3. Chapter Three
CHAPTER THREE
V iktor, Age 10
“Hurry, Viktor!” Alexie screamed at the top of his lungs, red in the face from all the running we’d done.
“One minute, I’ve got to get a drink first,” I hollered back, rushing inside of the house.
It was a pleasant Sunday afternoon. Every week, the kids that had ties to the organization came to the compound with their parents. Their moms went into the kitchen or parlor, to talk about all the adult things we weren’t allowed to listen to. Meanwhile, the men went into my father’s office. The one time I had gone inside to hide during a game of hide-n-seek, my father found me and hit and yelled at me.
They filled the house with the smell of adult drinks, tobacco, and heavy perfumes. I hated having to navigate through cigar smoke, because it made me cough. I clung to the walls, trying to get back to the door without suffocating.
They banned all the kids from playing inside the house during these gatherings. No matter how cold it was outside, if we wanted to play, it had to be outdoors. My father had some men build a jungle gym and a treehouse. My father clarified it wasn’t a gift, but a tool to keep us occupied, and out of mischief. But it didn’t help. My brother Alexie was always getting us into trouble.
The heir apparent.
Alexie wasn’t just favored above me. He was first born. Not by that much. A few months, since our moms were pregnant around the same time. My father didn’t seem to care about the oddness of that. All the other kids claimed them and their siblings shared the same parents. But not Alexie and I.
We had different moms. They kept mine in the basement, while his could roam wherever she pleased. I didn’t understand it. But the one time I brought it up, I was told I would understand when I was older. Even though I was older than I had been, I still didn’t understand what went on between adults.
When I came back outside, my brother was set on scaring the younger boys. Alexie swore there was a monster in the forest behind our home, hidden in the caves along the shoreline of the lake. That was where we were heading. All because Alexie had to prove to the boys that something scarier than our fathers existed.
Spoiler alert, there wasn’t.
We ran as hard as our little legs would take us. Alexie was in the lead, but there were boys lagging. Obviously, the Italian kid didn’t understand that this was a race.
I jogged beside him. “Leonardo, pick up the pace,” I urged.
“Shut the fuck up,” he panted.
I shook my head at him and ran up ahead. Leonardo and I have never gotten along. He was better friends with Alexie, even though my brother didn’t see eye-to-eye with him, and Leonardo was always pushing Alexie’s buttons.
Leo was a bully. He’d always been one. When we were younger, he used to steal my milk bottles. Then it was my toys. Before long, he started hitting me just to do so. I still tried to be nice to him, because my mom always said that kindness above all would help make a man out of me, which was a saying that annoyed my father enough to beat me, if I brought it up.
“You are such a slowpoke, Viktor!” Alexie shouted.
The other boys turned to laugh at me, and I could feel myself turning red from embarrassment. “At least I’m not as slow as Leo!”
They didn’t even look back as they kept running, laughing amongst themselves, and leaving me behind. I thought nothing of it until a snarl came from behind me.
“What the fuck did you say?”
Suddenly I was pushed from behind. I fell to my knees. Before I could respond, a sharp pain stung the back of my head, and I was shoved onto my stomach. I tried to clear the dizziness from my eyes. My head throbbed.
Leonardo hopped onto my back, using his body weight to keep me pinned. I squirmed beneath him, trying to buck him off.
He gripped my hair in his fist and lifted my head, before slamming my face into the dirt. “Cat got your tongue now, stronzo? ” he prodded.
Dirt stung my eyes, and I couldn’t breathe out of my nose. I then heard the snick of a pocketknife opening. In full panic, I tried to scramble away from him, but he pulled me back and shoved his knee in my spine.
“Let me up,” I demanded.
“You aren’t going anywhere until you apologize for disrespecting me.”
“It was a joke. You know the guys are always making fun of me.”
I felt my eyes well with the unfairness of it all. I tried to suck the tears back, but he was heavy, and I was in pain and exhausted. Leonardo was two years older than me, and he was grinding into my back with his kneecap.
“That’s fucking stupid.” He held the knife to the back of my neck. “Stop moving.”
I felt the blade press right at the nape. My father called it something specific, but I couldn’t think of the proper word right now. All I knew was; if he slid the knife across it, I wouldn’t be able to walk for the rest of my life. I froze.
“If you won’t apologize,” Leo snarled, “I’ll just have to disrespect you like you did me.”
I often heard my father say similar things to my mother when I listened at the basement door in the kitchen. Then my mother would start screaming. It happened every time my father went down to visit. I never had the courage to ask him what he was doing to make her cry and scream so much. I didn’t want to know.
Leonardo sat up, shifting his heavy weight to my thighs. The sound of tearing fabric met my ears, as Leo’s knife left my neck and slid down the pocket seam. Then the boy grabbed the material and tore it the rest of the way, ruining my pants with his makeshift drop seat.
“Stop!” I yelled.
But then he did the unthinkable. He pulled down my briefs.
“Don’t!” I hollered. “You’re going to get us in trouble!”
He returned the knife to my neck and pressed hard. Warmth trickled down under my ear. “Stop moving. Pay for what you did. Just lay still. I’ll be quick.”
The sound of his belt unbuckling and him drawing down his zipper, was nothing to the horror of his body slapping against mine, as he repeatedly shoved his penis inside me. I sobbed from pain and shame.
I wanted to block out Leonardo’s disgusting grunts but couldn’t. Not when he was whispering in my ear how good it felt. This was the worst torture, but it didn’t last long. I felt warmth flood my passage, and he stopped.
“Did you like it?” he asked.
Suddenly, he was pulled from my back. When I looked over my shoulder, Alexie was kicking and stomping on Leo’s exposed dick. Then my brother started punching the crying kid in the face, until blood spurted. Leo, his pants open and half down his legs, curled himself into a ball and begged Alexie to stop.
But Alexie didn’t.
For once, I wasn’t afraid of the lunacy behind my brother’s gaze. It comforted me.
Then my brother reached over, picked up the knife, and took justice into his own hands. He slit the boy’s throat.
Coated in blood, Alexie helped me up. He took off his jacket and tossed it at me. “Tie that around your waist. Don’t let the other kids see you.”
With a nod, I did as he told me and ran home to hide.
???
“How could you allow that boy to fuck you like that?” My father spat, ripping the closet door open. He removed the cat-o-nine from the top shelf. “Are you a suka?”
“ Nyet .” Alexie stepped forward to protect me. “It’s not his fault.”
“It is!” Father snapped, slamming the closet shut. “Death would have been a better choice, but he feared it, and it made him weak. So he took it in the ass like–like, well, like his suka mat!” My father spun and looked at the ceiling like he was praying. “I bet he screamed like her too.”
“Father–”
He walked toward Alexie and cast an adoring look toward him. “You did well, son. You handled the threat with the shrewd efficiency of a fearless leader. I can’t wait to announce you as my official heir. No more power games. No more training. Soon you’ll be a man.”
I could see the resigned sadness in my brother’s expression as he stepped aside. I would have to face my father’s wrath alone.
I held back the bile as I looked upon the instrument of pain that we in the household had become too familiar with.
The party was long over, having ended early because of Leo’s demise. Alexie had claimed to the boy’s parents that Leonardo had pulled a knife on him during a disagreement, and that it was self-defense. But I saw the look they both had when they saw their kid’s pants unbuckled. They knew. They knew . Which is why they simply said it was a terrible accident of boys being boys, and that Alexie was forgiven.
“Position!” my father roared.
After I removed my shirt, I turned and presented my back. My father expected those being punished by his hand to remain standing in place, not allowing us the comfort of something to lean on. And if we moved away, he’d hit us harder.
“Suka mat!” He shouted before the crack of the tails landed, and fire lanced down my spine. “Slabyy!” Another strike down my back was like hell. “Bespoleznyy!”
On and on it went.
When my body could take no more, I crumbled, nearly unconscious. From the darkness in my brain, I heard my father order his men to pick me up and put me in the basement.
At least I’d be close to my mother. I couldn’t remember how long it’d been since I last saw her.