22. Hayden
22
HAYDEN
T he promise I’d made to Hawk at the restaurant hadn’t been something I’d planned. It hadn’t even been something I’d really thought about. He was being a dick, and throwing him off guard just brought out a sick sort of pleasure in me.
He was so up in his head all the time. Guy just needed to chill the fuck out.
He made pushing his buttons too easy, and I was asshole enough to keep hitting them.
I’d had no intention of going to his room.
I knew he’d lock the door, because no matter how much he denied being a homophobe, he was scared as fuck of the attraction between us.
I wasn’t scared. Surprised. Intrigued maybe. But not fucking scared.
Until I thought about actually going down to his room. Turning the handle.
And the one-percent chance it might actually be unlocked.
Then a breathless sort of feeling came over me that could have been terror…or it could have been desire.
I’d ignored it all night, staying in my room, giving Hayley Jade and Kara the time they needed together. I tried to read a book, but the words kept swimming across the page, my brain too distracted to focus.
I’d gone to sleep early but had woken up hourly, getting more and more frustrated, until it was damn near three and I couldn’t stand lying there a second longer.
I got up and on silent feet crossed the door to my room and opened it, stepping out into the silent, darkened common area. On instinct, I checked Hayley Jade’s and Kara’s doors. Both were closed.
As was Hawk’s.
Not that I was looking at his room.
I was just getting water. Or tea. Or I didn’t know fucking what from the kitchen. Something that would make me sleepy enough that I could stop thinking about going to Hawk’s bedroom.
Maybe a fistful of sleeping tablets, because I doubted anything else was going to get him off my brain.
I tried to force my feet in the direction of the kitchen. I swear, I told those bastards to go that way.
And yet I found myself moving to Hawk’s door, knowing it would be locked, but at least he’d be asleep and wouldn’t have the glory of knowing.
My fingers shook, hovering over his handle, and I fought the desire to touch it. “Just fucking walk away, you idiot,” I muttered so quietly it was almost just mouthing the words.
If he was awake and saw me try it, I’d never fucking live it down.
And yet, my stupid fingers twisted the handle anyway.
I waited for the stop of the lock.
It didn’t come.
The handle turned in my grip, and the door opened.
Holy fucking shit.
Hawk lay in his bed, sleeping. His chest rose and fell, pale moonlight streaming in from the window, lighting up the thick biceps and his bare, chiseled chest.
I should have turned around. Walked away. Taken the silent victory and gone back to my room to sleep.
But I didn’t.
I slipped inside the room, closing the door behind me.
Locking it.
Not sure whether I wanted him to wake up or not. I had no idea what I was fucking doing. Only that my dick was hard at the sight of him and I wanted to do this.
He did too, if he’d left his door unlocked.
Fuck.
I stopped thinking. Just let my body take over.
I silently crossed the room, standing over him, watching him sleep for a second. I should have woken him, except the thought of it was painful. He’d open his mouth and say something dumb, and I just didn’t want to hear it.
What I wanted was him.
I pulled back the covers, letting out a tiny groan when he was naked, and it was close enough to sunrise that his dick was hard with morning wood.
My own erection stretched my sweatpants, an aching need building inside me. As quietly as possible, I knelt on the edge of the bed, leaning across the open space to where Hawk was sprawled out in the middle of the mattress.
I took his dick in my mouth.
There’d been vague attractions to men in my past, a sneaky kiss and a grope one night in a gay bar I’d gotten roped into going to with a friend. But I’d never sucked another guy off before. So the feel of his thick erection in my mouth was unfamiliar but not unpleasant. In fact, as his cock filled my mouth, my own erection thickened in the same way it did when I went down on Kara.
I had no idea what I was doing, except I knew what I liked when women blew me. So I relied on that knowledge, licking and sucking the head of his cock until he stirred in the darkness.
“Kara,” he murmured, his hand coming to the back of my head sleepily.
I froze, not knowing whether I should say something or just keep sucking him off, letting him think I was the curvy woman who was currently asleep next door.
But then Hawk froze too.
The room wasn’t so dark our gazes didn’t collide when I looked up along his abs and chest to meet his eyes.
He knew I wasn’t her. We both fucking knew it.
Just like we both knew he’d left that door unlocked on purpose.
He pushed down on my head, forcing me to take his cock deep.
I gave up any pretense of being quiet and moaned when the tip of him hit the back of my throat. I gripped his base with my hand and then licked up his shaft before plunging onto it again. His fingers tangled in my hair, fisting the shoulder-length strands, and guiding my head up and down, his hips driving up to thrust into my mouth.
My dick ached with the need to be touched. Moisture beaded at my tip, probably leaving a wet patch on my sweats, but all I could concentrate on was Hawk’s green-eyed gaze, staring at me while I blew him, sucked him, brought him closer and closer to an orgasm while he lay naked in his bed.
His hips moved faster, so I did too. He tasted like sin and sugar all in one, so fucking different to Kara’s sweet honey but no less addictive. I wanted to stroke my dick. Jerk it in the same time he fucked my mouth, but I didn’t want to miss the way his eyes rolled back, or the way he hissed in pleasure with every long lick of the thick vein in the underside of his cock.
“Need to come,” he bit out in guttural tones that did things to my insides. “You swallow, Chaos?”
For him, I fucking would.
I didn’t say anything. Just took his dick deeper, faster, grabbed his balls until he was bucking off the bed, fucking me as much as I was fucking him.
He groaned loudly, coming hard, hot spurts shooting down the back of my throat, taking me by surprise. But I refused to fucking give him the satisfaction of choking. Or spitting, even though the taste wasn’t exactly what I’d been expecting either. Our gazes met again as I swallowed him down, licking his cock until every last drop was gone and he was moaning about being too sensitive and begging me to stop.
He lay back on the bed like a starfish, legs spread, one arm over his eyes. His chest heaved, his dick glistening in the moonlight and still wet from my mouth.
He was so fucking hot like that, his body all muscles and tattoos.
I moved for the door, fingers wrapping around the handle.
“Where are you going?” His voice was husky and hoarse.
So damn fucking hot I knew I was going back to my room to jack off over him.
I didn’t say anything. What was there to say? I’d snuck into his room in the middle of the night and sucked his dick, just like I’d promised.
Nothing else was part of the deal.
“Go back to sleep, Hawk. In the morning, we’ll pretend this didn’t happen.”
Hawk swung his legs out of bed, and without an ounce of shame over being naked in front of me, he crossed the room, stopping in front of me.
My gaze searched his face, unable to read him, getting nothing from his expression.
All I had to go on was how fucking close he stood. And how he’d participated in that blow job just as much as I had.
“This where you kiss me goodbye?” I asked him. “I’m not your girlfriend. I don’t need that from you.”
“Good,” he said darkly. “I don’t need that from you either.”
His gaze flickered over mine.
“What then, Hawk?” I whispered. “What the fuck do you want? To punch me in the face? Tell me you don’t want me?” I breathed out slowly. “Or for me to sneak in here during the night and secretly blow you?” I swallowed thickly and then let out the truth. It was the middle of the night, and it was dark, and if secrets were going to come out, now was the time. “Because I don’t regret what I just did.”
His chest heaved with a shuddering breath. “Then stop fucking talking and let me do the same for you.”
He dropped to the floor, kneeling at my feet, and groped my erection through my pants.
I groaned, reaching down to give one hard tug on my drawstring, loosening them so he could drag them down my hips.
I was already so fucking hard for him, and he didn’t hesitate, opening his mouth and fitting it over my cock.
I groaned at the warm, wet feel of his mouth, and then again when he cupped my balls, playing with them with one hand while his other held my base. He sucked the tip of me and stroked my shaft with solid, regular movements, lubed up by my arousal and his saliva.
“I don’t know what I’m fucking doing,” he admitted between sucks and licks. “Tell me if it’s not good.”
I scraped my nails over the cropped hair on his head, pulling it back so he had to look at me. “Your fucking mouth is on my cock. Everything is good. Anything. Just don’t stop.”
He started up again, plunging his mouth over my dick, stretching his lips wide, taking me deeper with each thrust of my hips. I fought to grab the back of his head, wanting to fuck his mouth fast and hard, but he’d been way more in the closet about whatever this was between us, and fuck me, I didn’t want to push him further than he was comfortable with. Despite what he thought of me, I wasn’t an asshole.
When he pushed my thighs farther apart and lowered his mouth to lick my balls, I damn near came on the spot.
“Fuck,” I groaned, watching his face press between my legs and him suck one ball at a time into his mouth like a goddamn fucking pro. “Fuck, don’t stop.”
His hand pumped my dick and he buried his face between my legs, sucking my balls better than any woman ever had.
Because he knew what it felt like. He knew how it brought an all-new feeling to a blow job that was already out of this world, just because the person you wanted was down on their knees, letting you have full control over them.
“You gonna swallow, Hawk?” I asked him the same question he’d asked me.
I held the back of his head, encouraging him more than forcing him, but letting him know all the same what I wanted. “I want to come in your mouth.”
“Then fucking get it over with,” he grumbled between sucks and licks.
I smiled into the darkness, the tone in his voice clear he wanted to do it and I wasn’t forcing him.
Even if he was going to pretend he didn’t want to know what I tasted like.
“Jerk your cock,” I demanded.
“Fuck you,” he responded. “Kara might like being bossed around in bed. Doesn’t mean I do.”
I laughed into the darkness. “Fuck your hand, Hawk. You know you’re hard and dripping for me again.”
“I hate you,” he muttered.
“Try saying that again when your mouth isn’t full of my dick.”
I shut him up by slamming past his lips, hitting the back of his throat and earning myself a moan.
Despite himself, he fisted his cock, stroking himself in the same rhythm I set on his tongue, both of us getting faster and faster until my balls drew up and I couldn’t control it anymore. I came with a shout, his name on my lips, which earned me a filthy look, even though he couldn’t say anything because his mouth was full of my cum.
His splashed over my feet, a sticky mess, his groans of pleasure only vibrating around my dick and making my orgasm all the better for it.
I slumped back against the wall and watched him finish, licking me until I was limp in his mouth, completely drained and one-hundred-percent spent.
He rocked back on his heels and pushed to his feet.
We were both sweaty, hot messes, his cum all over his hand.
We stared at each other.
He was the first to speak. “You fucking shot me.”
I rolled my eyes. “I also just gave you the best blow job of your life.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You think highly of yourself.”
“Then tell me I’m not right?”
“You can go now.”
I reached for the door. “Oh, trust me, I am.”
“I still hate you. This changes nothing.”
I sniggered as I left. “You just came twice. Once in my mouth. You want to know what you taste like?”
He closed the door in my face.
I went back to my room with a grin on mine.