Chapter 25
Francesca
I left the meeting completely destroyed. Physically and emotionally. I couldn't believe Matt's words as they resounded in my head again, and again, and again.
Happily divorced
After everything that had happened between us, after everything that we shared, he still had the courage to vote me off, to dare try to take even this away from me. How could he be so cruel? Maybe this was just him showing his true colors. How could I have never seen him for who he really was?
I tried my best to keep a straight face and block him and his remarks out, but I was crumbling inside, dying a thousand deaths once again as he stabbed me with his sharp words.
Even though my uncle said he was in on his plan, it was hard to understand how and especially why he was saying such horrible things about me.
Was it possible that I truly meant that little to him? The last bit of hope I had died inside that damn conference room.
Or was this his way of doing exactly as I had asked him to, making me hate him?
Happily divorced.
I strode as confidently as possible out of that place, greeting the other Dons but wishing they would all disappear from my sight as they congratulated me on now being one of them.
In reality, I wasn’t one of them. I was me, and I didn’t intend on changing that for them. But now that I was in, I could rock the boat my own way and do what I thought was best for my family.
I finally broke free from the small talk and the introductions to sottocapi and consiglieri for each of them. I would have time for that during my Omertà. For now, I needed some space, I needed to breathe, I needed to get the hell out of there.
I could feel the same pressure from last night building inside me, and I knew it was going to happen again. My knees faltered as I walked as quickly as I could towards the bathroom before I felt an arm wrap around my waist, faintly holding me up.
“Alison…” I breathed in relief, my voice trailing off in weakness. “I… I need to…” I tried speaking again in a hushed exhale, quickening my pace to make it there on time.
“I know. Hurry up, let’s get you to the bathroom.” She replied, understanding my unspoken words.
She kicked the door open so we could both walk through just before I darted straight to one of the stalls, barely making it on time, emptying what little food I had in my system.
This whole ordeal was really taking a toll on my body. I had to leave this place as soon as possible. I need to get away from New York, away from Matt and his hurtful words.
I finally stopped throwing up, managing to stumble towards the row of sinks to wash my face and mouth. Each breath came heavy as I tried to refocus my blurry vision clouded by the tears I held back.
Alison handed me a bottle of Gatorade she fished from her huge handbag, making me quizzically look at her before slowly sipping on it.
“Are you feeling better?”
Alison rubbed soothing circles on my back as I held on to the marble counter, her eyes locked on mine through the mirror.
“I... I think so.” I wearily replied, not absolutely sure it was over. “Lucky me, you had a drink with electrolytes in your bag, just waiting to save the day.”
“I met Victor for a training session today,” She replied with a light giggle to my joke.
I raised my eyebrows, wiggling them with a slick grin on my face, trying my best to focus on something other than my churning stomach.
“Okay, okay. Hold your panties. Let’s turn this back to you, shall we? Maybe now we can talk about these nausea waves you've been having,” She said, a stern but worried frown covering her features as she carried on regarding me through the mirror.
“What about them? I think it might be something we ate yesterday.”
“Yeah... I don't think that's it.” She was still staring at me, waiting for some reaction. “Have you really not thought of any other more plausible cause for you to be feeling like this?” She had her arms now crossed in front of her chest.
“None that I want to entertain,” I bluntly replied as Alison huffed in frustration.
“You’re taking a pregnancy test today. I’ll be right by your side.” There was no question in her statement, and by the look on her face and the terror in mine, we both knew the probability of a positive was too high to ignore.
I exhaled in defeat, both denial and realization hitting me like a train on a freaking oiled track. The thought had crossed my mind yesterday, but I was convincing myself there were a ton of other good reasons for me to be feeling like this.
“From what I’m seeing, we will just be confirming what we both already know.”
“It can't be, right? I mean, I wouldn't be feeling like this only a month in. Plus, I have an IUD.” I tried reasoning, more with myself than with her. This would be the worst timing in the world for this to happen. I'm sure it's just something I ate or the stress of being back in New York.
“When was your last period?” I started thinking back, and the exact date was a little blurry, but that was normal since I never really kept track.
My body always gave me the signs to recognize Aunt Flow’s arrival before she was here, so I never stressed over it, until now.
“Hum... About a month ago, give or take. It should be due any day now, I’m sure. So what you're implying is completely impossible. I would never be feeling this bad if I were a month pregnant. It hasn’t been more than a month. I’m sure. I’m sure.” I chuckled, not exactly feeling any of the amusement. “It’s impossible. Right?” I asked, looking for any confirmation from Alison that could ease my worries right now.
“I wouldn't be so sure, Dear,” Alison replied, stroking my hair as a tear fell from my eye at the likely possibility of her being right. “Let's go get you that test. We can take it at Liam's. We had prepared a small celebration dinner for you tonight in case things went favorably. It was supposed to be a surprise, but we have more important things to focus on right now.”
“Oh my God, Alison! What am I going to do?” I asked as desperation started to creep up on me.
“First, we are going to confirm our suspicions, and then we can go from there, okay? There's no use in dwelling on it without knowing for sure. And if you are pregnant, it's a blessing, Francesca. That child will be loved, adored, and protected like no other if you decide to follow through. I am here to help you every step of the way, okay?” She tried to ease my worries.
“But... This is not the right time... Not with how things are with your brother. Oh my God.” I crumbled again, letting my head fall forward while I held my eyes shut tight.
“Francesca, Matt loves you. He always has loved you. He had his reasons to do what he did. Not that I agree, but he had your best interest at heart. He did it for you. He wanted you to have it all. He wanted to give you your dream of becoming the head of a family. He saw how happy you were when you were leading his business and how much you thrived. He divorced you so you could have as much of a fair shot as possible at it. From the little he explained, you two couldn’t be married if you were to be even considered. He divorced you so you could have your dream come true, so you could have it all.” I just stood there taking in her words that glued all the stray pieces of this endless puzzle back together, but instead of bringing me closure and relief, it brought me more pain and anger.
“I had it all, Alison! Matt was my dream. And now look at me. Divorced, heartbroken, and probably pregnant.” I shouted in both indignation and anguish.
“I still have faith that things can work out between you two.”
“I don't think so, Al. Your brother just told a room full of the most powerful men how happily divorced he is,” I replied, angry tears trailing down my cheeks.
“That's a lie, Francesca, and you know it. He said what he had to say to get you that seat. I know for a fact that that is the biggest lie he ever told in his whole life. He's been miserable without you, but he’s living with the consequences of his choices because he decided that you deserved the world. That you deserved all you ever wanted. He divorced you so you could have a shot at your dream, Francesca. Not because he didn't love you. He did it for you.”
“That can't be.” I forced myself not to believe. I couldn’t be fooled a third time.
“It's true. This is the whole truth. He needed you to hate him so that all that happened in that room today was real. These are smart men, and they could easily see through his plan if he had told you the truth. I am not saying he was right. I'm saying his heart was in the right place, even though I felt like punching him in the face.”
“I'm not sure that changes anything. Your brother did the exact same thing again. He didn’t ask me if this was what I wanted and just decided to make my choices for me. I forgave him the first and second times, when he swapped places with Liam, and then when he purposely forgot to tell me that Jamie was an Amato. I'm not sure I can forgive him a third time.”
“Okay, I hate kicking you when you’re down, but I don’t see you getting up from your spot any time soon, so the floor is all we’ve got. I’m not going to sugarcoat it because you don’t need me to. You just need a different perspective right now. You made a choice. You chose to sign those papers. To be fair, you can't say he chose to sign them for you. I’m not saying you are to blame, and I don’t want to put salt in your wounds. But just think about that before you decide if you can forgive him one day or not.” I just stood there, waiting for my soul to return to my body as Alison’s words sunk in.
“He blackmailed me into signing them.”
“Still your choice not to call his bluff.”
I felt a new wave of nausea invade me, making me return to the stall. I wasn’t sure this time it was from whatever condition I was in, or from the unbearable truth behind Alison's words. They shattered the strong case I had internally built against Matt and what he had done.
She was right, though. I didn't fight. Not like someone who believed he loved me would have.
I resigned and signed those papers instead of pushing back and believing that he truly loved me, just as he had said before leaving that night. Just as he had shown me.
I pulled myself together once more, washing my face and mouth again before smoothing out the wrinkles in my dress, inhaling deeply as if oxygen was the courage I needed.
“Come on, let’s get you out of here. Let's go find you some answers.” Alison said, reassuring me with a small smile.
“Yeah, let’s. I just need to call my brother. I was supposed to meet him today after the meeting.”
“Oh! I didn’t know you had plans already. But he’s welcome to join us for dinner, too, if you want. It's your celebration, after all.”
“That would be great. I would love for him to meet Jamie before I leave. He loved Amelia so much, and knowing we have another cousin somehow eases the burden a little. Are you sure you don't mind?”
“Not at all. Your brothers were all very pleasant and fun at... Your wedding.” She slowly trailed off as I could see her virtually inserting her foot in her mouth, probably thinking that talking about that day would just make this all that much worse for me.
“It's okay,” I reassured her. “Tommy wasn't at my wedding. He was... Out of the country at the time.” It wasn't a lie. It was a partial truth.
“Oh, okay. Then even better. Call him, we can send him the address, and he can meet us at Liam's. But before we go there, we are buying you a pregnancy test. Or two, just to be safe.”