Chapter Fourteen
Lee
Mac looks so vulnerable sitting on my bed, arms splayed across my headboard as the restraints I placed on his wrists hold his arms out.
He just answered every question I had, plus more, and outed his sexuality to me.
Deciding he isn’t going to hurt me, I sit directly in front of him with my legs crossed in front of me.
He’s hesitating, and I have a feeling he stopped the clubs because of me.
He confirms my thoughts when he finally answers my question.
“When I was seven, my childhood best friend was taken. We found out thirteen months ago that she was dead. I haven’t stepped into a club since.” His eyes break away from mine and look down at his legs.
My heart aches to tell him the truth, but I can’t. Not yet. So I give him what I can. “I’m sorry.” I undo his restraints and climb into his lap, curling up as his arms encase me.
“It’s okay. My heart was shattered for a long time, but I think I might be able to find some of the pieces now.
” His hand rubs up and down my back as he talks.
“I wouldn’t date a man. I know you didn’t ask, but still.
I’m not romantically interested in men. I was interested in a mouth and a hole.
That sounds so shitty and vulgar, but it’s the truth.
Back then I wanted anyone who would let me dominate them. I didn’t care about the details.”
“It doesn’t matter to me either way. It only matters to me who you want now.”
“You, Beautiful. Only you.” He kisses the top of my head and rocks me gently.
We’ve sat in the silence and comfort that we bring each other for about an hour when my alarm goes off at the same time as Mac’s phone rings. He grabs his phone off the side table and answers without looking at it.
“Mac— Yeah, I’m good— I’m at— No, don’t be ridi— Okay, I hear you.
I’m sorry, I’ll be home soon— Dammit, Roe.
Give me fifteen.” He hangs up the phone, and I can tell by the air shifting around us that he has to go.
He would have to regardless. Annie will be here soon.
I move off of him so he can stand up and finish putting his clothes back on from last night.
“I don’t want to leave. I’m not cutting and running, Lelonie.” He shrugs on his shirt, then his hoodie. “I have work calling me, and I’m late. That’s different from running.”
“Of course it is. Go work, text me after.” I plaster on a fake smile, but I can tell he doesn’t buy it.
“Can I see you again later?” He asks hopefully.
“I don’t know. We can talk about it later. I’m not sure what all I have going on today.”
He nods solemnly as I lead him to the front door, “Yeah, okay. I’ll text you. You’ll answer?” He looks so unsure of himself that I can’t help but press up to my toes and kiss the underside of his jaw.
“Yeah, Quill. I’ll answer. We’re fine. You told me the truth, so we’re good.”
He takes my lips with his own, and I can feel him smiling into the chaste kiss. The taste of alcohol still lingering on his lips from last night.
“I always will. Bye, Lee.”
As he walks out of the door I whisper, “Bye, Quill.”
* * *
It’s been hours since Mac left to go to work.
He’s texted a few times just to check in on me and us in general.
I don’t know why he’s so worried that I’m going to bolt.
He told me the truth, and honestly I’m intrigued about what he’s into.
I want to know more about it all, how exploring that in a relationship would work, and if he’d take me to one of those places.
What am I even talking about? I don’t even think we’re actually dating.
People who date go places, and I’m limited on where I can go.
We’re just friends. Friends who had mind blowing sex this morning, but still friends.
My phone beeps from beside me, another text from Mac.
Quill: Just thinking about you. Are you sure I can’t see you later?
Lee: I can’t. Maybe tomorrow.
Quill: Is this the veto thing, or something different?
I contemplate if I should lie to him or not. We promised not to, though, so I’ll give him what I’m willing to at this point.
Lee: The veto thing that’s still a veto.
Quill: Okay, let me know if you need anything, Beautiful.
I send him back the green heart emoji and then put my phone back down.
Deciding to shut my eyes for a second, I make myself comfortable.
I’m caught up at work, and Annie is caught up on all the information she pried out of me this morning, so I can nap for just a little bit before I get back to finding the information I need.
Just as the sound of the machine begins to lull me to sleep, my apartment door bursts open, and in strut Mama and Papa.
Mama is holding a beautiful bouquet of blue stargazers, which brings a smile to my lips.
The blue practically pops off of the flower; it’s so bright.
His tattoo this morning knocked the wind out of me.
It’s gorgeous and so detailed. I also don’t think the fact that it’s my favorite flower is a coincidence, nor is the Rs designed into it that I’m sure he thought I couldn’t see.
We’re going to have to have this conversation soon.
Part of me thought that I left and he moved on after a few years, but now I realize how wrong I was. He deserves to know it all.
“Woah, those are gorgeous, Mama. Thank you.” I offer them a genuine smile. Usually I would stand to greet them, but clearly that’s not an option right now.
She beams at me, “Oh, these aren’t from me, Lelonie. They were sitting in front of your door.”
Papa, who looks extra grumpy this afternoon, grumbles out, “There’s no card, Kostbarkeit. I don’t like it.”
A laugh bubbles out of me involuntarily, “They’re probably from Mac, Papa. Calm down.”
“Mac? As in Mac Byrne? Why in God’s name would that calm me down? Why is that boy sending you flowers?” If I didn’t know better, I would say that my big bad father was pouting right now.
“Probably because we’re friends, and we’ve hung out a few times recently. He also stayed the night last night. All things that I know you know, seeing as I have a detail.”
Annie’s laughing on the other side of the couch. Little traitor thinks it’s so funny when I’m the one under fire. That’s fine, I’ll get her back.
“He stayed the night?” Mama’s smirk makes me giggle. She’s smelled gossip, and now she’s honed in on it. A trait she’s passed on to Annie and me.
Before I can answer, my Papa dramatically throws his hands up, “That’s it, I can’t listen to this.
” He stomps over and places the gentlest of kisses on the top of my head, a total contradiction to the fit he just threw.
He mumbles quietly into my hair, “You need to rest, sweetheart. Give her only the bare minimum, then take a nap. She tells me everything, and I’d rather not know some stuff.
” Straightening back up, he winks at me before turning to Annie and repeating the process.
Once he’s satisfied his ‘girls’ are okay, he turns back to Mama with the same annoyed face he walked over with.
“I’m leaving. I need to pour bleach into my ears.”
Mama smiles fondly at him. Always amused with his theatrics, “It’s under the sink in the kitchen. Make sure you don’t make a mess.”
“This is all just a big joke to you, darling? There’s a boy.
Not just a boy, but a Byrne boy.” He sneers at the mere thought that his child may spend her time with a Byrne.
Such a contradiction, seeing as he was really good friends with Mac’s Da, which is why Jakob and Declan became friends in the first place.
All that was fine, but put his Kostbarkeit with a Byrne, and it’s game over. So dramatic.
“Lukas, don’t act like you weren’t great friends with Adian Byrne.
Declan practically lived at our house until the boys were teens, and even when he stopped staying over as much, Jake went over there.
Mac’s a good boy. He’s smart and kind. Lelonie is an adult.
If she wants to get to know Mac again and trusts him, well then that’s just not our business.
” She moves in front of my Papa and cups his face in her hands.
He leans into her touch, which makes me smile.
This is how my parents are, they never have shied away from loving each other in front of us.
“She’s just a few months shy of twenty-three, handsome. She isn’t that thirteen year old little girl anymore. Lelonie is perfectly capable of making her own sound decisions, and do you want to know why I’m so confident in that?”
He rests his forehead on hers, “Why’s that, Mein Lieber?” My love.
“Because she has had the best Papa. You taught her to make good choices and to protect herself. You taught her that no matter what, she can always come to us, even if the problem seems like a mountain too high for any of us to climb. Lukas, you have prepared her as well as the boys and Annie for adulthood. You have to trust them to let them be adults.”
I smile watching them. They really are the perfect match.
Turning my attention away from them to give them their private moment, I can’t help but long for that.
I want a love like theirs one day, someone who will stand by me through it all, raise babies together, and grow old.
Only I don’t know how much of that I can give someone else.
None of that may even be possible. So instead I’ll read about it in my romance books and catch glimpses of it out in the world when I’m lucky enough to.