Chapter Two #2
With the blood washed away and his insides shaking, Shadow dried off.
He grabbed a fresh robe. Shadow kept his chin up and headed for the room he shared with Rain.
Even though Rain was his person, Shadow couldn’t talk to him about this.
He couldn’t talk to anyone. If even an overheard whisper of doubts made its way back to the colonel, he was fucked.
All he could do was wait to be in Ridge’s arms. That was the only place he was free.
He spotted Ridge heading for his bedroom two doors down from Shadow’s room. Shadow couldn’t yell his name, but he couldn't stop himself from a stage whisper.
“Ridge.”
Shadow watched Ridge’s body stiffen in a way he had only seen when Ridge dealt with superiors.
A pit opened in Shadow’s stomach. He had nothing to go by other than his gut.
Then Ridge turned and Shadow saw his eyes.
They were dead. No warmth or happiness looked back at him. He didn’t even greet Shadow.
Shadow rushed ahead. “Hey. Did they keep you later than usual?”
Ridge’s jaw ticked. “No.”
The yearning chasm inside him widened. “Okay.” He shifted from foot to foot. “I guess I’m just used to you waiting—”
“I saw,” Ridge said, cutting off Shadow.
Had he watched? Please God. He couldn’t know Ridge saw him—what they made him do. “Oh.”
Malicious humor flashed in Ridge’s eyes. “Yeah. Oh. Did you get your nights mixed up? Maybe you just forgot to tell Commander Kuznetsov you had other plans.”
The confusion cleared. Horror set in. He had been grateful as hell for whatever kept Ridge from coming to him last night.
Otherwise, they would have been busted for sure.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t tell Ridge why the commander had been there.
Rain had sworn him to secrecy. The commander had threatened him with a death so horrific, even a heartless assassin like him cringed in fear.
He felt sick. “It’s not what you—”
“I listened at the door,” Ridge snapped, cutting him off. “I heard his moans.”
Shadow snapped his teeth together. He loved Ridge, but he also loved Rain. Rain had been degraded and humiliated enough without anyone else knowing. It wasn’t as if anyone had any hopes of stopping it.
He swallowed, fighting back the cries of injustice that choked him.
Shadow couldn’t look directly at Ridge any longer.
If he denied it, Ridge might believe him and put two and two together.
With nothing left for it, he gave Ridge a sharp nod.
With his shoulders squared, he stepped inside his bedroom and closed the door.
He kept his movements measured. Shadow might have just lost everything, but that didn’t mean he had to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing how much they stole from him. It was officially everything.
The driver’s side door opened, making Shadow realize he was home. He had no memory of the drive, nor did know how long he had sat there. Clay went down on his haunches. His hazel eyes looked more than a little concerned. “You good? I knocked on the window a few times before trying the door.”
Had he? Damn. Maybe Shadow would finally slip into complete madness. “Sorry. I guess not getting enough sleep is finally catching up with me.” Even to his ears, Shadow sounded dead.
Clay held out his hand. “Come on. I’ll help you up the stairs.”
Shadow glanced around. He didn’t want to go back to the emptiness of his bedroom.
“Okay. What would you like to do instead?”
Damn. He was so out of it, he hadn’t realized he had said that out loud. “Um. Do you like to dance?”
A bright smile lit Clay’s face. He was a handsome guy. Clay looked friendly too. “I don’t know how to dance, so it’s not really a matter of not liking it.”
“Get in. Let’s go to the dance studio. Today can be your first lesson.
“Um.” Clay let out a nervous laugh. “Are you sure you should be driving?”
Shadow felt lighter by the second. “We’re not even leaving the property. Don’t be a chickenshit.”
Clay’s smile somehow got even brighter. “Chickenshit in that accent is actually funny as fuck.” He straightened. “All right.” Clay closed Shadow’s door and circled the car. He jumped into the passenger seat. As if extra proving he wasn’t scared, he didn’t put on his seatbelt.
Shadow didn’t force him. They were literally driving a few buildings over. Shadow just didn’t feel like walking that far and he sure didn’t want to walk back after dancing himself into the ground the way he planned to do.
At the dance studio, Shadow didn’t waste time. He got the music fired up and had Clay tripping around the dance floor in no time. They laughed as Clay stepped on Shadow for the hundredth time.
Clay cried mercy. “Okay. I’ve made a big enough fool of myself. Let’s sit for a minute.” He held on to Shadow’s hand and moved to a nearby table. Clay pulled out a chair for him before sitting.
Shadow felt better. Lighter. He needed to laugh. There wasn’t as much laughter in his life since Field married. The gang’s big red-haired jokester was busy healing in the arms of his new husband. Field deserved that. Shadow would survive.
“Is it okay if I ask you a personal question?”
Shadow didn’t hesitate. “Of course.” Clay knew what Shadow did for a living and Clay was no Boy Scout either. He was an open book.
Clay wiped his palms on his thighs. He looked nervous. “Um. That big blond guy who comes around sometimes. Is he your boyfriend? I’m not trying to assume your sexuality or his. I’m just curious how he fits into your group.”
Yeah. Clay was definitely gay. Zeus brought everyone to their knees, eventually. “No. Do you want the absolute truth?”
“Yes.”
Shadow was actually having the best time. He liked that Clay didn’t know everything about him. “He’s a master and owner of a sex club I frequent.”
A blush exploded across Clay’s face. “Oh.”
He was an enigma. The guy worked security for a huge weapons dealer, seeing God only knew what, and he blushed.
Shadow couldn’t stop. “You should go sometime. One way or another, you’d have a great time.”
Clay’s face couldn’t get any redder. “Oh. Um. Okay. Maybe one day.”
Shadow’s face hurt from smiling.
The studio’s door was thrown open so hard, Shadow was surprised it didn’t come off its hinges.
Ridge stormed inside. Shadow watched his long stride and enraged face cross the room, making the space between them smaller.
Before Shadow could figure out what he had done this time, Ridge snagged his jaw and hauled him forward.
His mouth covered Shadow’s in one of the hottest kisses of his life.
Years fell away. Shadow tried like hell to hang on to his sanity.
He wasn’t strong enough to do anything but take it. His heart screamed.
Ridge pulled away, but he didn’t release Shadow’s jaw.
He still looked enraged. “If you ever disappear again like that for an entire night, I’ll make Zeus’s punishments look like child’s play.
You’re not his. You’re mine. If you can’t fucking remember that, then I suggest you buy some goddamn Geritol.
You do not want me to remind you.” He stormed away in the same fury as he had arrived.
Shadow blinked. He couldn’t think. His gaze slid Clay’s way. “What just happened?” He knew Clay didn’t know, but his brain wouldn’t work.
Clay smirked. “I think he just threw the ball in your court.”
Well, goddamn. Shadow hadn’t seen that coming. Now what was he supposed to do?