Chapter 20 – Claire
TWENTY
CLAIRE
It’s been a week since our kiss under the boardwalk, and Miles has made one thing glaringly clear: he is making every effort to avoid me. It’s like a single moment together flipped some switch, reminding him that we can’t not only be something more , but we can’t even be friends.
We’re barely acquaintances at this point.
Two days in, I took the list off the fridge and crossed out eat ice cream , leaving it on the counter for him to see. I was somewhat mollified when he didn’t crumble it and toss it in the trash, instead putting it back on the fridge where it belongs.
But besides that, there has been absolutely no contact.
It’s why when, on my day off, I meet June, Lainey, and Deck at the beach, I’m shocked to see him arrive with Grant thirty minutes later, dropping their things into the sand at the little camp we set up.
I push my sunglasses down my nose and watch as Miles takes his ever-present backward hat off, flipping it around so the brim hides his face a bit.
“Wow, did you tell Miles I was going to be here?” I ask as he pretends to be looking for something in the black bag he bought.
“What?” Grant asks with a confused look.
“I just figured if you told him I was going to be in attendance at this little friend gathering, he would have found some new, strange excuse not to come.”
The group looks from Miles to me, a blush growing on his cheeks despite the hat.
I take him in from behind my glasses and ignore the tiny pinch in my heart. I genuinely thought we had gotten past whatever was keeping him so closed off from me, but clearly I was so wrong.
Miles is off fighting some fictional battle in his head about God knows what, but I learned once before that you can’t make anyone want to be with you: they have to want to do that on their own.
And I refuse to fight for a man to grace me with his attention.
“Are you two fighting?” Deck asks from where he’s sitting in the sand beside Lainey.
“No, she’s being ridiculous,” Miles grumbles, and my eyes go wide, not expecting a response.
“Oh, Miles is just being a dick because he realized he’s super into me but he’s mad about it, so he’s taking it out on everyone around him. Feel free to ignore him.”
Grant lets out a snort laugh, but Deck doesn’t bother to hide it, laughing out loud.
“Why is he being a dick?” he asks.
“Because he kissed me under the boardwalk. You know, because he’s so in love with me.” I smile angelically, taking a sip from my water and setting it back down. “But then he panicked about it, so he’s ignoring me.”
“It did it to prove I didn’t like you!” he says, and Grant gives him a deadpan look.
“Bro,” he says, and Deck lets out another loud laugh.
“Yeah, he was all, ‘ No! I can’t do this! I’m not good enough for you!’ ” I say.
“That’s not what happened, Claire,” Miles argues, that blush deepening, be it with irritation or embarrassment, I don’t know.
“Do you want to share with the class then? Feel free to correct me. Maybe they can decide who is in the right and who is dead wrong,” I tell him, giving him a raised eyebrow. “That’s what I thought,” I say when he doesn’t respond. “Anyway, I told him I didn’t want to play games because I am an adult, and he’s been avoiding me for the last week. This is the first time I’ve seen him since then, actually.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you—” he starts, but Grant cuts him off.
“Dude, you literally came to my house after work and showered there yesterday. Is that why you didn’t just go home? Because you’re afraid of a little blonde chick?” Grant asks with a laugh.
My eyes widen with the confirmation. I smile, but secretly, somewhere, I would very much like to ignore the sadness that leaks into my bones.
It was only an assumption that he was ignoring me, since I know in general, he works a ton, but the confirmation is…not what I was hoping for. I guess I was hoping there was some incredibly logical explanation that might, possibly, come with a romantic confession of love.
A girl can dream.
“I’m going in the water. Anyone want to come?” I ask, in desperate need to get away from the awkward tension. I stand and look behind me only to find Miles’s eyes glued to my ass exposed from the high-cut bottoms that show off half of it. Despite myself, I smile, shaking my head when I catch him, and he shifts his gaze quickly.
“I’ll come!” Lainey says eagerly, standing.
“Me too!” June agrees, both of them clearly ready to gossip.
“I’ll come,” Deck says, but Lainey glares at him. “Just kidding. I’ll just…stay here with the two Mr. Denials.”
My mind moves through the two comment, but I don’t have the time to figure out who else he’s referring to because June and Lainey are putting their arms through my elbows and dragging me toward the water. We don’t go in fully, just barely up to our knees, because the water is still chilly.
Once we’re officially far enough from listening boy-ears, Lainey gives me a look.
“You guys kissed?” she asks, eyes wide. “You didn’t tell me!”
“This is the first time I’ve seen you in a week,” I say with a laugh.
“You could have texted me!”
“And miss your reaction in person? No thanks,” I tell her with a smile.
“She told me,” June brags with a smug smile, and I turn my glare onto her.
“That’s because you’re off for the summer and spend each day right next to my stand.” She shrugs like she isn’t going to bother arguing with that.
“Okay, okay, okay,” Lainey says, eager to get back on topic. “But like, how was it?”
I sigh.
“It was…amazing,” I whisper.
“I knew that man would kiss good,” June says.
“Lethally,” I agree.
“But what happened? Because if Miles Miller kissed me, I’d never stop.” Lainey looks at me. “No offense.”
“None taken. Trust me, I didn’t want to. It just…” I sigh. “He said he doesn’t have time for a relationship and that he knew that would be what I wanted. He works too much, blah blah blah.”
“So, he’s a big baby chicken?” Lainey asks, and I snort out a laugh.
“Kind of.” I nod as I watch a small wave crash against my legs.
“Do you like him?” June asks seriously. “Like, really.”
I let out a deep breath, look to the sky, and admit my truth. “Unfortunately.” Lainey lets out a small laugh. “I think I always did,” I whisper.
“No shit,” June agrees with a laugh. “You deluded yourself into being into Paul, but we always knew which Miller you really liked.” Guilt that Paul doesn’t deserve moves through me, but I don’t have time to let it stay there. “Okay, so now that we’ve got that confession out of the way, what are we going to do about it?”
I turn to her. “What?”
“What are you going to do about it?”
I frown. “Well…nothing.”
“Nothing?” Lainey asks, clearly shocked by this.
I shake my head. “I won’t chase a man who won’t admit he’s into me.”
June looks at Lainey, and a look passes between them, but I don’t pay it any mind.
“That’s so fair,” Lainey says.
“Totally. Either way, it looks like we’re in for an interesting summer,” June says with a laugh.
“I’d kill for a date. I feel like it’s been an eternity since I’ve been out with someone. Even just to get drinks and have a night out. I want to dress up and look pretty,” Lainey says a few hours later.
We’ve played in the water and taken a few walks, watched the guys throw a football, and got lunch from the boardwalk, though the entire time, Miles has basically ignored me.
“Everyone in this stupid town is too chicken to ask a girl out,” June agrees, and I wonder exactly who she’s talking about since June rarely says anything without intention.
I make a mental note to ask her about it later, but in the meantime?—
“Just do it yourself,” I say with a smile. “Dating is so antiquated, waiting for him to make a move? We all know men can’t decide on a single thing. If you want to go on a date, just ask him.”
Miles lets out a scoff, and I shift my gaze to him. I fight the all-consuming urge to start to heckle him and scream, I was talking about you, dipshit!
But instead, I decide to be an adult.
Kind of.
“What’s funny?”
“That you’d give that advice, since you’d never do that.”
My eyes go wide, and my mouth drops open in shocked irritation. He’s barely talked to me in a week , and this is when he decides to?
You've got to be kidding me.
“Excuse me?”
“You would never do that, Claire. You’re a wait-for-the-guy-to-make-the-first-move kind of girl.”
My jaw goes tight, despite the fact that he isn’t wrong.
I like the guy who makes the first move to make me feel wanted. That’s why when Miles makes the first move, and his actions do not match his words, it hurts.
“So you’re saying I wouldn’t ask a guy out on a date?” I challenge, crossing my arms on my chest.
He shakes his head in response.
I nod and give him a smile because the universe loves to give me bad ideas, and one is walking our way.
“It wouldn’t bother you at all if I got up and asked someone else out right now?”
Miles shakes his head, though I can see his jaw twitch just a bit.
“Go right on ahead,” he says.
He’s so fucking stubborn, but I don’t have the time or energy to coach an adult man to use his big boy words to talk about his big, big feelings, so instead, I nod, then scan the beach for a moment before finding the perfect option. Then I stand and walk over to where I spotted Brad.
“Hey,” I say, with a sultry smile, when I reach him.
I place a hand against the post that separates the regular beachgoers from the exclusive beach seating, Surf leases from the town. Heads turn, but I keep my eyes on my target, and when he looks my way, I smile wider. His eyes widen when they take me in, then his face goes smug as he says something to the guy he’s talking to before walking over to me.
“Well, hello there. What can I do for you?”
I put a hand on my hip, sliding my hair over my shoulder, and looking toward my group of friends. Deck and Grant look horribly entertained by me, while June looks a bit concerned. Lainey is intrigued, like she’s taking notes for future reference, and Miles looks…angry.
No, not angry. Absolutely livid .
Good.
He wants to play the hot and cold asshole, I can too.
“So, my friends kind of dared me to ask someone out on a date because they think I won’t actually do it, and you might be the lucky guy,” I say, giving him the honesty Brad deserves.
His eyes look over my shoulder, taking in my friends, and I look too, before wiggling my fingers at Miles. Even from here, I can see his jaw is clenched tight enough to crack a tooth.
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. Does tomorrow night work?”
His arms cross on his chest, and he leans back. That’s when I notice the khaki shorts and polo tucked into it. Looking at the other employees, I note that this is not some kind of uniform he’s forced into, but instead something he chose intentionally.
I take a deep breath, telling myself that I can get over that.
Probably.
“You with Miles?” he asks, something I find strange, but he probably remembers Miles pulling me away from him last week.
“No. I’m not,” I say simply.
“Well, then, yeah. Definitely. How does tomorrow at seven work?”
I smile wide. “That would be perfect.”
“We’ll have our date here, at Surf.”
My brow furrows, but then again, I’ve been on enough shitty dates to not care about adding one to my tally to best Miles.
“That works.”
“Perfect. Here, give me your number,” he says, and I call out the digits before shaking his hand like this is some kind of business transaction. Finally, I turn back toward my friends with a thumbs-up and a smile.
Despite winning his little dare, the look on Miles’s face doesn’t make me feel like I won anything.