Chapter 9 #2
The conversation showed Elizabeth a new trait of Lady Kendal’s character.
Her determination, persistence, and power were impressive and allowed no contradiction.
In a certain way, she reminded Elizabeth of Lady Catherine, except Lady Kendal’s purpose and the reasons behind her obstinacy were utterly different and completely thoughtful.
In the carriage, once they had finally completed their duties and were returning home, Elizabeth still had many questions to address.
“We offer care and assistance to everyone who asks for it, but we can only afford to host those who are in a serious state,” Lady Kendal explained.
“I would like to have more space, more doctors, more means—but for the time being, this is what we can do. With God’s will, we shall open two more hospitals in the countryside. ”
“This is truly impressive. It is a gesture of greatness to take care of so many people,” Elizabeth said with the deepest admiration.
“Not at all, my dear. We only try to cure those who can be healed. It is a better use of money than to gamble it on cards or to waste it in stupid wars. Forgive me, I am not a supporter of men’s pugnacious interests.”
“Are there other ladies who support your charitable causes?” Elizabeth asked.
“Yes, around twenty, including the patronesses of Almack’s.
All their portraits are in the main hall.
I wish everybody to be aware of their generosity.
We also receive some financial contributions from His Majesty.
But the hard work—the responsibility for keeping everything properly managed and providing the necessary funds—belongs to us. And soon to you, my dear.”
“I am still astonished that you are relying on me to continue your work—that you chose me and trusted me to rise to such high expectations.”
“My dear Elizabeth, it is not a matter of choice. You were the only one to whom I even considered making such a proposal. You see, my dear, all these duties require tremendous effort and dedication. And I can think of nobody from my distant relatives or from the young ladies I am acquainted with that would commit to such daunting burdens. They have not enough willingness, devotion, strength or wisdom to carry such a burden. You have it all.”
Elizabeth smiled nervously. “I am not as confident as your ladyship, but my willingness and devotion you must not doubt.”
“I do not. But at times, I worry Mr Darcy is right.”
Elizabeth’s heart skipped a beat, and she felt her cheeks burning. “About what?” she eventually asked.
“About his concern that I am taking the weight from my shoulders and throwing it upon yours. That I am benefiting from your kind heart. That in fact I allowed you no choice. I asked for your approval, but I put you in a position that made it impossible for you to refuse my proposal.”
Elizabeth felt chills slip down her spine.
“Mr Darcy is a considerate friend. He has knowledge and wisdom gained over the years since he took full responsibility for his fortune and his family. I appreciate his concern, and I admit his worry is legitimate, but, as I said, I entered into this engagement with my heart and mind open.”
“Very well, my dear. I am relieved to hear that. Please tell me, were Mr Darcy’s notes useful to you?”
Elizabeth blushed again. She had read the papers countless times only to allow her eyes to savour his handwriting.
It was the same script she recollected from the Hunsford letter but less nervous, more confident, and more organised.
On the first reading, she neither comprehended nor remembered anything.
Then slowly, as her nerves settled, the words started to become meaningful.
“Yes, very much so. I thought that if we increased the earnings from the county estates we could support more patients. Of course, I do not know how we might do that—not yet.”
“You may ask Darcy how he grew the profits from his properties. Then you might decide whether we can apply those same methods to ours too,” Lady Kendal said.
“I do not like to bother Mr Darcy more than necessary. He has his own duties already. But I will do so if I must. My uncle and Charles may speak to him on my behalf,” Elizabeth said.
“I see you and Darcy are still uncomfortable working together. Is this because he refused to dance with you?” Lady Kendal enquired. Elizabeth stared at her in disbelief for a moment, then laughed heartily.
“Who could have told your ladyship such a story? You have not met my mother yet, so I suppose it must have been Charles?”
“Indeed,” her ladyship admitted with amusement, and Elizabeth laughed again.
“No, that is not the reason. That first incident was unfortunate, and I confess to being angry with Mr Darcy. He was haughty and insensitive to my family and many other families in Meryton when he stayed at Netherfield. But then I acted carelessly and offensively myself. I readily listened to malicious reports about Mr Darcy from a former acquaintance of his. I believed them, and I even confronted Mr Darcy, accusing him of ruining that man’s life.
Which was far from the truth, as I painfully learnt soon enough.
We both behaved at our worst when we first met.
But as I said, my relationship with Mr Darcy has improved significantly in the last year.
Although yes, we are still uncomfortable in each other’s company. ”
“Oh dear, it seems a serious matter,” Lady Kendal uttered.
Elizabeth cleared her throat. “It was. But Mr Darcy is Charles’s closest friend, and he was supportive of his marriage to my sister. Furthermore, he invited them to Pemberley and encouraged his sister’s friendship with us. So he is almost family now.”
“I see… Still, in my opinion he is a strange gentleman. Exceptional in many ways but difficult to relate to. I cannot imagine the terms of his friendship with Bingley.”
“It might appear so in the beginning. But Mr Darcy is the sort of gentleman who improves on better acquaintance,” Elizabeth said.
“As for their friendship, I know Charles values it as much as Mr Darcy. And speaking of Charles, he is the sort of gentleman who always makes an excellent first impression.” Elizabeth skilfully changed the delicate subject.
“Indeed, and so does Jane. Upon my word, her beauty is just what poets describe. They look so lovely together. God has been very good to them.”
Elizabeth nodded silently. She remembered the day she had first read Darcy’s letter, then Bingley’s sudden return to Netherfield. His influence in both separating and reuniting them was essential.
“You know, Elizabeth, for years I was angry with God. I had lost so much that everything I was given meant little. So many in my family were gone too soon while others, who deserve no better, live long and easy lives. Over the years, I looked around more carefully and realised suffering was everywhere, both seen and hidden. Whilst my fortune came through inheritance, I learned that I could put it to good use. I understood that one can eat only so much, can wear only so many gowns, and can live in only so many houses. It gave me much more joy and gratification to give than to receive.”
Elizabeth listened in awe. Lady Kendal never ceased to surprise or impress her.
“When Philip fell ill, I ripped God out of my heart. I cried and fought with Him every night. I felt like He was giving me more than I could bear. That He wished to break my spirit. I challenged His plans and His will. But then, one day, I happened into a hospital and discovered a new, darker side of grief and pain. And so, my two hospitals came to life.”
Now tearful, Elizabeth took her ladyship’s hands to comfort her. She found nothing to say—how could she? Coming from a large, healthy family, all their previous reasons for distress appeared trivial and groundless.
Lady Kendal smiled at her. “But now, I have made peace with the Lord and with myself. Especially since He brought you to us, my dear. Because of you, I am confident my work has a future. And because of you, Philip feels the taste of joy and happiness again. I cannot foresee his future, but his present is much better than I hoped for only a few months ago. However long or short his life may be, you have enriched it.”
“Your ladyship gives me too much credit,” Elizabeth replied in a trembling voice. “I did nothing more than what I felt. Philip has a special place in my heart, and so do you. I feel privileged to be close to you.”
“As do I… My greatest fear now is—” Lady Kendal stopped suddenly and, with a small gesture of her hand, she interrupted the conversation and turned to look outside.
“What is it, my lady? Please let me know. You must not conceal anything from me.”
“My dear,” Lady Kendal reluctantly continued, “I do not for a moment doubt your devotion and loyalty. But you must know that if something happens and we lose you—if Philip loses you—he would not have the strength to overcome such sorrow.”
Elizabeth smiled with all her heart. “Such a worry you may easily dismiss. It is not even worth speaking of, as it could never happen.”
“Thank you, dearest,” Lady Kendal whispered, bringing Elizabeth’s hands to her heart.
Moments later, she regained her composure and asked the coachman to change direction.
“I almost forgot—we must stop at the modiste. I ordered some presents for your sisters and mother. And for you. Nothing much, only some bonnets and reticules and some light gowns for the summer. Now would be a convenient time to collect them.”
Elizabeth shook her head in disapproval, trying to oppose her ladyship, but soon abandoned the attempt. It was Lady Kendal’s small pleasure, and any argument was futile.
“I hope you and your family will enjoy staying in Brighton for the summer,” Lady Kendal uttered. “The Gardiners are delighted, that I know.”
“My mother and younger sisters would like nothing better,” Elizabeth declared. “And even Papa might like reading in the sea breeze.”
“What about you, my dear?”
Elizabeth hesitated a moment, fighting some unexpected grip in her chest.
“I have adored the sea from the moment I laid eyes on it as a child. I always dreamt of spending more time at the seaside, and now you have given me the chance to do so. I am sure I shall be happy in Brighton,” Elizabeth concluded, the grip still lingering in her heart.