.
If I wanted a trophy wife, she certainly wasn’t it, and I loved her all the more for it. So I figured the only logical thing to do was to officially make her my second in command. Max wouldn’t mind.
The guys had already seen her in action, so they would easily accept my decision for what she was and not who she was married to.
All our businesses had improved exponentially while I was gone, and her strategic approach to certain matters turned problems into huge opportunities for growth. I was so proud of her, and she was so much better than I was. Together, we would be indestructible, and I was certain that my plan to turn some of the businesses legit was more than possible with her by my side.
But before that was possible, I needed my Don ceremony to happen, make everything official, and after that was finally out of the way, I could do whatever the hell I wanted in my territory as long as I followed the rules and my oath.
But right now, I was breaking one.
Don Amato was breaking one.
And I needed to know why, and more importantly, ensure that this would not put Francesca in danger.
The only thing Jimmy found was a Tommy Borgia, born in Detroit. An active soldier who enlisted in the army with Enzo Amato’s address, only to have it scratched out two days after that. No photo.
His whole record was classified, a fucking red flag that had me standing alert. No one in the mafia could be related to anyone on the force. That wasn’t a rule, it was fucking law.
Being in the army was just a mere difference in semantics for us.
Potato, fucking po-tah-to.
This told me everything I needed to know besides who this Tommy actually was. So after having this information eating me up inside for a whole fucking week, excuse me if I didn’t care for subtlety. I went straight for the jugular.
“Who’s Tommy?”
Don Amato’s eyes widened, almost jumping out of their sockets at the mention of his name. He looked at me, a death glare in his eyes, as he searched for the intentions behind such an inquiry.
“I saw a text Francesca sent him.” I vaguely left it at that, replying to his unspoken question, making his shoulders ease up a little as he understood I wasn’t accusing him of anything. My interest was innocent enough for him to relax his stance, sighing before he replied.
“Matt, if I answer that question, I’ll expect it to be kept between the two of us. Am I clear?” His words were final and laced with a threat that didn’t need wording. “You will break your wife’s heart if your mind is set on anything else.”
“I would never do anything to hurt her.” My voice was steady and unwavering. I didn’t care for being a rat, nor was that my intention. I just needed to settle my uneasiness, and he was the only one who could do it.
“Tommy is Francesca’s older brother,” he sighed, not sure if in relief or resignation. “I take it you know what he does for a living?”
“I do,” I replied while my mind was still wrapping itself around that piece of information. “Fuck.” I finally let out, my hand smoothing my jaw as the implications sunk in while Don Amato stared at me with his brows furrowed in concern. “The secret is safe with me, I just needed to know who he was to her.”
“Victoria, their mother, was raped when she was younger. She was already dating my brother at the time, and Tommy was the result of what happened. He isn’t an Amato, but he is a part of our family. We will protect him with everything we’ve got, and I am fully aware of the implications in that. He never has, and never will, open his mouth about any of us. He is an honorable man, and Francesca… let’s just say that he’s always been her personal hero since she was a little girl.” And to imagine I had thought she was cheating on me.
I’m a fucking asshole.
“He ran away when he was 18 and enlisted in the army. He’s just on the wrong side of the law. But he is a good man and loves Francesca dearly. He would never do anything that would endanger her. You can rest assured.”
“If I have your word on it.” I had grown to trust Enzo. I was sure he was telling me the truth.
“You do. Have you spoken to Francesca about this?”
“No, I haven’t. I knew it wasn’t her story to tell as soon as I got the report from Jimmy, and it would be incredibly selfish to ask her to choose between being loyal to her family or to me. I figured you had asked for secrecy about this, whoever he was. Your address is all over his application.”
“Yes, I did, as soon as he chose his life’s path. She wanted to talk to you, though. My sister-in-law told me so.”
“I’m happy to finally be in the circle. Francesca deserves to be able to have him in her life, even if we have to do what we have to do to make that happen.” I replied, referring to breaking a vow I had just promised to keep.
“I’m glad you feel that way. You truly are a man of honor, Matt. I am happy you’ve both found each other.”
“I am, too,” I smiled, my mind wandering to my perfect queen. “You said you needed to speak with me, too?”
“Yes, right. I’m an old man, Matt, and I just found my daughter. I want to enjoy my time with her while I still have it. This business slashes through life expectancy like no other,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood. “I’m going to be stepping down from my seat in The Commission,” he explained. I couldn’t see why this was any of my concern. Maybe he wanted my opinion or support.
“I can understand that. How can I help?”
“I want you to take my place.”
“What?” I whisper shouted, his words not exactly calculating in my brain. That was not where I saw this conversation heading at all.
“Yes. My seat in The Commission and my place in Detroit.”
“Don Amato, I’m honored, but–”
“Just think about it. Okay?” He interrupted, “It’s a huge opportunity for you. With two seats, you would be the closest anyone has been in years of a capo di tutti i capi .” boss of all bosses. “Given the precedence and who you are, my capi are on board, and The Commission will be, too.”
I stood there looking at him, not a blink or movement, letting his words sink in. And then it hit me. The answer to everything was right here in front of me. I took a deep breath, a grin spreading my lips as the imagery practically came to life before me.
This was the damn dream. The only thing I had to do was grasp it with all my fucking strength.
And I would.
Nel sangue siamo nati, nel sangue moriremo. In blood we are born, in blood we die.