26. Colt – “Music could ache and hurt, that beautiful music was a place a suffering man could hide.” — Pat Conroy
26
Colt
“Music could ache and hurt, that beautiful music was a place a suffering man could hide.” — Pat Conroy
What the fuck was that. Why did I pick Abigail up like that?
To be a gentleman.
That's it. That’s all it was. To be a straight-up gentleman. Any guy would have done that, right? She smelled so good. Like sugar and cypress, all mixed in one big ice cream cone. It was so sweet, and her body felt like pure heaven like I was carrying a fallen angel. Is that why Blake called his band Fallen Angels? Because of her?
Was I going crazy with so many unanswered questions about him and her? Or was I just going crazy with unanswered questions about Abigail?
And why did I bring up Naomi? I’m not even thinking about her. I haven’t been thinking about her. But I know she would have gotten jealous if she saw me with Abigail in my arms. She would get jealous if I looked at a girl too long, so I wouldn’t put it past her getting mad at me for doing something as simple as carrying her cousin up the hill. She always thought I was doing something behind her back when I never had, unlike many of my friends in the football industry. I respected women.
I saw what my mom did for me. The fact that she raised me all on her own, on top of putting herself through nursing school, was something I would never forget and always be thankful for. And I saw baby pictures. I wasn’t a tiny baby, and hearing Troy talk about Jenna and her pregnancy, I know my mom suffered a great deal bringing me into this world. So, I had the utmost respect for my mom and women.
When I walked into the ceremony, people were already seated. I looked for Josh, but Namoi spotted me right away, not even giving me much of a chance to avoid her. Getting up from her seat, she starts to approach me.
“Hey, there are some open seats by me. Josh went to the restroom but said he would be right back. He said you brought Abigail, which I thought was funny because Josh said he was Abigail’s date?” Her voice rises a smidge at the end of her question, meaning it’s more of an accusation than a question.
“Uh, ya, Long story. But Josh asked me to help his friend out.”
“Ya, he told me. I didn’t even know Josh and Abigail knew each other. But how did you end up at your lake house while Abigail stayed there?”
I see the wheels turning in her head. Her nose is slightly scrunched up, and her voice is somewhat higher than usual. Calm down, Naomi. We are not together anymore. I can let whoever I want stay at the lakehouse.
“The pipes in my kitchen busted while Bodie and I were away at DisneyWorld. Since we were gone for a week, it flooded my whole kitchen and part of the living room. So now, I’m forced to leave my home near the city while my whole kitchen is redone.”
Relief and satisfaction spread across her face. “Oh, I’m so sorry. You know you could have stayed with me. You’re always welcome.” She brushes my arm lightly, looking up at me with those blue eyes that used to make me give in, until things shifted between us. My attraction to her changed when I realized I only liked her because she had blonde hair and big boobs. Once we stopped fucking all the time, and the heat fizzled out, so did my feelings for her. Real quick. Slowly, over time, layer by layer, her true self started peeling off, and in the beginning, she claimed to know nothing about football or how much pro football players got paid. But throughout our relationship, she would make little comments that made me think otherwise. Then, when she failed the test I always gave every girl, I knew it was only a matter of time before it ended.
“Thanks, Naomi, but I doubt you would want Bodie and I invading your space.” I had to remind her about Bodie since she tended to forget I had a son with another woman. I know she wanted to ignore that fact about me. It was so obvious, even now, when we weren’t together.
I looked up at the stage and saw Abigail sitting next to Josh. They were laughing about something. A streak of heat spreads through me, and mental images of them getting close makes me angry. Get it together. You don’t get jealous of women. It’s the other way around.
“We better sit down, the ceremony starts in five minutes,” I told Namoi. I didn’t even want to come, but I couldn’t miss Troy’s wedding. And I know dating Namoi was all out of pure convenience since she was always around when I came home for the season since Jenna and Troy were already serious by that point.
And ya, I know the sliver of hope she keeps alive between us is partly my fault. But when you are from a small town where either the women here had kids, an agenda, or too much baggage for me to want to carry on my shoulders, it was easy to go back to what’s familiar. Naomi was easy to be with until she wasn’t. But I was a man. I still had needs. But even this, sitting next to her, will give her the wrong idea. I could feel my body stiffen at the thought. I know being at weddings made women's brains think crazy shit. I’ve been to plenty of weddings to know women tend to get the case of the y’s. Horny, lonely, or a combo of both which equals vulnerable.
I brush past Abigail and sit next to Josh since there are two empty chairs. Namoi joins me.
“Isn’t this wedding beautiful?” She says, placing a hand on mine. I look down, and my eyes fixate on her hand over mine.
Fuck, she’s already trying to claim me.
I look over at her face, and it’s beaming as she takes in the flowers, lights, and fancy decorations the pastor sits under.
She’s mesmerized.
I’m glad Troy joined the Arizona Cardinals. We’ve become good friends, but sometimes I wish he was single like me so I didn’t feel obligated to attend these events where Jenna’s cousins would always be at. Naomi was semi-obsessed with me, which I thought was hot at first, but now, I find it almost irritating in a pathetic sense.
“Ya, gorgeous,” I say through a clenched jaw. Namoi was doing that thing where she ignored the energy in the room and acted like everything was perfect even when it wasn’t. She lived for perfection.
Namoi wanted a perfect life with an ideal husband. She always told me how perfect I was. But the truth was, I was far from perfect, but she never really dug deep to try and get to know me in that way. Half the time, I felt we were long-distance friends rather than boyfriend and girlfriend. She hated opening up about anything. Hell, I don’t think I even saw her cry, not even when her Dad died.
“I still don’t know why she didn’t want bridesmaids,” she glances at me gristly. “ I mean, we grew up with each other. How are we not supposed to be offended by that?”
“Maybe because she just didn’t want to have any,” I say, shrugging my shoulders.
“Well, that’s selfish.”
I stare at her. “No, it’s not, it’s her wedding. Besides, she's pregnant. She doesn’t want to look fat compared to all her friends and family on her wedding day.”
She scoffs as she folds her arms over her chest. “I guess.”
I’m thankful when the music starts playing, and Naomi is forced to shut up. Mental note to self: Talk to as many girls as you can tonight, and don’t stay in one spot too long so Namoi can’t linger. Thank God there is alcohol at this wedding.
After the ceremony, I decided to follow my plan and mingle. “I bet you eat plenty of protein.” Some tall chic says, and I fake laugh for the hundredth time tonight. It’s been an hour after the ceremony, and I felt like I was on the field playing football as much as I was moving around. Hors d'oeuvres were being passed along with champagne, so I tried to introduce myself. I’m almost glad Jenna didn’t allow children at the wedding. I know Bodie would be bored out of his mind now.
I’ve called my mom twice to check up on him, and Bodie has been doing fine. She made him dinner, of course, and then they played a card game and fed the horses. They are now eating ice cream and watching a movie, A Pet's Life, one of Bodie's favorites, and winding down for the evening.
“Well, when you train 52 weeks a year, you got to get your protein in.”
The ladies chuckle as I take another sip of my champagne. I didn’t want to get drunk since I was driving, but the champagne wasn’t cutting it. I need something more robust.
“If you’d, ladies, excuse me. I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t go too far.” One of the women shouts as I walk off.
I head straight for the bar. Tents covered the whole reception, with a dance floor in the middle and two stations where the bars were set up. Troy and Jenna have been taking pictures for about an hour now, along with their families, and I told myself I would leave shortly after they cut the cake. My mom offered to let Bodie stay the night so I could enjoy myself, but I was used to a routine, so having a curfew for myself, even at this age, didn’t bother me. Plus, it gave me an excuse to leave early. Even though Jenna was pregnant, Troy told me they rented this venue until one in the morning. He wanted to party it up, and I couldn’t blame him. Not only is he a married man now, but he’ll be a dad soon, and he has no idea what he has in store for him. Kids are blessings, don’t get me wrong, but they are the most demanding creatures on this planet. It’s why Bodies’ mom couldn’t handle being a mom. She was too selfish and had the patience of a two-year-old toddler.
“Hey, man,” Josh slaps a hand on my shoulder as he comes up behind me. “Been looking for you. Cool wedding, huh?”
“Ya, it’s beautiful,” I say as I scan the tall trees and picturesque mountains behind the chapel. The sun was setting now, making it more breathtaking as the little fireflies and stars blended in with the LED lights on top of all the white tents outside.
“So many damn pictures, though. Thank God I shaved.” Josh says, rubbing his chin. Even though Josh was twenty-two, he still looked twelve to me.
I laughed lightly. There were at least two hundred people here, but when you invited your whole NFL team and had only pro-athlete friends, you can bet plenty of pictures would be taken.
“I wanted to thank you for picking up Abigail. I’m already feeling buzzed,” he says in a sing-song tone, which annoyed me because it reminded me just how different we are regarding maturity.
“Ya, it was no problem,” I told him.
“I just knew there would be plenty of hot chicks tonight so that I couldn’t miss the golden opportunities floating around me, ya know what I mean.” He nudges my shoulder, but I don’t budge. I’m at least four inches taller than Josh and had an extra fifty pounds of muscle. “And it’s summer. I got to get my groove on.” He sways his hips back and forth. I give him a stoic expression.
“Oh, man, I saw you chumming it up with the ladies tonight. Lots of different ones, too. Tryin' to go for that Menage-trois, perhaps? Huh, huh?” He smirks, and the twinkle in his eyes tells me he is well on his way to a drunken stooper.
I have no intention of taking any girl home. Especially Namoi. I have been living back and forth from Arizona and here. I’ve had my fair share of enjoying the perks of being a pro football player and crazy sex in a state that’s not very far from Las Vegas. I lost count even of how many girls I’ve slept with since being an NFL player.
Honestly, sex became a drug, an addiction to the point it wasn’t even fun anymore. It’s part of why I wanted to take a break from Naomi. Although I slowed down a lot when I met her, my mind was still warped from all that sex. That’s the thing about this business,we are praised and glorified, but no one sees the inner turmoil we struggle with when being thrown all this attention and money. It’s why I consciously read a book one of my coaches told me about. Rich Dad, Poor Dad. It changed the way I thought about money and my father altogether. Not that I had him on a high pedestal, to begin with.
“No, I plan to go home after Jenna and Troy cut the cake.”
“Really? You’re kid-free, man. Live it up!” He throws his hands up the air.
“How much have you drank already?” I narrow my eyes on him.
“Not that much. I’m just excited because you see those two chicks over there?”
I look over at the direction he’s pointing at.
“Ya.”
“Well, they both want to suck my cock until I see stars. Those are their words exactly, dude. This may be my first three-some, so I’m not risking it. If they tell me they want me now, I’m leaving.”
“That’s great, man,” I say as I approach the bar counter.
“Can I take a vodka with cranberry juice?” If I did drink liquor, it was always the clear stuff and never more than two.
“With that said, I was wondering if you could take Abigail back to the house, ya know, since you guys are going to the same place anyway.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be her date?” The bartender handed me my drink, and I started to walk off. Josh follows.
“Ya, but trust me. If you told Asher to leave now, she would. This isn’t her thing. She probably took some pictures with the group, and that’s it. She hates being looked at or having her photo taken. Whenever we went out, she offered to take them or said she had to run to the bathroom when she knew pictures were about to go down.”
“She did?” I say, not caring if I sound interested. Why did she not think she was pretty? I don’t get it.
Yup, I was officially losing it. I never tried to figure out anyone, especially when it came to a female.
“Believe me, I’m doing her a favor. Besides, do you have a little thing for her? I saw you eyeing her tonight at the ceremony.” He points a finger at my chest as he sways a little.
“What? No. I barely know her. And I’m pretty sure you are drunker than a skunk.” I barely push him with my pointer finger, and he falls back.
“Dude, no, I’m not. I get it. Trust me. She has no idea how gorgeous or cool she is. She’s the coolest chic I've been friends with, which is weird because I don’t have girls as friends.”
“You certainly don’t.” I pause to take a sip of my drink.
“But my point is…I get it.” He says with a sly smile.
“No, you don’t because there’s nothing to get. First off, she’s twenty-one. She just barely made it to the legal drinking age. I look at her like I look at you.”
“Which is what?”
“A kid,” I emphasize.
“Perfect, then look at it as if you're helping my sister out.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. I was honestly not even annoyed when he asked me. I was at first, but now, I don’t know. Something’s shifted, and if I acted too eager, then he would notice. The little shit saw stuff like that with me. He was intuitive, just like Blake was.
“Fine, I’ll do it. But only if you answer one question.” I take a sip of my drink.
“Sure. Shoot.” Josh tips his glass off to me.
“You guys never, ya know…”
“What?” He says, scrunching his nose and raising his eyebrows at me.
“You know”
“Oh. Oh no, not even close, man. Why?”
Because I won’t feel as guilty if only one of my brothers had a crush on her and for wanting to fuck her in every position possible, putting porn stars to shame.
“Just curious. And Josh-” I say just as he walks off.
“You didn’t know she knew Blake, did you?”
“No, I had no idea. But now that I do know. It makes sense.”
“What does?”
“Her love for certain music, and especially-” he looks down at the ground before looking back up at me. “Those sad eyes every time she makes a wish”