25. Abigail – “Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” — Berthold Auerbach
25
Abigail
“Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” — Berthold Auerbach
“I’m sure you look great,” Mel says into the phone.
It was my cousin's wedding today, and I knew I had to dress to impress and do my makeup as best I could. I never wore foundation, even when I went out, but I knew there would be nonstop pictures, so I wanted to be prepared no matter what angle I was taken off guard by.
“Remember what I taught you. When you smile, don’t over-smile. That shows wrinkles, and your right side is your better side, so always lean to the left when taking group photos.”
Mel’s dad worked with many celebrities and models, so she knew many tips and tricks to help the camera love you.
“You know I’m still not going to like the pictures.”
“Stop it. You sent me a photo of your dress, and you look fucking hot. I’m surprised Colt hasn’t ravished you already.”
“Would you stop?” I said with agitation. “That’s Josh’s brother.”
“So what? I dated Josh, not you.”
“And my cousin's ex, or whatever they are. And did I fail to mention I can’t stand him?” I added.
“You don't have to like him to fuck him. And didn’t you go to his mom’s house with his son?” She reminds me.
“Ya, but it wasn’t like that. Bodie wanted me to come so he could show me his horse.”
“Uh-huh, sure. All about Bodie.” She teases.
“Besides, I’m not sure if they are still, ya know-”
“What? Banging?” She says, finishing my thought for me.
“Ya, and isn’t there like a universal rule? All of your family’s exes are off-limits? That applies to best friends too, I thought.”
“Ya, Maybe out there in Tim-buck-two.”
“I live in Missouri, not the boonies,” I say, rolling my eyes, thankful my gesture is hidden by a phone.
“Well, whatever. The way I see it, they have no kids together, and they were never married. If we followed that rule, then we all would be doomed. It’s already hard finding a stand-up guy, and if we eliminate men due to past history, then we might as well turn Mormon so we can share men in this day and age. Besides, it’s not like she owns him. And how would she ever know?”
“Uh, she’s my cousin.” I draw out the words. “She'll sniff it out. And he’s a famous NFL player.”
“Oh please, he’s not famous; he’s just an athlete. Your words, remember.” I hear her tear off a wrapper, and I’m assuming she’s biting into a protein bar.
“All I’m saying is you are there only for the summer. Maybe you need to just fuck him out of your system,” she says through a mouthful.
“I don’t need to fuck anyone out of my system.” I bark back.
“Sure you do. Jared treated you like shit towards the end of your relationship.”
She was right, but I tried not to think about that because Jared and I were friends at one point. We talked, opened up to one another, and somehow, towards the end, he became a complete asshole, always making me feel like I was lucky to have him instead of the other way around.
“Ya, but-”
“But nothing. No man treats anyone that way. Now you’re even more down on yourself. What’s wrong with having a hot, N-F-L player fuck you down,” She accents the NFL part. “And make you feel good? It’s the perfect set-up, too.”
Heat rises in my chest, spreading down to my core as I think about Colt Killian's extensive hands on me. “First of all, he’s not even remotely interested in me that way.”
“He has a penis, doesn’t he?” I can picture Mel lowering her designer glasses as if she’s standing right in front of me.
“So what, he has never done anything to make me think that has even crossed his mind?”
“Trust me, honey, you guys are practically living together, it’s crossed his mind. Haven’t you watched porn? Men have all types of fantasies like that.”
“Ya, fantasies,” I emphasize the word. “Reality is, he probably still is into my cousin, and once he sees her all dressed up tonight, she’ll be the one moving in with him.”
“They didn’t work out for a reason. And stop stressing over Naomi.” She says her name in a nasal tone. “It’s not like she or your other cousins treated you so great. Sometimes, family is family by default. Just because you share the same bloodline doesn’t mean you owe them anything.”
She had another point. But I wasn’t even interested in Colt, so there was no need to risk losing my family over a guy I didn’t even think about, and I’m sure he didn’t think of me that way.
“I don’t even like jocks, so why are we even entertaining this conversation?”
“Exactly!” That’s even more reason to have a summer fling. You have nothing complicating the situation.”
Except his dead brother Blake.
“If I tell you yes, I’ll fuck Colt, then will you stop bringing it up?”
“Oh-ya,” she says with a Barry white accent
I laugh. “You’re ridiculous.” I look over at the clock. “Okay, I got to go. Josh is going to be here any minute.”
“Maybe you can do both of them simultaneously. Now, that would be one hot summer fling.”
“Stop,” I put my phone between my ear and shoulder as I buckle the straps of my high heels. “I gotta go. Talk to you later.”
“You better. Have fun, boo,” she says in a peppy but almost demanding tone.
“Bye,” I hung up the phone and headed into the lakehouse. I’m sure Josh is in there waiting on me. I walk inside and see Colt standing in the living room. His back is turned to me as he looks out the window with his hands in his pockets. The suit must have been tailored for him because it fits perfectly, accenting his broad shoulders, bulging triceps, and sculpted back. I want to stare at him a little longer and admire the perfect piece of art before me, but I’m afraid he’ll catch me looking.
“Hey,” I say, walking closer to the couch. “Where’s Josh?”
“He just called me, and he asked if I could drive you since he planned on drinking.”
“I could have driven myself. He knows that. I used to do it all the time in college.” I say, trying to hold back my annoyance.
“He planned on getting shit-faced,” Colt says. “His exact words.” He slips his hands in his pockets. And it makes him look innocent and sweet. Not like a chauvinistic pro football player, but I ignore the tiny butterflies coming to life in my stomach.
What does that have to do with me driving to the wedding? I figured we were already running behind, so I didn’t press further questions.
“Got to love open-bar perks,” Colt says.
He stares at me, looking me up and down. I shift my weight to my other heel.
“He won’t get a second date out of me this way.” I joke, appearing calm even though I was anything but. I’m so out of my element right now. I’m not used to being looked at and dressed up.
I’m waiting for a smart-ass comeback, but it doesn’t come. Instead, he continues to take in my dress attire. I’m wearing a short dress that’s light pink to accentuate my olive skin tone. The sleeves are off-shoulder, so I wore my best strapless bra to hold up my girls. I paired it with white heels to match the white lace in the middle of my dress. I hated dressing up, but the way Colt looked at me, something told me it was worthwhile this time.
“You look beautiful.”
I blinked. His voice was barely audible, not sure if I heard him correctly, but managed to say, “thank you, so do you. Not beautiful, but, handsome.”
A smile creeps in, and this time, he doesn’t hold back. He is smiling wide.
“And I’ll be sure to tell Josh he’s not getting a second date.” His voice is low, husky.
Whoa, is Colt Killian flirting with me again?
“Good,” I say as I move towards the door. If I stand before him any longer, I may go up and change and let my cousin know the hibbi-jibbies got to me. Not that my family would even notice I didn’t attend.
“Do we need to pick up Namoi on the way?” I asked.
“No,” he says with an exasperated breath, like he’s tired of mentioning her name, even though it’s the first time I’ve ever brought her up since living here.
“Sorry for asking. I was just-”
“No, it’s not you. She called, but I told her it would probably be best if I didn’t. Because-” he hesitates, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair.i strand falls in front g his eyes and all I want to do is taste his lips.
“I don’t want her to get the wrong message.”
I tilt my head to the side and feel my eyebrows lift an inch from my eyes. “Wow, guess you're taking the youngster's advice.”
“Do you want to have radio rights or not?” He furrows his brows at me.
“I’ll shut up,” I say, zipping my lips with my finger, and we head out to Colt’s truck.
It wasn’t a long drive to the venue, only about thirty minutes, and I was mentally preparing for Colt to bring up Blake again, but due to my surprise, he hasn’t so far.
“So, how come you and Josh never dated?” Colt blurts out. So, I guess he wants to talk about his other half-brother.
I look over at him with a bemused smile. “I wouldn’t say he never tried to date me, but we naturally became friends. Besides, I’m a zodiac girl. I believe in signs.”
“Signs?” He says as if I told him I believe in Aliens, which I did question their existence since there was a whole universe out there we didn’t know about.
“Ya, you know signs, as in zodiac signs, signs from God. Signs from the universe. Signs. He’s a Leo, so it would never work.”
“Why?” He says, turning his attention back on the road, but I can see the creases in his forehead. He’s interested in knowing why.
“Because he’s fire, and I’m water. Think about it. It won’t work. You can’t put them together.”
He shakes his head. “You’re so weird.” he goes silent, but I can tell I piqued his curiosity now, the way he’s concentrated on the road.
“I have no idea what I am.” He says finally.
“You’re an Aquarius.”
“Oh, so you looked me up?” A half-mooned grin spreads across his face.
“No, you said your birthday is in January, and by getting to know you, I’m going to say it’s at the end of January. So, that means you’re an Aquarius. But to be sure of the type of Aquarius you are, I need your actual birth date.”
“The type?” He says through a laugh. And I ignore how sexy the right dimple of his cheek makes him look along with that perfect voice. It’s no wonder he can get any girl he wants despite being an NFL player.
“Ya. Haven’t you met someone with the same zodiac sign as you, but they are like you in some ways, and in others, they aren’t?”
He scrunches his face up in confusion.“ I guess so. I mean, I don’t know. The only birthdays I’m aware of are my son’s, and-.” he trails off. He doesn’t have to say his name for me to know who the other person he’s referring to is. I try to detour the conversation elsewhere so I’m not taken down a spiral of endless questions of Blake, which would lead to endless memories and bottomless drinking, and I don’t want to get drunk tonight. Sure, I’ll have a few drinks since I saved my calories for this event today. I don’t want to get so drunk I can’t remember this conversation the next day. I’m done with those days.
“You don’t know Bodies’ mom’s birthday? Your mom’s or Naomi’s?”
He side-eyes me. “Should I?”
Wow, that's a really jerk response. This is why I would never be with a jock. God, they can be so damn arrogant. Like, get over yourself. Just because you throw a damn ball around doesn’t make you God’s gift to earth. You may be built like a God, but once you stop training like an athlete, I’m sure you’ll get a dad-bod like everyone else. Or at least that’s what I hoped for Colt’s future. The thought of Colt lying on a couch with a beer belly made me smile, mainly because it would be comical. I can’t picture him fat ever. Not as cut and lean as he is now.
“Anyway, there are three types to every sign.”
“Three types?”
“Is there an echo in here?”
He side-eyes me again, but he is full-on smiling now this time.
“As I was saying, there are 12 zodiac signs, but within each sign,” I make a square shape with my hand. “There are types 1, 2, and 3.”
“Wow, that’s too much,” he says.
“No, not really. I find it interesting. I’m going to guess you are an Aquarius two.”
“Why, because they are handsome devils?” I feel his gaze on me as I continue to look out the windshield.
Yes, dangerously good-looking. I should not be in this car with you again.
“No, because you’re uptight.”
“I am not.” he scoffs.
“You totally are,” I say.
A memory of when Blake and I first met in the hospital pops into my head. How I’m talking with Colt right now reminds me of that first day, and my stomach does somersaults. Maybe that’s why I liked being around Colt. He brought back the spirit of Blake, just us talking like this. But just like with any high comes lows.
“What if you look me up, and it says we are compatible? Are you going to believe it to be true?” he says, and it takes everything in me not to face him and see his facial expression right now.
“Nope, we aren’t,” I say without hesitation.
“Geeze, that was a quick response. Why do you say that?”
“Do you think we are?” I ask him, giving him a sideways glance. And before he can answer, we are pulling up to Jenna’s venue. The mountains in the background were gorgeous, and I could see the river below them. It was a lodge wedding since Troy was somewhat of a country boy like Colt. I know the beauty of the wedding photos would come from the nature surrounding the lodge. We are smack dab in the middle of the Ozark mountains, so there are many hills and greenery to make her white dress pop.
Speaking of hills, I didn’t think of bringing an extra pair of shoes to walk up to the chapel since that, too, sits on top of a mountain.
“Shit,” I curse to myself.
“What’s wrong?” Colt says, opening his car door
“Nothing. By night's end, I’m sure I’ll have boils all over my feet. No biggie.”
Colt chuckles to himself as he looks at my high heels. I was short, so most of my heels were four inches, sometimes five in height. Colt closes his door, rounding around the front of the car to open my door.
“Hop on.” He says.
“Excuse me?” I raise one eyebrow at him.
“It’s either that or I carry you.” And the image of me hopping on his back didn’t sound so bad, but at the same time, I did not want to wrap my legs around his very muscular body. The dress was loose on the bottom but not so loose that I could spread my legs around a 6’ 2” football player.
“I’m wearing a dress,” is all my brain can say.
And before I know it, Colt is taking me into his arms. I squeal at the fact that he is serious, not to mention the storm of butterflies that start swarming in my chest when he grips my waist in his arms. I catch a whiff of his cologne, and I want to squirm out of his arms before this gets any more awkward.
“Is this necessary?” I asked him.
“You know, instead of complaining, you could be thanking me,” he says as I bounce lightly in his arms with each stride.
He was right. It’s not a big deal. Plenty of platonic friends did this stuff. Right?
“Thank you,” I say lightly.
“Besides your cheerleader size, let a man swoop you up any chance you get. You never know, you may like it. Especially if he tosses you onto a bed.” A sly grin spreads across his lips, and I want to slap him. Not because he’s annoying me. But because he looks so damn sexy.
Warmth swarms inside me, and I hate how his words cover me like warm blankets, so comforting. So sweet.
Remember Blake. Colt is a selfish prick. Colt is a selfish prick.
But I could not ignore that he was flirting with me again. Or maybe I was reading too deep into this. Most men thought about sex, so I shouldn’t think Cotl Killian is any different. I’m just another hole to him—a conquest.
“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind the next time I have to climb a big hill in heels again when big brooding men are around,” I say, sarcasm slipping from my lips.
He smiles, and I swear my body better stop reacting this way. Like, I’m excited. Like, I can’t help it. Like, I liked it.
“That’s one thing your cousin would refuse.” He says, peering down at me with those dreamy blue eyes. Those eyes alone will be the death of me. His eyes are toxic and hypnotizing. He was sucking me into his Killian trap.
When I stopped swooning over him, I realized this was the first time he had mentioned Naomi.
Is it because I remind him of her?
“What? To be tossed on the bed?” His statement confused me, so I wanted him to clarify. Does he want to open up about their sex life?
“No,” He says with a stifled laugh. “Naomi never let me pick her up. Or carry her, which I found odd because I never knew why. One time, she ran from me and locked the door until I promised never to try and pick her up again.”
That sounded like Namoi. She had a beautiful face but difficulty keeping her weight down. It’s just the way she was made. I thought she was beautiful all the way around, but she always was insecure about her weight. When it came down to it, we all were insecure about something.
“Maybe she didn’t want to fart on you or something,” I say, playing it off as a joke.
“Gross!” he says. “And I don’t think that’s why. She felt insecure about her weight, I think.”
Yup, that’s why. But I won’t say anything that makes me look like I’m trying to down-talk Namoi to him. I have no idea what type of relationship they had nor why they broke up, and I want to keep it that way.
He sets me down once we reach the top like I was as light as a feather. I thank him again.
“No problem,” He says
He leans close to me as I situate my dress and flatten it down. I feel his warm breath hit my ear.
“Told you I’m a much better ride than Josh.” He pulls back, and I catch a glimpse of those sky-blue eyes. He winks and flashes me that fucking sexy smile, then walks up the hill towards the crowd.
Holy shit. I could get used to his presence. And a part of me wished I never agreed to live in his apartment, and a part of me is so glad I did
Just breathe, Abigail—breathe.
I followed behind him and prayed I wouldn't suffocate tonight.