12. Kade #3
She opens her mouth to speak but all that comes out is a cracked little strangled sound.
"It's… not a big deal." Her voice splinters into tiny, trembling pieces "It's fucking not. He's not a dealer, he's just some guy I get pills from when the pharmacy is fucking around."
The tears come, but she doesn't even try to wipe them away this time. I'm not sure she even notices.
Jinx takes a careful step toward her, like she's a rabbit ready to bolt at any second. And to be fair, she looks the part. "El. How many of these are you taking in a day?"
She stares at the floor, her teeth closing down on her bottom lip.
"I don't know," she whispers, shaking her head. "Just when I need one."
Tank's hands drop to his sides. I watch his massive frame sink and I recognize the helplessness on his face above the mask because it's the same fucking thing I feel right now. We just both have different ways of dealing with that feeling.
Tank can put his fist through a wall and snap a man's neck without even blinking. He can absorb a beating that would kill most people and walk away.
There aren't many things he can't protect her from.
This might be one of them.
"I'm getting rid of these," I say, turning toward the bathroom, because someone has to do something.
"No!" Ellie screams. She charges and Cyrus catches her from behind, arms locking around her waist and lifting her off her feet. She kicks and thrashes nearly as viciously as she did with me, but he doesn't budge.
"Kade." Cyrus's voice sounds strained from the effort of restraining her. "You can't do that."
"Why the fuck not?" I ask, turning around.
"At the rate she's been taking these things—" he grunts as her elbow catches his ribs, and holds her tighter, "—it could kill her to go off cold turkey.
The withdrawal alone could cause seizures, cardiac arrest, permanent damage.
She has to taper gradually, and under supervision. I've been researching.
Of course he has. Because he and Jinx have been walking around knowing this for God knows how long, figuring out ways to deal with it under my nose. Why doesn't that fucking surprise me?
The only reason I don't think Tank knew until this moment is that look on his face. The helpless fear when he studies Ellie, the way he studied all the injured strays he brought home when we were kids, not knowing how to help without making it worse.
He's why I know how to fucking splint a kitten's leg, because the vet was closed on the weekend and he was scared his hands were too big and clumsy to do it. But this is a little beyond what popsicle sticks and gauze can fix.
I grip the bottle so hard the cap bites into my palm. Every instinct in me wants to dump these into the toilet and watch them dissolve, because that's how I fix things. I burn them to the ground and I destroy them. I make the problem fucking disappear and that's that.
But this isn't a building, it's Ellie.
"Fine." My teeth grind together. "Figure out exactly what she needs to get clean safely.
Dosing schedule, timeline, whatever the fuck it takes.
But in the meantime…" I look at each of them.
"She's not to be left alone for a single fucking minute.
Not at school, not at home, not in the shower, not in this room. "
Ellie goes limp in Cyrus's arms. The fight drains out of her and what's left is raw fear. "You can't," she says, her voice cracking. "I can't just... people will notice. They're really going to notice me going missing this time."
"I don't give a shit, Princess. You keep fucking with that shit and we're going to end up burying you before we ever get to Todd."
"Kade, please." Her voice pleads, but I can tell from the glint in her eyes there's fight left in her yet. She's just switching from aggression to manipulation, but I'm well versed in both.
"You belong to us." The words come out harder than I mean them to, but I don't soften them. What's the point now? All the cards are on the table. "And you can't be my pet if you're fucking dead."
"Kade," Jinx says quietly.
I ignore him. We're done dealing with her their way.
"You freaking out right now," I say, and my voice is quieter than it's been all night as I look at Ellie, coming apart in Cyrus's arms and trying desperately to pretend she isn't, "is just proof you need this."
Her jaw clenches and a fresh, hot tear tracks through the mascara.
I look at the rest of them. "From now on, her leash is tight.
I call the shots. On everything." I hold each of their gazes in turn.
"That goes for fucking all of you. No more questioning, no more keeping secrets.
Everything and everyone she has access to goes through me.
She doesn't fucking eat or piss without my seal of approval.
Anyone who has a problem with it can get the fuck out. Now."
The room goes silent except for Ellie's ragged breathing and nobody moves.
Not even Tank.
I nod once and set the pill bottle on the vanity with the others.
"That's what I fucking thought."