Chapter 4
Four
Copeland
It only took me a few hours to pack up everything I own and load it into the bed of my truck. I'm a simple guy who lives alone. I don't need much, but it's also sad that seventeen years is reduced to a few boxes. I donated all the furniture, which was minimal at best.
My commanding officer was understanding and helped me file all the necessary paperwork for my dependency discharge.
Everything was approved, and I was granted early retirement.
I'm glad my seventeen years of service weren't for nothing, but at the end of the day, I was going home, no matter what the outcome was.
My mom needs me, and so does my brother and his family.
It's a little before three in the afternoon when I hit the corporation limit for Magnolia Ridge. I left North Carolina at five this morning, and with minimal stops along the way, I've made great time.
Sitting up straighter in my seat, I take in the small town where I grew up.
I visited at least once per year when I wasn’t deployed, but I never spent any time in town.
There've been some updates to the buildings, including a fresh coat of paint on the hardware store and a new, fancy lighted sign for the pharmacy.
However, all in all, it's the same, and it feels like home.
I have so many memories in this small town, and most of them revolve around Ellison.
I fell hard and fast for her all those years ago, and for the first time in seventeen years, I'm about to face the only woman I've ever loved. It’s been years since I’ve laid eyes on her, and I have no doubt she’s still beautiful.
We were just kids back then, but the love I had for her ran deep.
It still does. Now that I'm home to stay, I can't stay cooped up in my mom's or brother's houses.
This isn't a visit. This is the next phase of my life. Yet another stepping stone I didn't bet on, but it's here, and I'm ready to face it anyway.
My family needs me. That means I have to put my broken heart on the back burner and let it simmer. I’m a Marine. I can handle the pressure of living in the same town as her. And even if I can’t, I’m going to have to fake it until I make it.
I slow the truck at Mom’s driveway, and just as I always do, I look up ahead at Magnolia Estates, hoping for a glimpse of her. Sure, I stay hidden when I’m here to avoid seeing her happy with someone else, but my eyes have a mind of their own, and they’re always looking, always searching.
Today, just like every other day I’ve been back here, I don’t see her.
However, this time, I know that’s going to change.
It will be impossible not to see her living in this town.
I’m not ready. I tell myself that my heart is hardened.
That I’m prepared to see her happy and with someone else, but that’s just it, she’s not with someone else.
She’s single.
My girl, she hasn’t moved on, and my hardened heart doesn’t know how to handle that.
What the fuck is wrong with the men in this town? Do they not understand how amazing she is? I might not have spoken a word to her in seventeen years, or even laid eyes on her, but I know with absolute certainty she’s still the same incredible, beautiful woman she was back then.
I shake out of my thoughts and park my truck in the driveway.
Grabbing my phone, I don’t bother with my keys or my things.
I can deal with them later. Right now, I need to see my mom.
I need to wrap my arms around her and see for myself that she’s okay.
I know she’s going up against a battle, and I plan to be there for her every step of the way.
Stretching out my back, I bend left and right, twisting and turning before making my way to the front door.
My boots clunk against the steps, and when I reach the door, I don’t bother knocking.
My mom would scold me for that, so I turn the knob and step into the house.
Instantly, the smell of vanilla greets me.
Mom loves to bake, and the house always smells like vanilla.
I close my eyes, letting the scent and the memories that come with it wash over me.
“Ma!” I call out. I can hear sounds and the low hum of voices from the kitchen. She’s not expecting me today, but I was able to get everything packed up a day early. I didn’t tell her because I was hoping to surprise her. The voices are quiet as I round the corner to the kitchen.
Mom stands, a blinding smile on her face as she rushes toward me, wrapping me in a hug. My arms envelop her petite frame, and I close my eyes. She’s here. She’s okay, and she’s going to beat this. When she pulls back, she’s smiling as she lightly slaps at my chest.
“Copeland James, what are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”
“I got everything packed and taken care of a day early. I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, you certainly did that.” She smiles up at me. She takes another step back, and that’s when it happens.
My breath hitches.
The world around me stills.
Ellison.
Her blue eyes are wide with surprise, and the afternoon sunlight shines through the window, hitting her long, dark hair, making it shine. I used to spend hours running my fingers through the silky strands. My hands twitch at my sides, yearning to feel her tresses with my fingertips once more.
She’s not supposed to be here. Not in this house. Not in this kitchen where we spent so much time together back then. It’s where I first kissed her. The memory slams into me like a punch to the gut.
It was Christmastime, and we were helping my mom bake cookies for the town's holiday bake sale. We’d just started dating, and I hadn’t done more than hold hands, but that day, it changed everything.
I’d wanted her for so long, danced around the idea of us, but held off because I was three years older than her.
That day, my resolve broke. She was standing in my mother’s kitchen, flour all over her hands and smeared on her cheek.
She was smiling, her blue eyes were sparkling, and I just knew that was my moment.
I didn’t care that my mom was in the same room, pretending not to notice. All I could see was Ellison.
I remember the slight tremble in my hand as I gently dusted the flour from her cheek.
She smiled up at me, and my heart became hers.
Nothing could have kept me from kissing her.
I bent my head slowly, giving her time to turn away, but instead, she licked her lips.
When my lips touched hers, my chest expanded, my cock throbbed painfully behind my zipper, and our fate was sealed.
She was my future. I didn’t care that we were young. We would defy the odds, of that I was certain.
I blink once, twice, three times to push away my thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, I’m imagining that she’s here, but with each blink, she doesn’t fade away. Instead, she sits at my mother’s kitchen table, eyes wide, and her chest rapidly rising for each breath.
“Ellison is here,” my mom says, as if I can’t see the love of my life sitting in front of me. “She stopped by to say hello and brought me some cookies that Courtlynn made,” Mom explains.
Silence settles around us so thick it feels as though you can drown in it. None of us knows what to say. I, for one, have lost my ability to speak as I catalog everything I can about her that’s changed over the years.
She’s older, of course. There’s confidence in the way she squares her shoulders.
The girl I loved, the one I willingly handed every single piece of my heart to, has become a woman who’s lived her life without me by her side.
She is still my Ells, just more mature, and her eyes…
they are exactly the same. Her baby blues can still hold you captive, like staring at the deep blue sea.
They are clear, steady, and impossibly kind.
When she used to smile at me, she made me feel seen.
I open my mouth to speak, but words fail me. All I can manage is a rough, unsteady breath as my eyes stay locked on hers.
She’s single.
My mother’s words keep racing through my mind.
Finally, Ellison lifts her hand and waves. “Hey,” she says. Her voice is soft and carries a tremor that doesn’t go unnoticed. She carefully places her hand back on her lap as if one wrong move might break us both.
Seventeen years, and here she is before me, and all I can do is stare. That thought prompts me to open my mouth and try again.
“Hey,” I reply, my voice gruff.
Ellison stands and pushes her chair in. “I’ll get out of your way. Mary, please call me if you need anything.” She smiles kindly at my mother before her eyes find mine once again. “Cope.” Her voice cracks. “Welcome home.” She bites down on her bottom lip, and her eyes grow glassy with tears.
She moves to walk past me, and I want to reach out and pull her into my arms. I want to press her body against my chest so she can feel how rapidly my heart is racing. I want to glue her to my side and never let go.
I knew that I still cared about her. I knew that she would always be the only woman I would ever love. We might have been young, but a love like ours is not something you can bounce back from.
What I didn’t know was how alive that love still was. Not until the moment I stared into those big blue eyes. I’ve never wanted anyone or anything the way I do Ellison Moran.
She rushes past me, and I stand still. Frozen in time as memory after memory washes over me.
“Son, what are you doing? Go after her,” Mom says, waving her hands in the air.
I open my mouth to tell her that Ellison and I were a long time ago, that what was between us is water under the bridge, but the tears in her eyes tell another story. One that suggests there might be a part of her that still loves me, too.
My feet are moving before I can think better of it. I race out the door, and as soon as I hit the front porch, I call out, “Ellison!”