Chapter 8 #2
All that calm and control I’d just found? Gone. Tossed out the window faster than…faster than a rotten banana. Okay that metaphor wasn’t metaphor-ing but that was prime testament to how fucked up Evelyn had me!
“Fuck!” I exclaimed, eyeing the mess with exasperation bordering on breakdown.
“Fucking fuck, Evelyn, do you have any idea how hard it’s going to be to get those coffee grounds out from under the stove?
Jesus fucking argh—” I cut myself off with a frustrated sound because that wasn’t what I wanted to say to her.
I had so many things I wanted to say, but we’d both been avoiding one another since I’d literally shot a hot load of cum deep inside her delicious cunt, in a condom of course, but the symbolism remained.
Now it was all just messy, and not in a good way.
“Chill out, dickhead,” she snapped back, sinking to my level in a way that kind of delighted the sick part of my brain. “I’ll clean it up myself if you’re too tightly strung to work out how to use a vacuum cleaner. It’s not that hard.”
My eye twitched so hard I worried I might have burst a blood vessel, and it took all my strength to cling to that last scrap of control I had over my own feelings. If I couldn’t control myself, then—
“Why’d you storm out of class early, anyway?” she asked as she crossed to the pantry where we kept a stick vacuum, but in the process she walked coffee grounds even farther across the floor.
It irritated me enough that I had to intercept her, physically picking her up by the waist and putting her out of the mess. “Forget it, I can do it.”
She scowled, folding her arms. “Why are you like this, Andrew?”
I inhaled deeply, my chest tight and my head a whole scrambled mess.
“Ask my therapist,” I muttered, not interested in giving her my whole sorry story.
More than that, I didn’t want her judgment and disgust if she knew I was responsible for a girl's death because of how much of a fuckup I used to be.
Evelyn shook her head, that purple-black hair wafting the sweetest of mulberry scents my way. “No, not this. I mean why are you like this with me? Why do you hate me so much? Did I cut the hair off your Barbies when we were kids or something?”
I smirked, suddenly amused that she used that example. “Pretty sure I was the one who did that to yours,” I mumbled, raking my fingers through my hair for what felt like the thousandth time today. So much for neat and tidy, not a hair out of place. “I don’t hate you, Evelyn.”
She scoffed. “Could have fooled me. I get that you want to pretend like the other morning didn’t happen, but—”
“Why would you think that?” I asked, cutting her off in horror as I whirled to face her. “You’re the one who’s been avoiding me.” Okay, maybe it was a bit of both. But I wasn’t avoiding her because I wanted to pretend it didn’t happen.
Her jaw dropped. “Excuse me? I was struggling with my trauma and you weren’t around! You’re literally never home, and when you are, it’s like I don’t exist. I went from being your annoying unwelcome housemate to literal ghost with one quick, unsatisfying fuck. Magic.”
I barked a laugh, officially losing my grip on control.
This was what she did to me, all the damn time, made me act impulsively and without plans.
“Unsatisfying? I didn’t realize you made a habit of lying to yourself, because I’d challenge that statement based entirely on how thoroughly you drenched my face in…
what did you call it again? Oh yeah, in your pussy juices.
From where I was standing, I’d say you were more than satisfied. ”
Stunned disbelief painted her expression, and grim amusement gripped me, realizing I’d rendered her speechless.
“Shocked, minx? How about I go one more, since you pushed the issue. I don’t want to pretend nothing happened. I’ve been avoiding you because every time you’re near me I want an encore. I want to feel that tight cunt pulsing around my dick and hear you moaning my name as you come.”
Now that the truth had started spilling, it was like I couldn’t stop. It was too late now anyway. I’d said that much. I may as well complete my humiliation.
“You make me feel helpless and wild and out of control,” I admitted in a harsh whisper, my throat tight with desperation as I tried to work out what she was thinking. She was so beautiful it hurt to hold her gaze. “I can’t get you out of my head.”
She sucked a sharp breath, her tongue darting out to wet her lips while her dark lashes fanned wide around her pretty eyes. “Is that what you want?” she asked with a slight tremble in her voice. “To get me out of your head?”
“No,” I admitted with sincerity. “I want to throw you over my shoulder and take you back to my room. I want to push you to your knees and feel your mouth around my cock while I tangle my hands in your hair. I want to take you for ice cream and watch the fucking sunset. I want you to smile at me the way you smile at Brodie and Ethan, and I want to hold you when the nightmares become too much.”
She shook her head slowly, like she was questioning her own sanity.
Like maybe she was imagining all the shit coming out my mouth right now, and honestly I didn’t blame her.
I’d set a whole new standard of hot and cold since the minute we’d met, so my rapid change of pace was likely making her head spin.
I needed to tone it down and let her think, but the floodgates had opened and there was no going back.
“Well…” she said after a pause, biting her lip as she eyed me with a small frown.
“Too damn bad. None of that would ever be an option unless you offered up some serious groveling for the way you’ve treated me.
The other morning was a mistake, and not one I intend to repeat.
” She paused, her lips pursed. “Unless hell freezes over, or something equally impossible happens. "
Despite the harshness of her statement, that last amendment gave me all the hope I needed.
My head swirled with such an intense dopamine rush I almost swayed.
“Groveling? Like how?” Because I was willing.
I was man enough to admit that I’d approached this whole thing totally wrong.
I had treated her like shit for no fault of her own.
It was all my own damage and taking it out on my childhood crush was only making me miserable.
She gave a shaking, bitter laugh as she threw her hands up. “I don’t know! Get on your knees, crawl to me, and kiss my feet.” She tossed it out as a ludicrous suggestion, like something she herself thought was so preposterous it would never happen.
Clearly, Evelyn underestimated the strength of my conviction on this matter.
I only glanced at the dirty kitchen floor for a second before inhaling deeply and sinking to my knees.
The coffee grounds crunched under my knees and I winced, a shudder running down my spine just thinking about how hard the stains would be to get out.
“Andrew, I wasn’t serious!” she squeaked in shock. “Get up before you give yourself a stroke.”
Biting my lip, I put my bare hands down on the gritty floor and started to do exactly as she’d suggested, crawling across the floor to her while desperately trying to fight the full body prickling sensation of imagined germs climbing my limbs.
“Stop it,” Evelyn protested with a whine of panic.
“Shit, Andrew, I can’t be responsible for breaking the president’s son, for fucks sake.
Not to mention Connor would probably skin me alive for making his best friend malfunction.
Seriously, get up!” She closed the gap between us, sinking to her own knees to physically lift me up from my submissive crawl.
“You want me to grovel, I’m groveling,” I murmured when she manhandled me to sit up on my knees face to face with her.
“You want an apology, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to acknowledge how bad my damage had gotten until you forced the issue.
I’m working on it now.” And I really was.
I’d done video sessions with my therapist every day since we’d fucked, but I was aware this wasn’t an overnight fix.
Her blue-gray eyes were full of compassion and sadness as she twisted her hand in the front of my shirt.
“You’re still an asshole, Andrew,” she whispered as I leaned in, drawn to kiss her like a moth to a flame.
I didn’t care if she burnt me, I just needed one more taste.
“And your girlfriend was just bragging all over campus that you were back together. Regardless of how little I care for Laura, she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on.
” Her voice held an edge of real regret and hurt as she said that.
“She’s lying, we broke up,” I frantically denied as she pushed to her feet. When she froze, I thought I’d gotten through to her. “Evelyn…please…” But with a shake of her head she disappeared out of the kitchen once more. “Fuck!”
What the fuck just happened?