Chapter Three #2
“You didn’t give up. If you had, you wouldn’t be here right now. What they wanted was someone who couldn’t and wouldn’t form attachments. You’re attached to this family. They didn’t want you to have the capacity to love. You didn’t lose that. You love me.”
Despite the seriousness in Ridge’s tone, Shadow laughed. “What I love is how sure you are of yourself.”
“No. It’s not confidence. You tell me in your sleep.”
Shadow’s laughter slipped away. “I’m not always asleep.”
The whispered confession still hung in the air when Shadow’s back hit the mattress.
Ridge was on him. His tongue filled Shadow’s mouth.
Ridge’s body surrounded him. Heat seared through him.
Lust engulfed him while Ridge tore at the small amount of clothes Shadow wore.
He felt too much. Shadow was overwhelmed.
He hadn’t expected Ridge would touch him again.
They were supposed to be over. His heart was even more on fire than his body.
All the anger in the world hadn’t killed the desperation inside Shadow to be with Ridge.
He wanted time to freeze and leave them in this moment.
“Please.” The whispered plea ripped from Shadow’s soul in between kisses.
He wouldn’t be whole again until he had Ridge inside him, proving this was real.
Shadow still expected Ridge to shove him away and remind him why Ridge hated him.
Shadow had done nothing but dig his knife deeper into Ridge’s heart since Ridge tried apologizing.
He hadn’t found the line of hurting Ridge enough to make him feel the way Shadow did.
Yet Shadow still felt Ridge missing from him every second.
Ridge shifted positions, settling between Shadow’s thighs. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t have any lube or anything.” He massaged Shadow’s cock.
Shadow would take it. He adored the sensation of Ridge’s bare skin against his nude body, but still.
“Are you serious?” Why wouldn’t he have lube?
Then again, Ridge had never brought anyone here.
It was possible whoever he went to for pleasure kept everything they needed.
Hot coals of jealousy burned in his stomach.
“There’s no reason.” Ridge never stopped stroking him as he made the confession.
“Why?” Shadow couldn’t stop pushing. Maybe he searched for a reason to cling to the armor of his anger. The more Ridge touched him, the more Shadow recalled the heartbreak.
Ridge kissed the tip of his nose before moving to his cheek. His lips found their way to Shadow’s ear, making goosebumps rise on his skin. “There’s only one you.”
No, seriously. There was no way.
Ridge didn’t stop. “For me, it was never over.” He sucked Shadow’s neck and pumped Shadow’s cock. “I’ve just been waiting for your forgiveness.” He said the words against Shadow’s skin. “I couldn’t screw up anymore.”
Shadow didn’t believe. He couldn’t. “You’re lying.”
Ridge stopped, making Shadow wish he had kept his mouth shut.
With his weight braced on his palms on both sides of Shadow’s head, he pushed away and held Shadow’s stare.
The light breaking through around the curtains gave Shadow just enough light to see the truth in Ridge’s gorgeous light gray eyes.
“You know every need was taken from us. Human connection means nothing to me. You’ve always been the only exception.
You’ve always been the only one who makes me feel and ache.
When I look at you or think about you, I’m someone else.
You’re the only thing I need to survive. ”
They had been stripped of their emotions, or at least taught how to suppress them and hide them.
Emotions and dependence on any desires got people killed.
No attachments. No anything. Just service to their country.
But Shadow couldn’t call Ridge a liar again.
He knew Ridge too well, and Shadow felt the same.
Ridge was all he saw in his head. He was the only one who made Shadow feel this way. They knew each other.
“I’m sorry.” Shadow’s apology came out sounding shaky. He felt closer to tears than he liked. “I never meant to steal your life.”
“You didn’t. I threw it away when I told you we were over. But I want it back, beautiful.” He stroked Shadow’s erection, which wouldn’t go away with Ridge holding him. “I have to know you’re mine. Otherwise, there’s nothing.”
Shadow ran his hands down Ridge’s sides before moving to memorize his chest and abs with his fingertips. “I’ve been yours since you asked me to sit on you. It seems nothing can break that.”
Ridge shot forward and covered Shadow’s mouth with his.
Talking flew out the window. There probably was a lot of shit that needed to be said.
It looked like they had more time for that later.
Plus, Ridge no longer toyed with him. There was no teasing.
Ridge proved he hadn’t forgotten a thing about Shadow’s body.
Their tongues battled.
Shadow’s hips lifted, seeking more. Every second that passed, he lost a little more control. When Ridge finally tugged him into a powerful orgasm, Shadow lost all control. Pride. Everything flew out the window. A cry tore from him that turned into pleading.
“Holy hell. I want you inside me. I don’t give a fuck what it takes. Nothing is right without you.”
To his shock, Ridge didn’t turn him down with the no lube thing again.
He swiped his fingers through Shadow’s cum and used it to get Shadow wet.
It was hardly enough for this, but Shadow genuinely didn’t care.
This wasn’t physical any longer. He needed the connection.
Shadow had to know he made Ridge come. Even though Ridge eased his way inside, Shadow still could barely take him.
Just when he thought he had made a mistake, Ridge hit at the right angle and Shadow saw stars.
“Oh my God. Like that. Don’t stop. I need to watch you come.”
Ridge held Shadow’s legs, keeping total control as he pumped inside Shadow.
He made short thrusts that kept Shadow completely focused on every minute detail.
His fingers dug into Ridge’s forearms like he tried to keep Ridge from escaping.
When he had begged Ridge to fuck him, Shadow hadn’t truly thought he would get a second orgasm.
Now he was on the precipice and there was no going back.
Shadow stopped breathing. Everything focused on what Ridge did with his dick.
When the spring winding tighter inside him finally snapped, a cry tore from his throat.
Ridge lost control. He slammed inside Shadow over and over, riding Shadow’s orgasm.
When Ridge threw his head back, straining toward the edge, Shadow couldn’t look away.
He knew the moment would sear into his brain.
The knowledge doubled when Ridge blew. He didn’t make a sound.
Ridge dropped his chin and held Shadow’s stare with fire burning in his eyes.
That was when Shadow knew it was all true.
The love. The waiting. All of it. Shadow would be damned if Ridge ever suffered again.