Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-two
Mazzy
The problem with working for Miranda was nothing got past her. Not a typo. Not a late brief. Definitely not me trying to stare a hole through the same paragraph for the last twenty minutes.
“Mazzy.” Her voice whipped through the quiet office, snapping me out of my daze.
I blinked, caught in the act of looking straight through my computer screen. “Hmm?”
Miranda crossed her arms, her expression narrowed in the way that meant she was toggling between Are you dying? and Do I need to fire someone on your behalf? She leaned a hip against the edge of my desk.
“You’ve skimmed that same page at least three times.”
Heat crept up my neck. “I’m just…tired.”
Miranda arched a perfectly sculpted brow. “You’ve come to work after staying up all night with a puking toddler and still managed to function like a normal human being. Try again, and tell me the truth this time, please.”
I swallowed and looked anywhere except at her. One thing about Miranda: she had the kind of gaze that could pry open vaults.
“Mazzy.” Softer this time. Less of a command, more of an invitation. “Tell me what’s going on.”
My throat tightened. I hadn’t said this out loud to anyone but Shira, but I guessed I needed to get used to it since it was about to become reality.
I exhaled shakily. “Ben got an offer to play for a team in New Zealand. He’s going.”
Miranda didn’t react immediately, which was somehow worse. Her dark eyes assessed me, and I could almost hear her mind whirring as she processed what I’d just told her.
Finally, she sighed. “Fine. I’ll help you write your request for a leave of absence, but I won’t be happy about it.”
My mouth opened then closed. That wasn’t…what I’d expected her to say.
“I’m not taking a leave of absence.”
Her head tilted. “I’d really rather you didn’t quit outright. The only way I’ll be able to stand a temp working with me is if I know you’ll be returning.” She leaned in. “You will be returning, won’t you? I assume your beau has a season or two left in him, at most. Rugby is a game for the young.”
“You know rugby?”
“Pffft. I’m aware of rugby. Do you think I have time to watch sports?”
“No. I know you don’t. That’s why I was surprised.” I gestured around wildly. “I’m surprised by all of this. I’m not quitting or taking a leave of absence, Miranda.”
Her brow dropped. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, Ben’s moving to New Zealand. I’m not.”
“Why not?”
“Because…it’s New Zealand. I have an entire life here. I’m in school. And I can’t just quit my job—”
“You can’t. You’re right. You’ll take a leave of absence.”
I shook my head, hoping that would clear it. “No, I won’t. I can’t just leave to follow Ben. He—”
I clamped down on my lip, unsure I wanted to tell her what he’d said. But Miranda was a dog with a bone. She stared at me, bored her laser gaze into me until I cracked, and everything spilled out.
“When I told him we wouldn’t be going with him, he got pissed and said he'd take Katty with him and I could visit them. I couldn’t believe he said that. I still can’t, if I’m being honest. It was so out of character, and it makes me wonder what else he could do if he’s cornered again.”
“Hmmm.” She tapped her chin, considering. “I don’t like that. Not at all. However, you said yourself it was out of character for him. Is he still thinking he’ll take Kateryna with him?”
“No, but I pointed out he can’t because of our custody agreement.”
“Well, of course. It’s airtight. Obviously, it would be impossible. I mean, has he mentioned it again or backed down?”
Ben’s distraught face flashed in my memory. His immediate regret and plea for understanding.
“He took it back and apologized almost instantly,” I admitted.
Miranda lifted her chin. “Good. Because threatening to take a child across international lines is the fastest way to lose joint custody, and from what you’ve told me, Ben is far too in love with that little girl to risk it.”
I rubbed my suddenly aching forehead. “It was just…he panicked. I know he did. But it terrified me. The idea of him going that far...”
Miranda studied me for a long moment, then pushed off my desk and circled to the empty chair beside me.
“Mazzy,” she said, folding her hands, “why aren’t you going with him?”
I stared at her. “I just told you—my life is here.”
“Is it?”
“Yes!” My voice cracked into a squeak. “My job, my classes, Katty’s preschool, Aunt Barb and Kylie…”
“Mmm.” She nodded as though humoring a child who had declared the sky was green. “Let’s examine that.”
I frowned. “Miranda. Come on.”
“No, no. Let’s take a breath and use those critical-thinking skills I know you have.” She crossed one leg over the other. “Do you love him?”
My pulse fluttered. “Yes.”
“Does he love you?”
“Yes.”
“Does he love Kateryna?”
“Oh my god, yes.”
“Then tell me why keeping your family together is less important than your ambition and a city mostly filled with people you don’t even know.”
I stared at her, mouth open, and Miranda flicked her hand. “Don’t look at me like I ran over a puppy. I’m only stating facts.”
“It’s not that simple,” I whispered, my throat tight. “I’ve worked so hard to get where I am. I need this job.”
“You have this job. I told you that.”
“I have it while I’m here.”
She gave me a flat look. “Mazzy, you do realize I have remote associates in several states. Sandra works from a treehouse in Oregon, for Christ’s sake.”
I blinked. “It's a cabin.”
“A cabin in a tree.” She waved it off. “My point stands. You could work from anywhere. I would prefer you to work from anywhere instead of losing you entirely.”
Something wobbled in my chest. Was that hope? “But the time difference—”
“You’re adaptable. Now, what was your other objection? School? I’m almost positive you can take most courses online. I know that seems like magic, but it is, in fact, reality. The future is now, as they say.”
“Miranda—”
“And let’s be real with each other,” she continued mercilessly, “you’re not choosing between your career and Ben. You’re choosing between your fear and your family.”
The words hit like a punch under my ribs.
My eyes stung, and I hated it. “It feels like I’d be giving up everything I’ve built.”
“Everything?” she echoed quietly. “Mazzy, look at me.”
I did.
“You are not giving up something. You’re taking it with you.
Your brain, your ambition, your determination to get that degree—you don’t lose any of that by getting on a plane.
And if your objection is you'll miss your family…well, I happen to know your guy is loaded. Surely, he can afford some plane tickets for them to visit you.”
A very unprofessional tear escaped, sliding hot down my cheek. I swiped it away.
“I’m scared,” I admitted. “I’m scared I'll uproot everything and it won’t work out. Then what will I have?”
Miranda’s voice softened in a way it rarely did. “If you stay, will you get to keep him?”
My throat went tight again, and I shook my head. “No. I don’t think I will.”
“And if you go, there’s a very good chance he’ll always be yours. And,” she added, pointing a stern finger, “if it doesn’t work? You come home. Your job is waiting. Your aunt and cousin aren’t going anywhere. You owe yourself the chance to try. That’s my opinion anyway.”
I drew in a shuddering breath. “I don’t know what to say.”
She stood, smoothing her blazer. “Say you’ll think about it from the new perspective I offered.”
“Okay. I’ll…think about it.”
“Good.” She tapped my desk. “Now stop pretending to read that document. We have work to do.”