Chapter 20
Oliver
“You don’t have to go,” Dean said.
Lifting my head off the bed—his bed—I cocked my head. “Why do you say that?”
“You’re tired.” He reached toward my face, but before he could touch me, he dropped his hand. My fingers twitched with the urge to make him finish the gesture.
After staying up all night with him, I should’ve taken his idea to heart.
We’d watched hours of the show, yet I wanted more.
His reactions to each episode were like little hits of dopamine that I couldn’t get enough of.
Seeing him go from a begrudging participant to a fiend begging for the next one was something I enjoyed far too much for my own good. Or his.
More intoxicating was the way he’d awkwardly told me I could sleep in his bed after it started to rain. There wasn’t even any thunder, but I’d taken him up on it.
Today, he’d gone into work for a couple of hours to help open the bar, and by some black magic he must’ve cast, I’d fallen back to sleep until he got back. The sun had been up when we went to bed, so despite sleeping late into the afternoon, I was exhausted.
“Are you gonna stay too?” I asked.
“Nah, I told the guys I’d be there. It’d be a dick move to back out.”
Slapping both of my thighs, I stood. “I’ll get ready, then.”
“Oli—”
I punched him in the arm as I passed, making him hiss. “I love your nurturing side, babe, but I’m older than you. Listen to your elders.”
He grumbled about being likened to a child, but funnily enough, he said nothing about the pet name. It made me want to do it again, but if I did, it might feel like less of a joke.
After I finished showering, I threw on my olive-green hoodie. The way he’d looked at it before made it my new favorite, and that was reinforced when I left the bathroom. His eyes seemed to drink me in for a second before he grabbed his phone off of the table and headed for the door.
“Does this look okay.?” I asked, rushing to catch up.
The unanswered question hung in the space between us, nagging at me.
“Dean?”
He opened the passenger door and glanced at me over the car. “Sure, you look fine.”
After he sat, I got behind the wheel, stifling a yawn so he wouldn’t bring up me staying behind. It wasn’t happening. No way, no how. I knew it was ridiculous, but the fact remained that I wanted to be where he was, and that was that.
“Do we need to set any rules?” I asked as I pulled onto the main road.
He laughed. “Rules?”
“Yeah. Like, I’m clearly the designated driver. I won’t be drinking, but should I be watching out for anything? Cutting you off? Making sure you don’t get into a fist fight?”
“I don’t fight. As for the other stuff, no, I’m good. If you wanna go home and I don’t, I’ve got a room to stay in there, so no worries.”
“Why would I want to go home without you?”
He shrugged but kept his eyes out the side window. “Maybe you find a girl to take home. Or I do. Since we’re in a small space, it’s probably better if only one of us is there for the occasion.”
The idea made me purse my lips. My fingers tightened on the wheel, but when I heard the material creak, I loosened my grip.
Suddenly, he touched my forearm, making my breath catch.
“Did that come off as rude?” he asked. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like an inconvenience if you find someone.”
As he pulled his hand back, I took mine off the wheel and grabbed his wrist. My thumb stroked his skin, gliding over his pulse point. It might’ve been my imagination, but I thought I felt his heart beating at the same pace mine was.
“I’m not looking for anyone tonight,” I said seriously.
“Well, me either, but you never know.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I know.”
“Okay.” He tugged his arm back, then started typing on his phone.
Great, now I was coming across as a weirdo. But the idea of him finding someone he liked at that frat house made me want to turn the car right back around and drag him inside the apartment. Maybe I’d barricade the door.
This could be the night he found the woman of his dreams. It could be the story he told his future kids. It was Dean’s personal ‘How I Met Your Mother’ special.
“Whoa, man. You look kind of off.”
Shaking my head, I forced a smile. “I’m good. Just spacing out.”
“Alright.”
After a second, I switched lanes. I continued until I was on the shoulder, ignoring the aggressive honking from one of the people behind me. Once I came to a stop, I turned to him.
Brooks’ words came back to me, and even though I’d been open about my attraction, it wasn’t enough. It didn’t feel fair to him.
“I have to be honest, Dean. About the way I’m feeling.”
“Don’t.”
“But—”
“Oli, stop.” The clear annoyance in his voice stopped me in my tracks. “Nothing serious tonight. We’re going to a party.”
My gaze fell, all of my momentary courage fleeing as fast as it had come. It had been a stupid idea, of course. Logically, I knew that. Still, I felt fueled by that horrific image of Dean and some random blonde that would inevitably spark his interest.
Sadie was blonde. I’d found her on Instagram, and while she was obviously beautiful, there was nothing special about her.
Nothing in her eyes that screamed for more.
No reason for him to be intrigued by her.
And that was what he needed. Intrigue. Passion.
Something that kept driving him closer with every breath.
I felt that, but of course he didn’t. Not for me.
Shifting into drive again, I merged onto the road without a word. He didn’t attempt to start up conversation, and neither did I. If I truly had luck on my side, we’d just move past this, just as we had when I told him I was attracted to him and when I jokingly called him pet names.
All fine and dandy, that’s what it was.
When we pulled up to the frat house, it was already full of people.
I immediately tried to go a different way, but Dean touched my back, gently guiding me with him.
When I didn’t resist, he dropped his arm to his side and put a bit more distance between us.
My skin burned where he’d touched me, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from begging for more.
“I kind of wish you drank,” he said with a laugh when we reached the kitchen.
I smiled a little. “Everyone seems to.”
“I don’t want you to. It’s just an icebreaker, really. Especially when people loosen up.”
“Sounds like a lazy way to connect.”
“Hm. I guess you’re right. Genuine effort it is, then.”
He cracked open a beer, and I watched his throat as he drained half of it. I wondered if that was normal for him or if he was covering something up. There was a bit of tension in his shoulders, but other than that, he didn’t show any signs that he was bothered.
Movement off to the side drew my gaze, and I clocked Linc coming closer with some of the other guys from the football team.
He grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him into his chest. His huge smile lit up his face, making his hazel eyes stand out.
His were more brown than mine, and they suited him magnificently.
In his beanie and black t-shirt, he looked stunning.
After he said something to Dean, he turned and greeted me the same way. “What’s good, man? Heard you and Dean moved in together.”
“Yeah, he’s moving up in the world,” I replied. “I give him less hell than his last roommate, at least.”
“Jay’s a bit of a . . .” Linc scrunched up his nose for a second. “Tight ass.” With a laugh, he shook his head. “I’d say it’s a flute-player thing, but that feels classist.”
“I wouldn’t really know. The only music I know how to make involves splashing in the water.”
“You’re not swimming this year, huh?”
“Too busy with my program. Looks like we’re two peas in a pod.”
Linc smiled knowingly. When his gaze traveled past me, something shifted in his eyes. It wasn’t at all subtle, and I had to look over my shoulder to see what had changed.
Like a giant neon sign drawing everyone’s gaze, West Densmore strode through the living room with his entourage.
When it came to quarterbacks, he was that one.
People either loved or hated him, though I fell somewhere in-between.
He was a particular brand of crazy that was rooted in something deep and ugly that I could clock from a mile away.
And as someone with resonant trauma, I didn’t like the direction his had taken him in.
I knew it was volatile, a snake lying wait in tall grass.
I dreaded the uncertainty of passing by with only a futile hope that he wouldn’t be in a striking mood.
Without a word, Linc headed that way. I watched curiously, my head tilting. There was a purposeful set to his shoulders, and if the back of my neck wasn’t prickling, I would’ve continued analyzing the situation.
Turning back to Dean, I found him watching me. Usually, he didn’t hide it, but this time, he looked away.
“Want to dance?” I asked.
He snorted, shaking his head as he took a drink from his beer. It had been a joke anyway, so I tried not to be offended by the dismissal.
Dean looked at his phone with a frown. “I’m gonna find Tilian real quick. Are you good?”
I just nodded. Without saying anything else, he disappeared. Resting my hands on the counter, I looked around. I knew a lot of the people here, but it was fun to just watch them in their natural habitat. That was how I’d learned to exist in the world, back when I had nobody to teach me.