Gone For Good
Ryan
She flinches in her sleep, her body betraying her even in the depths of her unconscious state. Her fingers occasionally reach for mine, grasping weakly, as if holding on to something, anything. I feel the desperation in her touch, and it twists something dark in me.
“"What do you dream about, Little Bird?" I whisper, my voice raw with helplessness. "I can't protect you from them... not from the ones that haunt you when you sleep." My fingers twitch at my sides, useless against the battles she fights in the dark. "Open your eyes," I plead, desperation lacing my words. "Let me see you."
She whimpers in her sleep, her face contorting in pain as tears begin to slide down her cheeks. I brush them away, too quickly, as if trying to erase the evidence of her torment, but I can’t. The tears keep coming, and I hate myself for not being able to stop them.
A quick knock on the door pulls me from the moment, followed by the sound of it creaking open. Cade’s back. He obviously had to go attend classes and sessions. Aviana has been in this state for 2 days now. I have given her a sponge bath while Cade wasn’t in the room. She has bruises from her fall but the bruises that concern me the most are the ones not seen. The ones that caused her to go into this state — locked in her own mind.
“How is she today?” Cade asks.
I glance down at Aviana, still trapped in her own broken world, and my stomach twists in frustration. “Well, she’s more animated in her sleep, if that means anything,” I mutter. My mask is still on, hiding everything. Cade’s seen me without it, but I never know how she’ll react when she wakes. If she wakes. The thought of her looking at me after all these years, after I hurt her with my words. I then failed her in college when that fucking frat boy touched what was mine. He paid for it, yes. But not in the way she needed. Not in the way I wanted.
“Hopefully, she’ll wake up soon,” Cade says, his voice strained with that false optimism. “If not… we might need to call someone. Transport her to a hospital.”
I feel the anger bubble up inside me like acid, sour and poisonous. “She’s not going anywhere,” I growl.
“She mentioned her best friends Claire and Hannah.”
I clench my jaw, my grip on her hair tightening. “They aren’t family,” I snap, resentment dripping from every word. I remember Claire coming around a few times to the house mainly during the summers. Her and Avi would ride the horses and of course spend all night painting their toes.
Cade raises an eyebrow, his voice full of challenge. “And you know if she has any?”
I glare at him, my patience fraying, my control slipping. “She has me.” The words leave my mouth with more force than I intend, a finality to them that surprises even me. It’s all I can give her now, all I’ve ever been able to offer.
I return my focus to Aviana, brushing her hair softly, almost mechanically. I can’t help but wonder if she’ll ever wake up from this—if I’ll ever be able to fix the damage that’s been done.
***
Past
Aviana Age 17 Ryan Age 21
Mom and Dad wanted to take us all out to eat to celebrate my birthday. Turning 21. Legally able to drink. But the thought of alcohol doesn’t even touch me. Not tonight. Not when the only thing that could ever make me feel intoxicated is sitting right next to me in the back of this truck.
Aviana.
Her presence is enough to make my head spin, to make the world blur at the edges. She’s just sitting there, right next to me, and every little movement she makes sends a surge of heat straight through me. My fingers brush against hers—just barely, like a whisper of wind—but it feels like a damn lightning strike. I see her glance down at them, at the way our skin almost touches, but she doesn’t pull away. Not this time.
She asked for the window seat, which leaves me wedged between her and Liam. I don’t know what it is about the two of them, but they’ve always clashed. There’s a tension between them, thick and suffocating. It’s almost palpable. But all I care about is her. All I can focus on is the way her scent lingers in the air around me, the way her breath catches when I move too close.
Her fingers don’t brush mine in return. But I feel it. The electricity. It crackles between us, undeniable, even if she’s pretending not to notice.
Mom and Dad—they would never understand. They would never accept it. Aviana, my younger sister in their eyes. But they don’t see what I see. They don’t feel what I feel. I’m 21 now, and she’s only 17. But one more year. Just one more year, and she’ll be mine. I know it like I know my own heartbeat.
I don’t care what anyone says. Not her friends. Not my parents. No one. I’ve waited too long for this, fought my demons for too many years, and she’s always been there—right in front of me, unknowingly staking her claim on my heart since day one.
I don’t know how to live without her. I’m not sure I even want to.
The truck bumps along the road, the tires crunching on gravel, but inside, everything is still. My pulse is steady, but the need inside me is anything but calm. I want her more than anything. I need her. And soon, she’ll know it. She’ll feel it. I’ll make her understand.
Because there’s no way I’m letting her go. Not now. Not ever.
After dinner we head back home. As we pull in the drive and stop, she reaches for the door but I stop her. “Don’t, I got it.”
“I can open my own door, Ryan,” she giggles playfully.
“Let me get this for you!” I exclaim, nearly pushing Liam out of the truck as I rush around to open her door for her. She takes my hand with a laugh as she steps out of the vehicle.
“Looks like someone can’t handle their drinks,” she teases, not knowing that I had been secretly pouring mine into a nearby plant throughout the night.
“Come with me, Avi.” I tug on her hand, pulling her toward the tree line, away from the prying eyes of the house. Every step I take with her, every inch closer to the shadows, feels like a small victory.
“Ryan, wait up, where are we going?” Her voice carries a hint of uncertainty, but I feel her trust in the way she lets me guide her.
We’re almost down the driveway when Mom’s voice rings out, cutting through the night air. “Where are you two off to this late?” she asks, her tone curious, but sharp.
Liam’s voice follows immediately, dripping with his usual annoyance and jealousy. “Don’t play dumb, mom. She’s Ryan’s little girlfriend. Leave them be.”
The words hit me like a punch. I want to snap back, to defend her, to shut Liam up for good. But I hold back, keeping my cool—barely.
“Shut up, Liam. No one asked you,” I growl, my voice low and dangerous. But I can’t help the flush of irritation that rises in my chest. “She’s not my girlfriend.” The words taste bitter, but I need them to sound like that isn’t what I want. I want it to be true. I don’t want anyone thinking I’ve forced her into anything, though.
Although, if everyone would just leave us be… if she were old enough… I wouldn’t hesitate to claim her, not in a heartbeat.
“I’m going to check on Blaze,” I add, keeping my tone steady, “And I know he loves Avi, so I’m taking her with me.”
Liam’s voice cuts through again, laced with mockery. “Someone else loves the Little Screamer.”
I clench my jaw, muscles tense. “Liam, shut up, man.” But before I can say anything else, Mom speaks up, her voice stern.
“Ryan, it’s late, and Aviana has school in the morning. Let her get upstairs and get ready for bed. We were out pretty late as it is.”
I glance at Avi, my gaze locking with hers. I can see the conflict in her eyes, the hesitation. Does she want this as much as I do? Does she feel what this is between us — dangerous ground. She looks trapped — between me, between what she feels and what she has been taught. She pulls her hand from mine and starts to back away, heading towards the house. My chest tightens.
Liam’s smirk lingers in the air, and I can feel it like a burn. The way he looks at her, the way he tries to get under my skin—it makes me feel even more protective of what is mine.
We all walk back into the house, the tension thick and suffocating. We head to our separate rooms, but I don’t close my door right away. I leave it cracked, watching her room from the corner of my eye.
When I finally hear the faint click of her door shutting all the way, I close my door shut and collapse onto my bed. The weight of everything presses down on me—my thoughts, my feelings for her, the anger towards my own brother that builds with every passing moment. I must have dozed off, because the next thing I know, a loud crash jerks me awake.
“Avi!” I’m on my feet in an instant, heart pounding in my chest. I fling my door open, my pulse racing. Her door is cracked open, and I don’t hear anything. For a second, I think I imagined it. Maybe it was a dream. But then I notice Liam’s door wide open, and a knot tightens in my stomach.
“What the hell?” I mutter, walking quickly toward his room, anger starting to flare. When I peek inside, the room is empty. His bed looks like he was in it not too long before but there is no sign of him anywhere. My confusion deepens.
Where the hell is he? And more importantly, why do I feel like something’s wrong? Something’s off.
Walking down the hall to Avi’s doorway, I hear a scuffle and the sound of Liam’s voice “Shhh, Little Screamer, you don’t want to wake Ryan or anyone else do you?”
That makes me push the door open and what I find in front of me has me seeing red .
Liam is naked on top of my Little Bird. One hand over her mouth and the other pinning her wrists so she can’t escape.
“What the fuck is happening here?” I roar, my voice trembling with rage but not loud enough to wake mom and dad downstairs.
Liam smirks at me, his eyes glinting with malicious intent. “Looks like baby brother wants to join in on the fun. What do you say, Little Screamer? I bet you can’t wait to find out what his cock feels like inside this tight pussy of yours.”
My fists clench at his words and I feel an overwhelming surge of protectiveness for my Little Bird. Without another thought, I charge towards him, ready to defend her at all costs.
I push him hard, making him fall off the bed. I take the moment to throw the blanket over her trembling body. Looking back to Liam, I point my finger at him and say, “Stay the hell away from her!” my voice barely controlled, filled with raw fury.
He barely has time to recover and get back on his feet when my fist connects with his jaw, hard, the force of it rattling my own bones.
“You think you can do whatever you want to her, you sick bastard?” I growl, panting. “I’ll kill you before I let you hurt her again.”
Liam starts to fall back, his eyes wide with shock and pain, but he has a sick and twisted smirk on his face. He wipes the blood from lip and his eyes darken for a split second. I see the evil in them — just as deep as it is building inside me.
“You think you are the only one who gets to have her, baby brother?” Liam sneers, his voice venomous. “You think you’re the only one she wants?”
“She doesn’t want you, Liam. Look at her, she is scared of you. I should have figured it out the last few years how she always cowered around you.”
“You think what you want, Ryan. You have always been in my way and thought you were better than me, the better man. You aren’t. You aren’t even a man. I am. She will see soon enough that she wants me.”
“Keep dreaming man.” I sneer. “You shouldn’t even call yourself a man because a man would never rape a young woman.” I step forward, my hands clenched into fists, ready to swing again and rip him apart. “You are disgusting.”
He starts to lunge but I hit him again making him fall into the corner of the room.
“Touch her again, brother, I dare you.”
Liam stands up and grabs his pants from the end of the bed. He knows full well I am not playing games with him.
I stand there breathing heavily, my heart racing as the adrenaline starts to wear off as he walks out of the bedroom. I look down at Avi, her face pale, eyes wide with fear and guilt hits me like a punch in the stomach. She’s trembling.
I reach for her, pulling her into my arms, my voice softer now. “I’m sorry, Little Bird. I’m sorry he did this to you. You’re safe now.”
She just sobs.
Her body trembles against me, her tears soaking into my shirt. The sound of her crying cuts through me, raw and unrelenting. I hold her tighter, saying nothing, just letting her fall apart in my arms.
“No one’s ever going to hurt you again, do you understand me Little Bird?”
Days later, I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t let him get away with what he did to her. He was out in the barn, working on the door latch, when I decided his time was up. He crossed a line—one that could never be erased.
I stormed in, my pulse pounding, my hands steady with purpose. Dragging him to the nearest stall, my voice was low and cold as I told him he wouldn’t get away with hurting my Little Bird.
He fought, he begged, but I didn’t hear a word. No mercy.
With every strike, I made him feel the weight of every moment he had made her feel small. Every time he hurt her. Every time he thought he could take what didn’t belong to him.
And then I grabbed the pitchfork.
His eyes widened in horror as I drove the metal prongs into his side, the steel sinking through flesh and muscle, scraping against bone. He let out a strangled scream, clawing at my arms, but I twisted the handle, grinding the tines deeper. Blood bubbled from his lips as he gasped, his body convulsing.
I yanked it out and struck again, this time spearing him through the gut. His hands scrambled to hold himself together, his breath coming in ragged, choking gasps. I watched as the fight drained out of him, his body sagging, the blood pooling beneath him in thick, dark rivulets.
When he finally stilled, I let the pitchfork clatter to the ground, the scent of iron heavy in the air.
I grabbed a tarp from the work shed, rolling his lifeless body into it, wrapping it tight. The drag to the truck left streaks of crimson in the dirt, but it didn’t matter. The road to the pig farmer’s place was empty, the night swallowing any trace of what I had done.
I left him there, where he would never be found. Never be seen again. And I never looked back.
He’s gone—gone from our lives for good.