Chapter 3 #2
“He’s okay, Ellie. Copeland is fine. He’s not hurt.” Bowen’s green eyes hold my stare as he pulls in a deep breath and slowly exhales. “Breathe with me, Ellison,” he says calmly.
I do as I’m told, keeping my eyes locked with his, and after a few rounds, I feel myself start to calm down.
“I’m sorry, Ellison,” Chandler says, stepping forward.
“I didn’t even think about all of us showing up like this and what you might think.
” He pauses. “I just thought— Well, I do have news, but like they said, Copeland’s okay,” he assures me, but the look on his face is full of confusion.
I suppose, after all these years, he assumed I’d moved on from his younger brother.
“Why are you here?” Baylor asks from the computer screen. Everyone turns to look at the screen, and she waves.
“I have some news, and I thought having a support system here would be helpful. For all of you,” Chandler says, his eyes moving from mine to Leighton, to Courtlynn, and then to Baylor behind the screen.
I open my mouth to ask, but no words come out.
I swallow hard, then try again. “Copeland?” There’s a quiver in my voice.
I’m not sure if it’s the fear I felt for him or the fact that, after all of these years, I’ve said his name out loud.
I’ve tried so hard to forget my first love, but I’ve failed miserably.
“Let’s all sit down,” Macklin suggests.
“No.” I shake my head, as if my words are not enough. “Just tell me what’s going on,” I demand, my voice growing stronger.
“Maybe sitting down is best,” Chandler says.
“Get on with it, James,” Courtlynn says.
He nods. “I promise you, Copeland is fine.” He pauses, and he looks pained as he speaks the next words. “My mom—she’s sick. Cancer.”
“Oh, no.” My hands cover my mouth as I think about Mary James.
“Chandler, no,” I say, because haven’t we had enough loss in this life?
It’s no wonder he brought my closest friends with him.
He might not know that my heart will always belong to his brother, but he does know how close I am to his mother.
Fucking cancer.
I rub at my chest, willing the pain to ease, but it’s there with every breath I pull into my lungs, and every heartbeat, it lingers just beneath the surface.
He nods. “Breast cancer. She kept it from us until it was confirmed, which it was, yesterday. She caught it early,” he rushes to add. “The doctors are hopeful. At least that’s what Mom told us. She didn’t let any of us know what was going on. She said she didn’t want us to worry.”
“What can we do?” Leighton asks.
Chandler smiles at her. “Nothing that I can think of. She’ll have some appointments and stuff.” He swallows, and I watch as his throat bobs. “She’s a fighter.”
“She is,” I agree. “But we still want to help. She was there for us when we lost our parents. She’s been there for me for so many things in my life.
” What I don’t say is that she supported me when her son left.
My old scars don’t need to be brought center stage.
Everyone in this room knows that Copeland James wrecked my heart.
“We want to help,” Courtlynn tells him.
Chandler nods. “I appreciate that.”
“Even if it’s with the kids, so you and Macie can take care of her. Whatever you need, let us know,” I tell him.
“All of us,” Leighton adds.
“I wish I were there,” Baylor says from the computer.
“Well, since you mentioned it, Mom did send me here. She wanted me to tell you all about her diagnosis, and she did want me to ask you for a favor.”
“Anything,” I speak before my sisters can, but I know they’ll be on board. Mary James is a saint, a savior, and besides, that’s what neighbors do in Magnolia Ridge. We show up and help out in whatever way we can.
“Ellie, maybe you should hear what the favor is first,” Dixon says.
Macklin and Bowen both nod in agreement.
Don’t they get it? Mary was our crutch. I’d do anything she asked to make this easier for her.
“Anything,” I repeat.
Chandler raises his hand and rubs the back of his head, looking uncomfortable. I know this has to be hard for him. Cancer is such a terrible disease, and to see your loved one have to fight through that, it’s something no one wants to face.
“Mom’s… well, she’s being Mom.” His lips tilt into a soft smile. “I guess I should start by giving you the news first.” He pauses.
“There’s more?” I ask.
He nods. “I’m just going to say it. Cope—he’s coming home, Ellison. To stay.”
My knees feel weak, and Dixon, who’s now the closest of the guys to me, reaches out as if he might need to catch me. “H-He’s coming home?” I don’t even know if they can hear the question, because my voice is so low. Hell, I’m not even sure I said them out loud until Chandler answers me.
“He is. He’s getting out, and he’s coming home. Mom’s going to need us, and Macie and I, we’re going to need help with Mom, the business, the kids. We don’t know exactly what we’re up against, but we know it’s time.”
I wobble, and Dixon leads me to the couch and helps me sit before taking the seat right next to me. He slides his arm around my shoulders, and I lean into his warmth.
“He’s coming home,” I whisper.
It’s been seventeen years since I’ve seen the man who stole my heart, then tore it to shreds.
I should hate him, but I love him too much for that.
Still, after all these years, there has never been a man to live up to the pedestal I put Copeland James on.
It’s embarrassing that my heart still beats only for him.
“When?” Baylor asks through the screen.
“He has some things to do. Some forms that need to be signed, dotting the i’s and crossing the t's, but soon. He’s hoping before next week, when Mom goes to see the oncologist next Friday. He’s hoping to be here for that appointment.”
I nod. Next week. It’s fine. I’m an adult. I can see my high school boyfriend and not lose my shit. I hope I can, at least. I plan on losing my shit in the quiet confines of my own home, or bedroom, since Courtlynn and Leighton still live in the house with me that we all grew up in.
“A week.” I nod again, clearing my throat.
“I know your mom will be thrilled to have him home after all these years.” I sit up straighter and square my shoulders.
I can do this. In fact, it’s way past time that I do this.
Maybe having Copeland here will help me heal.
I can get answers to why he left and finally move on.
Free my heart from his clutches. “You said your mom needed a favor? What can I do?”
“Fuck,” Chandler mutters.
“Come on. It can’t be that bad.”
“You can say no. There are other options, but my mom, well, she thinks this is the best way. You see, she’s worried about Cope falling back into civilian life.
She’s worried he’ll feel too caged living with her, seeing her illness.
Not that he’s not going to see what this fucking disease is going to do to her and the medicine that hopefully kills it,” he says, his voice cracking.
“What does she need, Chandler?” My voice is calm, but his explanation already told me what he wants.
“She thinks it would be best if Cope stayed at the Manor for a while. Not forever. She’s just worried that if he doesn’t have his own space to process the changes in his life, in all our lives, that he’ll—honestly, I don’t know.
I know that my mom is sick, Ellison. She’s sick, and this fucking disease might kill her.
I have two small kids that I need to figure out how to explain this to, and she asked me to ask you if he could stay at the inn.
I know that’s asking a lot from you, and seeing your reaction when I walked in, well, this is a terrible idea,” he rambles, running his hands through his hair.
“I have to agree,” Macklin speaks up.
Everyone starts talking all at once. They all have opinions on whether Copeland staying at the Manor is a good idea. Tensions are running high, and for the first time since they knocked on our front door, I’m the calm one.
“Stop!” I yell, and the room falls silent.
“Mary’s sick. She’s got the fight of her life—for her life ahead of her, and this is a small ask.
Copeland can stay. I’ll reserve a room in his name.
It’ll be ready the day after tomorrow. We’re fully booked until then.
I’ll mark it off the books. He can stay as long as he likes. ”
“Ellie,” Baylor says.
“No. We’re not debating this. Mary has been there for us through the years, and this is our chance to be there for her.
Copeland and I were a long time ago. Yes, I was upset, because for me, a world without Copeland—” My voice cracks.
“It’s not right. He’s a part of my childhood.
Of course, I would be upset if something were to happen to him.
It’s fine. Chandler, I’m here for whatever you need.
I’ll call your mom and Macie tomorrow to tell them the same. ”
“Ellie?” Dixon says, from his seat next to me.
“It’s done. A very small ask that I can easily grant.” Standing from the couch, I move toward Chandler and open my arms for a hug. He hesitates briefly before stepping into my embrace. “Anything,” I say softly.
When he pulls back, his eyes are glassy with emotion. “Thank you, Ellison. I know this is hard on you, and I don’t know if Mom is right about Cope needing space, but I don’t have the heart to fight her on it. Not now. Not with this.”
“You don’t have to. It’s done. He can check in whenever he’s ready.
” My heart pounds erratically inside my chest, but I ignore it.
Life is hard. It sucks a lot of the time, and this is one of those times, both from the cancer and my ex being thrust back into my life, but I’ll handle it just as I have every other crisis that’s been tossed my way.
I’m going to try not to love him anymore.
How hard could it be?