Chapter 20
Twenty
Rami took a lot longer than two minutes, but Skye knew he probably needed the time to gather himself. Rami had damn near fallen apart during his last orgasm. It was powerful in ways Skye had never seen before, not in his long years of working as an escort and seeing all sorts of people in all sorts of emotional situations.
Tears had slipped from the corners of Rami’s eyes, but Skye didn’t panic. His face was full of joy and ecstasy, and his kisses were sloppy and happy when it was all over. So he took his time making sure he had all their supplies ready, and he made sure the camera was where it should be.
He was going to fuck Rami in his chair. The plan was for him to be seated when the camera came on, and then Rami would walk into the frame like he always did. After that, they left it unscripted. Rami wanted it to feel real, and Skye understood.
There was less weight to it now that Skye had fingered his boyfriend. He knew what he felt like deep inside him. He knew what Rami’s body did when Skye stroked his prostate and what he looked like when he came from having something of Skye’s filling him.
The mystery was gone, but for the first time ever, that wasn’t a bad thing.
Out of his periphery, Skye saw the bathroom door open, and Rami appeared. He was moving a little slow, but there was no hesitation in his body. He just looked tired.
“You know you can tell your audience that you need another day, right?” Skye said.
Rami frowned, then shook his head. “No. I want this right now. I don’t want to wait another night to have you inside me.”
Skye shivered, his cock growing thicker. He waited until Rami was just close enough, and then he snagged him by the waist. “Kiss me and tell me you love me before we have to turn this damn camera on.”
Rami smiled and dipped his head low. His lips barely touched Skye’s, but he spoke loud enough for Skye to hear him. “I love you.” And then he kissed him until Skye’s toes curled.
They couldn’t linger. Rami had to pull back, adjust Skye until the only thing in the frame was his chest, legs, and cock, and then he turned him slightly sideways so the camera would be able to get the angle that allowed everyone to see Skye’s cock sinking deep into Rami’s ass.
And as Skye held his breath, Rami stepped to the side, then reached over and clicked a few buttons. The monitor buffered, and then suddenly, Skye could see himself on the screen. For a moment, he felt a rush of panic, but then he remembered he was safe. He was with Rami. No one would recognize him who hadn’t had a session with him, and those people were legally obligated to keep their mouths shut.
The edges of a few tattoos were visible, but that wouldn’t last long. Soon enough, Rami’s body would be covering them.
Skye’s lungs felt a little tight as he tried to remember that air needed to flow in and out, and he steadied himself just as Rami moved into the view of the camera. Like always, he said nothing. He walked up and ran his fingers along Skye’s chest, circling his nipples, then trailing down to play with the head of his cock.
Skye knew the drill. They hadn’t rehearsed this, but he knew what was coming next. He plucked the condom from the side of the bed and handed it to Rami, who made sure the viewers could see it. When Skye turned his head, he saw the scrolling chat and the donation button at the top of the screen.
The numbers were rising. He was too far from the screen to make out who was saying what, even with his contacts in, but it didn’t matter. In that moment, he didn’t give a shit. Nothing else in the world mattered except Rami’s perfect, clever fingers holding his cock and rolling the condom on him.
He caught his breath and struggled to keep from saying anything. Though his hearing was still nowhere close to as normal as it had been, everything in the room sounded so damn loud. Every breath was like a roaring wave, every step like a gunshot. Skye had never felt so on edge before. Not even his first night working as Gluttony.
And for the first time since he’d been with Rami, he felt his Sin close to the surface. He was a goddamn glutton for this man. Nothing else mattered except having him as much as possible, in every way possible. He wanted to spend the rest of his life indulging in Rami’s presence, in giving him everything he wanted, in holding him every night.
It was a ridiculous ask of God, or the universe or whatever was out there, but he didn’t care. He wanted more. There would never be enough.
It took everything in him not to beg Rami to touch him more—to move closer. But his silence was rewarded when Rami turned toward him, straddling one of his thighs and pointing his ass at the camera. With a single wiggle of his hips, Skye knew what he was asking for.
He picked up the lube and smeared a fresh dollop on his fingers, then used his free hand to pull Rami’s ass cheek to the side, exposing him. The chat was going wild. Even if he could have read it this far off, he couldn’t have kept up.
And Rami would be able to make his next dozen mortgage payments on tonight alone with the way the numbers were climbing.
Skye turned his attention to his lover. His beloved. The love of his life. He stroked two fingers down the crack in his ass, then circled them over where they’d been just a handful of minutes before. Rami’s body twitched, and he gave a barely there groan. It wasn’t louder than some of the other unconscious noises Skye knew he made on the lives, but this one was for him.
This one was because of him, and that was going right to his head.
He squeezed Rami’s hip to warn him, and then carefully, he slipped both in at once. Rami allowed himself a loud groan as he fucked his hips forward. His cocks were hard again—not fully, but close. He humped them against the top of Skye’s thigh, leaning forward so everyone had a view.
Skye shoved his fingers in deeper, harder, the loud squelch dominating the room. He closed his eyes as he lost himself to the feeling of Rami’s body moving with the rhythm of his hand, and it took a lot of effort to stay present in the moment because there was still so much more to be had.
A finger traced along the back of his neck. Letters, Skye realized. N O W. N O W.
Now.
He understood. He let his fingers slide from Rami’s hole, and then he spread his legs as his lover turned, and Skye took him by the hips, guiding him down. When Rami was crouched and nearly there, Skye gripped his dick and aimed. Rami’s weight sank down on him, catching, slipping, then catching again.
He groaned loudly again as the head of Skye’s cock slipped past the first ring of muscle. Then Rami froze. Time seemed to freeze with him…and then he let out a breath, relaxed his core, and sank all the way down.
Skye couldn’t help the noise he made. It was instinctual, almost animal. It was a bone-deep satisfaction of relief for something he hadn’t realized he’d been waiting for. He could have been perfectly fine and content the rest of his life never having this.
But now that it was his?
Now that Rami had allowed him this moment of impossible closeness?
This would live rent-free in his head for the rest of his life. This, and that three-fingered sign he’d been given minutes before, would be the moments he relieved on his death bed.
I love you , he thought loudly as he gripped the side of the chair with one hand and gave a hard thrust upward. Rami grunted, his ass clenching. Skye did it again, and again. Rami began to match him, his legs flexing as he rose and fell on Skye’s cock.
Eventually, he leaned back, his legs spread wide, bouncing restlessly, and Skye knew that twitch in him. Knew what he wanted. What he needed. Reaching around with both arms, he took both of Rami’s cocks—one in each hand—and he began to stroke them out of time with each other.
Rami let out a soft cry of both need and protest. Skye knew they were both playing it up for the camera a little. He was desperate to get Rami to come so he could have the man all to himself again, but he wanted to make this last as long as possible. He wanted Rami to feel empowered with the thrall he had over all these strangers.
His hands began to slow after long, agonizing minutes of teasing him. They began to match rhythm. Rami let out a sobbing sigh of relief, and he began to bounce on Skye’s dick again. He’d been holding off his orgasm for so long that Skye realized he wasn’t going to last.
He stroked Rami faster, harder, shoving him toward the edge of that cliff, and Rami’s body began to heat him as he got closer.
Yes , he thought loudly. He would have given anything to scream Rami’s name as he came—but there was time for that later.
His hips moved, humping up into his tight hole as his balls tightened and his orgasm burned at the base of his spine. Rami squeezed down around him, and before Skye could help himself, that was it. He was coming. His grip got sloppy, so Rami gripped Skye’s hands and began to jack himself with them.
Skye pulsed another rush of come into the condom deep in Rami’s ass as he pictured what that looked like on the video. And then Rami was letting go. He cried out louder than he ever did—loud enough for Skye to hear him perfectly. Hot ropes hit his knuckles as both their arms slowed down, and Rami collapsed backward into Skye’s embrace.
He held him, kissed over the back of his neck where the camera couldn’t see. He stroked a touch over his chest, his nipples, down the hairy trail toward his cocks. He gently ran his fingers over both, making them twitch, making Rami groan. Then Rami reached for something on the bed, and the screen went dark.
He had a little remote, and suddenly, with the push of a button, it was over. It was done .
Skye swallowed heavily. “Is it safe to talk?”
“Mm,” Rami said. He made no move to get up, and Skye was grateful because he needed his weight for a moment. It kept it all feeling real. Safe. Like it wasn’t some dream he’d conjured up in the darkest, most lonely moment of his life.
He kissed the back of Rami’s shoulder again and loosely wrapped his arms around his waist. “I love you,” he murmured.
Rami let out a sound that might have been a laugh—Skye wasn’t sure. But he knew it was the sound of joy and maybe even peace. “I love you too.”
Hell. He was never going to get tired of hearing that. Not ever.
Testing the door handle, Skye marched into Jet’s place when it turned and opened. It was the signal he wasn’t going to walk in on anything naked. Probably. There had been some mistakes in the past, but it was usually a safe bet.
And he felt a gut punch of relief when he stepped into the living room to find Jet lying on the couch with his knees up, his braille refresher over his thighs, fingers reading, and Taylor on the floor by his feet, working with his laptop on the coffee table.
Jet turned his head, and Taylor looked up.
“Skye,” Taylor said.
“Hi. I think I’m having a panic attack.”
“Metaphorical or literal?” Jet asked.
“Both?”
Feeling for Taylor’s head, Jet carefully moved his legs around his partner and then set his refresher down on the table before opening his arms. “Come here.”
Skye looked over at Taylor, checking in with his eyes, and Taylor rolled his own. “Go get your cuddles. I’m too swamped to care.”
Skye wasted no time leaning into Jet’s space, letting his much larger friend tug him into a tight embrace as they settled back against the cushions. Not to be left out, Thursday gave a loud trill and hopped up on Jet’s lap, shoving between them.
“What’s wrong?” Jet asked.
Skye took a small breath. “How do I fuck another man?”
Jet made a sound like he was choking on his tongue. “Babe, if you haven’t figured out that by now, I don’t even know what you’re doing at work.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Skye said, shoving at him. “How do you fuck someone else after you fall in love?”
“Oh,” Jet said very softly.
Taylor cleared his throat, then stood up. “I’m going to excuse myself from this conversation if you don’t mind.”
“Shit, I’m sorry,” Skye said in a rush. Taylor’s voice was very tense. “I didn’t mean?—”
“No, hon. It’s not you.” Taylor flipped his laptop closed and bent down, pressing a kiss to Skye’s forehead. “I’ve been having a bad week, and it’s making me feel irrational. Jet’s been amazing at giving me extra attention, but I don’t think I can hear this right now. I’m going to go bother August for some help with my photos.”
“He’s a finalist for this huge international award in photography. He has to submit a portfolio along with the piece that’s been nominated,” Jet said, grinning proudly. Taylor’s cheeks pinked.
“Will you show me the piece?” Skye asked him.
“Yep. Come by later after your crisis has been averted.” He squeezed Skye’s shoulder, then leaned in and took a filthy, quick kiss from Jet. “Tell me you love me,” he murmured.
“To the ends of the universe,” Jet said only just loud enough that Skye could hear it. He pretended he couldn’t. Those words belonged to Taylor.
Gathering his stuff, Taylor let himself out the front door, and Skye collapsed back against his friend. “I didn’t mean to screw up your harmony.”
“You didn’t,” Jet assured him. He ran his hand up and down Skye’s arm. “And I’ve been where you are. The first few sessions after I realized just how in love I was were…hard.”
“Did it go back to normal?”
Jet worried his bottom lip between his teeth, then let out a breath. “No. Not…not exactly. It got easier. But it took a lot of embracing the concept that Sloth isn’t all of who I am. That he’s the man who does this job, and Jet is the man who loves Taylor beyond all ration and reason.”
Beyond all ration and reason. That was exactly how he was feeling. It was too goddamn soon, but he was struggling to give a shit what everyone else considered normal or the right time. As Stone had said to him before, everything else was details. He had time to learn details, and he didn’t need to deny what was in his heart to do it.
Rami was his. And he was Rami’s—totally and completely.
“I’m going take your silence as understanding,” Jet said after a beat.
“Fuck. Uh…yeah. Yes. I’m just in total crisis mode because Rami is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and somehow, tomorrow night, I have to check that shit at the door and go make a man fall for me for a handful of hours.”
“You have to make him fall for Gluttony. You have to keep him wanting and needy and indulgent until that timer runs out. And then Gluttony clocks out, and Skye goes home to the love of his life,” Jet corrected.
Skye let out a rush of air. “How did you do it?”
“We spent as much time together as we could. Taylor was dealing with his own crisis over his studio, and he was kind of buckling under the weight of grief from all his terminal kids,” Jet said. “He needed more space than I did, and giving it to him was hard, but it was worth it.”
“I don’t know that Rami wants a lot of space,” Skye mused. “He wants time to be left to his art, and he likes quiet—which works for me. But he seems to want me nearby.”
“So be nearby. Figure out your new normal for the both of you. Figure out where you fit into his life and where he fits into yours.”
That was the only real thing that scared Skye in that moment. What if they fit together but didn’t fit anywhere else? What if Rami’s family hated him? What if Rami didn’t like the Sins? Things had gone well so far, but Skye had a long history of people disliking him for no real discernable reason other than he had that kind of face.
Rami loved his family. A lot. He was close to them, and Skye couldn’t stomach being in the way of that. So what would he do?
What could he do?
“I can literally hear you panicking harder.”
He let out a watery laugh and rubbed both hands down his face. “I don’t know how to stop.”
“Just breathe. He loves you as much as you love him, right?”
“Yes,” Skye said. He could answer that honestly and with full confidence. After the live was over and Rami dealt with the admin side of collecting money and making sure there were no dangerous threats said in the chat, Rami led him to the bathroom.
They undressed carefully and spent a short forever simply touching under the warm spray with bubbly hands and soft lips trading careful kisses that got them both heated but ultimately led nowhere. It was perfect.
Rami put together another snack tray, and they ate in bed with Ponyo on mute because Rami said just watching the animation helped him feel relaxed. Eventually, they dozed off in each other’s arms and woke the next morning much the same way.
Their lives had to separate eventually. Rami was still unsure what he wanted to do with the channel, but he needed to get back to his art, and he needed to call his parents to arrange a time to go visit.
And Skye had appointments, though what he really needed was this time to crisis over them because he didn’t want to give up his job. He loved his job. He just needed to make sure that it was the right thing for the both of them.
“What does he think?”
“About my work?” Skye asked.
“Mm. He’s never asked you to quit, has he?”
“No. And I wouldn’t ask him that either,” Skye told him. “He sees it far more black and white than I do. It’s ridiculous that he’s the one who’s okay and I’m the one losing myself.”
“You’re not losing yourself. You’re in love,” Jet pointed out. “Most of us now have been there. And we’ve all made it work. You might be the odd one out, but I’m willing to bet you just need time to breathe.”
“Yeah,” Skye said. He had a little time. And he was starting to feel a little more normal now that he’d gotten everything off his chest. It made him feel oddly better that Taylor actually did struggle sometimes. It made the whole thing feel a bit more rational, and that was what he needed. “Do you think his parents will like me?”
“I think any parent who doesn’t like you for their son isn’t looking out for their interests,” Jet told him seriously. “You are one of the best of us, Skye. And I mean that.”
Skye felt warm all over. And comforted. And safe. This was his home and his family, and just then, it hit him that he really could have both. “Thank you for being one of the best things that ever happened to me.”
“Save that sappy-ass shit for your boyfriend,” Jet said with a grimace, then laughed and pulled him close. “But I could say the same thing. And I’m happy for you.”
And God, it had been so long, but Skye could finally say he was happy for himself too.