Chapter Twenty Two #2
By Friday he’d shut himself in his bedroom so he wouldn’t bite anyone’s head off. Luis was darkly scrolling through social media to waste time when his phone alarm went off.
Blood!
He groaned. How long had it been? At least a week and a half since he’d been bitten.
Luis rubbed a hand across the back of his stiff neck. When they’d gone to his apartment, Luis had grabbed his medical bag. It was sitting now in his closet. He made himself get up and grab the tester and the strips.
Even before the number appeared on the screen, Luis knew what the outcome would be.
He swore when the number appeared, and tossed the tester back into his medical bag.
God, he was tired. Tired of the nightmares, tired of being a burden. Tired of his body that caused him so much pain that he had no control over.
“Fuck you,” he said to the ceiling with venom. Whether he was talking to his mother or himself or the universe was anyone’s guess.
Maybe he was talking to all three.
##
Luis ignored the test results for two days, dragging his feet and rebuffing Julien and Karim every time they tried to ask him what was wrong.
He knew he was acting childish, ungrateful, but he couldn’t make himself stop.
A part of him knew it was self-sabotage.
Like maybe if he was poor enough company, they’d just kick him out and he wouldn’t have to remove himself.
Cassie called and he sent her to voicemail. She texted him and he ignored them.
Instead of getting angry, everyone gave him space and understanding.
It pissed Luis the fuck off.
Then it was Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. The days slipped by in a blur of scrolling on his phone and apartment searches.
Friday came again.
Julien and Karim hadn’t said a thing last week about the bar.
But now it was the second week. It was supposed to be the things-back-to-normal week.
Luis marched downstairs when he was sure both of them were up. He found Karim in the kitchen pulling ingredients from the refrigerator and Julien seated at the island on a laptop.
“I need you both to stop being so nice to me,” Luis declared from the doorway. They both paused and turned to look at him.
“Stop being nice to you?” Julien asked, confusion seated between his brows.
Luis’s chest heaved a hot breath. “You’re giving me all this time and space. You haven't demanded I move out, help around the house, or even drive you to the bar.”
Julien tilted his head curiously. “And you’d like us to?”
“I don’t want you to starve!” Luis said.
“Nobody’s starving,” Karim said. “We have blood here.”
“You hate bottled!” Luis accused.
“It’s not that bad,” Karim shrugged.
Luis made a sound of frustration and almost grabbed at his hair. “Everyone’s just–just tiptoeing around me. I hate it. You can’t just let me–” He gestured vaguely, “you can’t just let me take advantage of you.”
Julien’s tone went even more delicate. “You’ve been through a lot, Luis–”
“Stop! Just–fuck. It feels like–” His voice stuck for a second, “I put you in danger, I literally pointed a vampire-hating terrorist group in your direction. You hired me because you trusted me to keep you safe. I’ve–I’ve done the opposite of that because I’m a coward and–and now I’m just sitting in your house, useless.
You’ve both been so patient and kind and I’ve been awful and–I can’t stand it, I hate it!
I hate myself and–” Luis was breathing too quickly, words pinching in his need to get them out.
Julien stood. He stepped closer and his hands laid carefully down on Luis’s shoulders. “Take a breath,” Julien said.
Luis did.
“Good, slow in and out.”
Luis did.
Julien nodded. “Alright. You haven’t been sitting here useless.
You’ve been resting. Healing. And you didn’t put us in danger; we’ve always been in danger from people who hate us.
You could’ve done everything right, and there’d always be that risk.
That’s what it is to be who we are. Neither of us blame you.
” He turned his head to Karim who nodded in agreement.
“But–” Luis started, but Julien cut him off.
“No,” he said, soft but final, “You will not tell me how I feel.”
Luis’s shoulders sagged. “I just feel so guilty, so useless,” Luis said.
Julien gazed down at him, “I can’t do anything about guilty, but if you need to feel productive while you’re here, we can do something about that. If you need… structure, I can provide that.”
“What do you mean?” Luis asked, but there was a hopeful tilt to the question. He felt like he was drowning and desperately wanted for something to get him back on steadier ground.
“Jules,” Karim said, but Julien didn’t take his eyes off Luis.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time alone in your room. I think it’s not helping,” Julien said thoughtfully. “We’ve been giving you space, but if that’s not what you need, I can stop giving you space.”
That sounded… not terrible.
“Okay,” Luis said.
“I could treat you the same as Karim. He works best with structure, guidance. Do you think that would help?” Julien asked.
Just the words were like a soothing balm. “Yes,” Luis said breathlessly. “Please. I want to help out, I don’t want to just–just sit around.”
Julien nodded. “You were a great help cleaning the house last time. I can give you tasks again while you’re staying with us. Does that sound like something you’d like?”
“Jules, are you sure?” Karim said.
The question was odd, like there was context Luis was missing.
Luis nodded. “Yeah, I want to help.”
Julien paused. One hand slid to the back of Luis’s neck, squeezing there a moment. “And you’ll tell me if anything I ask of you is too much.”
Heat spread up into Luis’s cheeks, but he didn’t know why. “Okay,” he said.
Then Julien’s hands slid off him, and the tension in Luis’s body went with it. “Good. So that’s settled. Now something’s happened in the last day, what is it?”
Luis wanted to rebuff the question, but with Julien still so close, the lingering sense of his hands on Luis, his tongue felt looser. “I tested yesterday and my red blood count came back too high.”
“You need to be bitten,” Julien said.
Luis didn’t quite gasp, but he felt his lungs stutter.
Julien nodded, stepping away to retake his seat. “Right. So why don’t you help Karim with dinner, and afterward we’ll bite you.”
He wasn’t asking Luis if he wanted to be bitten, he was stating what would happen.
And what a relief that was.
On the other side of the island, Karim retrieved an apron and offered it to Luis.
“How’s your ability to dice vegetables?” Karim asked.
Luis unfroze, hurrying around the island to take the apron. “Good, fine. I can do that,” he said.
“Good,” Karim said, and handed Luis a knife. “Start with the carrots.”