9. Luc
9
LUC
PLAYING WITH FIRE NEVER FELT SO FORBIDDEN
“ H ey, Luca!”
I glance up from my focus on my shoes, my eyes on my feet only. My entire soul refusing me the chance to screw with the friendship I have with Marcus Macchio. But Kari’s tinkling, playful voice is becoming a daily occurrence that haunts me. Her tormenting smile, a constant black mark on my life.
Not because I don’t love seeing it.
But because I think she gets off on tempting me with it.
I grit my teeth and tilt my head up to catch sight of Kari at the bowl of the halfpipe, her knees already scuffed, her cheeks rosy and bright. Her hair is a frizzed mess, exploding from a single, struggling hair elastic.
Worst of all, she wears itty bitty shorts and an oversized Van Halen T-shirt.
“Marcus is working at the club this evening,” she calls out. Her lips curl higher, taunting and devious, as my eyes scan her bare legs. “Scotch isn’t here. Ang is at the garage. The twins and Britt are somewhere else.” She places her foot on the tail of her board and smirks. “Guess that just leaves me and you.”
Hence, my eyes on my fucking feet!
“Luuuuuca?” she teases. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah…” I turn from the garage, my destination because I came here searching for my notebook, and instead point my body toward her. But I’ll be damned if I take a step closer. I don’t even lift my eyes beyond her knees. “It’s getting dark, Bear. You should probably head inside or something.”
“Or…” She kicks her board and flips it up. Most of us catch it after that. Too lazy to bend and collect it, we send it spiraling into the air and grab on with our fingers. But Kari was never skilled in this department. So instead, the board smacks her shin and elicits a stunned gasp from deep inside her chest. But she covers her reaction fast, swallowing down her squeak of pain and giggling, when I’m certain, the alternative would be to whimper.
The board rolls away and discreetly—but really, it’s impossible to do so—she rubs her leg with her left hand.
“I’m staying out for a little while longer.” She hobbles forward a step. “You should join me.”
Yeah? Well I think that’s a really bad fucking idea.
Because she’s not a kid anymore. She’s spent months manufacturing moments just like this one, where Marcus isn’t around, and my sisters are off causing trouble somewhere else.
My willpower is crumbling faster than a sandcastle during high tide.
“I wanted to talk to you about some stuff anyway.” Another hobbling step. “I’ve had some things on my mind. And I definitely can’t talk to my brother about them.”
“Maybe you could ask Britt, then. Or maybe Alex. He’d be great at whatever sensitive issue you want to discuss.”
She chokes out a laugh. Her knowledge of Alex’s subtlety , giving me away like a spotlight in the dark. Then she steps off the halfpipe, but lowers to sit on the edge. And still, she angles her head as though to force herself into my peripherals. “Luca?” Gently, she pats the wooden structure beside her thigh. “Please sit with me.”
“Actually… I’d rather stand over here.” I dig my hands into my pockets, fussing with the lint buried deep inside. Finding a guitar pick. A piece of string. An old pencil, used, sharpened, and used again until only an inch remains. “I’m good where I am.”
“You used to hang out with me more.” She rests her arms on her heightened knees, then her chin on her arms. “You used to walk me home a lot. Take me to Popcorn Palace. You’d even spend time with me out here in the yard, even when Marcus wasn’t around.”
Yeah. Back when you were a kid.
Now you’re eighteen, and fuck, but that’s messing with me.
“I’ve been busy.”
“You’ve been avoiding me. ”
“I’ve been working.” Fuck, but I want to look up and meet her beautiful eyes. “I’ve got this new partner on the rig, and he can be kinda prickly sometimes. He’s a bit like Marcus,” I scoff. “Super protective big brothers whose tempers trigger kinda fast.”
“So you have tons of experience handling him.” She rubs the spot beside her leg again. “Sit with me.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Is it because you want me, too?”
Instantly, my head jerks up against my wishes, and my eyes lock on to hers. “What?”
“I mean…” She hugs her legs and smirks. “I spend time with Scotch. And Ang. And of course, Marcus, too. I hang out with Alex. And Oz. I have all these guys in my life, brothers I never really asked for.” Her cheeks warm. “And I’m not as pretty as Jess and Laine and Britt. Sammy might be the most beautiful person I ever met. And Meg, too. So much confidence oozing from her pores.”
“You’re comparing yourself to your friends?” Scowling, I take another step forward. I swear I don’t instruct my feet to move. I don’t even recognize the moment my brain allows the action. But if she’s comparing, then she’s hurting herself. And hell, but I’ve lived a life where my role was to keep her safe.
For Marcus. For her own good.
For my own selfish needs.
“You can’t compare yourself to them, Bear. They’re people. You’re a different person.”
“Laine is so confident,” she sighs. “And Jess is just a single step behind her. They rule the school, Luca. It’s not like it was when you were there. It’s not even a jock’s school anymore. It’s Jess and Laine’s. They run the place, and it’s gonna get worse now that they’re about to start their senior year.”
“Jess and Laine are pretty, tall, blonde chicks. They’re literally what basic white dudes like to look at. Doesn’t make you any less…” Beautiful .
But shit, I can’t finish my sentence without giving too much away.
“Comparison is the thief of joy… or something like that,” I mumble. “Don’t do that to yourself.”
“Why not? You have no problem sitting next to the twins.”
“They’re my sisters.”
“And Britt?” she challenges. Firming her lips, she raises a single, demanding brow. “You hang out with her all the time. ”
“She’s just…” Frustration sizzles in my blood. “She’s my friend’s sister. It’s always been this way.”
“And you’ve always been happy to spend time with me.” She lies back on the halfpipe, her feet still on the ground, and her back arching against the wood. Smiling, she stares up at the stars and exhales. “Something changed, Luca. And I think that thing is that you’re attracted to me.”
Fuckkkkk her. Fuck her age. Fuck her brother. And fuck the stars, too.
“I think I’m not nearly confident enough to have this conversation with you, eye to eye,” she snickers. “But I’ve been sitting on it since my birthday. Trying to talk to you. Trying to understand the change. But you’ve made it impossible. It’s like I turned eighteen and developed a rash you really don’t want to catch.”
“That’s not true, Bear.” I move closer, slowing when ten feet separate me and her. Seven feet. Six. Already, her sweet perfume wafts through my nostrils and stops in the base of my lungs. “I’ve been working. We aren’t teenagers anymore. School isn’t my life. I have to work, and those shifts aren’t always conducive to hanging out with my friends.”
She tilts her head and glares, fearlessly calling me out on my shit. “You hang out with Marcus every single day.”
“He’s my best friend. I like to get a beer with him sometimes. So what?”
“You leave your beer half consumed and walk home when I turn up to hang out.”
Damn. It’s not like she’s wrong.
I look down at my feet and bite my lips together before she manages to squeeze a smile from me. “I have to be on shift early the next morning. Drinking a whole beer and staying out late would be irresponsible.”
“Liar.” She drops her hand to the side and pats the splintered, wooden platform. “Sit with me. Study the stars for a minute. No one else will come out here tonight.”
“Bear—”
“No one will see you. I won’t tell anyone.” She exhales a heavy, contented sigh and grins. “I love to stare up at the stars. It’s my absolute favorite thing to do. And I’d really, really like to share that with you.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity, fuck.
Loyalties can sometimes blur when a man is being asked by the love of his life to spend time with her. Jesus, lines cease to exist when his heart shatters open and something unexpected dives in.
Some one unexpected.
And no matter how hard he fights against it, no matter how strongly he clings to what is right, what is fair, and what will, eventually, hurt like hell when Marcus smashes his face in for looking at his sister, there’s only so much one can do to stop the inevitable.
So I force down the nerves in my throat and wander the rest of the way to the halfpipe. I stare at a watchful, grinning Kari, and hold my jaw firmly. I don’t open my mouth to speak. I don’t smile. I don’t even roll my eyes when she makes a double chin and a silly face.
But I turn and press my calves to the base of the halfpipe, lowering my ass to the shitty, bowing wood and know, months of hard work, of being where she’s not, and yet, watching over her to keep her safe anyway, will all be for naught if she gets her way.
“I can think you’re pretty, Bear.” Hesitant, I glance to my right and rest my chin on my own shoulder. “I can think you’re smart and funny and amazing. And I can even grieve the fact you’re heading off to college in a few weeks, leaving us behind and starting a life that doesn’t include me in it. Doesn’t mean I can step across a line set down more than a decade ago.”
“And that line is… what? Don’t mess around with your friend’s sister?”
I nod, ever so gently and firm my lips. “Amongst others. Messing around with your friend’s sister is a big one. But there’s also the friendship you and I share.”
“A friendship you’ve abandoned for most of this year. You dumped me faster than Sassy St Slut dumps hair colors.”
“I have a history,” I groan. I study her slender neck. The million freckles smattering her cheeks that kind of look like stars in the nighttime sky. “I’m not exactly known around town as a dude who takes relationships seriously.”
“I believe the word they use is slut.” Her plump lips curl playfully. “You’re known as a dirty, filthy, nasty fun-time, Luca. It’s okay; we know what they say.”
“Well… yeah,” I sigh. “That’s what they say. Because I’m the guy who dates for fun and spends time with women because I enjoy them.”
Her eyes darken. Dangerously. Threatening.
“I don’t take relationships seriously. I rarely revisit the same person more than a time or two. And I’m okay with what people say about it. I am who I am.”
“And perhaps you’re you, because you haven’t found a woman to take seriously yet.” She grabs my shoulder, digging her nails into my flesh until I feel her threat, then she drags me back until I lie flat on the halfpipe and my head tilts her way .
But now our eyes meet.
Her sweet breath on my tongue.
Her soft exhalations, a tickle on my lips.
“You’re a chauvinistic pig who tries women out like they’re a ‘trial before you buy’ kind of situation. It’s an icky personality trait to have.”
“Exactly, so?—”
“But I have a theory.” She glances down at my lips. It’s brief. Fleeting. So fucking inappropriate, I already hurt from the punishment Marcus is going to slam into my body. “My theory,” she whispers, “is that you’ve been waiting.”
“Waiting?”
She nods, just a tiny movement that somehow packs as much punch as if she’d swung her head around. “Waiting. Your heart knew those women weren’t right. But you were so caught up in loyalty and family and what was proper , you never stopped to examine the why and the who.”
“Kari—”
“Are you attracted to me, too, Luca?” Her green eyes glitter under a million stars. Her cheeks, warming because she’s just not this person. She’s not forward. Not confident. She doesn’t solicit a man and put her feelings on the table first. “I need you to answer me with just a yes or a no. There are no justifications allowed here. No qualifiers. It’s really simple. Are you attracted to me too?”
A long, pained groan works along my throat. “Bear… I can’t?—”
“Yes,” she growls. “Or no?”
“Yes.” I bring my head back around and my eyes up to the half-moon shining bright in the darkened sky. “Yes, I am. But it’s not gonna happen.”
She turns on the platform, resting on her side and cupping her face with her hand. I see her in my peripherals. But I refuse to drop my gaze and look her way again. “What’s not gonna happen?”
“You and me.”
“A relationship? Why not?”
“Because you’re a fucking child. Because you’re way too young to be thinking about anything with a guy like me.”
“I’m not a child.” And just to fuck with me, she hovers her free hand over my chest and traces the pattern of my shirt with the tip of her finger. “In fact, I haven’t been a child in quite some time.”
“You’re my best friend’s baby sister.”
“A topic that has been discussed ad nauseum. Men hit on your sisters every single day of their existence. Do you think it’s something you, as their brother, get to control?”
“No. But I’m not Marcus, and Marcus has made his wishes clear on the matter.”
“You mean, his wishes that I live a very long, very boring life with my girlfriends, seven cats, and absolutely no interaction with danger, excitement, or men?”
“Pretty much.” I reach up and take her hand. It’s short lived, and still, her eyes alight in my peripherals. But then I push it away and release her before I forget how.
Now her eyes darken. Narrow.
“You’re heading off to college.” I swallow and glance to the side. It’s a mistake. A weakness I swore not to give in to. But she’s so pretty. So sweet. And so close, I’m not sure in all my life I’ve been this near to her. “You’re leaving, Bear. And you’re gonna be gone for years.”
“School is an hour away, not the other side of the world. I could come home every single night if I wanted to. Every weekend if I was feeling lazy.”
“Being on the freeway every damn day is dangerous. And you’ll need weekends to catch up on your schoolwork.”
“So you don’t want me around?”
“I don’t want you to plan your life around a fucking relationship that can’t happen. You’re gonna be free, Bear!” Giving up on my distance, I flip onto my side and set my hand beneath my ear to cushion it from the splinters. “Our town has, like…” I wrack my brain and think of the welcome sign on the outskirts. “I dunno. Six thousand people. Max. Everyone knows everyone. There’s no such thing as career advancement unless the person above you retires or dies. There are no guys around here nearly good enough to date you. And if you sit your NCLEX and come back here to work, you’ll spend your life helping idiots who flip their cars at Piper’s Lane, and kids who screw around down at the steel mill. You have a chance to get away, Bear. A chance to escape Marc’s protective suffocation.”
Her eyes widen, scandalized and a little horrified. “You want me to move away from my brother?”
“I want you to have the choice. To be whoever you want to be. To do whatever you want to do. I love your brother, Kari, like he’s my brother, too. But I also know a trauma case when I see one. He needs help to understand what the fuck happened to him, and you need help to understand your life doesn’t have to be controlled by a man. ”
“And so…” Her lips curl higher. “In your attempt to piss Marcus off and set me free from his dictatorial regime, you’re telling me what to do? And on top of that, you’re especially certain you won’t cross the best friend picket line and kiss me on the halfpipe we all helped build and repair over the years?”
I drop my gaze to her lips. My hunger to taste her, almost jumping from my throat like a wildcat.
“Luca?”
“I didn’t say he was a dictator. Or that he should be escaped.” I force my eyes up, like a physical, torturous climb my soul rejects. But I stop on her eyes instead and enjoy that balm one feels after a burn. “I said I want you to have choices. Whatever they might be. Wherever. With whomever.”
“And if my choice is… you?”
Yes. Please. Fuck. For the love of god, let her be mine.
“Staying in this town and choosing me is not a choice at all, Bear. It’s a lack of choices. You have a crush, just like every other schoolgirl does over time. It’s a natural phenomenon for little sisters to flirt with their older brother’s friends. You think Britt isn’t hitting on Ang half the time? You think Jess and Laine don’t give me a heart attack daily, checking out Alex’s much older friends? It’s the way of the world. So of course, me walking you home when Marc was too busy to be there, and us hanging out at Popcorn Palace was gonna leave a mark on your soul.”
“We wrote songs together.”
“Yes.” I gulp so the ball of nerves lodged in my throat fights its way into my stomach. “And we’ve skated together. We’ve had secrets.”
“You took a beating from Garth Beaterman and his friends for me.”
“Because I’m here to protect you. I’m here to make sure you’re okay. But of course, all that history is gonna cloud your judgement. You think there’s something here, when in reality, all it is is a lack of choices.”
“So you won’t kiss me tonight?” She breaks our eye contact, stealing her soul away from me, and looks up at the sky instead. “Under the stars. While it’s just the two of us.”
“Bear…”
“You’d prefer I go off to college and screw around with those guys instead. To understand my options.”
The very thought is like a hot poker to my stomach. But I do the right thing. The selfless thing, and nod. “Yes. I want you to experience college life the right way.”
“So if I do that,” she drags her eyes back down, her long lashes, like wings framing the windows to her soul. “If I sleep around a little bit, kiss a few frogs, get that experience on my bedpost, so to speak…”
Filthy, disgusting, burning acid creeps along my throat.
“You’ll kiss me next summer? Since, by then, I’ll have all this worldly experience?”
“The theory stands,” I grit out, “that once you’ve made out with those frogs, you’ll have forgotten about your silly little crush.”
“You offend me.” She licks her dry lips and brings her arm back behind her head. Then she gives up on me, resting on her back instead, and stares up at the moon. “Invalidating my feelings. Calling them silly.” She looks to her left, just a movement of her eyes. “That hurts. Are you dating anyone else right now?”
“Am I…” I push up to my elbow and set my chin in my palm. “Why are you asking about my dating life?”
“Because I wanted to. You in a relationship I don’t know about?”
“No.”
“Bringing any women home that you haven’t told us about?”
“No.”
“When was the last time you went out on a date?”
“Kari, I don’t?—”
“Answer the question, Luca!” She shoves up to rest on her elbow, her chin folding in a wholly unflattering way, and yet, she’s totally, impossibly beautiful. “When was the last time you went on a date?”
“May. Why?”
Her eyes dance with something I haven’t yet figured out. “Interesting. And more weight added to my theory. How does it feel here,” she presses her palm to my chest, her fingers like fire against my skin that speeds my heart to a thudding roar, “to hear me plan out a year of casual fuckery with random men you’ll never know the names or faces of?”
Homicidal, mostly. Sick, definitely. “Hopeful,” I choke out, “that it’ll be the start of a very happy, fulfilling life that you won’t eventually regret.”
“You think I might regret staying?”
“Yes!” I take her hand and move it away. Second time. Second sin . “You stay in this podunk town in the middle of nowhere, hook up with a guy you’ve known your whole life, and see nothing of the world? Yes, you’ll regret it, Bear. What are your plans for this?” I look down between us, loathing the three inches that separate her body from mine. “We make out a few times. Break the news to Marc. I propose or risk his bullet in my back. We get hitched, make a few babies, destroy the career you’re about to build. And then… what? Die old, but together?”
“I don’t think Marcus would demand a proposal.” She’s entirely too fucking flippant about things, lying back and grinning up at the sky. “I think he’d sooner kill and bury you in the woods out by Popcorn Palace. I don’t intend to destroy my career. In fact, women have married and made babies for a long time, and they’ve still maintained outside employment. Oh, and,” she glances across to meet my stare. “I feel you’re jumping way ahead here. I’m not asking for marriage tonight. I’m asking for a kiss. Ya know… to test things out.”
“To test what out? How long I can live with Marcus’s fist planted squarely in the side of my face?”
She sniggers, full of fun and tempting. So fucking tempting.
“You’re exceptionally dramatic, considering the vocation you chose. Your job is literally to remain calm in high-stress situations. And yet, you’re here throwing out marriage proposals, best friend blow ups, and the sex talk, all before we’ve even kissed.”
“You’re trying to wear me down.” I drop to my back and close everything up. My eyes. My lips. My ears, if I could. My entire fucking soul, if only I hadn’t already given it to someone else. “You think you can be cute and consistent, and my baser instincts will give you anything you want.”
“It’s working, right?”
I feel her weight on my chest. The stab of her elbow against my sternum. Instantly, my eyes fling open and stop on hers, just two inches away. Her large halo of hair, blocking my view of the sky. Her gentle breath, coating my lips and tongue. And worst of all, her smile, swearing that everything is already agreed and sorted. “It’s just a kiss, Luca. You’ve done it a million times, I’m certain.”
Yeah. That’s the fuckin’ problem.
“I’m eighteen,” she insists. “I’m grown. And soon, I’ll be kissing someone else anyway.”
That’s a fuckin’ problem, too.
“Don’t let me go to college without knowing what it could be like.”
“Bear…” I groan. “Stop.”
“You love me,” she pleads. “Whether it’s familial, or friendship, or something more, something deeper, we can both acknowledge out loud that we have love.” She searches my eyes. “Right?”
Say no. Say no. Say no ! But I can’t. It’s impossible. So I dip my chin just a fraction of an inch. “Yes, Bear. There’s love. ”
“And we both know this isn’t me.” She looks down at my chest. At my lips. Then up to my eyes. “I don’t put myself forward like this, ever. I’m terrified of rejection. And here you are, saying no, time and time again.”
Pain lances through my gut and up to stab at my heart. “I’m not trying to reject you, I swear. I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“No. You’re trying to do the right thing. But that right thing is Marcus’ version of right. And yours.” She searches my eyes. “But what about mine?”
“What do you consider the right thing? Me having a one-night stand with my best friend’s sister, all because she was feeling bratty and wanted a quick fuck before college?”
“I said kiss,” she smirks. “I didn’t mention fucking. And yes, my version of right is experiencing some of the big things with someone who loves me. Someone I love in return. Would you have me trust some douchey Chad when he says, ‘ it’s okay, baby. Sex isn’t supposed to be pleasurable for you. Just for me .’” She deepens her tone, setting my temper on fire. “Or, ‘ it’s okay, babe. Kissing includes me grabbing your tit, even if you didn’t say I could. ’”
“If someone grabs you without your permission, you cut his nuts out and call me so I can help clean up. If he fucks you and it doesn’t feel good, then he didn’t do it right.”
“Should I cut his nuts out, too? For being a dud.”
“Yep. Then you aim for better. Because the one you chose was useless. You’re not the first inexperienced girl to go off to college, Kari. It’s okay to not know everything right away.”
“It’s just a kiss, Luc.” She drags her bottom lip between her teeth and searches my eyes. She readjusts her weight on my chest, pressing down on my ribs and reminding me of the beating I took for her years ago. “Just one time,” she implores. “I’ll never tell Marcus. And for the rest of our lives, even after I head off to college and marry someone else who’ll impregnate me and ruin my life, we can continue to sit across from each other at family dinner and know, we have our secrets.”
She walks her fingers over my chest and around to stroke my neck. It’s like fire and ice in one, a nirvana-like touch that sets me ablaze, and yet, soothes my soul.
“I want to have that secret with you.” She pauses for a moment, smirking when my eyes flicker between hers. “I’ve thought about it since I was fifteen years old and you stopped being that annoying guard dog I was trying to hide from, and instead, you turned exceptionally handsome in my eyes.”
“You’re asking for trouble.” And I’m running out of excuses . “Kari…”
She inches forward. Closer, closer, until I think my heart might stop completely. Her lips are just a hair’s breadth from mine. Her lashes, almost near enough to touch my cheeks. Best and worst of all, her heart pounds against mine.
Her intentions, clear as day and as unavoidable as a collision on the freeway.
“I’m going to kiss you,” she whispers. “So if you’re ever asked, you can deny being the instigator.” Closer, until her moving lips brush against mine. “If you love me at all, in any way or form, at any point in our lives, then I’d like for you to kiss me back. Because if I’m being completely and totally honest,” she pulls back to search my expression, “rejection might break my heart.”
I slide my hand into her hair. I don’t mean to. My fingers combing into her locks. I swear to god, I don’t make the decision to move my arm. But I still find myself cupping the side of her head. My heart, thundering in my chest until I’m certain it’ll burst free and fly away.
“Just one time,” I groan. “Because I’m not gonna be the guy who breaks your heart.”
“Thank god.” Her breath comes out on an emotional shudder that claws at my soul. But then she folds in closer, keeping up her end of the deal and being the one who starts us.
Because when the day comes and Marcus finds out what I’ve done, I have to be able to say I fought it.
She presses her lips to mine, hesitant at first. Shaky, like she thinks I could actually reject her at this point.
But then she gets brave, moving her lips, opening them fractionally. Stroking my bottom lip with the very tip of her tongue.
She undoes me.
Her vulnerability destroys me.
But her fear… it shatters my willpower.
I fist my hand in her hair and tighten until a devastating whimper rockets along her throat and out to bathe my tongue. But then I smile. Her eyes turn to molten lava. And I ruin all the ‘ I didn’t start it ’ bullshit when I push up to my elbow and cushion her head until she’s lying on her back, her heart thundering and her breath racing. Lowering over her, I press my lips over hers and taste her tongue on mine. I squeeze my eyes shut and lock down on every muscle in my body, refusing myself the opportunity to touch her the way I want to. To have her the way my body craves.
I slide my tongue along her bottom lip and groan when she whimpers. Suckling on her lips and tasting her right down into my soul. I release the fist-hold I have on her hair, only to growl when she reaches up and forces my hand back into place.
She wants me to hold on. She wants me to be in charge.
I fight against everything I am when my hips would have me climbing over her delicate body. Pinning her down. Separating her legs and finding comfort in her warmest places.
Because fuck, if I could, I would.
If I knew for sure we wouldn’t regret it tomorrow, I’d take her out here and satisfy the million questions firing through my mind.
“We have to stop.” I break our kiss with a gasp, pulling back and pressing my lips to her shoulder instead. A poor second choice. A mirage to a starving man. “Fuck, Bear.” I bury my face in the warm curve of her neck and work to collect my wits.
My common sense.
Marcus could be standing over us right now, clutching a meat cleaver and ready to lop my head off, and I wouldn’t even know it.
“That wasn’t so bad.” Humming with satisfaction, she releases my hand and allows me to place it on the halfpipe instead. To push myself off her chest and create space, though we both know it’s too late for that.
I’ve crossed the line I said I wouldn’t. I’ve tasted her.
I sampled Kari Macchio, and now I’m a man addicted.
“Tulips.”
Stunned, reeling, I turn and lower to my back beside her. My shoulder touching hers, and her long, wild hair, tickling the bare flesh of my arm. My breath continues to heave. To search for fresh air, and yet, it scrambles to keep her inside me.
“Luca?”
“Hmm?” I just turn my head and search her eyes. “What?”
“Tulips.”
“The flowers? What about them?”
“I don’t want roses. I don’t want diamonds. When you want to show me affection, or apologize for something you did, or maybe even just because , I like tulips.”
“Oh…kay?”
“I like chocolate. White chocolate is better than milk chocolate. Milk chocolate is better than dark chocolate. I prefer my steak cooked until it’s still just a little pink. I don’t want it to bleed, but I also don’t want it to be all brown.”
“Alright… ”
“I like to read. All the time. All the books. I like the kissy kind. The ones where the hero would do anything for his heroine. Where he will be anything she needs.” She rises to her elbow and looks down at me. “I like staring up at the stars more than anything else. And quality time spent with those I love. I don’t want diamonds or chocolate or even tulips if I can have time instead. Oh, and I’ve been waiting for years for you to invite me onto the back of your motorcycle.”
“Onto my bike?” I choke out. “Marc would kill me!”
“He’ll wanna kill you for kissing me anyway.” She leans in and drops a fast, sneaky kiss to the center of my lips. “We won’t tell him. I like coffee first thing in the morning. It’s not an addiction, it’s a routine. I could quit any time.”
I narrow my eyes and question her honesty.
“I’m going to be an RN. Ultimately, I’d like to work trauma in the ER. So comfortable shoes and a nice watch are probably right up there for yearly Christmas gifts. I want children someday. Lots of them.”
“Children?” I scramble onto my elbows and pull back to place space between me and her. “Kari, hold on?—”
“I don’t necessarily mean with you. I don’t even need you to get me steak or shoes or books. But I’m sharing the things you don’t know about me. So eventually, someday, when you’re not afraid of my brother and if we continue kissing some more, you’ll have a head start. And if not, then I’ll tell these things to the next guy I kiss. And the guy after that. Eventually, one of them will be the right one, and at that point, he’ll order my steak exactly right, and maybe he’ll have a motorcycle too.”
“I’m not taking you on my bike.” Hard stop. No way. Not happening. “It’s too dangerous.”
“Then maybe a guy in college will.” Satisfied, she flops back down and brings her hand up to touch her plump bottom lip. “I liked kissing you, Luca. It was better than I expected.”
“Kari—”
“And you gave in way faster than I expected.”
“For fuck’s sake.” I slam my eyes shut and groan. I’m a dead man .