12. Kade #2
"Everyone in this house," I say, and my voice is quiet enough that I barely hear it over the blood rushing in my ears, "seems to be under the mistaken impression that they're free to make their own decisions without consulting me.
And that's my fault. I've been too lenient, and far too fucking generous.
But it's about to become crystal fucking clear that this isn't a democracy.
" Click. "It's a totalitarian regime." Click. "And I'm the fucking tyrant."
"Technically," Cyrus says, because he can't help himself, "it's usually a dictator with totalitarianism."
"Shut the fuck up, Cy."
Ellie peels herself away from Jinx, wiping her face with the back of her hand. The mascara makes her look like an angry little raccoon. A raccoon hopped up on enough benzos to tranquilize a horse.
"It's not a big deal," she insists, sniffing. "It's just anxiety medication. It's prescribed, like I told you."
"Yeah?" I tilt my head pointedly. "And I found her in the bathroom with her prescription up her nose."
Cyrus's eyes widen behind his glasses and that poker face folds.
Jinx looks at Ellie, his eyes widening. "You're snorting them?"
She jolts. "I… it just works faster that way, okay, it's not—"
"That's incredibly fucking dangerous, Ellie.
" Cyrus takes his glasses off and presses the heels of his hands against his eyes.
"And you're drinking with them. You know that could kill you, right?
Do you understand that benzodiazepines and alcohol depress the same neurotransmitter pathways?
Your respiratory system could just... stop and never start again. "
"It's not that many drinks," she says, and the many says everything she's too chickenshit to admit. Or sneaky. Haven't figured out which yet. "I'm careful."
I ignore her, all of them, and walk inside.
She runs after me. "Kade. Kade, wait!"
I ignore that too, taking the stairs three at a time. Her footsteps are frantic behind me, struggling to cover the same ground in twice as many steps. Her hands scrabble at my jacket at the top of the steps, desperate to stop me from reaching her room.
I shirk out of her grasp and head straight for the closet.
"Kade, don't!"
I start tearing through the clothes until I feel something in a jacket and pull it out. A bottle full of the same pills she was snorting in the bathroom.
Cyrus and Jinx are in the doorway now, effectively blocking Ellie in as she stares at the pills like I just found the loaded gun in a murder investigation.
"What are these, Princess?" I look to Cyrus. "You know about these, too?"
His expression doesn't change. "We found them earlier. We were figuring out what to do."
Ellie's head whips around and she has the balls to look betrayed.
"There are more in that box," Jinx says quietly, his tone defeated. "Under the mattress. Empty bottles and booze."
"It's not what it looks like!" Ellie cries, her voice lilting an octave. Then her desperation turns to anger. "You went through my fucking shit while I was gone?"
Jinx fixes her with a sad, disappointed look. "We're a bit past personal privacy, Princess. You're one bad night away from killing yourself."
I'm already reaching under the bed, pulling out the box with all the empty bottles. I take out the pills I found in her sweater, and the ones from the coat, and line it all up on the vanity with the vodka, just so she has to look at it.
An entire fucking pharmacy.
I pick up the first bottle and pop off the cap, ready to dump it in the toilet.
"NO!" Ellie lunges for me and I sidestep her, but she gets a fistful of my shirt and yanks. "Kade, please, you can't, please! I need those!"
The desperation in her voice burns away all my anger, and all that's left underneath is the fear. Fear and realization of exactly how bad this has gotten, right under my nose.
I'm more angry at myself than anyone.
Tank appears in the bedroom doorway, filling the entire frame. His dark eyes sweep the scene, and he looks about two seconds away from charging in first, flattening everyone but Ellie, and "rescuing" her from her rescuers.
What the hell is going on? he signs.
"This is a fucking intervention." I hold up the bottle in my hands, rattling the pills. "Our little princess has been popping pills. And snorting them. Oh, and drinking, which could fucking kill her, FYI."
"And she has a dealer, apparently," Cyrus mutters.
I stare at him. That's new.
Ellie's face goes blank. Even she knows better than to argue with that, but I know she's thinking of ways to try.
"Cat's out of the bag now, Princess," I tell her, but there's no triumph in it. "Might as well come all the way clean."
That goes for all of them.
But I don't need to say that. That's for us to sort out later and right now, we need to present a united front.
Tank looks at Ellie. I watch him searching her face for the lie, for the version of this where we're all wrong and she's fine. Tank would believe the sky was pink if Ellie said so, and we're all fucked if she does. No one more than her.
Her eyes are wide and her hands shake as she looks at him, and I can tell she's warring with herself.
Is she going to lie, even to him?