Chapter 14
Matt
“FUUUUUCK!” My screams resounded through my office, almost rattling the large window that oversaw the dance floor below.
“Give him more,” Max ordered while James held my head and tried sticking the bottle of pure vodka down my throat again.
“I’m not drinking another drop of that shit!” I shouted, still in agony.
They were trying to numb my pain, but I knew better than to allow myself to black out in this vulnerable state after the shit that just went down. I was already dipping in and out of consciousness without being drunk out of my mind.
Somehow, we made it back to Dea Tacita, and I was now staring at the ceiling just above my desk. I tried looking around, catching glimpses of all the papers thrown on the floor. Whatever was on top of this table was now scattered around my office.
The bullet lodged in my side was burning like a motherfucker. Max’s fingers fiddling around inside me were just adding to the sting.
I had long stopped feeling the warmth of the blood sliding down my skin. My whole body was responding to my injury, shutting down unnecessary senses, focused only on withstanding the damn pain. Even my hearing had taken a toll, and it was hard to figure out what my soldati were saying with all the blood rushing in my ears.
I closed my eyes, swallowing down the nausea, the pain, my fucking stupidity, all with the strong taste of alcohol that lingered on my tongue. How much longer was this damn torture going to take?
Under my lids, I saw Francesca’s face, shaking her head in reproval. But somehow, the expression laced with worry on her face made my lips twist into a half smile.
She cared.
After everything, she still cared.
“Is he smiling?” Jimmy asked from what seemed to be a thousand miles away.
Fuck, I was hallucinating. I was trusting that vision to fill me with empty hope that my wife still loved me. She couldn’t. Not after I did exactly what I promised I never would.
I thought that adrenaline would blur every other turmoil in my brain, but it turned out that I could be piggyback riding off the reaper already, and my mind would always float back to her.
The lights above me turned into a smudged blob, the three bulbs fusing together before all I saw was black.
“Francesca, Baby, come here. Come back to bed.” I could smell her sweet scent all over my body. All over my sheets. Her skin was as soft as silk, her hair as dark as night. She was my queen, and I’d be devoted to her for all eternity.
“I’m gone, Matt. You can’t have me back.” She was right here a minute ago, so why did I hear her voice so far away? It was almost an inaudible whisper.
“What are you saying? You’re my wife. You’re mine forever.” The pain of losing her tore through me as if it were physical.
“Forever ended for us.”
“Forever never ends, Baby. That’s nonsense.” Forever never ended, right? It’s like an infinity loop. There’s no break, no way out, no escape.
“I’ve gone, and I’ll never come back.”
“Stop playing with me, Gattina, and come here right now.”
“I can’t, Matt. Some things can’t be taken. They are given. I was never yours to keep.” Her words slashed through me, the truth behind them sharper than a million blades. But I didn’t care for the truth.
“Like fucking hell, you weren’t!” I shouted.
“What?” James asked. I could see his brow furrowed in confusion between my squinted eyes.
“I can feel it.” Max’s voice pulled me back to my harsh reality. Was I dreaming? “Just a little more.”
I could feel him pushing further into me, a sharp growl escaping my chest from the pain.
“Either grab the damn thing right now or take your hand out of me.” I hissed, my eyes shut so tight I wasn’t sure I would be able to open them again.
“I need to reach deeper. Take another swig, this is gonna hurt.”
James pulled my head up again before gripping my jaw in place and forcing my mouth open. Without giving me any time to react, he stuck the bottle in my mouth and poured the clear liquid down my throat.
Taking the distraction, Max shoved his hand deeper, making me choke on the booze and agonizing pain.
Just as quickly, the pressure on my side relieved. Not for long, though. Before I could even catch my breath, these fuckers were pouring pure vodka onto my open wound.
Not even a sound tore through my chest.
That burn was the last thing I felt before passing out. At least while I was out, I couldn’t feel the pain. Both of them.
Some things can’t be taken.
That’s what she said. And she was absolutely right. Only I couldn’t afford the luxury of losing her forever because I was clearly lost myself.
Maybe, just maybe, I could see her in my dreams again, and she could show me the way back.
◆◆◆
Groggy as fuck, I opened my eyes, not seeing a damn thing in the blacked-out room. Yet, the smell alone was enough for me to know where I was.
This place still smelled like her. It smelled like what she was to me — home.
Fuck. I didn’t want to come back here. Why did those assholes bring me here and not take me back to the Ritz, where I’d been staying since she left?
These walls held too many memories that I couldn’t deal with right now.
I sat up on the side of the bed, my head spinning at the movement. How much fucking vodka had they given me? I could still taste it on my tongue and feel it on my breath.
Reaching for the lamp on the bedside table, I switched the light on and took in the familiar place. I missed it, but at the same time, I wanted to burn the damn thing to the ground.
This was where I left those damn papers for Francesca to find, and even though I knew it was the best move, I still craved punishment for it.
Mine for handing them to her.
Hers for signing the fucking stack. Hers for leaving. Hers for being fucking fine .
I was a fucking mess. How could she be fine?
Before standing, I lifted my t-shirt to inspect the wound. For someone with no medical training, Max had done a good fucking job.
My lower abdomen had been wrapped in gauze, covering up the bullet wound. Not a drop of blood staining the white dressing. I wanted to see the damage, though.
Slowly, I unwrapped myself and inspected my bruised skin. The wound was stapled shut in less than a perfect line. Before I could fiddle too much, my phone buzzed on the mattress.
“Thank fuck you’re not a plastic surgeon. You’ve botched me up real good,” I answered, inspecting the ugly scar.
“At least you’re still alive. You should get a better stapler, though.” Max answered with a chuckle. “All good?”
“I’m fucking drunk. That’s never good.”
“Just rest for the night. We’ll be at Dea Tacita if you need us.”
“We should expect retaliation. Place some shadows at Liam’s.”
“Already done.”
“Alison’s?”
“Second shift on its way as we speak.”
“Not you,” I warned him, my voice lacking the confidence it should hold.
Max was not a good fit for Alison, and ever since our grandfather died, I saw the way she looked at him. Max was no knight in shining armor. He was not the Prince Charming I saw sparkling in her eyes. Still, I knew he’d protect her with his life if he had to.
“Yes, Boss.” The ‘fuck you’ under his tone was clear, but as long as she was safe tonight, I couldn’t care if he was the one shielding her. So I let it go.
“And huh—”
“I called Detroit.” He cut me off. “Don Amato will take precautions,” Max replied, reading my mind.
“Good, good. I was thinking… Maybe someday soon we should kidnap a Don.”
“You really are drunk, or she fucked you up real good.”
“Are you in or not?” I asked angrily.
“Sure. She already hates me anyway.”
“That’s settled then. Now keep your cock in your pants and go back to work. Don’t you dare fucking touch her, Max.”
Even though my thought process was all over the place, he understood every single word.
“You’re not a fun drunk.”
“I’m not that pissed. Watch your back.”
“I will.” With that, Max hung up, and I threw the phone back onto the mattress.
I groaned as I got up. Every movement hurt like a bitch, but there was an undying desire to leave this place burning in my chest.
I took two steps towards the bathroom before freezing in my spot as I heard it. I quieted my breathing, almost stopping my own heart so I could listen before cutting the light.
One turn.
Two turns.
Keys.
The front door gently shutting.
I had company.