Chapter Thirteen
Mac
Fuck, this is the best damn dream I’ve had in God knows how long.
My body wrapped around Lee. One hand tweaking her nipple until it’s a hard peak, one finger circling her clit at a tantalizing pace, and her ass grinding back on me.
It feels so real that I want to pry my eyes open to check, but I don’t.
I don’t dare pull myself out of this fantasy.
It isn’t until my name leaves her lips on a moan that my eyes fly open. Oh shit, this isn’t a dream at all.
“Lee…” My voice sounds pained even to my own ears.
“Shh, don’t. Don’t let this be real. If it’s real, one of us will stop it.” Her sleepy voice echoes in the otherwise quiet room.
“If you really want this, you know what you need to say.” I tell her, my voice so gravely from sleep it barely registers in my brain as my own. My lips find the side of her neck as I wait for her answer.
“Green. Fuck me, Mac.” She sighs.
Say.Fucking.Less.
Taking my hands off of her, I work my boxers down my legs before doing the same to her panties as she groans out in protest.
“Someone’s greedy this morning.” A full smile takes over my face.
Grabbing a condom from my jeans on the floor, I roll it on before taking her thigh in my hand.
I move it up and hook it over my own so she’s completely opened up to me and can’t move without my help.
The tip of my fully hard cock nudges at her opening.
I hesitate just for a second. I can’t have her regret this once she’s fully awake.
“Lelonie, are you-” She cuts me off by pressing back into me, sinking herself fully onto me. Holy fuck.
I’ve never, in the twenty-two years I’ve been on this earth, felt anything as euphoric as this.
I know it isn’t because it’s been over a year since I’ve fucked anything but my fist. It’s because it’s her.
Lee’s tight, wet heat clamping down on me is almost enough to be my undoing.
She lets out a low guttural moan. “Quill—”
“Yeah, Beautiful. You feel so fucking good. Dammit, Lee. You stretch around me like you were made to take me.”
“Green. Move, please Quill.”
She begs so fucking pretty. Pulling out and slowly pushing back in, I move slower than I typically do just to make sure she’s okay.
When she doesn’t complain, I begin to build up a rhythm that I know is going to send us both spiraling into our orgasms. My hand snakes down the front of her body to begin my assault on her clit again.
With my other hand, I move my arm under her body and move up to cup her throat.
I’m not even putting pressure on it, it’s just resting there.
She’s not anywhere near ready for what I want to do with her, but I’ve got to get her used to my hand sitting right here, at the very least. I can already feel my balls drawing up and desire licking at the base of my spine.
Lee’s head is thrown back on my shoulder, my eyes eating up her blissed out expression.
Eyes shut, lips slightly parting, chasing the high she knows I’m going to give her.
Angling my hips up slightly, my cock brushes against that spot inside of her.
The one that I know for a fact will send her straight into space.
Judging by the moan she lets out and the way her eyes pop open, I think it’s safe to assume no man before me has ever found it. Good.
“Oh, God I’m right there. Fuck, I’m so close.” Her breathing picks up and I can tell by the way she begins to pulse on me that she’s right there.
“Try again, Lelonie. You only call one man’s name in this bed, and it sure as fuck isn’t God’s.
” My fingers pinch her clit as my other hand squeezes her throat just slightly.
Not even enough to restrict her breathing, it’s more of a flex of my hand than anything.
Regardless, that, accompanied with everything else, sends her straight over the edge.
Her orgasm rips through her with almost a violent release as she screams out my name.
I can’t hold back any longer as I come with her name on my lips right behind her.
Cuddling after sex has never felt like this before.
I do it, it’s part of my aftercare routine with the women I fuck, but it’s never felt so calming.
Lying here holding Lee and using my hand to stroke up and down her soft, pliable body, there’s nowhere else on this planet I’d rather be.
My head begins to swim, but I push that to the back of my mind.
I don’t want that shit to taint this memory.
It’s so odd, because I’d never thought those words would be ones that came from me.
I’m not dependent on alcohol. I work, spend time with my family, and apparently now I date.
If I were an alcoholic, I wouldn’t be able to do any of that.
At the same time, I am a man of routines.
I like my schedule to stay as consistent as possible.
Part of that schedule just so happens to be me having a drink or two when I get up, another before work, and occasionally a few while combing through the darkest corners of the internet.
My job is mentally daunting. I just like to take the edge off so I’m not haunted all day and night by the shit I have to see or do.
Lee flips onto her back and stares up at me, “So…”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes me, “So?”
“That happened… So much for moving slowly, I guess.”
My hand continues to lightly stroke from her throat down in between her breasts to the top of her slit, then back up.
My hand moving under her hoodie to her neck, then back down to her pussy slowly, methodically as I speak, “Who says we can’t still take it slow?
Technically, that was slow for me. You aren’t even completely naked. ”
She rolls her amused eyes at me. “You’re impossible, and what do you mean that was slow for you?”
“Can I veto that?”
She shakes her head at me. “No, we can only veto the heavy stuff. This just seems like something you’re embarrassed about.”
“I’m not embarrassed, Smart Girl. I’ll tell you. I just don’t want you to think you need to be anyone you aren’t or try to like things you don’t for me.”
That gets her attention. Her nose scrunches up and her brow furrows. She’s so fucking cute, she knocks the breath out of my lungs. “Explain.” The authority in her voice makes my dick jump.
Before I can answer, I see her zero in on my tattoo. Her tattoo. The stargazer lily covers most of my left pec. She probably won’t notice, but embedded in the line work of each petal is the letter R. It was my first tattoo at eighteen, and it’s the only one with color on my entire body.
“Woah, that’s… Mac, that’s gorgeous. Stargazers are my favorite flower, but why is it the only one with color?” Her fingers carefully trace the line work as if the flower is going to jump off my chest.
“It’s the only one that matters.” I’m trying to act like she didn’t just knock me on my ass. I know they’re her favorite flower, that’s why it’s there. But she isn’t ready for that truth.
“Do you need to veto?”
“Yeah, let’s veto it.” I kiss the tip of her nose.
“Okay, back to the bedroom thing. Explain.” She switches gears so rapidly that I take a few seconds to catch up.
“My tastes in the bedroom are eccentric, to put it lightly.” I’m trying to ease into this conversation, but really, is there an easy way to do this?
“And to put it bluntly?” She raises a single eyebrow at me, and the desire to fuck the attitude out of her roars it’s head.
“To put it bluntly, I’m a member of eight different clubs from here to New York City.
I used to go there to satisfy my desires, but I haven’t been to any in thirteen months.
” She pushes my hand off of where it’s come to rest on her lower stomach and slides up to a sitting position, leaning back on the headboard.
“Come again?”
“It’s something I’ve been into for longer than I’ve been legally allowed to be. Something happened last year, and I stopped going. I haven’t had a single partner since then until this morning.”
I can see her brain working through what I’m saying, “So you buy women?” She jumps up and swipes her phone off the nightstand before bringing it up to her ear.
“You need to go. This was a mistake. You have to leave.” Before I can respond, whoever she calls picks up.
I don’t have to wait long to find out who it is.
Her voice breaks as she speaks, “Dieter. Where are you? He’s like them. Come get me.”
No, oh hell no. I’m struggling between making her feel safe and making her listen to me. I can’t let her think I fucking buy women. Moving over to her slowly, I reach down and pluck the phone out of her hand before bringing it up to my ear.
“Dieter.”
The rage in his voice tells me I may not have a dick by the end of the morning. “What the fuck have you done to my sister, Byrne? It’s only eight in the fucking morning, how did you already fuck this up?”
“Nothing, I didn’t, she’s fine. I need to explain the club to her, that’s all.” Dieter knows what I’m talking about because he’s also a member.
“You swear that’s all?” I can hear his anger deflate as he responds.
“Swear. Talk to her, tell her I don’t fucking buy and sell women so I can salvage this.”
I hand her the phone back and pull my boxer briefs and jeans on while she finishes talking to her brother.
Feeling my flask press against my leg, I walk out of her room in search of what I’m going to use to get her to listen to me.
As soon as I’m in front of her laundry room on the other end of the hall, I slip the flask out of my pocket and down its contents.
Finding what I’m looking for, I make my way back into her bedroom.
She’s walking back in from the kitchen at the same time.
“What’s that for?” Her pulse jumps in her neck as she eyes the rope in my hand.
“Come on, I’ll show you.”
Lee’s been staring at me like I’ve lost my mind for the past few minutes as I work on tying the rope to the posters on her headboard and then working on the slipknots for my wrists.
I’ve never done anything like this before.
I thrive on control and would never put it in someone else’s hands.
Lee needs to see that this isn’t assault or abuse, though. After I finish my knots, I turn to her.
“Okay, so here’s how this is going to work.
I’m going to sit against the headboard, and you’re going to put those restraints on my wrists.
Once you do that, I can’t go anywhere. My arms can’t move without it pulling the rope tighter, I’m completely at your mercy.
I’ll talk you through everything you want to know, but this way you know I’m not going to jump up or hurt you. ”
She looks at the ropes, then me, as I get settled against the center of her headboard. “You can’t undo them? At all?”
I shake my head as I respond, “No, baby. I can’t.”
My arms lay at my sides completely limp as she makes her way over and slips the restraint on my left wrist before moving over to my right.
She steps away from the bed, a wicked glimmer in her eye.
If I weren’t sweating, and my heart rate wasn’t spiking through the roof, I might be able to appreciate how bad ass she looks right now.
“Pull at them.” She demands, the power rushing to her head. My desire to punish her is almost too much to handle, but she needs this, and it was my idea. So I stay quiet and pull on the rope, causing them to bite into my skin more.
“See, I can’t go anywhere.”
“You assault women.” She states it like it’s fact, causing my stomach to threaten to empty just thinking about it.
“I don’t. I’d never.” I tell her truthfully. “If I did, do you think Dieter would have told you to hear me out?”
She thinks that over for a minute before responding, “Okay, so explain it to me, because I know you know what Nix and I went though and ‘clubs’ are where women are bought and sold in our world.”
“So first off, I’m an adult man who only plays with other adults who have gone through multiple points of identification checks and tests.
I don’t do anything without a condom, a safe word, and an in-depth conversation about boundaries.
There’s no substances in anyone’s system during play.
The places I used to frequent are all above board.
Everyone is there of their own volition and has to pay to be there.
I can and will get you reviews and recommendations if that’s what you need to trust me. I’ve never had an issue with a sub.”
“You like to be in control?” Is her only response.
“Yes.”
“Everyone agrees on what you’re going to do beforehand?”
She’s right; this is such an uncomfortable conversation. Typically it wouldn’t be. I’ve had thousands of these conversations over the years. But now I’m talking to the woman that I would marry if I had even the faintest inkling she wouldn’t laugh in my face for asking.
“Yeah, Beautiful. Contracts are signed. It’s legal.”
“You said ‘other adults.”
“Yes. twenty-one at minimum, thirty-three at max.” I give her more information than she’s asking for because I don’t want her to have any doubts.
“No, I mean, you didn’t say women. You specifically said, other people.”
Oh, that. “I’ve had both men and women submissives if that’s what you’re asking.”
She doesn’t freak out like I expected. She just nods in response, “Okay. You said you stopped thirteen months ago. Why?”
Fuck.