Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
ADDY
J ustin stares at me. “No.”
“Fine, can I at least finish out the week?”
“Fine, but no more equine visits. Only in-house clients.”
I have no idea what the hell he is playing at, but my contract isn’t up for another week and a half. And now he wants me gone early? Did Harry have something to do with this? Did Adam showing up make them think that I was dishonest with Hudson?
Because I told him everything about Adam and me. And that Adam and I have been over since before I came here is a fact Hudson is well aware of. It is also not like him to cause drama or share personal information with other people, especially the likes of Justin Morley. He barely tolerates him.
“Can I ask why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want me gone before my contract is up? I don’t understand.”
“It’s not me who wants you gone, it’s New York who wants you back, Adeline. I got an email from the guy who runs the equine clinic you were working at before you came here. For god knows what reason, they are desperate to have you back.”
“Oh,” is all I can say.
Joe emailed? That’s unlike him. He was onboard with my garnering experience plan. Unless...
Adam.
He would have been in his ear about this. Sweet-talking him. He probably told him I was flailing, not coping. That absolute fucking asshole. This is not the first time he has done something like this. Why does he always do this? Always swinging in like a wrecking ball to anything good in my life.
This time I am not standing for his bullshit. He thinks he can manipulate me into coming home and straight back to him. Since I have been so caught up in the roundup and other priorities, mainly Hudson, I haven’t fleshed out any job opportunities after Lewistown. I could take Joe up on his offer, for six months at least, until I can find another contract somewhere.
“I have a nine o’clock,” I say and walk out of his office and to my treatment room. A little old lady, greyed hair and light green cardigan over a pale-pink dress stands with a cage housing a cat.
“Morning, Mrs. Johnson. What’s Felix up to today, hey?”
“Well last night, he was acting strange and this morning he threw up everywhere in the kitchen...”
I listen as she recounts Felix’s last twenty-four hours as I coax him out of his cage. But I’m not even listening. Not really. Everything is out of whack.
Like I have changed irreparably.
Everything I thought I knew about myself, my world, and my place in it has shifted. I feel unhinged and less certain.
I know where my anchor is.
In a half-built house on a ranch that is the first time I have felt at home and alive in over a decade.
“Dear . . .”
The word is muffled, the sounds only just audible.
“Dear? Are you alright?”
Mrs. Johnson’s hand blurs in front of my face. She waves it side to side.
I stutter through a burning breath.
Tears burn my eyes. “Not really,” I utter.
“Maybe you should sit down, sweetheart?”
A fine, papery-thin hand guides me to the rolling office chair by my desk.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ll find Sally.”
“No, please, I’m fine. I . . . I?—”
She peeks back to her cat, now roaming the small treatment room like a tourist. “You know what, I think Felix ate one too many lizards. I am sure he will be fine.”
“No, I will check him out, give me a moment.”
“Oh honey, I know that face.” She offers a sad smile and pats my hand.
I work my way through a handful of deep, steady breaths. “What do I do about it?”
“There is only one choice. You follow your heart, no matter the risk.”
I huff out a strangled laugh. “I was afraid you would say that. And that’s not an option.”
“Then time and distance always help.” She gives me her best condolence face. I push from the chair and scoop up Felix. I feel his belly. It’s soft and pliable. No obvious hard lumps or anomalies. I check down his throat, listen to his heart and lungs. A little on the thin side, but he is fit as a fiddle. Will most likely outlive his owner.
“Felix is fine. You were probably right, one too many lizards. Some more food, a little more if you can. And he should be fine.”
I steer Felix back into his cage and secure it tight. “Well, I guess this is goodbye. I won’t see you before I leave next week. It has been lovely getting to know you and Felix.”
She presses a thin hand to my cheek. “You are a gem. We’re sorry to see you go, sweet girl.”
The smile falls from my face. My gut twists, sending pangs through my chest. Oh, fantastic—every other thing now reminds me of Hudson. The man who gave me back half of my life. The half that I thought I’d lost for over eight years. The part of me that lived and breathed in my soul. The part that felt like joy and freedom bundled into one.
Every time I look at a horse, swing into the saddle, it will be bittersweet. And that is going to be one hell of a problem for this equine vet. I walk Mrs. Johnson out to reception, and she waves goodbye. When I turn back, Sally is standing in my way. “Another appointment?”
“In the spare treatment room. He’s waiting for you.”
My heart thunders and I walk around her. Sally’s gaze tracks me, and I have to shake out my trembling hands. But when I open the door, my gut plummets. No Hudson.
Harry.
I close the door and lean against it, bottom lip between my teeth. When he turns back, it is all I can do to steady each burning breath and hold back the burn of tears that prickle the bridge of my nose.
“Addy, still here.”
I release a breath. “Yep. I have ’til the end of the week.”
“Have you thought about the offer I made you?”
“I didn’t think that would still apply after the foaling.”
“Why would you think that?”
“I missed the twins on the lead-up examinations. And Hudson?—”
Harry holds up a hand.
I wait for the reprimand.
“You know, I have been working alongside equine vets for over twenty years. And in all that time, you are the first to own up to a mistake and to correct it. With a successful outcome, I may add. That takes skill, knowledge, and a whole lot of gumption. I’m impressed, not annoyed.”
I don’t know what to say.
“Hudson—he’s a stubborn, strong man. But he does what he thinks is right for his family. Always.”
I suck in a breath on that last word.
Did we subconsciously pick up our always and never from Louisa and Harry? Hudson, my ship. Me, his captain? No, he told me to leave. So, he can what? Sail aimlessly, lost at sea. Find another captain...
What?
“My son has it in his head that he will never be good enough. For the ranch. For the people he loves. It’s why I challenge him every day, why I spent the last four years trying to get him to take the lead. He is beyond capable and a better horseman than I will ever be. But he is missing one thing. The one thing that is the makings of every man. And when the two of you figure it out... However long that takes, or if you ever do. My offer, the business partnership that we spoke about for the mobile equine veterinary clinic, will be there. That particular demand in this area is never going to dry up.”
All I can do is nod. Louisa was right. Harry is up front, he is honest, and he knows what his family needs. I stifle a chuckle. Usually, he knows before they know themselves. And having my own practice is my end goal, what I’ve always wanted. But he is missing one crucial part. Hudson doesn’t want me to stay. It doesn’t matter if he needs me; he doesn’t want me. A stark contrast to Adam, who always wanted me but never needed me.
The way I see it, by telling me to leave, he gave me two choices... To live a career life and dive headfirst into what I love doing by following my plan of accumulating experience all over the horse industry. Or to return to New York and hone my surgical skills. Back to the life I had before this.
Nowhere in those choices was the word stay . Or the idea that we could build a life together.
“Actually, I am going back to the clinic in New York. They have requested I return, so I will take them up on their offer.”
“I see. Well, if things don’t work out, please know you have a place here. At least within our community.”
A consolation prize.
“Thanks, but I don’t?—”
Harry closes the distance between us, and I see every feature of his that he gave his son. His brilliant blue eyes, his defined square jaw, and his brown hair that has started to thin, unlike his son’s. He pulls me into a hug, and I clench my jaw tight to fight back the tears. “Never say never, Adeline. Life will laugh in your face and give you what you least expected but always what you need.”
God, now I know where Reed gets his philosophy lines from. I huff a laugh, and he releases me. His blue eyes search mine. “You are always welcome in our family. Bye, Addy.”
“Bye,” I whisper, but he walks out the door and closes it behind him.
After the last box of things I own is squeezed into the back, I slam the trunk shut and walk to the driver’s side door. With a last glance at the townhouse that has been my home for the past six months, I drop into the seat and pull the door closed. I start the engine. As I shift the car into drive, Reed’s black truck wheels around the corner at an alarming rate.
Butterflies explode in my belly. And... Then they fizzle out as I recognize Mack in the passenger’s seat. They park across the driveway, blocking me in, and spill from the truck. I push out of my car and Mack has me in a rough hug a heartbeat later. “You were gonna leave without saying goodbye, Adds?”
I huff a strangled laugh past my swollen windpipe. And he releases me and dips his head. “Bye, Addy. Know you will be sorely missed. Ma says see ya later, her words .”
Reed steps into my space and hugs me around the waist, lifting me off my feet. “See ya later,” he whispers. I stifle a sob and slam my eyes shut to stave off the burn of tears.
When my feet hit the ground, I have to wipe my face, and Mack tousles my hair with a hand. “Safe travels, Adds.”
“Thanks.”
Reed stares at me for a moment as his brother gets back in the truck. “I know Hudson can be a stubborn ass?—”
“Is he—is he okay, Reed?”
“He went out on Rocket this morning, early. Haven’t seen him since.”
“Oh.”
“You know where to find us... You know, when we see you later .” He winks and dots a kiss to my cheek before jogging back to his truck. My hands gravitate to my chest, shaking over the pounding heartbeat. When Reed’s truck roars back around the corner, the horn beeping like a loon, I huff a breathy chuckle. God, I will miss those two.
I slip back into my car and shut the door. Forehead hitting the wheel, I moan. I can do this. I can move on to my next chapter.
I set my shoulders back and put the car in drive.
My phone buzzes.
Ruby.
Turning onto the street, I let the car roll to a stop at the lights. Everything seems to shrink around me. And by the time I pass the city limits heading east, tears stream down my cheeks, dropping onto my jeans. Now I need to get out of here.
I smash the power button for the music and the last channel I had tuned in blares some slow country song. I bawl, letting the road in front of me blur. Sobbing hard, I chug for breath and have to pull over.
I’ve never felt this distraught over a guy. But Hudson is not some guy . He was so much more to me. He touched every facet of my life. Of my heart.
A crushing weight thunders through every inch of me. I grip the wheel and cry until my throat is raw. And my ribs ache with every inhale.
An hour later, I dry my face and fix my mirrors, pulling back onto the highway. Every mile, the tears flow. It’s going to be a long, long four days by myself. I pick up my phone with one hand and tap speed dial for Rubes. She picks up on the second ring.
“You okay, Adds? Reed called.”
Of course he did.
“No, not one bit.”
“Fuck, Adds. Come home, babe. I got you, boo.”
I chug another sob, nodding. When I remember she can’t see me, I choke out, “On my way.”
“Good, I will have everything ready when you arrive. You’re staying with me until further notice, alright?”
“Sure,” I rasp, and a raspy chuckle slips out at her bossiness. Always organizing people, our Ruby.
I fall into the loving arms that wait for me as sirens wail around us and the filthy air of New York City reacquaints itself with my senses. Ruby hugs me tight. It takes everything I have to not fall apart on the sidewalk of her street.
“Come on, let’s take you inside.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders. “I have ice cream, chocolate, and reruns of Friends...”
“I wanna crash. Ain’t got an ounce of energy for nothin’ else.”
“Listen to you, Montana small-town speak just falling out of your mouth.” She laughs and squeezes my shoulders. But I have to swallow past the stone that grows in my airway. God, even my own words stab me in the heart. Everything is a reminder of Hudson. We cross the threshold to her apartment. It’s modern, clean, and organized within an inch of its square footage.
“Tomorrow night, you and me are going out for dinner. After that, we have a full calendar. You know what they say about getting back on the hors—” She drops her arm. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Adds.”
“It’s okay,” I utter, wrapping my arms around myself as tears spill over, running down my cheeks. She is folded around me a second later. All these people hugging me, I swear, it makes everything so much harder.
Let me be heartbroken in solitude, please.
“I think I’m going to turn in.” I make sure the words are whole, even if my heart feels like it never will be again. Ruby leans in and grabs my shoulders. “Let me know if you need chocolate. That’s what I’m here for, hey.”
I nod and wander toward the spare room that I’ve crashed in more times than I can count. I guess now it’s my short-term room until I find another place for however long I am working at the equine clinic. The second the door is shut behind me, I flop onto the bed. But I roll over and stare at the ceiling. Nothing matters anymore. My phone pings.
Louisa.
My heart cracks.
And I have to grit my teeth as I slide to open her message.
Just checking you got back to the big apple okay, darlin.
The last of my resolve dissolves and I chug out a sob while I text back.
I’m at Ruby’s. Thank you for everything. Addy xx
It was my pleasure, hon. Take care.
You too. xx
I send Mom a text letting her know I’m back and can visit on the weekend. She sends back a smiley face emoji; she must be at work. Crawling under the blankets, exhausted, I curl up and pull my knees to my chest.
And when my eyes fall shut, I imagine being amongst the snow-laden trees, riding Sergeant, Hudson beside me on Rocket. Sobs come hard and fast. For the life I never knew I always wanted. Until sleep finally drags me under. But my dreams are full of those blue eyes and snippets of a life that will never be.