Chapter 20 - Eligible
It was almost too bright.
The large ballroom at the Queen’s castle was haphazardly but lavishly decorated. Floor-to-ceiling windows decked with curtains, red painted over white, so fresh the colors still dripped on the checkered marble floor. Oversized playing cards hanging from the ceiling and ornate chandeliers cast a warm, golden glow on the festivities. The Queen’s soldiers, dressed in their vivid tartan uniforms, lined the perimeter of the dance floor like a frame. Diagonal tables were set out on the fringes, along with awkward, slanted chairs that nobody could sit on. Nobody was allowed to sit. Everyone was required to dance.
Musicians dressed in elaborate glittering masks and fascinators played whimsical, offbeat music. The dance floor was alive with a peculiar mix of Wünder citizens and royals twirling and dancing in their eccentric costumes of silk, feathers, sequins, and glitter.
Notably, most of the merry courtiers and nobles were congregated at the front end of the room.
Away from me.
I was nursing my whiskey at a tall table I had conjured up by the sidelines near the grand staircase.
Everyone knew well enough to avoid me. Everyone knew who I was, what I did.
Princes and escorts twirled their lovely dancing partners in the farthest area of the dance floor, wary not to stray too close to my natural charms, or happen to find themselves on the wrong end of my heart-carving skills.
The Queen of Hearts was a vision herself, dressed in her resplendent regalia, sitting on a less elaborate but just as giant throne at the head of the room.
The heart in my chest squeezed. I willed my hands not to shake as I struggled to block the fresh, horrific images of my family’s slaughter from my mind.
I knew it was pointless to be enraged all over again. My knowing this changed nothing.
I didn’t remember much else about what had happened. I was certain the Queen wouldn’t tell me even if I dared ask.
The reason behind the massacre wasn’t clear to me yet, but it wasn’t unusual to suppose that the Queen’s actions were motivated by one single thing. As they almost always were.
Her pointed nose turned up, the Queen watched the extravagance before her with a pleased smile. The sole purpose of everything here was to amuse her, and like the puppets they were, the citizens of Wünder danced and whirled to the lively music, amidst the twinkling glow of fairy sparkles flitting about.
Chez appeared out of thin air and hopped up onto my table.
“Chez.” I acknowledged him with a flat tone as I downed my drink.
I checked my pocket watch, trying to ascertain how much time might be seen as appropriate for me to waste here. This ball was the last place I would have ever wanted to be. In the back of my mind, I was already forming an escape plan. I was certain the Queen was planning some sort of trap for Allie once all this ludicrous dancing was over and I needed to be ready for it.
“The Duchess wishes to see all the frivolity,” Chez relayed.
Fetching the looking glass from my pocket, I propped it onto the table. I waved my hand and the mirror glimmered into a vanity mirror with a gilded frame. The Duchess’s round face peering around it filled the small reflective surface.
“Last year’s ball looked better.” She sniffed, almost in a disdain that was obviously masking jealousy.
Chez snickered. “My mistress is a bit displeased that she was not extended an invitation to this particular ball.”
“Where’s Allie?” the Duchess prompted.
As if on cue, several of the courtiers’ eyes roved upward. A titter of gasps and murmurs moved through the colorful crowd.
I glanced up in time to see Allie walk out of one of the rooms right above the ballroom itself. She headed toward the grand staircase, and for the first time in my near-immortal life, my jaw dropped.
It was almost as though she was gliding instead of walking.
Allie’s ballgown was rich crimson in hue, with delicate lace and vintage beads. The abundant skirt of the dress flowed to the floor, its train dragging on the polished marble floor behind her. The tight bodice around her waist created a dramatic hourglass silhouette. Her wavy hair was swept up in an intricate braid with delicate ringlets cascading down the sides of her face, almost caressing her bare shoulders. The low cut of the neckline showed off her graceful neck, not to mention accentuated her inviting curves.
She was…breathtaking.
Elegant.
Ravishing.
Her eyes glittering at the finery, Allie’s gaze was already roving the opulence surrounding us. There was a soft smile on her face as she descended the stairs, fingers running lightly along the railing.
The heart in my chest beat faster, registering her wonder and fascination.
Her gaze met mine right away. Even from halfway across the room, I could tell Allie’s breath caught in her throat.
My heart skipped a beat and my grip on my glass tightened.
I snapped my jaw shut. I couldn’t walk up to her. I shouldn’t.
Her chest heaving, Allie was frozen in her stance as well.
But before Allie could linger any longer, a gentleman dressed in purple velvet and suede approached to take her arm.
Snapping to attention, Allie broke into another smile and nodded as she let him lead her to the dance floor.
I clenched my jaw. Taking a deep breath, I turned my back to the ballroom to lean against the table. I swirled the remnants of my drink in its glass, trying to focus once again on our escape plan.
“Ooh,” the Duchess cooed as she struggled to peer around the room. “I think the Queen has selected some very specific kingdoms to attend this evening. These must be all the eligible royals from all the kingdoms across Wünder.”
I blinked. Eligible?
Chez scratched his furry chin. “Perhaps the Queen wants Allie to be placed into another kingdom.”
“I suppose that makes sense,” the Duchess rationalized. “She’s of a good age to be wedded.”
I glanced over my shoulder just as a prince from another smaller kingdom whisked Allie away. That nerve ticked in my cheek again. This time, I couldn’t look away. I wanted to see. I wanted to watch in case I spotted a clue in their interactions that might confirm the Duchess’s assertions.
Eligible?The word repeated in my head like a scream, a taunt. I had another urge to flip the table right over.
“Do you think all these men are bespelled to be attracted to Allie?” Chez mused out loud.
I almost scoffed in mocking. She was already the most beautiful thing in the room. I couldn’t help a brusque murmur. “She doesn’t need it.”
“There’s a veil over this party.”
My gaze snapped back to the cat. “A spell?”
“Some sort of honesty spell,” Chez relayed, his nose high in the air as he sniffed.
I huffed again. Such weak spells would not affect sorcerers like me but…
The Duchess let out a curious swoon. “Ooh, I suppose the Queen didn’t want all these eligible bachelors to lie about their prospects so that Allie could choose fairly.”
An undefined aching in my chest warred with the joy I was feeling from Allie. She was laughing at some lame joke from another gallant courtier. Some measure of wanting to rip him to shreds was nagging in the back of my mind. I didn’t want that courtier laughing with her, touching her arm, whispering in her ear.
That almost stolen moment Allie and I had at the clock tower before the Queen’s invite flooded my senses. The feel of her in my arms, that scent wrapped all around me as I held her. My neck burned at the recollection. I’d wanted to stay like that. I’d wanted…
I frowned as I recalled the Duchess’s words from before.
If she falls for you too…
Too…
Was it even possible? Had I fallen for Allie?
How could it be possible for me to have fallen in love at all?
I had no heart of my own. I had been rendered devoid of feelings for centuries.
Was having Allie’s beating heart inside my chest changing me? Or could these perhaps be mere echoes of Allie’s own feelings? Was she starting to feel warmly toward me? And were these her feelings reflected on me?
What makes you think I want to stay here forever?
Deeply frustrated, I shook my head to clear it.
They couldn’t be Allie’s.
The Queen standing up from her throne caught my eye, as it did everyone else’s. I imagined the Queen was about to give a tour, showing off the marvelous hedge mazes behind the castle as she was wont to do, and leave everyone else to their merrymaking.
“Oh! Did you see that lady there with the big, ugly—” The Duchess’s disparaging statement cut short as she disappeared from the mirror, leaving only the view of her conservatory of plants behind her, but her voice was floating through, “Hold on, Ham. I’m talking to my Rabb.”
“What?” The Duchess’s tone turned ominous. “What?” When she asked again, my alerted gaze snapped over to the small mirror. The Duchess’s tone was tinged with a dread that instantly filled every kind of suspicion in my mind.
“Duchess?” I prompted.
Chez glanced from me to the mirror, his interest piqued.
The Duchess’s round face returned to the mirror, her eyes already marred with concern. “Rabb, I’m afraid I have some news.”
I clenched my fists on the table. “What is it?”
“One of my servants overheard the castle staff,” the Duchess relayed. “It is a trick. We were correct. The Queen is trying to marry off Allie. But more than that. If Allie chooses to give her love freely to any of these men, her heart will unlock and the Queen will be able to claim it.”
Rage surged in my chest. What?
The Duchess shook her head. “I told you, Rabb. If her heart fills with love, she is lost.”
The trap wasn’t after the ball. The ball was the trap.
I gritted my teeth as a powerful, hot streak of anger and frustration welled up inside me, nearly overflowing. I almost felt my skin sizzle with the overwhelming burn, which if I didn’t keep in check, might actually set the entire ball on fire.
No.I had to make sure none of these unworthy oafs left Allie with a good enough impression for her to fall for them.
I stopped short, my bargain with the Queen screaming back to my mind.
I wasn’t meant to interfere.
I was supposed to stay away.
I glanced toward the glass doors leading to the gardens through which the Queen and some guests had disappeared.
Before I broke the stem of the delicate glass in my hand in frustration, I set my drink down.
To hell with it.
My eyes pinned solely on Allie, I stalked toward the middle of the dance floor. The ballroom could have been filled with twice as many people. I would only have seen her.
The crowds parted instantly to give me a wide berth. Nobody missed my approach, except Allie.
Belatedly noticing her partner had stopped dancing, Allie paused in mid-whirl. Catching sight of my forbidding form right behind her, her gasp caught in her throat once again. Surprised, she straightened up. “Rabb, what—?”
I cut her off. “Come with me.”
Blinking, Allie bit her lip but she merely turned to give her current oaf an apologetic look before turning on her heels to follow me across the room.
Stopping near the edge of the dance floor, I held my hand out to her. “Take my hand.”
Her hand was warm when she placed it in mine. Giving her a slight tug closer, I propped my other hand on her lower back just as the strains of music began.
I wasn’t meant to interfere.
But, I rationalized, it was just one dance…
An eerie orchestral waltz reverberated within the hall from the masked musicians and I took one step to gently lead Allie, gliding to one side in a box step, in time to the lilting rhythm of the three-beat measure.
Forward step, side step, close step, backward step…and then again.
Her honey-brown gaze never left mine as we swept across the floor in a continuous rotation.
The skirt of Allie’s gown flowing behind her, she moved gracefully as I led with each step. Her hair fluttered as she swayed from side to side, around me.
All I needed to do was make it look like I already had her favor to intimidate the rest of her prospective suitors. When I shifted my hands on her back, inwardly I reveled in the gratifying sense that Allie wasn’t pulling away from my notably possessive hold.
Allie’s gaze on me was almost imploring, tentative.
But above all, always curious.
When she gently interlaced her fingers with mine, the length of my arm tingled.
As the enchanting music swelled, I twirled her out and when I pulled her back against me—too close, her warm breath grazed my cheek. Her intoxicating fragrance filled my lungs. Allie’s cheeks tinged pink. I couldn’t help my gaze dropping to those sweet, red lips.
I started to ache.
To want.
Blinking quickly to clear my head at the dangerous thoughts, I pulled back again. Making sure to keep a good distance from the warmth of her body, we danced until the soft strains of ominous music faded away.
Just one dance.
I dropped her arms unceremoniously and spun to leave. Regret weighed on my chest in an instant. I’d made a bargain that I wouldn’t interfere. The Queen would have my head. My mind raged in near helpless frustration. She was never going to be mine anyway. Could I sacrifice Allie to the Queen’s evil plot? In exchange for my survival? My freedom?
I climbed up the stairs. I had no desire to stay at the ball any longer. I didn’t want to stand and watch Allie meet and dance with more suitable royals seeking to wed her.
In my haste to leave, I must have missed Allie’s withdrawal from the ball. She was clattering up the stairs to follow me. Turning in surprise, I paused in mid-stride.
Allie stopped by the upstairs railing. “Rabb, are you okay?” She peered at me, that crease of concern back on her forehead.
Still frustrated, I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I thought I had to interrupt you. I can’t explain right now but—”
She waved my explanation away. “Oh, no, please, it was fine,” she assured. “You actually saved me from trying to find an excuse to get away.” A sheepish smile came to her face. “It was amusing for a start. Everyone was so friendly. But to be honest, this really isn’t my kind of…occasion.”
Sighing, Allie fiddled with the beads on her skirt. “I don’t suppose it’s yours either.”
I didn’t bother to respond as the statement stood for itself. Given our short period of acquaintance, she certainly knew me well enough.
For a few moments, we both simply watched the goings-on of the festivities below us.
She leaned her elbows against the balcony. “I have to say this is significantly more enjoyable than the last banquet I attended.”
I cringed. She was referring to the Veridia wedding where I had massacred everyone.
I, the monster.
Tamping down the urge to tear my own hair out, I resolved to accept the inevitable. Or if I couldn’t accept it, perhaps I could be honorable enough to at least acknowledge it. “Have you thought about what the Queen said? Did any of the other kingdoms seem appealing to you? Somewhere you might find your place?”
She pursed her lips in thought. “I don’t know. I sort of got the feeling that the Queen seemed intent on marrying me off, but really, I just need somewhere to live. I suppose that caterpillar was right. I would get used to life here eventually.” She shrugged. “Honestly, I’d be happy in any kingdom that gave me a workshop, a small space to build my machines and experiments.”
The heart in my chest skipped a beat.
Because I could give her that. My clock tower already had that space for a workshop for her. Not a kingdom, but…something.
“You know,” Allie went on to venture. “Somewhere quiet, somewhere away from everything…” She added offhandedly, “I don’t even care if it’s a bit cramped, as long as it’s a nice, cozy place with a great view, perhaps somewhere high up…”
A bit puzzled, I met her gaze.
Wait—was she actually describing my clock tower?
I furrowed my eyebrows. “What are you saying? Are you saying you want to—” I stopped. “Allie, are you saying you want to stay with me?”
At the incredulity in my tone, her face fell. “I know I’m a nuisance, a bother—”
“No.” I stopped her right away since it wasn’t mocking in my tone, just perhaps a sheer sense of relief or perhaps disbelief.
My eyes caught the faint red glow of magic carpeted above the ballroom.
The truth spell.
Allie may have been immune to my spells but perhaps she wasn’t immune to this. I replayed what she’d said in my head. I wanted her to say it again so I could be sure.
Her gaze dropped, she fidgeted on her feet. “Earlier, in your chambers, I thought…I could feel you.”
I blinked, stunned.
All this time, because I carried her heart, I had been feeling her feelings. But perhaps it had only seemed one-sided because I’d never had real feelings for her to feel in return before.
“Oh god, maybe I was merely projecting my own want onto you. Maybe I just imagined it.” She averted her gaze, an almost embarrassed flush on her cheeks. “But I thought I could see myself…in the way that you were seeing me. And—it was…lovely.”
I couldn’t help the blooming warmth of release spreading inside me at her words, at the soft smile on her face.
The heart in my chest started to beat faster. I shook my head, murmuring, “You didn’t imagine it.” Perhaps Allie had no idea how beautiful she was. Her spirit. Her curiosity. That stubborn-ass courage. “You are more than lovely.” I couldn’t help the husky rasp in my tone. “And the only thing that’s wrong with you is…you said you weren’t mine.”
Allie visibly swallowed, almost as though she was concealing her elation. Her forehead creased in a slight uncertainty, she gazed up at me in wonder. “You want me…?”
The heart in my chest pounded harder as the truth sank in. “And…you…” I almost couldn’t believe I was about to speak the words. “You want me…”
She let out a nervous laugh, leaning back against the railing, unintentionally exposing more of that beautiful bare neck. Her voice shook to remark, “Feelings, huh?”
This woman…I had to resist the most powerful, savage impulse to swoop down and taste that neck, to claim her right then and there… Or perhaps throttle her right then and there. This woman…
Scrunching her nose up at me, Allie lifted her hand. “You’ve got a bit of confetti in your hair—”
I caught her hand fast, her gasp was nearly inaudible as she met my gaze again.
Her honey-brown eyes glittered.
I had quite literally never felt this way before.
My stomach was in knots. It was as though I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt tight. I wanted to keep staring into her eyes. I wanted to bask in her smiles, touch her face, take her in my arms, and never, ever let go.
I craved her.
Swallowing hard, I turned her hand toward my face, unable to help the urge to press my lips against her palm. I felt her warmth. I brushed a soft kiss along the sensitive skin of her inner wrist.
Her breath hitching, her mouth dropped open—but not in protest. She wasn’t pushing me away. Instead, she pressed her free hand against my chest. There was a quirk in her smile. “My heart is beating so fast…”
I bent my head, my face hovering close to hers, my voice dropping to a low husk as her closeness already mesmerized me. “What are we doing?”
Leaning against me, she tilted her head up, her eyelids half-closing. “Something mad.”