Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
LOUISA
M ama Mancini transfers the large pot to the burner. Her grip falters and it drops with a bang. I glance up from the chopping board, waiting to make sure she’s okay. Today we are working on a red sauce recipe she had handed down to her from her grandmother. Culinarily speaking, it’s a huge deal. And the fact she’s sharing it with me makes me so grateful and beyond excited.
“You like this kitchen, bella?” Old eyes peer over the pot at me, her hand stirring at a rhythmic pace.
“I like being in it with you,” I send back over the top of the pot.
“Good, good.”
I crush the garlic and dice the onion as instructed. When I’m done, I scrape the tiny morsels into the pot. We stand, watching the bubbles pop in the surface of the sauce as the fragrant scents of herbs, garlic, and something so very Italian infiltrates every inch of the old kitchen.
The front door opens, sending the small bells jingling. It’s a little early for the lunch rush yet. I lean backward, poking my head around the door to see who it is.
I find a cowboy hat as it slips off a dark head of hair. I snap back straight and press my hands to the wall, letting my forehead meet the wallpaper.
“Oh, now I know who it is.” Mama smiles at me.
Dammit. I’m that obvious. I can’t help it.
And it’s my own fault. Because I knew this would happen. This is what I ran from last time. The flood of every emotion I feel at the sight of him.
“Go, go! I will save you some. And the recipe is in your folder already.” She taps the beige folder under the counter I have been saving the recipes she teaches me in.
“Are you sure? I should stay and clean up.”
She waves a hand at me. “Papa can help me clean up. You go, while I’m still young, bella.”
I chuckle. That saying, while I’m still young , is her favorite.
I untie the apron string at my back with fumbling fingers. I round the counter and walk into the restaurant front room. Harry holds his hat between his hands at his waist. His face lights up with a smile when he meets my gaze. My heart flings against my ribs.
“Hey,” I breathe.
“Hi,” he rasps.
“What—what are you doing in town?”
“Bank. Just at the bank. Had some more things to sign.”
“Oh, good. How’s it coming?”
“Well,” he says, but his jaw ticks. “I mean, it’s on track. We move in next week.”
“Yay! Oh my goodness, that’s so exciting. Are you... excited?”
“You mean for all the long days and millions of things I have to fix? The barns, the fencin’...” His eyes drop.
“You want to go somewhere?”
“What you thinkin’?”
“Let me grab my purse and we go out to the lake?”
“Sure, Lou.”
“Great, I’ll only be a sec.” I bound up the stairs and pluck my bag off the small wooden kitchen table. I do a quick check in the mirror to make sure I don’t have red sauce on my face and grab some chewing gum. Unwrapping the gum, I sail down the stairs and pop it into my mouth as I halt before Harry.
“You hungry?” he asks.
“Sure, I could eat.”
“How does burgers and shakes by the lake sound?”
I chuckle and swing my bag over my shoulder. “Is this a date, Harry Rawlins?”
He smiles at me with his megawatt smile, deep blue eyes lighting up as he grabs the door and holds it open for me.
Be still, my heart.
With a bag full of burgers and fries between my legs, I hold two large paper cups with chocolate shakes. Harry drives us to the lake. Being midweek, it’s deserted. Perfect.
The last time I was here, the community function had this place buzzing. And Brad was hovering. I never heard from him after the dance. Probably for the best. I don’t need more complications in my life. Harry, the diner, the restaurant, and my own peace of mind is more than enough.
He shifts the truck to park and kills the engine. I hand him his shake, and we hop out of the vehicle. We’re on the far side, furthest from town. We could be naked and no one would know.
I scoff internally at the thought.
Harry puts the tailgate down and we sit on it. I put the bag in between us, opening it up, and hand him his food.
He bites into the burger without a word, his focus scanning the water.
“You’re quiet.” I glance at him before biting into my own burger.
He swallows, taking a sip of his shake.
“I’m filtering through all the things I have wanted to say to you over the last ten years. Tryin’ to find one that doesn’t sound ridiculous.”
I sip my drink and set the cup down beside me.
“Well, tell me something I missed.”
He scoffs. “Could take a while.”
My heart flops.
I missed so much. I missed him. I missed the years that formed him into this man in front of me. And he missed mine. We can never get them back.
“Pick one, Harry. You have god knows how long to tell me them all, so just start with one.” His eyes pin me, tightening like whatever’s trapped his mind hurts.
“I was proud, I am proud of you for leavin’,” he finally chokes.
My mouth gapes. “But I?—”
“No, you did what was best for you, Lou. I was an idiot if I thought what I, we, had back then was enough.” He shakes his head.
My heart aches watching him beat himself up for his past decisions. God, I have made some doozies. That’s half the reason I ended up back here. I slide off the tailgate and push between his legs. His head lifts, his eyes finding mine.
“I thought I would find what I needed on the other side of the country, Harry. I couldn’t have been more wrong.”
His Adam’s apple bobs. He blows out a breath and grips the edge of the tray. “Your turn.”
“You want me to tell you something from the last ten years?”
“Yep.” Blue eyes pin me down where I stand.
“Okay... I wanted to be the next Julia Child.” I chuckle as the words leave my mouth.
He frowns. “The who?”
I crack up. Of course, only Harry Rawlins would have no idea who she is. I dot a kiss to his cheek and whisper, “A culinary goddess who gets paid to be on TV.”
Strong arms wind around my waist. His mouth hovers by my ear. “The only goddess I ever met is standing right in front of me.”
Electricity skitters over my skin. My stomach bottoms out as lava glows to life low in my belly.
“Well, maybe she shouldn’t have run away...” I pant.
“I still would have loved her, anyway,” he says, the words raw, gravel.
It’s like a hit to the heart.
I push up and meet his gaze. I knew we thought we were serious back then. Just teenagers. But to hear the words from him now...
It’s both devastating and healing at once. Would have . Not does.
I fold my arms over my chest. “It was a lifetime ago.”
“Lou,” he says softly.
“No, it’s a decision I have been tortured by for the last ten years. I know we were kids. But I never saw it as something premature. I still don’t. That’s why I had to...”
“Had to what, Louisa?” He slides off the tailgate and closes the space between us.
“Why I had the Brad buffer. Dammit, Harry, I have no control over the things you do to me. And that’s terrifying. Because if I let you in, really in. There’s no coming back from that. If you walk away, I drown.”
“Hey!” His hands grip my upper arms, dark gaze burning into me. “You described the exact way I feel about you. Except, I couldn’t leave. I didn’t want to leave. Still don’t. Tell me, Louisa, runnin’ on your mind this time?”
No. Of course not.
I open my mouth to respond.
He goes to break away. I grip his jaw. “No, we’re not doin’ this. This bit where every time I need a minute, it reads as a failure. It’s part of who I am. It takes me a while with this stuff. These feelings. Was the same at the dance. I need you to be patient, please?”
I can see the way he is trying to protect himself. And hell, I don’t blame him. Not one bit. I did run. I broke his damn heart. And that’s one thing I will never forgive myself for. Not ever.
“I won’t hurt you again, Harry. I’ll break my own heart before yours. That much I can tell you.”
His chin wobbles. He shakes his head.
He’s not getting it.
“I can’t take what I did back. But I can make it up to you.”
“Lou—” He presses his forehead to mine. His jaw clenches as he growls through a choked-up breath. “I ain’t worried about me. And you have nothin’ to make up for.”
Then why is he shaking his head?
“But I thought—” I start.
“No. Don’t you dare break that big heart of yours. I’ll take whatever you give me.” His lips push to my own. My hands wander into his hair. Heat sinks in my belly. We have always been fire on fire. His lips trail my neck, and I tilt my head back, drowning in his touch. My panties are wet with need for this man.
“How about we start again. You and me on the ranch. We make a go of it. Find out what happens when we give in to this thing.”
I suck in a ragged breath. “Harry...”
His head pops up. “Yeah, darlin’?”
“Are you serious?”
“Well, you do own part of it.” He chuckles.
With a soft laugh, I grab his face, pulling his mouth to mine. I let it hover shy of touching. “I do.”
He quirks an eyebrow but doesn’t miss a beat. “Well, as the new owner of a ranch, it’s only proper you come out to inspect. And maybe, as the new owner, you should be stayin’ out there, too.”
“Is that a fact? And where will I sleep?” I nip his bottom lip.
“Anywhere you want. I hear the barn is cozy in the winter.”
I cackle, slapping his shoulder. He dips, kissing me hard.
Hungry.
I open for him, desperate to have him everywhere I can. He tastes like chocolate and that definitive Harry scent. All woodsy and manly. The ache in my heart from his earlier words drops to my core, lighting a fire. Sending my center liquid. I ache for him all over as I let my hands wander over his toned body, his neck, the valleys and peaks of his chest. Over his hard stomach, only stopping when I hit the button of his jeans.
“God above, Louisa, you have no idea how much I have wanted this. How long I waited...” His lips trail kisses down my neck, dusting pecks over my collarbones before hot kisses land on the top of each breast. I gasp at the sensation of his mouth on me.
God, we really do go from zero to one hundred.
It’s like neither of us have any control over this.
The thread strung tight between us has a life of its own. One growing bigger and more beautiful every day we spend together. I can only imagine what it would look like, feel like, after years of being with this man.