Chapter 12
Ashley
My heart pounds as I pace my small living area and run my fingers through my hair, unable to calm my nerves, the morning’s events swimming.
His face, oh god his face…
I didn’t mean to scream it at him the way I did, but I just… Dammit!
I grip my hair and scream as I fall to my knees and sob, my body trembling as my cries and screams echo through the empty apartment, so much pain consuming me I can’t breathe.
I never wanted him to know, never.
My phone ringing breaks into my crying, but I ignore it as I begin to dry heave, my stomach tightening, the memories of that day flashing…
I feel fingers grip my panties, and I begin to kick and scream, “Get off me! Nat…”
A filthy hand quickly covers my mouth, and a snarly voice growls, “Shut the fuck up, bitch!” as my panties are torn down my legs.
So much pain flitters through me, his haunted eyes front and center and I heave again as my phone rings again.
I try to breathe as I grab it to ensure it isn’t the school, blinking to get rid of the visions, the memories that I haven’t allowed myself to remember, the voice sounding so familiar, and I choke on another sob as I eye the screen.
Doc
I swallow hard, knowing this has to be about Tyler, that he most likely told them, and I contemplate ignoring it when the call is canceled and my tears fall hard and fast before my phone rings again.
I press the green button after four more rings knowing I don’t want them showing up, and I whisper, “Hello?”
“Ashley, sweetheart,” he chokes, “I need you to come to the clubhouse…”
“I can’t,” I whisper back, refusing to step foot in that building again, not after knowing what Ty was doing there, that the brothers who I thought were my family stood back and watched.
“Please, sweetheart,” he struggles, “I-I need you to come to the club, please, you know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important, please.”
I swallow hard as I wipe my cheeks, my heart rate still not slowing, and I mutter, “Fine,” before hanging up and bending as I wrap my arm around my waist and sob, the pain too much to handle as that day burns me from the inside out.
Dr. Chimes thinks I need therapy on my own, that I haven’t fully recovered from my trauma, and I think she’s right.
Half an hour later, with my face freshly washed, I walk back into the common room, a place I always refused to come to.
Everyone looks my way as I enter the building before quickly looking away, and I notice Olive missing.
Scar is standing at the dark oak bar on the right side of the common room with Doc, both looking my way.
I slowly walk down the four steps that lead to the front door and meet them halfway, trying not to look around the room I once saw as home, knowing I’ll picture Virginia and Ty together.
It doesn’t matter if Ty killed her, he still had an affair.
I look between both men and notice the red eyes and the sadness, and I frown.
“Ash,” Scar chokes as he kisses my cheek.
“What’s happened?” I ask, now getting concerned, and Cole comes to mind.
He’s at school, he should be okay.
“It's Trigger, sweetheart,” Doc rasps, his voice raw, and I tense.
Was he in an accident after I confronted him with the truth?
Oh god, is he alright?
Panic shoots through me, but I soon tense as Doc admits, “He tried to commit suicide, Ash,” and everything inside goes cold, and anger, so much goddamn anger fills through me at his selfishness.
He has a son to think of, a family, and he tried to… And why, because he wanted to believe I cheated so he could live out his teenage years that he missed?
Are you kidding me right now?!
I was raped, I lost our baby yet I’m still moving forward for our son.
Doc clears his throat before he chokes, “I saw him speed into the parking lot, barely missing the gate, so I figured I would go after him, but when I walked into your home, he, fuck, he was, he had a gun in his mouth, his finger on the trigger.”
Selfish, selfish, selfish.
How dare he, how fucking dare he!
“I managed to stop him just in time, knocking the gun from his mouth and knocking him out just as it went off, and I’ve sedated him,” Doc struggles to explain, his eyes tearing.
My body shakes, I’m that angry, and I know I’m about to scream and cry my eyes out before I go and find him and finish the damn job. The selfish son of a bitch!
I know I need to leave, and now...
With my chin trembling and my breathing rapidly increasing, I spin on my heel and walk back to the door without a word.
He had no regard for me, no regard for his son.
“So that’s it, is it?” I hear Rocky snap, Tank's dad, and I tense, pausing in my steps. “You’re just going to leave him in his time of need when he needs you most?” he confirms with a scoff, and I turn and lock eyes with his angry gray ones.
Rocky has always been nice to me, but I’ve always been wary of him because when he gets bored, he likes to cheat, though to be honest, I absolutely hate his old lady.
“Do you know why he did it?” I ask, already knowing he doesn’t, that none of them do except for Dirty, who isn’t present, so I’m guessing he’s with my husband, my selfish jackass of a husband.
“Because you won’t admit to the affair you had, wanting to make him the bad guy all the goddamn fucking time, making him miserable,” he growls, and I nod and allow him to see my angry tears as they fall, my pain, and he flinches in shock.
“Funny, because I’m pretty sure that selfish dickhead who cheated on me for a year had found out the truth this morning in our therapy session.
And instead of facing what he has done to our marriage, he chose to try the easy way out not giving a fucking damn about me or his son,” I say firmly despite the tears and his eyes widen at my cursing.
“And what is the truth, Ashley?” Scar asks, and I look at him to see no judgement, only concern in his eyes.
“The truth is he started a year affair with my high school bully, fucking her in a room in this clubhouse while I sat in this very room with our son because I stopped sleeping with him. That I kept pushing him away, unable to let him touch me because I was scared I would make him dirty, that I’d transfer my filth onto him,” I admit and Doc shakes his head, instantly in denial seeing where I’m going.
“Dirty probably already has the video from that day,” I say and look at Scar, “You know the day your old lady decided she didn’t want her son and daughter-in-law going on a date because I was a patch chaser.”
Scar’s jaw ticks as Rocky demands, “A video of what, Ashley?!” clearly needing to hear the words as everyone in this room stays silent.
“A video of me being raped by a man in a denim cut while his friend sat on my back so I couldn’t fight back,” I admit with a choke.
“No,” I hear someone rasp but I don’t look around to who as I lift my arms and state, “So that is my secret, I was raped and today, after digging and digging, claiming I was some kind of fricking cheater when that is all him, I screamed the truth at Tyler. That I was raped, that I-I lost our baby.” My tears fall and I choke, “I was thirteen weeks pregnant and I lost it because of the trauma, and when I tried calling Ty, Virginia answered and said some really nasty shit.”
“Shit, Virginia,” Doc chokes, “She said something about having to do it, that she had to orchestrate it.”
A lot of cursing echoes, and I chuckle darkly.
“So my husband’s mistress orchestrated my rape, nice.” I scoff before turning around again to leave.
“Ash, please, he needs you,” Scar tries to plead and I look his way and remind him, “And I needed him and not once through my grief, my terror did he stop to confront me. He allowed himself to think the worst and chose to get himself a mistress and yet again, instead of choosing me, of choosing his son and living with what he’s done, he decided to be selfish and only think about himself. ”
Scar allows his tears to fall while I wipe mine and state, “For once I’m choosing me, something I have never done.”
I turn and walk out of the door, the need to vomit pulling me, and I quickly turn my head, and bile comes up, my stomach tightening as I heave what little I have consumed today before I slowly stand and stumble over to my car as my tears fall.
I notice the prospect Albert looking at me with concern and makes his way over, but I ignore him as I climb into my car to leave this place for good.
Hopefully now Ty will sign those papers, especially with how selfish he’s been, and I can be free, even if it breaks my heart into a million pieces.