Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
HUDSON
I lean against the side of the barn in the falling snow, letting it drift onto my shoulders, into my hair. I can’t feel a thing.
“What the hell?” Reed grinds out from inside where he and the rest of my family stand, witnessing the downfall of any slim chance Addy and I ever had.
Mack stalks out of the barn and turns on me. We stand in the falling, powdery snow, listening to the conversation inside.
“You are not my boyfriend, Adam.” Addy’s voice is strained.
“Well, you know what I mean. When you’re not gallivanting around the countryside having a quarter-life crisis, or whatever this is.”
Reed appears through the doors next. “Did you know about this guy?”
“I know he is her ex, and he’s been harassing her, messaging and calling.”
“Seriously, does she need our help then?” Mack pushes off the wall ready to go in guns blazing to Addy’s rescue. Always the hero, my little brother.
But all I can feel is devastation after watching her and Adam work together. He is more her type. Seeing the way they worked in unison like clockwork, refined and automatic. I know that comes with time spent together. And if Addy is to have a great career as an equine vet, he is the type she should be with. Not him . But someone like him. Someone with the same ambition and field of work. Someone who is already living the life she wants.
Not this.
Not me.
I can’t be the reason she doesn’t have a shot at her dreams.
I won’t.
“Why are you out here, if he is in there with her?” Mack snaps.
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Watch the mares for a while will ya, you two? I have to get outta here for a bit.”
I track to the truck and start it up. As I pull away, Addy flies through the barn doors, hands in her hair. Hurt twists her face, and I tell myself this is for the best. We both knew our time was limited. At least now, we can both go our separate ways. I force my gaze to the road. White covers everything, and the wheel tracks that make up our dirt road blur as I stifle the sobs that claw up my throat.
I drive slow, not caring about the cold that is seeping into my bones deeper with every minute that passes. Reed said if you love something you should set it free. Wise ass. Regurgitating goddamn clichés like he’s Gandhi or some shit. But now, that phrase is too fucking raw. Addy deserves the life and career she wants, that she dreams of. After all she has been through, it is the least life owes her. So, that is exactly what I am going to do.
Let her go.
That’s my decision.
When my newly lit-up house comes into view, I’m so glad to have power. The house is so close to being done. And the irony of my house finally being a home as the love of my life walks away is not lost on me. Not one iota. I will be the world’s most magnificently housed king of broken hearts to ever live. I might be in goddamned agony, but I will do it in my ranch homestead, refined rustic style.
I park by the steps and kill the engine. I let my head hit the steering wheel and breathe through the ache in my chest. It’s like a fire I can’t put out, because every breath has turned too shallow, and I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Pushing off the cold plastic, I slam a hand into the wheel.
Fucking hell, Hudson.
I open the door and walk up the stairs and inside. The house is cold. Funny, my heart feels the same right now. I toss timber into the fireplace and shove kindling under it, lighting it with a match. I could drag the mattress out here so I don’t freeze. But before I have the chance to mull that life choice over, a vehicle rolls up the drive and comes to a stop beside my truck. Reed’s truck.
Addy jumps out and runs up the stairs. But she stops short when her gaze finds mine. “Huddy?” she whispers.
I shake my head.
“Please, I... He’s not—” She strangles a cry.
My heart cracks.
“It’s alright, Adeline. It’s better this way. You can check on the mares in a few days if you want. Or not. I’ve handled it all before.”
She steps forward, her hand raised like she wants to touch me, but drops it when I don’t respond.
“Go home, Adeline.”
“What? Hudson, no . . .”
“Harry was right; we shouldn’t have got involved.”
Her face buckles with devastation. “Because you always do what your father says.”
“This here is exactly why. He was right when he told me not to?—”
She folds her arms across her chest. “Harry told you to stay away from me?”
My eyes fall shut.
“Hudson?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
She huffs a breath. “Oh.”
“Addy, I had no intention of following that particular order.”
“Why not?”
I open my eyes. “What d’you mean?”
“I mean, I’m leaving in a few weeks. Harry was right.” Her words are sharp.
And they fucking hurt.
“You can’t be serious, Addy?” Every syllable burns up my throat. But it’s the truth—she’s leaving. She won’t have a job after the contract. There is no way Justin is going to sign off on an extension—he fucking hates me, and she barely tolerates him. “It was because I am taking over the ranch and the business. That includes the clinic. I never wanted to be your boss. And being involved would have complicated things.”
“Well, I don’t want to be some city girl who strung you along and broke your heart.”
I stare at her stunned for a heartbeat. She thinks this was all some defensive move? What the hell? How fucking good has that douchebag worked her over that she thinks all this is some fancy charade to blow her off? And am I okay with her going back to the city with him? No. Definitely not. But here with me is not her best option, either. She should have better choices than a ranch life and no career to speak of.
“Right,” I utter.
“So, this is it. Your roundup is over, you have your foals. I’m supposed to leave like nothing happened here?”
I can’t say what I want to... Just can’t.
“You probably should.”
Her chin wobbles but she nods. “I’ll be back in a week to take out Charlie’s stitches and check the mares and foals. Text me if anything comes up.”
I nod and stare at the fireplace. If I look at her, I’m gonna lose it. Most likely beg her to stay, and I’m not a begging man. Won’t make a scene. She deserves better.
“Good night, Rawlins.”
I grind my jaw shut. Fuck. Why does that hurt like nothing else?
She turns and heads for the door. When she crosses the threshold, she glances over her shoulder. Silver lines her eyes.
Jesus Christ.
I’m a fucking asshole.
But it’s for the best. And Adeline Howard deserves nothing less. When Reed’s truck door slams and he pulls away from the house, I take in this big old house that I’m gonna have to knock around in by myself. I watch my heart leave in my brother’s truck. And I am never getting it back.
Charlie wags his tail so hard, I swear that furry little butt with pop right off. Addy walks up the steps and her gaze finds him straight away. He huddles into her lap when she kneels on the porch and extends her arms to him. His little heart will be shattered on the ground next to mine when he realizes she ain’t coming back after this visit.
Addy doesn’t look at me... That’s how I know this is over.
I set my face in stone and walk back into the house. I can’t be around her right now. Or I’ll say something fucking stupid, like stay . If the last seven days have been anything to go off, after this visit and she is out of my life forever, I suspect simply breathing in the mountain air is goin’ to be painful.
I busy myself with the kitchen install. The cupboards, sink insert, and stone countertop lie around the living room floor. I slide another cabinet into place and screw the batons in the wall. It’s the design Addy drew up, with the finish that I have imagined since I started this project.
Now the heart of my home is now tied to her. Fitting. Another blow. I close the doors and stand up before setting the drill down. The counter section with the sink goes next. I manhandle it into position by the cupboard. I put in place and shuffle it around until it is flush against the back wall and neighboring unit.
“He’s all good. Keep him out of the mud and the like so the site doesn’t get infected.” I turn back. She is studying the kitchen progress and a small, sad smile blooms over her sweet lips. Most likely she has figured out the design is hers. The layout is exactly the same. “I like your choice of finish. It suits the house.” Her words are weak, and she tucks her hair behind her ear, breaking eye contact.
“Charlie’s alright, then?”
“Yeah,” she whispers. She rocks on her feet, looking like she wants to say something else.
And when the silence doesn’t end, I say, “Reed’s probably waiting. See you around, Addy.”
“Sure, see you around.”
She turns on her heel and walks out the door. When the car door closes, I turn back to my work, flinging the new doors open on the sink unit, grabbing up a bunch of screws to secure it to the wall. The front door opens, and I freeze.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Huddo?”
“Leave it alone, Reed,” I say from the depths of the cupboard, drilling in a screw and then the next.
“Nope, no can do. Why are you doing this? Letting her leave, for fuck’s sake?”
I inhale and blow out the breath. The ache in my chest that appeared the second Addy walked up the steps intensifies.
“You can’t seriously be okay with her leaving and going back to that Adam guy?”
“Addy’s a smart girl. She’s not going to go back to him.” I back out of the cupboard and push to my feet. “She is going back to her life, Reed. Her career. Adam isn’t a factor. That much I know.”
“And what about you? What do you get?”
I glare at him.
I get the ranch.
I get “the empire,” as Morley put it.
I get nothing.
Absolutely fucking nothing. I swallow, my throat almost closed with emotion.
“Huddo, I know you. I know her. This”—he waves his hands wildly between me and his truck—“is not what either of you want!”
“What I want doesn’t matter, Reed! Addy matters. And what she needs is to get the hell out of dodge before she loses everything she has ever dreamed of and gets stuck here. End of story. Now get out of my house.”
“You’re one stubborn motherfucker, you know that, right?”
He spins on his heel and walks out, shaking his head. But when his truck pulls away, all I can do is stare at the floor. I always knew Addy was mine. But I never thought letting her go would be this goddamn hard.
I move the next cupboard into place. But my head is fuzzy, too big, the air too thin. A vice tightens around my heart. Staggering through a handful of breaths, I grip the side of the unit. I turn and slide down the unit and rest my head back on the smooth finish before slamming the heels of my palms over my eyelids.
Her stunning brown eyes are all I see. And the hurt that lanced through them.
What the fuck have I done?