Chapter 17
Logan
There’s something wrong with me.
It’s Thursday afternoon, my suspension is finally over, and Mel cleared me to play as long as I take it easy on my shoulder.
I’ve been taking notes during practices and have loads of thoughts to run by Moxie and the coaches to push the team to the next level, and I thought of some ways I could actually be helpful to my teammates instead of coming across as superior and mocking.
By all accounts, I should be raring to go and already at the practice facility.
Instead, I’m lying flat on my stomach on the floor with my chin on my arms, nose-to-nose with the monstrous ball of fur I’ve come to be rather fond of.
Beef Wellington is sound asleep, quietly snoring after losing our latest staring contest. He’s a cheeky beast with a penchant for getting into trouble, but when he’s asleep? Cutest thing in the world.
Beef is only half the reason I’m reluctant to go to practice.
The other hums to herself on the couch, her computer on her lap as she makes some updates to her website questionnaire.
I’ve spent eighty percent of my time with the spitfire since last Monday, which should mean I’ve had my fill and can stomach an evening without her.
But no. There’s something wrong with me, and I would rather hang out with Savannah and her cat than get back into the rugby routine.
Rugby is my life.
Or it used to be.
It doesn’t help that Savannah has a meeting with a potential high-end client tonight and asked me to bring the team’s dinner with me to practice. In other words, I’ll have to endure my return to the Thunder without the promise of her smiles when it’s done, and it doesn’t feel worth it.
Tilting my head, I watch Savannah for a moment, all too aware of the increase in my pulse as I do. I meant it when I told her I didn’t know what was happening between us, but every day I’ve been around her has made it more and more clear that my heart no longer belongs to Australia and rugby alone.
It’s bad enough that my parents have started to wonder if I’ll be returning to Sydney when the season ends.
I’ve told them next to nothing about Savannah, but they sense a change in me, and in the strangest way, they seem thrilled that I’m still here.
It’s almost like Lola wasn’t the only reason they convinced me to come, though there’s no way they could have anticipated Savannah Blair.
Savannah squints at her screen, her nose bunching up in the cutest way, and then her tongue pokes out between her lips.
I swear under my breath as my body responds to that tiniest glimpse of something I’ve thought about more than I should. I want to feel that tongue against mine. I want to know what she tastes like. I want… I curse again, gritting my teeth.
Beef chirps in response to my curse, like even in his sleep he’s calling me out for improper thoughts, and I scowl at him.
Never mind he can’t see me with his eyes closed.
I am well aware that he’s a cat, but sometimes I’m convinced he knows how I’m imagining lifting his owner onto the counter and kissing her until neither of us can breathe and the world slips away around us.
Beef tends to give me his most pointed stares full of judgment whenever my fantasies are strongest.
He also has a bad habit of tripping me or Savannah into each other, so it’s hard to know what he wants from this situation.
Me too, mate.
Savannah shuts her laptop and yawns, stretching her arms over her head. She looks at me and smiles in a way that makes my skin prickle and my limbs feel restless. “Shouldn’t you be heading to practice?”
I stay where I am. “Yeah.”
“So why are you on my floor? I need to start getting ready for my meeting anyway.”
That’s why I’m on the floor. As soon as I get up, it’ll be tomorrow before I see her again because she’s driving all the way out to Malibu to feed one of Evanson’s famous friends.
And I have apparently turned into a pathetic lump hung up on what can never be.
We agreed to avoid any romantic entanglements together, but that hasn’t stopped me from wanting more, and now I’m risking my career more than I already have because I’ll miss her too much.
I haven’t even kissed the woman, and she has me wrapped around her finger.
She and this beasty cat who decides now is a great time to yawn and give me a faceful of tuna breath.
Brilliant. It’s my own fault. Savannah was in my flat this morning doing food prep, and I followed her to her place because I didn’t want Beef to miss me for too long.
How did I get here?
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and while I’m not late yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a text from Moxie, wondering if I’m actually going to show up today. He seems to be of the same mind as my parents and thinks my priorities are shifting. I’m not sure he’s wrong.
Groaning, I roll over and sit up, backed by the soundtrack of Beef’s yowl of protest. “Sorry, mate,” I tell him as I stand and stretch.
He twists around my legs, leaving a trail of russet fur on my pants.
Good thing I have a bulk pack of lint rollers in the back of my car now.
“It should be physically impossible for a cat to have this much fur,” I tell Savannah as I try to brush some of it away with my hand.
“That’s one of the reasons I picked him. Maximum fluffiness.”
“How much of that fluff has gotten into clients’ food?” I shake a clump of fur from my leg. “Heaven knows how you managed before me and my kitchen.”
Savannah scoffs and gets to her feet. “I was incredibly careful! And I’ve only had Beef for a few months, remember?” Spots of crimson blossom on her cheeks as she looks down in the shy way she always does when talking about my kitchen. “But I’m super grateful that you—”
“Stop that.” I point at her and narrow my eyes. “We’re not doing this again, Sav.”
“But—”
“No.” I shift forward until I’m in her space and list off the arguments I use every time she tries to make a big deal of things.
It’s happened a lot over the last week and a half.
“My kitchen was only being used to cook the meals you make for me. You stopped me from getting injured worse than I was. You gave me a chance to talk to Lola, even if I didn’t take it.
” I lean in closer, a little too pleased by the deepening blush on her cheeks.
“You put up with me when you don’t have to. ”
Though her face blushes a deeper red, her lips twist up in a sassy smirk. “That last one is definitely true. Heaven knows why I bother with—”
I shift close enough that her words catch in her throat as my hand brushes against hers, which is both a terrible and fantastic move on my part.
“It really is a question, isn’t it?” I say and use all my self-control to keep from curling my fingers around hers.
I’ve been good at keeping my hands to myself, but every once in a while the temptation is hard to resist. I stay strong, though.
Savannah, not so much.
She starts with one finger, tucking it between two of mine as she says, “I guess if we consider how much money you pay me every week, it’s not so unbelievable.” Then her hand shifts, two fingers lacing with mine.
I lean forward, putting more weight on my toes. “Perfectly acceptable reason to like me at least a little.”
“And you’ve been doing all my heavy lifting.” She fully takes my hand now, her palm warm.
If she’s going to push the line, so am I.
I could take her other hand, but I slide my hand along her waist instead, far too satisfied by the hitch in her breath as I do.
I’m asking for trouble, but I can’t help it.
This woman has me under her spell. “I am well aware of how much you fancy my muscles, love.” As I pull her closer, I flex my biceps at the same time.
They’re not my best feature, but her eyes glaze over anyway.
“Mm,” she murmurs, brushing her hand down my arm.
My body reacts to her touch far more than it did to the sight of her tongue a moment ago, and I groan, slowly stepping back and forcing my thoughts to the practice I’m late for. No better way to cool down than to imagine a heap of sweaty men tossing a ball around. “You are trouble,” I growl.
Beef echoes my words with a cheery meow as he hops onto the couch.
“Don’t you start,” I tell him, grabbing my phone to see that it was, in fact, Moxie who texted me.
Moxie:
Come and talk to me before practice if you can.
“Well, that feels ominous,” I mutter. Sighing, I pet Beef on the head and do the same to Savannah, snickering when she playfully scowls at me. “I’ve been summoned by the boss. Listing off all the reasons you like me would take too long, so I should go before you get carried away.”
I expect a snarky response, but Savannah simply says, “Probably,” in a breathy voice that does not in any way motivate me to leave.
Cursing, I run a hand through my hair and shake my head at her. “You chose this too,” I remind her and wave my hand back and forth across the distance between us. “And I’m the one playing by the rules.”
“You absolutely are not,” she argues. “Every time you look at me, you make me wonder why it’s a good idea to be just friends.”
I grin. “You have terrible taste in friends.”
“You saying that proves that I don’t. You’re…” She pulls her hair back, holding it off her neck in the way she often does if we spend too long in proximity. “You’re actually kind of great, Logan. Once you set aside the ego, anyway.”
Backing away, I focus on the buzz of my phone in my pocket instead of looking too closely at the stomach-clenching desire in her eyes.
Rugby. Answers. That’s why I’m here. Not to get entangled with a woman who might be worth staying for.
“Ego’s still here, love,” I say in a low tone.
“You’ve just figured out that I’ve earned it. ”
Savannah makes a sound in her throat that would have pulled me back toward her if Beef didn’t hop from the couch and approach me with a wild look in his eyes. I know that look, and he’s likely about to leap at me for a claw-secured cuddle.
“Easy, mate,” I say, holding up a hand, and I slip through the door before he gets too close. I’m all for a proper cuddle, but I really am late.
On my way down to the car park, I read the second text Moxie sent—Unless you’ve decided to leave the team and spend your time with Savannah, in which case a heads up would be nice.
—and roll my eyes. I type out a quick reply, telling him I’m on my way, and toss my phone onto the passenger seat of my car as I hit the ignition and head out.
My phone buzzes again, but I don’t bother looking at whatever mocking remark Moxie has for me.
He can joke all he wants, but Savannah and I both know that it’s a bad idea to be anything but what we are.
No matter how much I would love to take her up in my arms and kiss her, taste her, explore her, I’m not keen to play with her heart.
Or mine.
Taking a step forward with Savannah will only make it that much harder to leave.
She deserves better than that.