Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Hutch
I stare out at the city. I’ve been at the office for six hours, but I can’t manage to do any work. I've started a dozen emails and not finished them. I’ve opened a half dozen spreadsheets only to examine the boxes without filling them in or manipulating the data.
A knock at my door draws my attention away from the procrastination on my laptop.
“You look like shit,” Farley says as he leans on the doorjamb and crosses his arms.
I run a hand through my hair and tie it back again. “That obvious, huh?”
With a nod, he steps into my office and sits down. “What’s up? You haven’t returned a single text. I even stopped by that gym you love, and your friend Kasen said you had bailed twice this week. That’s not like you.”
I push back and put my elbows on my knees as I stare down at the ground.
“I haven’t figured out how to fix the mess with my family.
I’ve spent the last six months looking for some random person who leaves flowers on a bench every day instead of dealing with reality.
I fell in love with a woman who just left me because of how fucked up I am.
” I rub a hand over my face. “So, in summary, I don’t have my dream job, my dream house, my dream family, or my dream woman. But I do have a raccoon named Cliff.”
“A raccoon?” Farley asks.
“Really? I just poured my fucking heart out and all you took away from that was a raccoon?” I ask as I peer through my fingers at my friend.
He laughs. “Dude, get the fuck up. I heard your friend owns a romance bookstore. We need real help, and sitting here talking about your woe is me bullshit isn’t getting us anywhere. I’d ask my woman, but she’d just point out that you’re being a tool.”
“A tool?” I ask.
“Yeah, my mom always says that. Come on, let’s go,” he urges as he stands and motions for me to follow him.
And for reasons I can’t explain, I do.
* * *
The bell over the door makes me a little sad. It reminds me of Edith. Al’s wife was the sweetest woman ever. She was the grandmother everyone in this building needed. She’d listen to our problems and bake us cookies or make us soup. I don’t know how Al keeps going without her.
As if I’ve summoned him, I look over to find Al sitting in a chair by the window.
He sets down a Jane Austen novel and looks over at us. “Well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” he calls out as Roxy walks around a shelf and glances in our direction. I look around but don’t see Jocelyn. I’m half relieved and half disheartened. I miss her.
“Wow, two football players. You guys cosplaying as why-choose-romance characters?” she teases.
“As what?” Farley asks.
Roxy laughs out loud, and I’m pretty sure I’m blushing.
“Very funny,” I grumble.
“I have no idea what the hell that is, but we are here for romance advice,” Farley says.
“Did someone say romance advice?” a familiar voice says from behind a bookshelf.
Cam’s former roommate and best friend, Drew, pops his head around the shelf.
“Drew?” I ask, in shock to see my old friend. He’s been living in Italy for a few months with his boyfriend.
“Hutch!” he says excitedly, coming over to hug me. I hug him back and then motion to Farley. “Farley, Drew. Drew, Farley.”
“Wow, do all football players look like giants?” he asks as he sizes us up. Drew isn’t short, but he’s nowhere near the height of Farley and me.
“Hutch is here?” Cam says as she pops her head out from another shelf.
“What the hell? Is the whole building here?” I ask.
She shrugs. “No. Dipshit here decided to randomly hop on an international flight to come see me. Al picked him up from the airport and now we’re catching up with Roxy while I wait for Fletcher to finish up with something at the café,” she explains.
Roxy leans against the checkout desk. “To what do we owe the honor?” she asks as she pets Licorice, her cat that’s just jumped up on the desk.
Farley leans forward in a conspiratory way. “We need to fix Hutch. My wife reads a lot of romance novels, and I remember Hutch mentioning his book club here, so I figured, if anyone can help us, it’s you.”
Roxy giggles. “Call me the Obi-Wan Kenobi of romances.”
“Uh, why not talk to a therapist about it?” Drew asks. “I mean, I’m all for romance novel help, but…” He trails off as he looks at me.
“Well, I am seeing a therapist, but he has no advice on Jocelyn other than to give her time,” I admit.
“Wait? I thought Jocelyn was just visiting family,” Roxy says with a frown.
“She’s visiting family?” I ask. It’s only been a little more than four days since we spoke. How could she be visiting family already?
“Yeah. Two days ago, she said she was going to try to spend a little time with her dad. He agreed to go with her and Val to visit his mom and sister,” she explains. “She didn’t tell you?”
I shake my head. “No. We…she said she needed time and that we were too fucked up at the minute. So, we haven’t spoken in over four days.”
“Well, shit. That explains her foul mood,” Roxy says as her brows furrow. “Did you guys have a fight?”
I shake my head. “No. Anything but. She was super quiet at happy hour, and then when we got back, I asked what was wrong, and she basically said she was dealing with a lot of shit with her dad and that I needed to sort out my family shit, and we should take a breather.”
“OK, so you didn’t break up, just giving it some space?” she asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know. We haven’t spoken. It’s the longest I’ve gone without talking to her since we exchanged numbers a few months ago.”
“And have you…you know, spoken to your family?” Drew asks.
I shake my head again. “No.”
“Dude, go see your parents. You have been talking to them more. Just get everything out in the open. Stop pussyfooting around about it,” Farley says.
Al stands and sets his book down. “Go see your family, and then we’re having a bonus happy hour.”
“I don’t know. I…” I trail off because all of this seems like a lot, maybe too much.
“I’ll drive. Let’s go,” Farley says, shoving me toward the entrance.
I turn at the door. “Why do we need a bonus happy hour?”
Al laughs. “Because you need a grand gesture. You’re in love with her, and she’s in love with you. She just needs a nudge. And trust me, if I learned anything from being married to Edith, it’s sometimes you need your actions to speak louder than your words.”
* * *
My mom and dad sit at the dining room table. I left Farley to play with the one and only donkey on the property.
“I need to talk to you both,” I say. My leg taps with nerves. I’ve never been this blunt with them.
They remain quiet. “I know I sort of alluded to why I’ve stayed away, but I wanted to actually talk about it,” I start.
“Go ahead, son,” Dad urges.
I swallow. It’s time to rip off this bandage.
“After I recovered from the accident, I felt like you all pulled away. That’s why when I had to sell my house, I decided to move into the city.
And then, it was like I never saw you anymore, never heard from you,” I explain.
“I guess I felt like you didn’t want me around.
I know you felt bad about the tractor, but it wasn’t your fault.
It was mine for taking it up the incline instead of using the longer path.
I knew it needed servicing, and I acted impulsively. ”
Dad lets out a breath. “Hutchinson, of course we blamed ourselves. You were out playing ball. You had a life, and you loved it. And here we were asking you to still help us yourself instead of just eating some humble pie and accepting your offer to pay for an employee. And because of that, we ruined your whole life,” he says, and I see tears in his eyes. Fuck. Dad never cries.
“We felt awful, Hutch. But then you moved on with your life. We didn’t want to be constant reminders to you. We wanted you to thrive again, sweetheart,” Mom adds. “We told Ally and Bryson to give you space. We figured you’d come around when you were ready.”
Well, shit. “I thought you didn’t want me in your lives anymore,” I confess. “I thought it was too much of a painful reminder.”
Mom reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “We love you. We want nothing more than to be part of your life. I’m sorry you felt that way.”
“We both are sorry, son,” Dad says. “You’re welcome here whenever you want and if you want us to come see you in the city…well, damn, just tell us that.”
He has a point. I’ve never once asked them to come into the city.
“You’d do that for me?” I ask.
Dad chuckles and wipes his eyes. “Hell yeah, kid. Your poor mom here could use a city day once in a while.”
Mom giggles, and it warms my heart. “I could. We’d love to come see you and visit Al.”
The only time they’ve come into the city was for Edith’s funeral a few years ago.
Dad stands and walks around to me. I stand too, and he pulls me into an embrace.
“We both love you, kid. All four of us do. You’re my son and I want you to be happy,” he says. Then he pulls back and looks at me. “Didn’t you mention you were dating someone a while back? Where is she?”
I grimace. “She’s away right now. But I’m going to work on that,” I say as I hug Mom.
“Hutchinson, do you need a talk about how to treat girls, again?” Mom asks.
I laugh. “No, Mom. I just need to show her that we should be together now, that right now is the perfect time for us,” I explain cryptically.
Mom pulls back and raises an eyebrow.
I grin down at her. “Don’t worry, I got this.” And for the first time in a long time, I feel ready to do battle. I’m going to get Jocelyn back in my life now, and then I can finally start living instead of just existing.