19. Luc
19
LUC
OUCH
“ J esus.” Kane rubs his palms over his cheeks, much the same way Kari did all those years ago. “Fucking brutal, man.”
“Ya think?” Shaking my head, I look down at Billy and scoff. “Kinda hope to never experience a discussion like that ever again.”
“Why’d she come back to town, though?” He sits forward at the table, resting his elbows on top and linking his tatted fingers together. “Like, I get that she saw you the night before. And that probably spooked her. But she told you point blank you don’t get to ask about her relationship. She said you don’t get to ask about her life. So she wasn’t there to explain Biff.”
“She was, actually.” I sit back in my chair and revisit some of the darkest days of my life.
Darkest… until now.
“It took a lot of years for the truth to come out, but Kari admitted she was coming home to explain that he was just a friend.”
“A friend?” he snorts. “Yeah, no. Blake was not a friend. He was a ten-inch dick she liked to spend time with. But then she got caught.”
“No.” Chuckling—because it’s not like I didn’t believe the girls at first, too—I play with Billy’s peach hair and wrinkle my nose. “Setting what you think you know aside, it eventually came out that Kari and Blake were friends. Buddies in class. They became kinda close, but they were never intimate.”
“Dude! The girls call him Ten ! ”
“And if you asked Jess today, she’d laugh and tell you how they called him that because it was funny. These are the same girls who snuck a butt plug into Jess’ bag and let you assume it was hers. The same girls who snuck around the club and scoped out the one blind spot that existed, so they could dance and drink and flirt without their brothers supervising them. Blake got that nickname because he’s tall. But none of them, especially not Kari, knows what size cock he has. And last I heard, he and his boyfriend, Clint, are quite happy together.”
“You lie.” Kane narrows his eyes. “You’re more gullible than a puppy if you believe that.”
“Kari and I went to his wedding two years ago, but okay. You believe whichever version you want. You asked why Kari rushed home to see me, and I’m telling you: she wanted to explain Blake.”
“But she didn’t! She told you to mind your business.”
“She’s stubborn. And she’d seen me stumble home from a one-night stand. Her plans went out the window the second I screwed up. We fought that night, and so, instead of explaining, she tossed lighter fluid and a match on anything we had left. Because of what I did.”
“Years?” He tilts his head to the side to study me. “Took her years to fess up?”
I exhale a long, tired sigh and look down as Billy finally begins to fuss. Her little body wriggles, her chapped lips wrinkle. She’s not quite awake yet, but she will be. Soon. “She went back inside the house after our argument and kept her word on not telling Britt she knew. All four of them returned to school the next morning. And I…” I groan. “I didn’t see Kari again for another three years.”
“Another three!” His black eyes, and the permanent lines etched into his cheeks below, lift in surprise. “Three years! Lenaghan. That’s six, gone. For no good reason at all.”
“Six,” I agree. “Gone. And though the first three were spent alone and sad and working, the latter three were not quite the same.”
“You slutted it up,” he guesses. “Which was the reputation I heard around town. Before you eventually settled down with Kari, word was you were nothing but a filthy whore.”
I bring Billy up to rest her cheek on my chest and let her legs dangle. She’s working through a gas bubble that gravity might help. “As far as I knew, Kari was heading back to Ten. I thought I’d lost her, so I…” I grit my teeth and pat Billy’s backside. “I spiraled a little bit. I’m not proud of it. But I’m man enough to admit my mistakes. ”
“Brave of you,” he smirks. Then pushing up from his place at the table, he steps around and extends his hands for the baby. “She’s about to drop a giant deuce, and then she’ll want a bottle.”
“So you’re volunteering to clean her diaper?”
“I want more babies, Luca.” He takes Billy and holds her close. “I want a dozen more the way I used to want to make bad decisions.”
“So…”
“Jess doesn’t want a dozen more. I figure changing a massive, smelly shit might bring me back to earth on the baby front.” He chuckles and turns away, swaying and almost dancing with my daughter across the kitchen. “So Kari was sneak-dating a gay man who may, or may not, have had a giant dick, and you were sorry for sleeping with Britt, so in apology, you went out and slept with every other single female in the state.” He glances back with a grin. “That’s where we’re up to in the story?”
“Seems that way.” I don’t get up. I don’t think my legs could carry me if I tried. But I meet his eyes before he disappears around the corner and out of sight. “I fucked everything up to a point of no return. I broke Kari’s heart… again . I drunk-slept with my friend’s little sister, and I sure as shit never told him about it. In fact, I considered myself a saint for not sharing that information, since Britt didn’t want anyone to know, Kari didn’t want anyone to know, and Scotch was still dealing with the wife who left his heart shattered on the side of the road thing. I was the martyr for shutting my mouth.”
“Bet you were,” Kane snorts. “Total martyr. Make the bottle, I’ll change the diaper. Then you’re cooking me breakfast. Jess and the girls are gonna drop by in a little bit. And I don’t know about you, but listening to your heartbreak and six wasted years makes me yearn for my family.”
“Glad I could be of assistance,” I drawl. I slump in my chair and drop my head back until I study the ceiling above. There’s no popcorn texture in this house. No water stains in the paint. There aren’t even spiderwebs taking up residence in the corners.
While he’s gone, I try not to think of those lost six years. The massive chunk of my life wasted on all the wrong things.
Most importantly, I try not to think of this past year of us being together. The ways I didn’t hold up my end of every deal we made. The pregnancy Kari carried, not alone, but certainly not with the partner she deserved. The house she worked for, once again, not alone, but not with the husband she was promised.
I try not to think of the car accident that ended everything .
Or that Billy and I are home again… alone. Not with the wife and mom we wished for.
“ S hhh…” Jess’ soft, sweet voice carries across my house and into the kitchen. “We have to be quiet,” she whispers. “Uncle Luc and Baby Billy might still be asleep.”
“They’re not.” Kane traipses down our stairs, squeaking on the third from the top, and again on the fourth from the bottom. Then he stops by the front door when a bevy of little girl squeals surround him and, I’m certain, Billy. “The baby just dropped a giant turd, girls.” He animates his voice and makes his twins giggle. “Swear, it was bigger than my whole arm.”
“Eww!” Luna—a.k.a. Nugget—cackles and stomps her little feet. “That’s gross!”
“She’s your cousin, Nug. That poop was your family.”
“And now it’s down the toilet.” Rosalie—a.k.a. Chicken—giggles. “Billy’s butt isn’t even the size of your arm, Daddy. Her whole body isn’t the size of your arm.”
“That’s because Daddy is super strong.” I hear the peck of a kiss. The familiar sound of a husband and wife greeting each other after being apart. “Blondie. I missed the shit out of you.”
“We missed you.” I catch a glimpse of her sweeping Billy from Kane’s hold, then as she sets bags on the floor and wanders this way. “Uncle Jay and Aunty Soph hardly ever sleep. Like,” she presses a noisy kiss to Billy’s cheek. “Barely at all! Which is something I guess they’ve taught their girls. Who then felt the need to keep our girls awake. So now Aunty Jess needs coffee and a long vacation.” She steps into the kitchen and flashes a smile for me. “Hey there, handsome. You look like you haven’t slept in a thousand years.”
“Kinda feels that way.” A long yawn wracks my frame and stretches my mouth wide. My jaw clicks, and my eyes water as I squeeze them shut. But I pull it all back in. Forcing my mouth shut and my body to relax. “We’ve been up since two, I think.”
Surprised, Jess peeks over her shoulder at Kane. “Billy give you guys a hard time?”
“Not at all.” He holds his girls, one on each hip, and makes it look easy. “Baby woke at two for something to eat. But then Luca got lonely, I suppose, because he came downstairs and sat at that table to tell me a story about a dude known only as Ten .”
“Ten?” Jess’ cheeks flame bright red. Her eyes widen as she glances back around to me. Then she barks out a laugh loud enough to have her girls stare. “Oh my gosh! Ten! I forgot all about that name.”
“How much of Ten did you know, Blondie?” Kane wanders up behind her. And since his hands are full, he leans in and bites the back of her neck.
He bites. My sister’s. Neck.
Gag.
“Did you see proof of this appendage you and your girly pop friends declared a ten?”
She cackles, her chest and shoulders bouncing with humor. “He’s such a fun guy.”
“He slept over at your apartment! Luc is over here telling me the dude was gay, but the first part of his story had Blake sleeping with Kari.” His eyes widen, faux shock. “Did she turn him?”
Jess drops her elbow back and nails her husband in the middle of his stomach. “Blake was gay. Blake also stayed at our apartment every now and then. Ya know,” she firms her lips and looks over her shoulder to him, “people can be friends, platonically. Even if one is a guy and the other is a girl.”
“I’m calling shenanigans.”
“You would.” She meets my eyes. “He doesn’t think anyone of the opposite sex can be friends without at least testing the tip.”
“Not completely true,” Kane grumbles. “I’m friends with the Twink.”
“Laine?” She rolls her eyes. “She’s married. She’s a mom. Ang would kill you. And that’s even if you survive me. Since I don’t accept sleeping with someone’s sister.”
“Ironic.” Midnight black eyes swing across and pin me to my chair. “Considering where we’re up to in Lenaghan’s story. He bedded Britt.”
Jess grits her teeth, her lips thinning and her eyes dancing. “Admittedly, that was a bad move.”
“So Kari knew from day one,” Kane surmises. “And Britt obviously knew. And neither of them said a word?”
“Nope.” I sit back and run my fingers through my hair. “They both kept their word. Britt wasn’t saying shit, and she had no clue Kari knew. And she sure as hell had no clue the woman I was pining for was her best friend. So it wasn’t weird on Britt’s part. And Kari wasn’t saying anything, because she hated me, and she didn’t want to fracture the relationship she had with her foster sister. She understood Britt had no clue, so it wasn’t a crime on Britt’s part.”
“Just yours,” Jess acknowledges. “Kari was mad only at you.”
“I have no clue what life was like for her for the next few years,” I admit. “She didn’t come home to hang out. No Christmases. No birthdays. Not even when Mr. and Mrs. Turner set off for their world trip. Nothing.” I glance down at the table and spy my empty coffee mug. Yearning for more but not quite ready to get up and make it. “She was gone, and as far as I knew, she was dating Blake. I was locked out, and no one even thought to give me intel, since I couldn’t tell them what was going on between us. I especially couldn’t tell them why she was mad at me.”
“But you snuck information from Marcus.” Jess wanders to the kitchen counter, holding Billy in one experienced arm and pulling the fridge open with her free hand, while Kane sets the twins on their feet and allows them to explore.
Our home is already kid proofed. Toys abound, and soft edges ensure everyone is safe.
Thanks to Kari.
“You and Marcus were always pretty tight,” Jess continues. “Same age. Same grade. Ang and Scotch were in the band as well, but they were close, and you and Marcus were close. It’s just the way things were.”
“Right,” I agree. “So I caught updates from Marc, mostly. That Kari was doing well in school. That she was graduating. That she was preparing for her NCLEX.” I look at Kane. “She had to sit those final exams before she could practice and take a placement in the hospital.”
“Why didn’t she stay in the city and work there? Earlier, I get she wanted to come home and be with everyone else. She wanted to be with you,” he clarifies. “But by the end of her degree, she was pissed and wanted nothing to do with you. Whether Ten was gay or straight, she’d clearly created a special relationship with him. So why not stay there and work at whatever hospital he ended up at?”
“She did,” Jess answers. “Sort of.” Closing the fridge, she turns with a bottle of regular cow’s milk and sets it on the counter. Reaching up, she grabs a couple of small, plastic cups, and prepares to pour a little for the girls. “Blake failed his NCLEX the first time they sat it. He’s good at his job. And he’s a good guy. But I guess things just weren’t working in his favor that year because he bombed.”
Kane studies his wife expectantly. “Did Kari bomb?”
I snort. “No chance. She graduated top of her class, since clearly she had all that rage to fuel her education, and a secret gay best friend to keep her mind off guys. She tests well. But Blake on the other hand?—”
“Failed his NCLEX,” Jess adds. “Then he re-sat them at the next opportunity a few months later. Bombed those, too.”
Kane grits his teeth that way people do when they’re thinking ‘ eek ’.
“Kari wasn’t having it,” Jess finishes. “So she studied with him for the third attempt. It was one of those no man left behind missions. So while Blake was freaking out about his future, Kari was sitting on a nursing degree and able to practice. She refused to bail on the poor guy, so she signed a twelve-month contract with the hospital in the city.”
“Which isn’t common,” I clarify since Kane wouldn’t know. “Typically, a nurse just gets his or her job and… that’s it. They stay. Or they don’t. When they’re leaving, they give two weeks notice. Kari, being the clever one she is, was headhunted for a clinic in the city, and in exchange, she got some kind of grant that essentially wiped out her college debt.”
“Money,” Kane acknowledges, “in exchange for a year of her life.”
“Right. And since Blake was spiraling, it worked out anyway. Laine and Britt were in their final year of college too, and Jess was spreading shit out, since she likes to be difficult.”
Jess, our lawyer, only grins. “Difficult? Or thorough?”
“Difficult,” Kane decides. But he winks when she flattens her lips. “So everyone was still in the city.”
“Yep, for that extra year,” I clarify. “I learned that through Marcus, too. I learned about Blake’s NCLEX failures. And Kari’s contract that would keep her away. I learned about the clinic she was helping build. And the relationship I thought she was having with Blake was seemingly flourishing.”
“Since she decided to stay back and be with him,” Kane sniggers. “Makes sense.”
“So by the time the girls graduated and were preparing to come home, I was on the edge of my fucking seat, dying for information on what Kari would be doing. They were giving up their apartment since the others were coming back. The question I was screaming in my mind was, what about Kari ? Was she moving in with the ten-inch dick, or was she coming back to town and settling in at our hospital, which was the plan all along?”
“And let’s not forget your gentle manipulations,” Jess giggles. “The, ‘Oh gosh, Marc, didn’t she promise to come back and work at our hospital? ’ and the, ‘ Oh gee, don’t you miss her, Macchio? You should visit the city this weekend and remind her of the job she could have if she came back .’” Snickering, she fills the plastic cups halfway and offers them as each twin marches through the kitchen. “‘ Wow, the crime rates sure are getting a little high in the city these days, Marc. How do you feel about that? ’”
“I did what I had to do,” I grumble. Though my lips curl with smug satisfaction. “You three were coming home, and the options, as far as I saw them, were between forcing her home, even if she didn’t like it, or letting her shack up with the dick.” I firm my lips and lift a single, challenging brow. “I knew which route I was taking.”
“Though god forbid you pick up the phone and just…” Jess rolls her eyes. “Call her.”
I shrug and look down at sweet Billy. Her eyes are open, which isn’t a super common occurrence for her yet. She’s still in the calm new-newborn phase. The one where I’m not sure she’s aware she was even born yet. “I was getting desperate. She left as a teenager. She was, at that point, a beautiful, intelligent, and dangerously stubborn mulish woman who needed to be reminded of the promises she made years before. I wanted her back here, and I was willing to annoy Marc to make it happen.”
“Pretty sure the courts call that coercion.” She brings her free hand up and studies her nails. “Controlling, even.”
“I call it a gentle nudge for the greater good.” I smile when she drops her hand and looks across. “From where I stood, she’d been in a long-term relationship, and Marc wasn’t setting the city on fire. She was grown. She was sexually active—or so I thought—and she had graduated from school.”
“Pretty sure we call that open season,” Kane sniggers. “She was a giant, red bullseye, and you, Luca, were done being the martyr. Game on.”