21. Hawk
21
HAWK
A fter Chaos disappeared into his bedroom with a smug grin on his stupid face, I paced the short length of mine for hours. It was a total of five steps in any direction, and I’d done so many about-faces I was dizzy.
I’d watched the door like a hawk all evening, the lock firmly in place so Hayden could choke on his own words when he twisted the handle and nothing happened.
Sit on that and twist. He thought he knew me so fucking well.
He knew nothing.
So what if I wanted to watch him fuck Kara? So what if the idea of the two of them got me hot? I was a guy. I liked porn as much as anyone, and seeing the woman I found most attractive in the entire world getting railed by a guy who looked like him was straight out of any man’s fantasies.
Wasn’t it?
War and Bliss fucked around while Scythe and Vincent and Nash watched. We all did it. I’d probably fucked more women in the common room at the clubhouse than I had in my bedroom.
Maybe we all just shared a public sex kink. Or we were all equally messed up in the head.
It didn’t matter. Despite what Hayden had promised earlier that day at Sinners, he wasn’t coming.
He was full of shit.
When the clock hit midnight, I gave up waiting for my moment of victory and took a shower. I soaped myself from head to toe, scrubbing my skin until it was pink, and then got out, toweling off. Naked, I padded across the room to my bed and got beneath the covers, pulling them up over me.
I closed my eyes and tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. But every time I did, I ended up lying on my side, watching the door. I screwed my face up, ignoring the urge to stroke my cock.
After another thirty minutes of frustration, I got up and twisted the motherfucking lock to open.
He wasn’t coming anyway. So it didn’t matter.
It was hours until I fell asleep.
When I finally did, it was with a bitter sense of disappointment.