Chapter 19
Darcy took her in his arms and, before she had time to blink, he had lifted her up into the saddle. She gasped and gripped the horse’s mane. The stallion stood still, awaiting his master.
A small squeak escaped her when the horse moved, then she felt Darcy pull himself into the saddle behind her. His arms closed around her, and her hands slipped around his waist.
“Do not worry, I have you,” he whispered.
Elizabeth allowed her eyes to become enchanted by the night sky, feeling safe in his embrace. From his arms, the view looked larger, more stunning, more beautiful. It was like she could touch the stars.
Darcy urged the horse on, and she tightened her hold on his waist.
He led the horse along the line of trees, then towards the water. Thunder broke into a trot, splashing the salty water onto Elizabeth’s face. The feeling was exquisite, and Elizabeth closed her eyes, leaning her head against Darcy’s chest.
“Will you not open your eyes, Elizabeth?”
She quivered at the sound of her name on his lips, withdrawing enough to look at him.
The horse ran through the water, like he was stepping on the stars.
Elizabeth turned to look ahead. Slowly, she let go of his waist. Her thigh was pressing against Darcy’s leg, and his arms provided her with enough support.
She did trust him, so she freed her hands and placed them over his, around her.
With delight and astonishment, she felt his fingers entwining with hers.
“Should we ride faster?” She nodded, and he spurred the horse on. Immediately, the trot turned into a gallop. There was no fear, no restraint remaining in her heart, only pure joy and her trust in him.
Before she realised, they had reached the bay. But they did not stop. The horse carried them onwards, through the water, along the shore, into the darkness.
Eventually, Darcy slowed the stallion, allowing him to walk, to rest.
Elizabeth turned to him; his dark stare penetrated her soul, and his embrace made her dizzy. She looked at him, waiting.
He hesitated, then his head leant towards her, slowly.
Mesmerised, she closed her eyes and felt his breath on her face.
Her heart stopped, still waiting. After an unbearably long moment, his lips brushed over hers, as gentle and as soft as the touch of a feather.
Tender kisses tantalised her face, then found their way back to her lips and lingered there.
“Should we return?” he asked.
She nodded. “We should.”
“Do you trust me?”
She looked at him in puzzlement. “You know I do. Could there be any more proof of my faith in you than my being here?” she teased back, flushed.
“Very well.”
With the deepest shock, she felt him pulling up her gown and petticoat.
She frowned and stared at his strange smile as he lifted her right leg over the saddle, placing her astride. She was now turned with her back to him, her legs uncovered to her knees. She felt embarrassed, alarmed, but at once lively and excited as she understood his meaning.
“Take the reins,” he whispered over her shoulder, his lips brushing her earlobe.
She turned to him, hesitant, and in doing so, her lips met his. Neither withdrew. He caressed her face and her neck, then she tasted the flavour of his mouth. She sighed, while an unknown bliss enveloped her.
“Take the reins,” he said again. “You only have to pull gently, and Thunder will understand what you wish. And use your legs to tell him to go faster. Press your legs into him. Your wish is his command. And mine.”
His hands brushed down from her thighs over her legs, to place them on the horse’s flank. His touch weakened her, burning her skin. A quiver shattered her, and she leant back until she pressed against his torso.
“Tell him,” Darcy whispered. He was determined to allow her to lead and control the horse, to control the way and the direction they both moved. She felt his intention, understood his meaning, and his gesture made her confident.
“Will you hold me? I am a little afraid.”
“I shall hold you. You must not fear—I shall not let you fall. But I trust your strength. You will conquer this.”
His hands encircled her waist, and she took the reins again. Hesitantly, she squeezed the horse with her legs, and Thunder moved forward. Darcy did not say a word.
Fearful at first, she pulled the reins right and left, until Thunder made a complete turn, then she led him to the shore. For a while, they walked steadily, while both Elizabeth and the stallion became accustomed to each other.
“He is so beautiful! And strong but gentle,” she exclaimed.
“He is as you wish him to be.”
They rode in silence for a while, then she suddenly pressed her legs into the horse, and he increased their pace. She held the reins tightly, her legs gripping the horse’s flanks, the wind in her face. The power she felt controlling such a powerful animal was intoxicating.
“I want to go faster,” Elizabeth declared.
“Do whatever you wish. As I said once, I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours, Miss Bennet.”
She began to laugh aloud, openly joyful, free. Then she leant into the horse.
“Come, Thunder! Let us run!”
Instantly the stallion obeyed, and Elizabeth felt like they were flying.
Sitting in the arms of the man she loved, Elizabeth experienced the most blissful moments she could remember, witnessing and sharing his exultation.
He gradually loosened the grip of his hands around her waist and withdrew back an inch, until their bodies did not touch.
She was truly free, by herself, using her own strength.
She did not need his support, but it was enough to know his protection was near.
Eventually, they arrived back at the bay, and Elizabeth stopped the horse at the place where they had previously met. It was very late, and they should have returned home long ago. But he had allowed her the power to decide and lead. And so she had.
“We should rest a little,” she proposed. “Thunder must be tired. Would you not agree?”
“Thunder is not tired, but a little rest would be welcome.” He dismounted and helped her down, then pulled a bottle of water from his saddle bag. He first offered it to Elizabeth. She thanked him and drank from the bottle, then he drank too, his lips touching the place where hers had been.
Elizabeth watched him, mesmerised. Each of his gestures showed more of his character, of his tenderness, of his caring and generous nature. Everything she had failed to see for so long.
“Should we sit?” He spread the blanket on the spot where she had once fallen asleep. But she walked towards the sea and remained standing there, still. He approached her.
“What do you want?” he asked.
“Do you know how much you have already done for me tonight? You have taught me to do what I thought I would never have the courage to attempt. I would have never done that with any other man.”
“May I call you Elizabeth? If only for tonight?”
“And I shall call you Fitzwilliam. Until dawn.”
She was the one who took his hands and brought them to her heart. Then she turned towards the sea and wrapped his arms around her. She was back in his embrace and did not want to leave. Not yet.
“Elizabeth…what I told you earlier, does that not change anything? At all?”
“What could it change, Fitzwilliam?”
“I know you would not break your promise, but I still pray for a miracle. Tonight, I tasted happiness, and I know I shall never feel it again without you, Elizabeth.”
“There can be no miracle. We both know that. I would do anything for your happiness if it were in my power. It is not about my pride in keeping my word but about not hurting a worthy man and a good woman who have placed their faith in me! You are the most honourable man I know. Could you be happy knowing I betrayed their trust?”
“I know you would never be happy if you betrayed them. Do you think you could be happy in your marriage?”
“I would be satisfied knowing I had done my duty. Not the sort of felicity I feel with you. But I did know that when I accepted Philip. They were both honest with me. I knew he would never be my husband in essentials but an affectionate companion and friend that needs me. His life would depend on me.”
Some of her words struck him.
“Were you thinking of me when you accepted the arrangement?”
“I have been thinking of you every day since I left Rosings. I attempted to speak to you at Pemberley, but you were already engaged, and then you left.”
“I was certain you despised me then! That you hated me still and that you were only trying to apologise, to repay me for encouraging Bingley to return. Dear Lord, this cannot be. We could have been happy for such a long while, and I destroyed all our hopes. I ruined our lives.”
She turned to face him and silenced him with her fingers. “You must not say that. It was Fate that intervened, perhaps. Nobody knew what would happen. I do not pity myself, nor you. Perhaps it was meant for us to trade our happiness for that of others.”
She rose up onto her toes, caressing his face.
“My love,” he whispered, with all the longing in his soul. “Please let me call you so.”
“I shall call you my love too. And I shall never call any other by that name! If I cannot have the future I desire, I can live in the present. With you.”
Darcy frowned, struggling to understand her meaning.
“There have been several things I have secretly wished to do for a long while, but I abandoned any hope of accomplishing them. One was riding.”
“And the others?”
She lifted her head to him, parting her lips, closing her eyes.
He yearned to kiss her again, but instead he caressed her hair, slowly pulling out the pins, allowing her hair to fall around her shoulders. She opened her eyes to meet his, then closed them again. His fingers glided through her heavy locks, and he kissed her tenderly.
“What are the other things, Elizabeth?”