Chapter Fifteen
Mac
Iangrily run my hands through my hair as I listen to Declan and Rowan fight over some meeting they have later.
I need to get back to my computer, but I can’t until Roe calls this meeting.
The door to my brother’s office must not have completely closed because right as I stand to tell them both to shut the fuck up, Rowan’s wife walks in the room.
My ass instantly finds my seat again. Clara’s scary when she’s mad, and I’m not going to be the one in her path today.
Kieran and I sit quietly as we watch her approach a still-yelling Rowan from behind.
“Your way is fucking stupid. Are you trying to put us at risk here? I’m not fucking up a business relationship with a man we’ve known our whole lives because you’re bitter.” Rowan roars, His jaw ticks in anger.
“You know that’s not what the fuck this is. I have nothing to be bitter about, especially when it comes to a fucking Fischer. We just can’t trust them.” Declan practically snarls.
I’m personally confused on why Jakob is all of a sudden bothering him so much.
Their friendship ended years ago. I’m also about to put him on his ass for talking shit about Lee.
She’s a fucking Fischer too. Apparently Clara is thinking the same thing, because she wraps her arms around Rowan from behind and gently squeezes before peeking around his broad back to look at Declan.
“They’ve done nothing wrong, and you’re being irrational. Your feelings are valid, don’t get me wrong. At the same time, we wouldn’t tell Rhett to not be friends with someone because the kid’s brother hurt Rhett’s feelings before.”
“We should, punk kid.” Declan grumbles.
Rowan pulls Clara so she’s safe in his arms. He’s been like this basically since they first met. Always has to be touching her.
“Dec, you’re being ridiculous. Jakob isn’t even in those meetings. He owns and runs a bar. I have plans tomorrow so I really need you to keep it together and run point on this for me.”
Clara’s head is just resting on Rowan’s chest. Her eyes are closed, and her face is relaxed. I don’t know how else to describe it aside from she’s safe and in her happy place right now. Rowan has her tucked in close, his chin lying on top of her head as he stares down our brother.
“Why aren’t you coming with me?” Gone is the pissed off Declan, and in his place is the concerned brother. Declan loves hard. It’s his superpower and his biggest weakness. So when we all feel the sudden shift in the air, he sits more on edge than the rest of us.
“Clara has a doctor’s appointment. I’m going with her.”
“What’s wrong?” I can’t help but yell out. My mind instantly goes back to Lee and what she’s vetoing.
Rowan turns to me, his brow furrowed. “Nothing’s wrong. Are you good? You look pale.”
A huge smile takes over Kieran’s face. “No. Shut up. There’s no way… Nix would have told me.”
Declan asks, “Told her what? What’s going on?”
Clara turns into Rowan’s arms, a huge smile plastered on her face, “Well, we have to go make sure the baby is healthy.” The whole room erupts into cheers and our favorite game of ‘pass the sister around’.
Once I pull Clara into a bear hug and thank her for being the best wife to my brother and mom to my nephew, I sneak out of the room.
I’m ecstatic for them. They’re amazing parents to Rhett, and this baby that I hope is a girl is going to be just as loved and protected as he is.
I’ve just been having a harder time watching my family get the happily ever after that I’ve always wanted.
I want that with Lee. I don’t care what name she goes by now.
I don’t care that she won’t tell me what happened or why she’s sick.
Fuck, at this point I don’t even care that I thought she was dead for five thousand eight hundred and twenty-eight days.
I just want to be together. I want to start our lives together.
But we can’t, because I hold secrets and so does she, and until we get all that truth out, no matter how uncomfortable it is, we’re destined to just be two stars passing in the night.
So close to lighting up the sky, but just far enough away to only be two blimps on each other’s radars.
* * *
It’s been a week and a half since the last time I saw Lee.
We talk on the phone and text daily, but she’s avoiding me.
I’ve had my eye on her apartment, but she hasn’t left, not even for therapy last week.
Her family has practically been camped out there, including her little sister, who’s supposed to be away at school.
I’ve just decided to go over and see if she’ll agree to see me when Flynn walks into my room and heads straight for the couch, flopping down on his back, his left arm over his face.
He lets out a loud groan of frustration before taking a deep breath.
He doesn’t uncover his face as he begins talking, “I need advice.”
Grabbing my rocks glass, I throw back the rest of its contents and mentally prepare for whatever bullshit this is about to be. “Okay, I’m listening. Hit me with it.”
“I’ve lost it.”
“Your mind? Yes, absolutely.”
“No, asshole, I’ve lost my rhythm, my mojo, my vibes, my luck. I practiced like shit today. I’ve played like shit the past two fucking weeks.”
“Okay, you’ve lost me. What are you talking about?” I don’t get the whole superstition thing that Flynn treats like law. I played baseball growing up, and don’t get me wrong, I had a certain way that I liked things, but Flynn takes it to the extreme.
“I mean, I’d found it. My good luck charm, if you will. It was working, and now it’s gone, and with it my talent apparently.”
“You didn’t lose your talent, you’re just in a funk. Find a new ritual. You’ll be fine.”
“Spoken like a man who has no idea the importance of a game day ritual.”
I can’t help but laugh at him. He’s ridiculous.
He does this periodically, and the ritual that stops working sends him into a spiral every time.
It can be anything from his pregame nap was cut short to the type of pasta for his pregame meal is the wrong shape.
However, most of the time it’s the woman in his bed that throws him off.
“Flynn, I’m not trying to be unreasonable here. I’m just saying I don’t think you’re talentless. Especially not because the chick you’ve been fucking moved on.”
He sits up and glares over at me, “How’d you know?” He practically exclaims.
“Probably because we have this exact conversation every other month. Stop putting all your mental capacity into fucking before a game, and you’ll be fine.”
He grumbles about something I can’t quite make out. “Well, what do you suggest I replace it with, oh smart one?”
“I don’t know, read a fucking book or something.”
Flynn is fine, he’s just dramatic. He doesn’t get that shit from me; that was instilled in him from Kieran and Declan.
Sully appears in the doorway, leaning against it. “You break my other half, Mac?” Amusement was clear in his voice.
“Nah, some girl did. Get him out of my space, though, before I claim favorite brother rights. He’s been squatting in here almost long enough for it.”
“Nope, not happening. Come on, sad boy summer. Let’s go.” Sully walks over and pulls Flynn up before throwing his arm over Sully’s shoulders as if Flynns physically wounded.
“Can we go grab some ice time, Sul?” Flynn asks in a half whine half whisper. The dramatic fool is acting like he’s on death’s doorstep.
“Sure Flynnie, we can do that.” The second they cross the threshold of my bedroom door, they break out into loud, boisterous laughter and begin pushing off each other.
They’re nineteen, so they’re technically men. However, at that age they still have that boyish humor to them. They’re still silly and carefree. They haven’t been hardened by the world yet.
If I have it my way, they never will be.
I was hardened by this life at such a young age, and I never want them to feel this.
I want them in a small town with houses next to each other and sitting in rockers surrounded by their wives and grandkids when they’re eighty.
Still carefree, still doing little bits like this to make life just a little easier.
My eye catches on movement out of the corner of the far screen lining my desk.
Bringing up the camera, the entire image fills my screen.
It’s the CCTV I hacked into from the corner store across from the church.
Davis is standing outside by himself, scanning the street.
He’s done this every time he’s at the church since I started watching.
After that day I ran into him, I decided to just keep tabs on the church.
Just as the clock in the far right corner of my computer screen strikes seven, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and looks at it.
His shoulders deflate, and he turns on his heels, heading inside.
I don’t know what or who he’s looking for, but whatever it is, he looks more defeated as the days tick by.
Minimizing the image, I go back to work.
I have to find this fucker before Rowan sends me to the warehouse instead of this guy.
Pouring myself another drink, I settle in for the next couple of hours.
* * *
Mac: I miss you. Can I see you today?
Lee: Today isn’t a good day. I miss you too.
Mac: I’m trying to not let this hit my ego, but it seems like you’re avoiding me.
Lee: I’m not, I promise. It’s just been a rough few weeks.
Mac: I’m sorry, Beautiful. I wish there was a way I could help.
Lee: Me too.
My phone lights up with Lee’s name before I have a chance to respond to her latest text.
“Hello?”
“I lied to you, I’m sorry.” Her voice hitches. She’s crying, and that guts me.
“What do you mean?” My heart rate spikes, and before she can answer me, I’m already knocking back my drink and heading out the door.
“Can you come over? I’m not good company, but I want to see you.” Her voice sounds so small and sad.