Chapter 21
Dean
What was going on with me?
As I worked on my second beer, I looked around the room for Oli. He’d disappeared while I looked for Tilian, who hadn’t been interested in talking when I found him, so I left him in his smoking corner.
It felt weird to text Oli—needy, maybe—so I hadn’t done it. But it didn’t sit right with me that he was just gone.
I wondered if he’d left. He said he wouldn’t, but that was before things got awkward.
I wasn’t a hundred percent sure what he’d been heading toward in the car. The tone of his voice had set off alarm bells in my head, and I just wanted to shut it down. So I had.
And now, I wanted to bring it up again. I just wanted to know.
I also didn’t want to.
I was losing the plot. It had mutated, grown legs, and walked away.
Any chance of catching it was cut down every time I looked at Oli.
Even when I thought about him. It seemed like I was constantly trying to figure out how he was feeling, and when I worried about what was going through his mind, I felt this overwhelming urge to fix it.
That couldn’t be healthy.
He was attracted to me. That was what he’d said before, but I hadn’t taken it all that seriously. I doubted he’d let his feelings grow in any real way.
Could you stop that sort of thing?
Wait, did he know I wasn’t gay? Maybe I should’ve told him. Yeah, that was probably a good idea.
It was a simple conversation. I wasn’t into men. Never had been, and I had no interest in changing that, if it was even possible.
I looked over at West, who had walked in the door a few minutes ago. It wasn’t hard to notice that he was elite-tier attractive. Imagining him naked didn’t do anything for me, though. I shifted my gaze to Linc. He was also attractive, but in a different way. I also wasn’t interested in his body.
My brow rose as I watched him for another moment.
He and Densmore were always in some sort of feud, and maybe that was why they were talking.
What was on his face didn’t strike me as anger, although there was obvious frustration there.
If they got into another fight in this place, I hoped someone let them finish it.
There was a girl with West, one who was incredibly beautiful. I’d heard about his twin sister, not that I’d need to in order to know that they were related. They looked like elvish royalty, all dark hair, pale skin, and bright blue eyes.
As I took her in, I tried to imagine going up to her. I could be charming and suave. Women didn’t just like me for my physical traits, even though they apparently were into those too. I could shoot my shot, at least.
My feet remained firmly planted in place. When I saw Rick go over to dance with her, I didn’t feel a hint of disappointment. Even when his hands gripped her swaying hips, there wasn’t a part of me that wished I’d taken a chance on talking to her.
It had only been three months since Sadie cheated on me. That was bound to take some time to bounce back from.
With a growl, I knocked back my drink, then scanned the area for someone to occupy my time. A brunette in tiny shorts caught my eye, so I went over to her. When she saw me, she offered me a nervous smile. It was cute and a far cry from the childish excitement I’d grown used to being around.
I put a hand on the wall and leaned a little closer. “Hey. I’m Dean.”
“Mila,” she replied.
Taking her hand, I brushed my thumb across her knuckles. “Are you enjoying the party, Mila?”
“It’s a party. I don’t think any of them are all that different.”
“Well, you’re not wrong. I can’t believe these guys haven’t gotten tired of throwing them. Then again, they might not have a chance to meet someone like you if they didn’t.”
Her light laugh made me smile. She tucked her hair behind one ear, then ran her fingers through it.
“You’ve got to be a hockey player or something.”
“Nah. Football. Less chances to break my ass.”
“Can’t skate?” she teased.
“I can’t even stand on the ice. Guess I don’t have the body to be graceful.”
“That might be an understatement.”
I watched her take me in less subtly than before. She seemed sweet, and her slight shyness was adorable. If I wanted, I could probably get her number by the end of the night.
If I wanted.
“Do you want to dance?” I asked. “It’s another thing I’m not good at, but I can make an exception.”
“Sure.” She smiled when I threaded our fingers and guided her toward the living room. I kept my focus on her, refusing to look around for anyone else.
“What the hell, Linc?” Matt shouted from the middle of the room. He was on the ground with one hand on his face, and his lip was bloody.
Linc was standing over him, his chest expanding quickly with what I assumed was anger. I wondered what could’ve set him off.
He shook his head and went directly upstairs.
“You can always count on drama at a frat party,” I laughed.
Mila hummed her agreement, then pulled me the rest of the way into the middle of the room.
Her hands slid up my chest and snaked around my neck.
I gripped her waist to pull her close and breathed in her scent.
It was like cherries—overwhelmingly feminine.
I tucked my face into her neck, hoping that if I kept breathing it in, my body would respond to it.
*****
At least an hour and a few strong drinks later, I finally spotted Oli. He was outside, lounging beside the pool. His bare feet were flat on the chair, and he kept curling and uncurling his toes. Considering he was on his phone, I figured he was bored.
That meant it wasn’t weird to go up to him.
As if he sensed me, he looked up. Immediately, a smile curled his lips. I clenched my teeth, trying to shake the way it reassured me.
Dropping into the seat beside him, I perched my elbows on my knees and looked at him. “I want to talk.”
His brows went up as he matched my position, bringing him close enough for me to catch his evergreen scent. “Then talk, big guy.”
“I’m not gay.”
His lips thinned. I was about to apologize—for what, I had no idea—but then I saw that he was trying to hide his smile. I frowned, feeling self-conscious.
“Did I say something funny?”
“No,” he replied simply.
“Expand on that.”
“I’m alright.”
“Oli.”
He let out a shuddering breath. It reminded me of when he’d first told me he was attracted to me. Something about the way I’d said his name at the time made him admit it, so I decided I wouldn’t say his name anymore.
“Oli.”
Fucking shit biscuits.
“Dean,” he returned softly.
“Don’t do that.”
“I didn’t do anything. Unless I’m missing something.”
I shook my head. “I just wanted to clear everything up. You’re attracted to me. It doesn’t bother me. Just . . . clearing it up. You know?”
“How drunk are you?”
My nose wrinkled. “Not too much.”
“Mm. Is it because of this?” He used two fingers to gesture between us.
“We’re at a party. People drink.”
“Sure, but you’re squirrely, whereas I’m just vibing.”
“You’re sober and look bored. What were you doing?”
He held out his phone. When I took it, I saw a spreadsheet he was working on. Instead of something like financial data, it had names on it. It was color-coded, but I wasn’t sure what he was tracking.
“If I started a lottery, you think I’d make money on it?” he asked.
When my brow pinched, he stood and moved to my lounger. He sat so close that I could feel the heat from his body against my side. Reaching over my arm, he scrolled to the top of the spreadsheet, then pointed at the names.
“These people are gonna bone at some point. These ones are on their way to falling in love.”
“And these?” I touched another column.
“They’ll break each other’s hearts.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“We’ll see.”
I zeroed in on two names that made my mouth drop open. “No, you’re insane.”
He took my chin between his fingers and angled my face toward the house. At first, I didn’t see anything, then I squinted at the darkness on the side, partially hidden by a tree near the fence.
“Oh my God. That’s . . .”
“Two quarterbacks who think they’re sneaky,” Oli finished for me. “I’m not crazy.”
“You have them in the love and the heartbreak category.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not perfect. They’re polar opposites. And that guy’s past . . .” He shook his head. “It could all explode tragically.”
“Damn. I’m shocked. Like, I would’ve gambled with my own life if someone bet money on them being together. I didn’t even know that crazy bastard was gay.”
“That’s the beauty of this weird little life, right? It’s always capable of surprising you.” He looked up at the sky, concealed by clouds. “Sometimes, I think it knows better than we do, and we just have to make the right moves along the way. If we do that, things aren’t all that complicated.”
“Sure, if you’re not an idiot, but we’re all idiots.”
He laughed lightly. The sound drew my gaze back to him, and I met his eyes, taking in the almond shape and thick lashes. The pool lights reflected off the green, giving them an ethereal glow.
How could a man be both immensely masculine and overwhelmingly beautiful?
Yeah, I was drunk. Now that I was outside, those shots were catching up with me, making my head a little hazy.
“Maybe we should go,” Oli suggested.
“Why?”
“I mean, if you want to stay—”
“No,” I said, surprising myself. “My room kind of got taken over anyway. If I stay, I’ll probably drink more, and I don’t need you to carry me out of here.”
“Then let’s head home.”
He stood and held out his hand. I eyed it for a second, thinking about what I’d seen on the side of the house. This wasn’t that, but I still hesitated.
Ignoring his hand, I got to my feet. As I walked toward the house, I blinked rapidly to clear my head. The music inside pounded through my skull, making me wonder if I should stay longer. Dancing sounded like a good time.
Turning around, I stopped moving. Oli ran directly into me and made a startled sound.
“If I was on the list, who would it be with?” I asked.
His eyes widened, the first real sign of surprise I’d seen from him. Something about him not being ahead of a situation sent a thrill through me.
“Hypothetically,” I added. “I mean, it’s a party. Like spin the bottle, but I’m not kissing anyone.”
“Um . . .” He glanced around, but it didn’t feel like he was actually looking at anyone. “Not the girl you were dancing with.”
“You saw me?”
“From the moment you talked to her.”
“Damn.”
“Speaking of—” He grabbed my hand and started jogging through the crowd. I followed his gaze and saw Mila standing by the stairs. When she noticed me, she lifted her hand in a wave, but I turned away, continuing to follow beside Oli.
It was probably rude, but I had to agree with him. There was no spark there. If I was being honest, I didn’t think there had been with Sadie either. I’d been following a set of unspoken rules, going through the motions. It hurt when things ended, but I’d never considered going back.
As Oli tightened his grip on my hand, I didn’t pull away. Not until we reached the car and he opened the door for me.
“Buckled?” he asked after he sat down.
“Yup. You?”
His signature smile lit up his face. “All good over here, Broku.”
“Better be.”
“Or what?”
“I’ll kick your ass.”
“Sounds counterproductive.”
“So is letting you sleep in my bed.”
“How so?”
Waving him off, I leaned my head against the window.
“I want to see the stars,” I murmured. Looking at him, I watched the way it made his cheek twitch. “We’ll have to go search for them sometime.”
The faintest smile broke through, but he didn’t take his eyes off the road. “You promise?”
The hope in his voice twisted something in my gut. At that moment, I knew that he would take whatever I said next seriously, and I had a suspicion that, to him, a broken promise was a deadly sin.
“Sure, man.”
“To the stars, then,” he said, his voice carrying a note of genuine excitement.
Turning to stare at the sky, I swallowed hard. It was a good thing there was no storm tonight.