Chapter 15
Francesca
I have no idea what I’m doing.
I shouldn’t be here, but before I could bring myself back to my senses, the jet had already taken off.
There had been this nagging feeling inside me that I needed to come back to New York. I told myself I had to get some of my stuff. My passport. My driver’s license. My broken heart.
It was a weak excuse I convinced myself to believe so that coming back sounded less impulsive and wrong than it was.
Because it was wrong.
Two months away from him should have been healing, but they were anything but.
Even my outfit wasn’t appropriate for the sorry pretext I’d made up to be here.
For that, I’d told myself that, in the event of running into my ex-husband, I wanted him to see just how well off I was without him. Just how free and better off I was. Just how fucking fine and unaffected I was.
In the event. As if I’d come this far without certainty.
They were all lies to deceive my convictions and maybe harvest a reaction from the man I should loathe but couldn’t stop thinking about. In the back of my mind, I had a theory I wanted to test.
I couldn’t voice it or give it too much attention because if I was wrong, it would wreck me all over again. That’s the thing about hope and faith – if you find out it doesn’t exist, it’s worse than admitting defeat in round one.
I tiptoed into the apartment, slowly shutting the door behind me. The place was dark. Even the moon was hidden tonight, too embarrassed to witness the grand stupidity of my actions.
Still, I could make out the glass on the floor, the turned table, the path of wrath that had been my last minutes in this place. It was just as I had left it, which meant Matt hadn’t been staying here these last couple of months.
The realization hit my gut like a punch. Matt wasn’t here.
There’s that hope slashing me unexpectedly as I realized I’d be leaving with the stuff I came for and nothing else.
“You shouldn’t break an entry without a gun in hand.”
That voice cut every shadow of breath right from my lungs. At the speed of light, it traveled from my ears to my chest and straight down to my pussy, destroying all remnants of logic at its passage.
I could feel the steel of his weapon pressing into my back, and yet, not a hint of fear made me shiver. That was all on him. On his hoarse voice. His scent. His sudden closeness.
My body reacted to him just as it always had, just as if we had never parted.
“What are you doing here, Francesca?”
“I came for some of my stuff.” I gave him the half-truth I’d rehearsed in my head. “I’ll leave right after.”
“I don’t think so.” The way those words came out was almost predatory, and fuck was it thrilling.
Jesus, pull it together, Woman.
“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
Matt quickly spun me around, again stealing my breath with a single glance. One long, hard inhale, and it was clear that he’d been drinking way too much. But that made up only part of his darkness.
“Is this the new you? You’re a drunk now?”
“I’m not drunk.”
He was, but not by much.
He was wretched.
Every piece of him was dark, sharp edges drenched in promises of blood and sin.
Matt looked wild and unpredictable, a primal glint in his eyes that, for the first time ever, had me considering that I should fear him.
Because this man before me wasn’t the man I had married.
This man standing here today had dipped into a darkness far more staining than the one we had always allowed ourselves into. It wasn’t the business. It wasn’t the killings.
It was the death of a soul. If only Matteo Battaglia had one. And that realization alone was everything I’d come here for.
“You could have sent someone for your stuff. You could and should have warned me that Amatos were coming into my territory.”
“I’m not coming as an Amato. I’m coming as a divorced woman, taking only what's hers. I don’t want anything from you.”
“Have you forgotten that I know you just as well as I know myself? I know when you’re feeding me bullshit half-truths, Gattina. ”
“Don’t call me that,” I said, focusing on that stupid pet name instead of fighting him for calling me out.
“ Ga-tti-na .” He whispered every syllable tentatively straight into my ear, his lips grazing my skin and sending a surge of electricity through my whole body. “Try again.”
“I don’t owe you any explanations.”
Matt pressed his gun further into me, making me remember that I was, in fact, in enemy territory, and under threat, at that.
“What are you doing here?” He asked again.
“If you don’t believe me, shoot me.”
“I can’t. How would I fuck you then?”
Without warning, Matt slammed his lips onto mine, forcing his tongue into my mouth. In a moment of weakness, I gave in an inch, my lips welcoming his with just as much hunger and anger.
“Stop, Matt!” I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back with every ounce of strength in me. “I’m not yours to take anymore.”
I managed to put a few feet between us, walking back as Matt slowly stalked every step I took.
“I take what I want, when I want it.” He whispered in a tone that spoke directly to the most intimate parts of me, his eyes dark and sharp like a predator stalking his prey. “I don’t need to own you to consume you, Francesca.”
“You’re not touching me,” I warned, my tone final and unwavering.
“This is exactly what thrills you, Gattina . I know you. You want me to chase, catch you and then force the fucking pleasure out of you as if you never wanted it. Because you can’t admit to yourself that’s what you came here for. That’s what you want.”
“I don’t want it. Not with you, anyway.” I left those words to linger, allowing that insinuation to wreck their damage.
As soon as they hit him, Matt grabbed my jaw with such force my teeth would be leaving marks on the inside of my mouth.
“Do you think I will ever allow someone else to touch you?”
“Allow? I don’t need your permission for anything.”
“I’m not talking about permission, Gattina . I’m talking about preservation. Because I will make every single man who dares to touch you bleed dry, and after that,” he leaned in, his lips just an inch away from mine, “I’m coming for you.”
An ice-cold chill ran down my spine at his words and the seriousness behind them. They were borderline delusional, but I knew Matteo Battaglia never made empty threats.
I fought that feeling, releasing a sarcastic chuckle, mocking him right to his face.
“Good try. I haven’t seen any dead bodies at my door recently. And believe me, you had quite a few to pick from.” I lied, something inside me craving more of this primal side of Matt. I wanted to see that trace of pain I witnessed a minute ago when I implied having slept with other men.
A loud growl thundered from his chest before Matt pushed me backwards with the hold he still had on my jaw, making me slam right into the wall before I felt his gun press right into my ribs.
“Tell me you’re lying.” He hissed, anger and pure fire shooting from his skin and coating mine.
I slowly shook my head, a victorious fake grin on my face, taunting him even further.
“TELL ME YOU’RE FUCKING LYING.”
My smile spread wider, but only because I could see I was making him hurt, and fuck it felt good.
Suddenly, Matt spun me around, my face planted on the wall as he held it there firmly with his hand on my back.
“This fucking cunt is mine, Francesca. Tell me no one touched you.”
“I’m not a liar, Matt,” I said, shrugging. Technically, I wasn’t lying. I had touched myself, but there was no need to be specific.
I heard his gun fall to the floor before his hand left my body. Soon enough, the sound of his army knife being unsheathed chilled my bones and froze me to my spot.
Matt was unstable. I had never seen him like this. Maybe it wasn’t wise to push him this hard. He’s a killer with every fiber of his being. How could he turn off that part of him for one person?
“Who did you dress like this for, hmm?”
“Myself.”
Before I could think further, Matt cut my belt and waistband, gripping both sides of the fabric and tearing my leather skirt in two. The shreds coated the floor at my feet, and my heart raced in both panic and exhilaration.
“Fuck.” He cussed before a small sting radiated from my lower back, and I knew he had accidentally cut me. It couldn’t have been much because I’d had papercuts stinging more than that. “I’m sorry.”
Before I could reply, Matt dropped to his knees. His tongue swept across my skin, soothing the sting, the heat of his mouth making me stop breathing. He held me in place, one arm around my legs while his other hand was flat on the bare skin of my ass.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he barely whispered. I wasn’t sure if he meant now or when he served me those goddamn papers.
Maybe I was reading too much into those words. Fucking hope handing me a broken rope.
“I’m okay,” I assured, trying to look back at him.
“That’s exactly why you can’t leave without a damn punishment.”
I didn’t understand what he meant, and Matt didn’t give me time to process his words either.
Before I could move or react, Matt swept my thong aside and ravished me from behind. The feel of his warm tongue on my pussy and ass making me lose all sense of reality. A loud gasp left my mouth at his action.
“What the–” I tried protesting, but the way he ate me up was stealing every word before they even formed.
He moved my legs further apart, giving him better access to anywhere he wanted to reach, and I stupidly let him. Matt was ravenous. Insatiable. Eating me as if he’d been starved his whole life.
“You still taste like me. No one fucked my pussy.”
“There’s no way you can tell,” I said between ragged pants, being less convincing than I’d like.
As my words hit his ears, a sharp sting spread from my ass to every single nerve ending on my body. He’d just smacked my ass, and instead of protesting, I fucking moaned, earning me another one, just as strong and thrilling.
“You fucking like that.”
I swallowed the embarrassment and lump in my throat as I tried to pull away from him, but Matt’s grasp just got stronger and stronger, pinning me in place.
“You’re fucking soaked, Gattina . Don’t pretend you’re not enjoying this.” As he finished speaking, he thrust two fingers deep inside me.
The moan that escaped my chest was too telling of the truth I wanted to conceal. I was enjoying it. I just couldn’t admit to that, could I?
How weak would that make me?
“You know the words to say if you want me to stop,” Matt whispered against my ear. I hadn’t even noticed him standing back up.
“I’ve told you to stop.”
“You know those aren’t it. And we both know that means fuck all.”
“I’m not surrendering. I’m not weak like you.” I poked the already irate bear, wanting more of that primal Matt I was granted a glimpse at just a minute ago.
The sound of his belt unfastening had my body rushing in exhilaration, knowing what he was about to do. His zipper sounded as loud as a thousand guns going off, and I couldn’t help the anticipation that grew inside of me.
“Say it, or I’m fucking you.”
“Do your fucking worst.”
Before I could finish my last word, Matt slammed into me, and I swear I saw stars.
“Is this what you came here for? A last fuck with your ex-husband?” Matt was just as breathless as I was, and Jesus, the sound of lust in his voice was edging me just as much as his hard cock was.
“Fuck you.” I hissed.
I held onto the wall as Matt fucked me from behind, taking everything I had to give but never allowing me to step over the edge. Every time I came close to coming, he’d slow down and take it away.
“Oh my God!” I shouted in despair, frustration making me shake, “If you’re doing this, at least let me come.”
“Not a fucking chance. Not until you tell me why you came here. Not until you tell me no.” thrust, “One,” thrust, “Fucked.” thrust, “My pussy.”
He punctuated each word with a hard thrust, making my eyes roll to the back of my skull as my body slammed into the wall in front of me. And just at the last word, he pulled out.
I whimpered, and as soon as I heard myself, I wanted to kick my own ass for it.
Matt spun me around, and before I could speak, his lips were on mine again, devouring me with so much passion I could almost believe he still wanted me.
“Can you taste that? Hmm?” He asked between passionate kisses that borderlined on voracious consumption. I could taste myself on his tongue with each swipe against mine. “That’s the taste of what’s mine.”
“ I’m not.” I tried to protest.
I wasn’t. He’d made me leave. He’d pushed me to go. And still, here I was, out of my own free will, getting exactly what I’d come here for. That’s my fucking truth.
“That’s debatable. Now, on your knees.”
I searched his expression for a minute, Matt’s eyes darting down to the floor, making mine follow. I watched as he pumped his hard cock with his left hand, his pants hunched around his ankles, the muscles on his legs contracting with every thrust.
With his free hand, he gripped one of mine, replacing his hand on his cock with it.
“No past. No future. Just now, Gattina . We can leave tomorrow for tomorrow.”
Leave tomorrow for tomorrow. That sounded like threading a line I shouldn’t but wanted so damn much.
I swallowed hard before giving him a nod and kneeling as he’d ordered. And just like before, I fell into my role without having to think about it. Matt gave me a silent nod in permission, and I eagerly sunk his cock into my mouth.
“Jesus fuck.” Matt sucked in a breath, his pleasure hitting me straight in my clit. “I’ve missed that dirty mouth of yours.”
I followed the protruding vein from the base to the tip of his dick, relishing in the sounds he made before sucking him back into my mouth.
When I looked back up at him, his head was tilted back as he savored every minute. I waited for his eyes to meet mine and for the dirty smirk that I knew would follow.
A few seconds after, Matt looked down at me, swiping my hair to one side, admiring me as I sucked his cock as if it were the last time.
Because maybe it was. And deep down inside me, I wanted him to remember exactly how it felt.
“ Calmati, Piccola .” Slow down, Baby.
Those Italian words were too much for me to bear, so I took his cock out of my mouth and stood back up.
The lust that clouded Matt’s eyes had them shifting from gray to almost black. In one swift move, I was spun on my heels again and pushed up against the wall.
Not even a second later, Matt was back inside me, buried balls deep in my pussy.
“Say it, Francesca.”
“No.”
“Say no one fucked my pussy.”
He rammed hard into me. Harder than he ever had.
While one hand sank its fingers into the flesh on my hip, the other wrapped my hair in a tight grip, pulling my head back and making me arch my back further. I kept my silence, trapping a moan in my throat each time he tugged on my hair. Each time he pushed into me.
“Say it, or I’m gonna lose it.”
“No one…” I panted as he thrust harder into me, making my vision blur. “No one fucked me.”
“That’s it, that’s my good fucking girl.”
My pussy contracted at his praise, my orgasm starting to tear through me. I didn’t know how much I craved it until this very minute and wondered how I’d live the rest of my life without it. How could any other man compare to him?
The urge to come was just as raw as the urge to tell him this was a mistake. But it felt so fucking right, I allowed pleasure to overtake me.
“Oh my God.” I moaned as I came, harder than I ever had in my whole life, each of Matt’s grunts pushing me over that delicious edge.
As soon as I was coming down from my high, Matt pulled out and fucked his fist, bending me slightly before coating my skin in his cum.
Just as he’d done before, he smeared it all over my lower back before writing something against my skin. I was too scared to know what that was, because the first time around, it hit me too hard to miss. And just like that, all the pain he caused, even after promising me forever, came crashing like a ton of bricks.
“Are you done?”
“What?”
“Have you finished your fun?” I stood straight before turning around to face him. There was blood running down the length of his leg while it seemed hardly any of it ran through his cheeks.
Matt was as pale as a ghost.
I rushed to pull up his t-shirt, following the trail of blood that stained his skin.
“You’ve been shot.”
“Max didn’t do such a great job patching me up, after all.” He tried joking, but I couldn’t find a smile in me even if I’d eaten tickles for breakfast.
That explained the alcohol I smelled on his breath. The derision in his eyes. The impulse he hadn’t controlled.
And before I could hold him up, Matt’s knees gave way from underneath him, and we were both hitting the ground.