Chapter 12 Rowan #2
Cade exhaled, leaning back in his chair.
“In the meantime, you'll keep training, Rowan. Shifting lessons in the woods will continue. It's imperative that you develop your senses and control. If anything goes wrong, you'll have to be able to shift on command. We’ll also start combat and self-defense training. You can’t afford to be helpless.”
“I’m not helpless! I think I proved that when I killed that direworg last night, and those alphas that attacked me!”
Killian came to my defense. “Little Bird bites,” he said with pride in his voice.
Talon’s eyes gleamed with intensity. “Your wolf is strong, and her instincts are good. But you couldn’t even summon her last night without being chased through the woods.
You need control and discipline. And the alphas you killed?
You caught them by surprise. The next ones will be harder to kill than that. ”
“So you’re saying the only reason I’m alive is because I got lucky? Thanks, Talon.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Pet.”
“Wow. Great. Thanks for the pep talk.”
“Don’t take it personally, Kitten,” Ryker said with a chuckle. “Tally here’s just hard to impress. I think you’re a badass for killing that direworg. Saved Killian’s ass, too.”
Talon rolled his eyes, and Ryker just grinned wider.
The two of them started bickering back and forth about whether I could defend myself until Cade’s bark cut through the noise. “Enough!”
He sighed, rubbing his temples. “This isn’t up for debate. Talon’s right. Rowan’s instincts are good, but her control is lacking. She needs extensive training, and we have to be careful not to get caught while she’s learning.”
“So what, you’re just going to keep dragging me into those infested woods at night and hope I don’t get eaten by a direworg?”
Cade shot me a warning look. “We will protect you, Rowan. We’ll start small, form a perimeter while you shift, and stay alert.
They don’t normally travel that far south, but I underestimated how much has changed since we’ve been gone.
During the day, we’ll focus on strength training and self-defense drills.
Our packmate-bond is complete now, and your scent has muted, so you can go, accompanied, to the training facility on base. ”
I perked up at that. It meant they were letting me off my leash, finally giving me some breathing room. How long had it been since I’d left our dorm for anything?
Sensing my excitement, he reiterated, “accompanied,” just to drive home the point that someone would watch me every second.
My mind raced, replaying everything we had discussed: the science visitation, Cade calling me helpless, and the need to gain control over my wolf.
Talon caught my inner monologue, and his attention turned to me. “You’re not completely helpless, Rowan. But right now, you’re unpredictable, and that’s dangerous for all of us.”
“Okay, okay, I get it,” I said with a sigh. “I’ll train, listen, and learn. I’ll do whatever you all tell me to, and I won’t complain.”
Ryker laughed. “You say that now, but I give it a week before you’re back to getting spanked for calling Cade a control freak.”
“Because he is,” I muttered.
Cade groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You all test my patience.”
“Yeah,” Ryker said, smirking at me. “But you love us for it, boss.”
For the first time since I’d known him, Cade’s lips twitched like he was fighting a smile. “Don’t push it.”
They went over a few additional topics before Cade finally dismissed everyone. I stood, but his hand closed around my arm.
“Hang back a minute, Rowan. I need a word with you. Alone.”
“Uh, sure… what about?”
“Just come with me,” he said, standing and heading down the hallway.
I followed, nerves prickling as we stopped near the locked door at the end of the hall.
Cade reached into his pocket, pulling out a key.
I’d always wondered what was behind that door, but figured it was probably another bedroom, maybe even mine eventually.
Was Cade finally going to let me have my privacy back?
When the door swung open, I froze. The sedative had left me mellow and detached, but the sight before me sent my pulse racing again.
Cade stepped inside and motioned for me to follow. “Do you know what this is, Rowan?”
My face flushed, and I nodded hesitantly. “I think so…” He waited, so I continued. “It’s for my heat, right? A nesting room?”
“Yes. When you joined our pack, Arca assigned this housing to us and moved our belongings in. Every pack with an omega has a room like this. I wanted to show it to you so you could become familiar with the space. Your heat is coming soon, and you need to be prepared.”
I said nothing at first, just looked around the small, cozy room.
There wasn’t any furniture or windows, just a massive, thick, padded mat that covered almost the entire floor.
The cushioning ran several feet up the walls.
In the corners of the room, someone had stacked blankets and pillows in every color and texture imaginable.
Then my eyes caught on the far wall. A paddle, whip, and rope hung neatly from hooks.
Cade noticed where I was looking and chuckled. “Talon supplied those. He’s… enthusiastic about your upcoming heat.”
My eyes went wide. “He’s going to use those on me?!”
“Yes,” Cade said matter-of-factly.
“Why would he want to hurt me?”
“Talon enjoys that kind of play. He always has. But it’s not just for him. Omegas often need a little pain during heat. It helps to ground them, keeps the heat from dragging on too long, and reduces the strain on your body.”
“Omegas need pain?” I repeated, blinking.
He tilted his head, studying me. “Yes… Rowan, do you really not know what to expect when you go into heat?”
“Yes! I mean—no. Not really.” I winced, fumbling over my words. “I remember what happened when we first met, when I went into heat and begged you to—” I stopped, cheeks burning. “It was mortifying.”
Cade’s expression softened, though surprise flickered across his face. “You really never learned anything about being an omega, did you? Weren’t you even a little curious?”
“No,” I admitted. “I didn’t want to think about it and just pretended I wasn’t one.
I thought no one would discover my secret or that I’d ever go into heat, so I ignored it.
Guess that was stupid of me…” My voice cracked as tears welled in my eyes.
“I’m nervous, Cade. I don’t know how to make a nest, or what I’m supposed to do.
I don’t know how to do any of it right.”
He stepped closer and pulled me against him, his low purr vibrating through my chest. I buried my face in the crook of his arm, breathing in his scent as he held me steady. His hand moved to my back, rubbing in circles. The rhythm of his movement matched the low grumble of his purr, comforting me.
"It's okay not to know. Instinct will guide you, like it's been doing. Your body knows what it needs, and we know how to read your body. We'll all be there to take care of you. You won't be alone, Rowan."
I pulled back, looking up at him. His intense amber eyes met mine.
"You make it sound easy." I said in a whisper.
"It's not," he said sternly. "When you were detoxing, your first heat could have killed you.
After ten years of suppressant use, nothing about this will be typical.
And now that you're bonded to us all, it will be intense. The connection will overwhelm you. You won't always be in control and that’s why you have to trust us.”
“Trust,” I repeated softly, the word catching in my throat. "Is that what we're doing now? Trusting each other?"
“Yes. Trust that we’ll keep you safe and that we know what we’re doing. That we know what your body needs. No one here will hurt you, or give you more than you can handle.”
I wanted to believe Cade; I really did. The way he asked me to trust him, with such sincerity, was reassuring. While overbearing, controlling, blunt, and infuriating, he was also so steady and reliable. The way he looked at me now, telling me he would care for me, so sure and unwavering, calmed me.
"When the time comes, you'll be driven to make a nest. You can arrange it however you like. Don’t worry about doing it right; it will be perfect, because you made it," he said, motioning to the linens.
"Your heat should last between 24 and 48 hours.
During that time we'll take turns monitoring your needs, checking your vitals and knotting you. You'll be… cared for."
Cade then turned and headed for the door, motioning for me to follow. As he locked the room behind us, he glanced back at me.
"Lie low for the rest of the day. Just try to relax and stay calm. Maybe watch some movies with Ryker. You’ll need to be clear-headed for the science visitation tomorrow. No arguments, no attitude, and no mistakes. Understood?”
“Yeah, yeah. Behave, lie low, don’t shift. I got it, Captain,” I said with a mock salute.
His eyes narrowed, studying me for a long moment. “You’re never going to fall in line like a conventional omega, are you?”
I met his gaze, a spark of defiance curling at the edge of my lips. “No, sir.”
For a second, something shifted in his expression. His lips tilted up in the faintest ghost of a smile before he turned and walked away.