21. Lila
TWENTY-ONE
Lila
“Mykonos!” Nigel, Mark, and Will called out in strange attempts at a Greek accent for the fifth time since we’d arrived on the new island. The girls from our hotel—whose names I’d found out were Baily, Paige, and Kate—shared an unimpressed look with me.
We had shared two taxis when we’d arrived at the Old Port a couple hours ago. And when someone had suggested a girls’ and boys’ taxi, I had probably accepted all too eagerly. Harrison hadn’t been happy about it, but I had scrambled into the back of the cab faster than he could object.
Despite sharing a sweet moment on the ferry, memories of last night still invaded my mind, like an unwelcome visitor.
Any time I’d managed to get myself to meet Harrison’s eyes, all I could see were visions of my humiliation. But this day trip had been a karmic gift of massive proportions. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve this distraction, but I was immensely thankful for it.
The trio of girls were actually great. They were all in their senior year of college and studying abroad in Paris. They had decided to come to Greece on a whim during an extended weekend break. Even though they were only maybe five years younger than me, I felt like their mom. Or, at the very least, their cool older aunt.
“So, you two aren’t a couple?” Paige, the one with short dark hair, asked.
“Nope,” I responded, glancing back at a miserable-looking Harrison.
House music bumped through the DJ’s speakers, and I could barely hear anything even though we stood on the edge of the crowd.
“Mind if I have a go?” Bailey, the most outgoing of the three, asked, tipping her sunglasses down and eyeing Harrison hungrily. I shoved aside the little spark of jealousy that ignited within me.
“He’s not much for flirting,” I said, which wasn’t even a lie. Even if nothing had happened between Harrison and me, and even if I’d never had a crush, I would have bet money that Harrison wouldn’t be interested in any of these girls. They were sweet, but they were young and just wanted to have a good time. I couldn’t see Harrison lasting for more than two minutes in a conversation with any of them.
“Shame he’s so stiff,” Bailey continued. “He could really use someone to loosen him up.”
“Trust me, I’ve been trying.” I glanced at Harrison again, who looked incredibly out of place. He sat in a lounger and slowly sipped a beer, looking like he wished he were anywhere but here. We made eye contact briefly before I tore my gaze away.
My heart went out to him a little. If last night hadn’t happened, I would have asked him an hour ago if he wanted to ditch this party and go back to the town to explore. That was really all I wanted to do. But being stranded alone with him now... I just wasn’t ready for that. Perhaps I was being immature, but shame and discomfort still gnawed at my gut, and I couldn’t quite shake it.
We were at a beach party specifically designed for tourists to get drunk and dance as DJs hyped us all up. Nigel, Mark, and Will were obviously in their element, and hadn’t left the dance floor. The girls and I were having fun, but after dancing for a few songs we had already taken a break at the edge of the crowd.
“You should try harder.” Kate, the most introverted of the three, looked between me and Harrison. “He looks so sad.”
Bailey snorted. “Sad? More like scary.”
Paige nodded in agreement. “You couldn’t pay me to approach him.”
Kate shrugged. “I don’t know. His eyes look sad to me.”
My heart sank at that, because she was probably right. There was a lot more to Harrison than the tough exterior he presented. He’d finally let me scrape away at it and now I was over here, desperate to get some space. The guilt started to seep in. I should never have let that kiss happen. When he’d unzipped my dress, I should have stepped away. I should never have leaned into his touch. I should have?—
“Lily, open up.” Nigel appeared in front of me, attempting to pour a shot of something toward my closed, unready mouth. I dodged it, letting the clear liquor flow to the ground instead.
“Alright, buddy,” I said, lightly tapping Nigel’s chest. “I think you need some water.”
I went to hand him the almost-full glass in my right hand, but as he reached to grab it, his sloppy movement knocked it clean out of my hand. It went sailing toward me and drenched my right side in the process.
“Shit. I’m so sorry,” he said, grabbing my arm.
“You okay?” I hadn’t even noticed him approach, but Harrison was suddenly at my side.
“Fine,” I grumbled, but forced a smile. “I was hot anyway.”
“You’re all wet.” Nigel giggled before Harrison pushed him away from me. It wasn’t aggressive, but it was firm.
“Give her some space,” he said, his voice casual yet somehow still threatening.
Nigel held up his hands. “Okay, I won’t touch your girl.”
Harrison turned back to me as I was assessing the damage. It wasn’t lost on me that he hadn’t corrected Nigel’s words this time.
“Shit.” I held up my tiny cloth bag that was now completely soaked. Since I didn’t have my phone, it didn’t really matter that the bottom of the bag was now drenched. One silver lining, I supposed.
“Are you okay?” Harrison asked again.
“Fine.” I tried to keep my tone casual, but the water was the least of my worries. What unsettled me more was the way his gaze lingered on me, heavy and unyielding. I needed to get away from it. From him.
“Let me get some more waters,” I said.
The dance floor was packed, a sea of bodies moving in sync, but I navigated my way carefully along the edge, dodging the pull of the more enthusiastic dancers as I headed toward the bar.
His presence loomed behind me. I knew he was there without turning to look.
“Can we get out of here?” Harrison asked under his breath, following me to the bar.
“Um, maybe in a bit.” My answer was noncommittal. I wouldn’t mind leaving, but nerves ate at my stomach at the thought of the two of us alone.
The long tiki bar hugged the back of a building that practically spilled onto the sand, acting as the line between indoors and out. Inside, the space was mostly concrete, and although there was a second dance floor, it wasn’t nearly as crowded. I edged my way to the bar and waited for the bartender to catch my eye.
“Can I just talk to you for a second?” Harrison grasped my forearm. The light touch of his fingers sent an electric wave of energy through me. It was almost as if he felt it too, because he yanked his hand away.
“Here?” I yelled over the pulsing music.
“Ideally anywhere but here. But since that's where we are...”
“What's up?” I asked, furrowing my brow. He wasn't really going to bring up last night, was he? Not here.
“Last night was?—”
I held up a hand, unable to stifle a groan. “Not now, Harrison.”
“We need to talk about it,” he forced out through gritted teeth. I couldn’t tell if his pained expression was from remorse or because of how uncomfortable this conversation was about to be.
“Tell you what,” I said, resigned. “Why don't we just enjoy the rest of our time here, and maybe talk about it when we’re back at the hotel.”
“But—”
“But what?” I snapped. His eyes hardened a bit at my curt response.
“Okay,” he said.
My heart twisted a little when he turned to leave, and it took restraint not to reach out and grab his arm. He looked like a wounded puppy. Or a wounded wolf, maybe.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. My short replies were entirely due to my embarrassment, and that wasn't fair to Harrison. We were both adults. We had both wanted things. He hadn’t done anything wrong by being clear and saying he had no interest in a relationship with me. He’d explained it himself—he just didn’t want to hurt me.
While I waited for the bartender, I peeked over my shoulder. Harrison had returned to the edge of the crowd, but I could still make out his tall frame. He kept his eyes on me and didn’t turn away when I met his stare. I offered him a weak smile.
The bartender finally looked my way and poured four glasses of water when I asked for them. I would have gotten more, but feared I would accidentally dump them on myself. If my dress got any wetter, I might as well just jump straight into the ocean.
As I made my way back to the group, I decided it was time to stop making things awkward with Harrison. It wasn’t fair when we’d made so much progress. Our friendship—or the start of a friendship, at least—meant something to me. I wouldn’t ruin it over a silly kiss. Even if that silly kiss and the way his big hands had brushed gently over my skin were absolutely all I could think about.
“Here you go.” I forced Nigel, Will, and Mark to each take a glass from my outstretched hands. Thankfully, they didn’t fight me on it and knocked back their waters.
“We want to go check out town,” Bailey said, her eyes flickering between the boisterous boys and me.
“But the party is here,” Will argued.
“Yeah, we’re just getting started,” Mark agreed.
“Then it might be time to split up,” offered Kate.
“No way.” Nigel pouted and slung an arm around each of the girls’ shoulders. “We have to stick together.”
Kate and Bailey looked at each other, clearly stifling an eye roll.
“I’m ready to go,” I offered.
“Thank fucking God,” Harrison muttered, hovering at my side.
Mark and Will groaned in protest, but Nigel snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it. There are bars in town. We can do a little bar crawl while we explore.”
Paige and Bailey opened their mouths as if to protest, but then shrugged as if thinking better of it. Sometimes, just agreeing with the drunk party animal was the path of least resistance. While I doubted any of us wanted to go to another bar, we could easily sneak off and do our own thing once we got back into the narrow, winding streets of Old Town Mykonos.
“Let’s go,” Paige and Bailey said in unison.
We made our way through the party, back inside, and to the front of the building. There was a U-shaped driveway in front where we could wait for a cab to take us back into town. We called for two and waited.
When the first cab arrived, the girls piled into the back seat. I moved to join them in the passenger seat.
“Wait,” Harrison said, grabbing my arm. “Let’s ride together.”
I looked at the cab, then back to him. “We can’t all fit,” I pointed out.
He looked like he wanted to argue, but I could promise him that there was no way in hell Bailey, Paige, and Kate were going to allow themselves to get split up.
“It’s fine. It’s, like, a twenty-minute ride and we’ll be together again.” I tried to reassure him.
We’d all agreed on a meeting spot at the edge of town, the same place where we’d gotten picked up.
“Twenty minutes,” he repeated. His protectiveness warmed my heart. No matter how strange things were between us right now, he was always looking out for me.
“I’ll see you soon.” I took a chance and winked at him to break the unnecessary tension. The corner of his lip quirked up, and he let me fold into the passenger seat. Once I was secure, he lightly shut the door behind me.
The ride was quiet for me. While the three girls gossiped in the back, I tuned them out and stared out the window. This island was so different than Santorini, yet still unmistakably Greece. Air from the open window beat against my face. It was almost too strong, but I welcomed it. It felt stimulating after the morning I’d had.
I cursed myself again for letting last night get into my head. We were only here for another day and a half. While I’d tried to let go this morning and just have fun, I had been extremely self-conscious the entire time and it was affecting me.
Not anymore. Harrison and I were finally on good terms after all this time, and I wasn’t about to let last night get in the way of that. I was being stupid for allowing his rejection—if you could even call it that—to burrow into my insecurities. Maybe I’d always had a little crush on Harrison, but that hadn’t been based on anything other than the physical. Now, I knew him a lot better. He’d become a friend. I couldn’t ruin that for some fantasy.
Deep in my bones, though, I knew my crush was only getting stronger the more I got to know him.
I sighed and shook my head, attempting to shake the thought out of my mind. As soon as we both got back into town, I was turning over a new leaf. I’d smile at Harrison like I meant it, tell him last night was nothing to worry about, and enjoy the rest of our time here. Then, when we went home, hopefully a fragment of our friendship would remain. It would be beyond strange to go back to the way things were, after all this.
The girls and I got out of the taxi once we arrived on the outskirts of town, right where a main street ended and the narrow pedestrian streets began. We stretched and yawned, the hours spent in the sun making us all a little groggy.
“I need an espresso, stat,” Bailey said.
“Same,” I agreed.
“Once the guys get here, I’m thinking we just drop them off at whatever bar they want to go to and do our own thing,” Bailey continued. “I’m dying to check out all the shops.”
We waited on the curb for them.
And waited.
And waited.
Kate pulled out her phone to check the time again. “Could they really be twenty minutes behind us? I saw their taxi pull up right after ours.”
A knot twisted in my chest. I reached for my phone, but panicked when my fingers only brushed the thin cloth of my bag.
“Shit,” I exclaimed. My heart was full-on racing now.
“What?” Page asked.
“My phone. I forgot it back at the hotel.”
Bailey patted my shoulder reassuringly. “I’m sure it’s fine. They probably just got sidetracked by another beach party, or something.”
“Harrison would not let that happen,” I insisted. Worry churned in my gut.
“Maybe their taxi got lost,” Kate suggested.
“Maybe,” I said, not convinced.
“You can use my phone to call Harrison,” Page offered.
I frowned and shook my head. “I don’t know his number.” Hell, I didn’t even know Charlie’s number by heart. Not having access to my phone made me realize how absurd that was. I needed to memorize a few phone numbers in the future. “Do one of you have any of the other guys’ numbers?” I asked hopefully.
They all looked at me with sympathetic eyes and shook their heads.
Shit.
“I’m sure they’ll be here any minute.” Page leaned into the road, looking for signs of the car.
After twenty more minutes, though, the girls started to get restless. They didn’t have the same anxiety I did that something was wrong. But, at the same time, it hadn’t been nearly long enough to go into complete panic mode.
“Come on, Lila. Come to the shops with us. We’ll still be nearby. They’ll find us once they eventually show up,” Bailey said.
“Yeah, and we can come back to this spot in an hour or two just to see if they’re here.”
I gave them a tight-lipped smile, trying to control the thoughts racing through my brain. Could they have gotten into a car accident? Been abducted? The idea that someone would abduct four fully grown men seemed unlikely, but I really couldn’t think of another reason why they weren’t right behind us. Harrison wouldn’t have abandoned us willingly, that was for sure.
“Maybe their car broke down.” Paige snapped her fingers, as if that were a genius revelation.
“I guess,” I said.
“Or maybe the guys did drag Harrison somewhere else, and he’s trying to corral them, or get his own taxi. You saw them. They’re a bit of a handful right now.” Bailey folded her arms and shook her head.
“Please come with us,” Kate said. “We don’t want to leave you here without a phone.”
I desperately searched the road, hoping that this was the moment I would finally see the signs of the boys’ taxi arriving. But there was nothing.
“Okay,” I finally said, my tone defeated. I followed them into town, telling myself all the while that Harrison had just gotten caught up with something silly. He’d be here soon, and he’d find me. I was sure of it.