Chapter 9
Matt
The next two days of the ceremony were nothing but slow torture. I was counting every damn minute before I could get the hell out of there.
Still, time and distance gave me opportunity.
My plan was already in motion, and even though Don Amato didn’t exactly agree with my decision, he vowed to help wherever he could, knowing how firmly my mind was set. There was no force on this earth strong enough to deter me.
Don Massimo, the recently appointed Don from California, was only a couple of years older than me. We both bleed new blood into the organization. A new generation with more progressive thinking, detached from the dominant ideology of patriarchy that still reigned in the mafiosi world.
I was convinced that, with the right reasoning and negotiation, I could get him on my side, too. Three out of five was good enough for me. I didn’t need unanimity. As long as everyone kept their word, securing a majority was enough for me.
That’s where the honor code of conduct in the mafia worked as a guarantee. They’d stick to their word, come hell or high water, or I’d spend the rest of my life reminding them of the consequences of crossing a Battaglia.
After those two days, I could finally exhale in both relief and annoyance. This impasse was killing me. It was as if I was breathing, but no air reached my lungs.
As soon as Don Amato finished his closing speech, I sprung from my spot, flying out the double doors of the hall. I couldn’t wait to get back home to do what I had to do.
“Don Battaglia,” Max called out, keeping up with the long-gone formalities for the sake of the crowd, jogging towards me to catch up. I wasn’t slowing down for anyone.
“I’m leaving, Max. You and the guys can stay longer if you want.”
“Not a chance. I’m going with you.”
“Suit yourself. But don’t try to talk me out of it,” I said as we settled into one of the SUVs we had brought. “I could use your help, anyway.”
“Talk you out of what?”
“Just drive. I’ll tell you on the way,” I grunted, texting Jimmy to let him know they’d be going back alone.
Hearing myself lay out the plan to Max made it all feel scarier and more real. I’d had a gun pressed to my temple more times than I could count, and yet this moment had me in a chokehold like none other before.
Max let me spill my guts without so much as a judging sigh. It was hard enough having to explain everything once with the right cadence, concealing the pained words was simply out of the question. But there was no doubt in my mind that this was the right thing to do. This was my duty.
The only thing I needed was to grow a fucking pair and right this wrong of my own making.
The unrelenting rain stretched the drive home about an hour above the normal time it should have taken, building my anxiety to a level I had yet to experience. It was hard to see the road in front of us, and the night seemed darker than normal, matching the murky shade of my soul.
“Thanks, Max. You’re a good friend.”
“Why are you thanking me?”
“For listening and for not trying to talk some sense into me,” I chuckled, but it was just irony and nervousness leaving my body.
“You seem sure this is the only way. I know better than to waste words on a lost cause.” He replied just as we pulled up in front of my building. It was clear in his tone that he didn’t agree with my plan.
“It’s the right thing to do. My grandfather would have approved. This is as close to greatness as one can get. Please go get what I asked you. Make sure it’s on the doorstep before dawn.”
“Sure thing.”
“Oh, and Max… I’ll slash your throat if you tell anyone what I just confided.”
“Goes without saying, Boss.”
“Before dawn, Max. I’m counting on you.” I waited for Max to nod his understanding before stepping under the pouring rain, drenching my suit until the cold hit my bones.
I looked up to the sky, searching for the strength I needed to carry on.
“Alex, Grandpa, I’m gonna need some celestial guidance.” I pleaded to my stars above as the scent of the rain filled my lungs.
That smell of earth settled my feet back on the ground, and after a couple of controlled breaths, I was back to my calm and collected self again. It must have been them breathing their strength into me and guiding me back home to where I belonged.
Francesca must have sensed me. As soon as I stepped inside the apartment, my eyes set on her. She was standing in the hallway, staring at the door. At me.
She had one of my hoodies on, no pants, and even though it was too big for her, reaching mid-thigh, it suited her a whole lot better than it suited me. She looked absolutely breathtaking in my clothes, just the dim light of the moon shining in through the window, casting hues of divinity around her.
Lurking in the dark, just as she always did, she stood there waiting for me to come all the way inside.
“Hi, Baby. I wasn’t expecting you to be home so soon,” she said as I stalked closer, not breaking my silence, just taking in this image of perfection in front of me. “You’re soaked. What happened?”
I stood closer, just a couple inches away from her, looking straight into those obsidian pools that regarded me right back with the glint of love I feared would tear me apart.
I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, stroking her cheek, watching as Francesca closed her eyes and leaned into my hand, reveling in my touch. I tilted her chin up with the tip of my finger and kissed her tender lips as she reached to meet me halfway, standing on her tiptoes.
It was a chaste but lingering kiss that I soon broke to look at her flawless face again before taking her in my arms and kissing her again, neither one of us caring that I was drenching her with my soaked clothes. My lips fit in hers so perfectly, just as if they were made as a pair.
I kissed her fiercely, trying to consume as much of her as I could, spilling all my need for her in it, and still, it wasn’t enough.
My soul was in that kiss.
In each stroke of my tongue against hers, in each breath she took that I claimed as mine, in each movement of our lips as one. It was all I could do not to crumble right there to my knees to worship the ground she walked on.
The sheer taste of her was enough to clear any lucid thought from my brain.
I’d never loved this fiercely before, and as these thoughts raged in my mind, I ravished her lips with a hunger I had never felt before, but with an overwhelming need to take this slow and appreciate every second of it.
Of her.
Of us. Together.
I drew her body close to mine, pulling her into my kiss and up in my arms. Her legs wrapped around my waist, closing the already small gap between us as she held onto me as if her life depended on it, hugging me and kissing me with all her might.
We fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle. This was more than just a kiss. It was two souls connecting, dancing under a veil of love, lust, and longing.
I couldn't part.
I couldn’t stop.
The taste of her mouth was my own personal brand of the worst vice, making me shoot to the sky and never wanting to come back down.
I took her bottom lip into my mouth, licking and biting on it, eating her without ever being satisfied.
Her hands were stuck in my hair as she pulled my face closer to hers, small pants leaving her perfect mouth each time my tongue stroked hers while her body involuntarily rocked against mine.
My eyes were tightly shut as I savored this moment, as I savored her and how soft and wet her lips were against mine.
My legs had taken us to our bedroom, where I placed her feet back onto the ground, reaching to the hem of the hoodie and pulling it up and above her head. My fingers traced her bare skin beneath it, never breaking her entrancing gaze.
I saw myself in her eyes.
We truly were one and the same, and that realization pushed my decision into finality. She’d understand.
Francesca reached up to my collar, slowly unbuttoning my shirt, never diverting her eyes from mine. The air around us was thick, tense, and full of unverbalized devotion for one another.
She slipped my shirt off my shoulders, leaning into my chest and kissing my wet skin, tracing the path of the little droplets that fell from my hair with her tongue.
Small, warm kisses made my skin erupt into a trail of fire wherever she touched. Francesca was both my highest victory and my worst demise. My enemy and my friend. My life, lover, and reason to fucking breathe.
My pants were on the floor along with our underwear, leaving us standing in front of each other completely exposed, stripped of any thought that didn’t belong in here at this moment. I let my eyes roam her body as I swallowed a lump that had formed in my throat. It was as if it was the first time I was naked in front of a woman.
In a way, it was.
I was completely exposed to her.
My soul was as bare as I was as I let all my love and adoration for this woman spill into every touch, every kiss, every glare. We didn’t need words tonight. We didn’t need to hide or play games. My feelings for her were running the show right now as the thick, heavy silence around us screamed my devotion and dedication to her.
Francesca.
MY. WIFE.
Francesca
Matt looked at me as if it was the first time he was actually seeing me as I stood naked in front of him. His eyes roamed my body, taking in every inch of my skin, imprinting it in his brain, committing every detail to memory before his hands followed.
His kisses were different tonight. Demanding but not controlling. Soft, but vigorous. A constant contradiction between what I knew of him and a whole new different side he was now allowing me to see.
He stopped from time to time, leaning his forehead on mine, taking his time to search my soul, never saying a word.
He covered my skin in his wet, soft, but all-consuming kisses, loving every part of me with his hands and his lips as I lay on the bed, my body arching, aching, demanding his touch and caresses.
I was both on fire and clouds, in hell and heaven, lost and found. I tried hard to focus, but my head was floating on air, as just with these kisses, he set my skin ablaze, making me flare not only in lust but deep need, desire, and love for this man.
He owned me. Every part of me.
My body.
My heart.
My soul.
I still hadn't heard his voice since he got here. His eyes, hands, and kisses were doing all the talking for him.
Matt placed his body between my spread legs, staring into my eyes again. His gray eyes took my breath away from the intensity they held in them. I struggled to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. It just wouldn’t budge. The moment was too intense, too sacred, too glorious. I was struck by an eerie feeling, but at the same time, Matt soothed me back to serenity with every touch of his fingers against my skin.
“I love you,” his hoarse voice was just a whisper. “I’ll always love you,” he said, still holding my gaze as he slowly entered me.
Matt’s body fit perfectly in mine, filling me to completion. I held my breath as he slowly slid inside me, keeping immobile until he was deeply buried in me, the intensity that was him tonight not allowing me to breathe, blink, or move, only releasing when he reached the hilt. His eyes were still fixed on mine as I exhaled my strained gasp while a lone tear left my eye. I felt his words deeper than I ever had until this day.
Matt reached his hand up to my face, wiping it away with his thumb before kissing me again. I felt his words in that kiss, and I believed them even more, as if that was even possible.
He slowly started moving, making love to me as he had never done before.
My heart seemed to lay outside of my body tonight, completely rendered to him. Completely surrendered to his will and whim.
Pure, blissful connection moved us in unison as we both reveled in our lovemaking. My mind slipped to the strangeness of Matt's actions, but it quickly returned to the here and now as I focused on this divine moment of intimacy.
Much more than merely physical. Emotional. Ethereal.
The heavenly apex of this journey flooded both of us, making our bodies and minds float high in the sky before slumping in a tired yet fulfilled mingle of pleasure and exhaustion.
I let my body be taken under as Matt held me safely in his arms. His scent lulled me into a peaceful slumber, shipping me off to dreams of happily ever afters. Because that was what he was. My happily ever after.
I had never felt more at peace than tonight. More complete and fully mended than now. I had all I needed right here.
The morning sun woke me from a beautiful dream of the future. My future. Our future.
Without opening my eyes, I searched for Matt in the bed, finding nothing but cold sheets. I sat up abruptly, my eyes darting all over the room before landing on a pile of papers on his side of the bed.
Before reaching for it, a sense of dread and ultimate dismay washed over me, my fingers trembling as they reached for them. My lungs drowned in dry air, and my eyes welled up with unshed tears.
Without having to look, I knew what those papers were. I ripped the handwritten note that was glued to the damn pile, allowing my eyes to read what my heart already knew.
“I surrender.”