Chapter Twenty Two
There were shackles around Luis’s ankle. Shackles that were attached to the middle frame of the bed. No matter how hard Luis pulled, he couldn’t move the bed frame.
The chain was just short enough to keep him from reaching the window. The escape. Luis scrabbled at the wall, trying to pull himself closer. He had to get out before they came back.
He yanked and yanked at the cuffs, and they cut into his skin. The bed wouldn’t move. He couldn’t reach the window. Panic filled his lungs, choking him.
They would come for him soon. They’d drag him to the van, drive him to the middle of nowhere and no one would ever find him again.
The window was right there–so close–and Luis couldn’t reach it.
The cuffs started to cut in, hot blood leaking onto the floor. He tugged at them with useless rage.
Then there were steps outside the door. The lock disengaged. They were going to hurt him, change him. Make him into someone else.
“Luis,” a voice said, close and urgent. Hands came down on his shoulders, holding him still, and he flailed, lashing out.
“LUIS,” this time the voice was louder, and his eyes shot open.
Instead of the basement, he was in a bedroom. Karim was above him, hands on his shoulders trying to wake him.
He’d been having a nightmare.
There was wetness on his cheek. “Sorry,” he said, reaching to wipe his face.
But Karim just pulled him up into a hug. He was so broad and sturdy and warm. Luis buried his face against Karim’s neck and breathed him in. He smelled like Julien, a bit of violet around the edges.
He clutched tight at Karim. If Karim was here, nothing bad could happen.
“You had a nightmare,” came Julien’s soft voice. Steps crossed the room, and then a hand carded through Luis’s hair and down his sweaty neck.
Something unlocked in his stiff muscles. The panic receded, and Luis took a deep, easier breath. When he opened his eyes, they caught on the far window. There were specks of sunlight around the edges of the blackout curtains.
“I woke you up,” he said miserably as he forced himself to pull away from Karim.
“It’s okay,” Julien said soothingly. “We heard you scream and we were worried something was wrong.”
Luis wiped his eyes and turned to look at the other vampire. He was in a matched set of rumpled pajamas, his braided hair messy from sleep.
“What time is it?” Luis asked.
“About eight,” Karim said.
So they’d just gone to bed.
“I’m sorry. I’m fine now. It was just a nightmare,” Luis said, looking between the two of them. “You should go back to bed.”
“We can stay with you, it’s no trouble,” Julien said.
But it was trouble. They’d done more than enough for him, and he didn’t need to be ruining their sleep too.
“No, it’s okay,” Luis said. “I’d just feel worse–I’ll get up and have something to eat, shake it off. I’ll be fine.” Luis had gone to sleep a few hours before them, and would still be a few hours short if he stayed up now.
But the idea of laying back down and falling back into that dream made him sick to his stomach.
The two vampires had a silent back-and-forth conversation, and then Karim eased up off the bed.
“Okay, we’ll leave you to it. But if you need us, we’re just in the next room.”
Luis nodded. “Thank you, and I’m sorry. For waking you.”
“We’re just glad it wasn’t anything more serious,” Julien said, his hand slipping off of Luis and taking Karim’s. “We’ll see you this evening.”
“Goodnight,” Luis said.
After they left, Luis flopped back on his bed with a gusty sigh. Were the night terrors going to be a regular thing now?
Awesome.
##
On the second day that Luis woke from a nightmare to Julien and Karim in his room, Luis sent them back to bed, and went downstairs and called the detective.
The sun was still up, so it went to voicemail. Luis left a message inquiring about arrests. Maybe knowing they weren’t still out there would help? Luis didn’t know, but he couldn’t keep doing this. The guilt from disrupting Julien and Karim’s schedules was eating at him.
Hours later, when the sun set, Detective Sarris called him back with the news that they’d arrested Eric Moran, Pastor John Baker, and his mother so far, and were following leads on who else was involved.
When Luis hung up, instead of feeling relieved, he just felt angry. His mother was somewhere in a jail cell, and it was his fault. He knew she’d pushed him to this, but he hated her for it. Hated that it had to be him to do it.
He had every right, and a part of him still felt like he’d betrayed her. Who had their mother arrested?
He scrubbed a frustrated hand through his hair. Wasn’t he supposed to be past this guilt? Luis squeezed his eyes shut and imagined his guitar smashed up in a dumpster somewhere. He’d done the right thing.
It wasn’t fair he had to feel bad about this too.
Every night that week Luis had a nightmare. They were all slightly different variations on a theme. In every one he was in the basement of the church and couldn’t get out.
He shifted his schedule to be more in line with Julien and Karim’s, thinking maybe the change would shake something different out of his subconscious.
It didn't.
By Thursday, Luis started setting alarms every two hours so he wouldn’t slip too deep into sleep and dream. It worked for three days until, exhausted, he slept through an alarm and woke up screaming.
Karim was beside him when he woke. Julien stood in the doorway.
“I’m fine,” Luis said quickly, gasping for air. “Sorry, sorry.”
The fear still felt close, and he tried to swallow it back down. It was over. He needed to get over this.
“Stop apologizing,” Karim groused. “You’ve nothing to be sorry for.”
“I’m waking you both up almost every night.” His hands twisted together until Karim set one of his own on top.
“You’ve been through a lot,” Julien said carefully.
“Yeah, well. It’s over now. They’ve arrested half the people,” Luis said bitingly. “I just–I should start looking for new apartments. Stop bothering you.”
Karim made a sound of derision, and Julien stepped closer. “Sweetheart, you’re welcome to stay, it’s no bother,” Julien said. “We’re glad you’re here, safe.”
“But…” Luis gestured vaguely.
“I didn’t sleep for a month,” Karim said, “After my father tried to stake me in bed.”
Luis jolted. “What?”
Karim shrugged. “Bad parents, you and I have that in common.”
Julien’s hand fell on Karim’s shoulder giving it a squeeze.
“It’s true,” Julien said. “He still has periods where he has nightmares, even though his father has been dead for a long, long time now. What you’re going through…
we don’t expect you to just get over it.
We don’t expect anything. However you feel, however you work through it, we’re just here to support you. ”
Karim’s hand on his squeezed, and Luis felt the corners of his eyes prickle.
“God, you two are too nice,” Luis said.
Karim snorted. “I don’t think anyone’s called me too nice before.”
Julien laughed.
“Listen,” Karim said, more seriously, “What works for me sometimes is changing the environment. When I’m having a hard time, sometimes I’ll go sleep in a different bedroom, or we’ll repaint the walls. Putting yourself in a different space can nudge your brain on a new path.”
Luis looked at him dubiously. “I’m not going to repaint your walls,” he said.
Karim rolled his eyes. “No, idiot, but maybe–” He paused, turning to look at Julien.
“I don’t know,” Julien said, as if Karim had asked something.
“That’s not a no,” Karim said, then he turned back to Luis. “What about sleeping with us?”
Luis blinked at him, lost. “What?”
“New environment, and maybe you’d feel better with someone around. Our bed is spacious enough,” Karim said.
Luis opened his mouth, then closed it.
“Uh,” Luis said.
“Maybe you could think about it,” Julien said. “As an option. No pressure.”
“Some pressure,” Karim said with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes, “our bed is super comfortable.”
Luis flushed, and Karim’s hand squeezed his knowingly.
“Stop teasing him,” Julien said in warning. Then to Luis, “Truly, no pressure. Just think about it. We want to help.”
“I will,” Luis conceded.
When they left him to go back to sleep, Luis curled back up in his own bed and tried not to imagine curling up in theirs. Tried not to think about how much he wanted it.
And what a dangerous idea that was.
##
During the following week every time Luis closed his eyes, he dropped back into that basement. Sometimes his mom was there, sometimes it was Eric. Sometimes he was chained up, sometimes he was drugged. In every version, he was helpless.
Tuesday Luis spent bitterly looking up apartments and putting in applications.
Julien and Karim kept saying he could stay as long as he needed, but Luis knew it couldn’t be forever.
He needed his space; he needed to move all his things.
Eventually he had to go back to work, and he needed a desk, a routine.
Plus, the longer he spent here with the two of them being so nice, the worse Luis was beginning to feel.
He was a loser, a burden, and even if they were too nice to say it, him being here was a disruption on their life.
They still had a business to run, and now several times a night they came up from the basement to check on him. To make sure he was okay.
And Luis hated it. He craved their time and attention, and hated himself for being the black hole pulling their lives off course.
Even the texts from Cassie were starting to irritate him.
Everyone was being so kind to him, and Luis didn’t deserve it.
He’d made this mess of his life by being a coward, by seeking his mother’s approval long after it was clear to anyone else that it was never going to happen.
If he’d just put in boundaries, if he’d cut off contact with her soon, if he’d been an adult–
The worst part was no one blamed him. No one thought anything he’d done was worth criticism, not even Karim.