32. Aisling
THIRTY-TWO
Aisling
PRESENT
“You want to stay at your place or mine tonight?” Finn asks as we stroll hand in hand into our apartment building. It’s Sunday night, and we’ve just come back from our weekend in Clare with my family.
My family . I have a family.
I still can’t get over saying that.
They sent us on our way with a car full of leftovers and desserts, making us promise we’d come back to visit soon. Lonnie had already asked if we’d join them for Christmas. Thankfully, Finn wasn’t around at the time because I had no idea how to respond. Oh, actually, can I get back to you on that? Finn and I need to firm up our relationship status. Okay, thanks.
Ugh.
“I’d ask which has the most food in the fridge, but seeing as Lonnie stocked us up with enough food to last through winter, I’d say it doesn’t matter.”
Finn’s laughter echoes through the lobby as we head to the elevator. I wave to the night shift attendant, but he’s busy on a call, so my gesture goes unnoticed. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts, right? “She does know how to feed a crowd, that’s for sure. Oh—I almost forgot. I need to check the mail. Do you want to head up without me?”
“Sure.” Being the gentleman he is, he offers to carry the suitcase, leaving me with Lonnie’s leftovers.
“You’ll check mine while you’re there, right?”
“I guess I could.” He’s teasing. I don’t even remember the last time I checked my own damn mail. “If properly rewarded, that is.”
“Rewarded, huh?” I press the elevator button and lean in to give him a light kiss before he leaves. “Well, let’s see. Is that pint of ice cream I bought still in your freezer?”
“I think so. Why?”
“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” I say as the doors open. He stands there while I step onto the elevator, and the doors close behind me.
Less than ten seconds later, I got a text.
Finn
Do you know how difficult it is to walk with a hard-on?
Me
No, actually. Do tell.
Finn
No, I’ve got a better idea. Get naked. It’s time for dessert.
I’m so distracted texting him back while simultaneously thinking about him licking ice cream off my naked body that I don’t even bother looking up from my phone when I step off the elevator.
If I did, I probably would have noticed the man at my door.
“Ash?”
My head jerks up at the sound of my name. Standing in front of Finn’s flat, I can see Theo as clear as day, sitting on the floor with his back against my door. He has a small duffel bag by his side, and he looks rough. His clothes are rumpled, and his dark hair is a disheveled mess.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you,” he replies as if it’s obvious. As if showing up unannounced at my door is perfectly normal.
Which begs the question?—
“How did you get in?” I’m still standing in front of Finn’s door. My purse is slung over my shoulder, and the bag of leftovers awkwardly hangs at my side. I feel…frozen. Unfortunately, Theo doesn’t seem to share the same affliction; he springs to his feet and closes the distance between us in a few short strides.
“The doorman let me in, Ash,” he answers, a hint of annoyance in his tone. “I’m on your approved guest list.”
Shit. I forgot about that. But then again, I didn’t expect my ex-fiancé to suddenly drop by when he lives in an entirely different country.
I take a step back and nearly trip. The bag in my hand clatters to the floor.
I’ve never been scared of Theo. Looking back, I can see how he may not have treated me like I deserved, and of course, there was the cheating, but I never felt unsafe in his presence.
Until now.
There is a sort of wild desperation in his eyes that I’ve never seen.
It scares me.
I take another step back. This time, I don’t trip, but my back hits the door. I feel trapped.
“You haven’t been returning my phone calls.”
“That’s not true,” I say gently, trying to search his expression for a clue. This isn’t him. Sure, he’s tried to get me back before, but he eventually lost interest. “We’ve been in touch.”
He scoffs. “In touch? You were supposed to come visit me, Ash. I needed you there, and you bailed on me.”
There’s a desperation in his tone that I don’t quite understand. “I told you I was sorry about that. I’ve been busy?—”
“Yeah, you don’t need to elaborate. I’ve seen your posts. I know what you’ve been up to.”
I fold my arms across my chest. The implication in his tone is clear. “I’m sorry if—” I cut myself off before I can finish. “No, you know what? I’m not going to apologize. It’s been two years. We’ve both moved on?—”
“I haven’t moved on!” he roars, slamming his hands on either side of my head. His body cages mine, and I feel my heart begin to gallop in my chest.
“Theo,” I say gently. “Please step back.”
“No,” he says tightly. “We’re going to talk about this. I need you to understand. I’ve changed.”
Oh, he’s changed all right. And not in a good way.
“I want to start over, you and me. This time, it will be different. I’ll be different.”
“Theo, you’re not listening to me.” I feel like I’m poking the bear by trying to argue with him, but I can’t help it; he’s talking utter nonsense.
“No, you’re not listening to me. I’m all in this time, Ash. I mean it. I want to marry you.”
“What?” I let out a nervous laugh. “Are you serious? I don’t want to marry you. Not anymore. I love Finn.”
His expression turns icy. “You’d pick a washed-up rugby player over me? Over us? We have a history.”
“No, we are history. We’re over.”
He slams his palm angrily against the wall, just inches from my face. I jump. My heart pounds, and tears sting my eyes. He’s never hurt me. He would never hurt me.
“I need you to back up,” Finn says, his voice sounding menacing as he steps into the hallway. I didn’t even hear the elevator ding.
I can’t tell if Theo did because he barely reacts, hardly giving him a second glance. “This doesn’t involve you.”
Finn’s eyes dart to mine, his expression grave as he looks me over from head to toe. I can see the inner conflict in his gaze—panic and rage all tangled together. He shifts his attention back to Theo. “Since you seem to be harassing my girlfriend in front of my flat in a building I own, I’d say it definitely involves me. Now, step. The fuck. Back.”
His voice is so chilling; the threat of violence is impossible to ignore, and yet, unlike Theo, I don’t fear him.
Theo wisely does as he asks and takes a healthy step back. The second he does, I dart away from him toward Finn. As his arms wrap around me, I hear him exhale in relief while I bury myself in his chest.
I never thought I’d be running away in fear from my ex.
So many things are wrong about this scenario. So many things that don’t add up.
“I’ll give you five minutes to vacate the premises before I call the gardai.”
“I’m not leaving until?—”
“No.” Finn’s voice echoes through the hallway. “You’re done. After the shit you pulled, you’re lucky I don’t call Arsenal myself.” Theo’s expression turned panicked. “Yeah, I’ll know all about the shit you’ve been doing.”
His eyes widen and then blaze with anger. I glance at Theo and then at Finn. “What are you talking about? Theo, what is he talking about?”
The two men stare at each other, resembling a silent staring competition. Finally, Finn looks down at me, indecision reflected in his eyes. “Please, just tell me.”
He turns back to Theo, his expression hardening. “Ever since he showed up that weekend to visit, I’ve felt something wasn’t right. He was just too persistent in his pursuit to win you back. When he started harassing you after you canceled your trip to London, I asked Rian to look into him.”
“Who the fuck is Rian?”
“My best friend,” he replies. “He has the uncanny ability to find out just about anything about anyone. Even the things people try to keep hidden. Want to know what he found out about you? It wasn’t that hard, actually.”
“What did you do, Theo?” I ask, clearly seeing from his expression that he did something. I just don’t understand how it involves me.
“Seems Theo had a bit of a fling with one of his teammate’s wives.”
“Oh, Theo.” You stupid, stupid man.
“Oh, that’s not the worst part. No, the worst part is?—”
“You know what?” Theo throws his hands in the air, stalking toward the elevator. “I don’t need to listen to this shit.”
“No.” My voice stops him in his tracks. “You’re going to tell me the rest. I deserve to know why I was just ambushed and scared to death.”
He stares at me until, finally, he lets out a frustrated breath. His shoulders slump as he runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Ash. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just—” He glances away briefly. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I was desperate, okay?”
For a moment, I see a sliver of the man I used to know. “I’m still a rookie, and even though I’m good, there’s a hierarchy, you know? The guy, my teammate—” He swallows, clearly still unable to admit guilt. “He’s a starter, and he made it crystal clear he didn’t want me on the team anymore.”
“I’m still not following.”
“Madrid did a decent job of keeping everything under wraps, but Arsenal still caught wind of it. There I was, sitting in a room with my agent and the management team from Arsenal, and rather than focusing on what I could bring to the team, they were asking about my moral character, and it just came out?—”
“What came out?”
“That he was engaged,” Finn says in a flat tone. “To you.”
“What?” I bolt upright out of Finn’s embrace, and he practically has to restrain me to keep me from slapping Theo. “You told them we were engaged?”
“Everyone still remembers me as the romantic proposal guy.” He shrugs. “People love that version of me. So, I told them we’d recently reconciled but were keeping it quiet because you were so scared of media attention.”
“Oh my god. So, this whole time, you’ve been telling people we’re together? What exactly was your plan, Casanova?”
“I figured I’d win you back, and it would all work itself out in the end.”
“Jesus,” Finn mutters. “Has his ego always been this big?”
“You shut the fuck up.” Theo points a finger at Finn. “This would have all worked out if it weren’t for you getting in the way.”
“Right, that was the chink in the armor,” Finn snorts. “Can I punch him now?”
I think he’s kidding, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t. I also wouldn’t fault him if he did—punch the guy, that is.
“Theo—” I turn to my ex—“I think it’s time for you to go.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I raise my hand and stop him. “No, seriously. I can see you’re in a jam. Not being able to woo the fake fiancé is essential to the fake-dating trope, but you forgot one key element—consent. I never agreed to any of this.”
“I would have told you,” he argues. “Eventually.”
“You sought me out, Theo. Pretended to be my friend and lied to me. How could you do that? After everything we’ve been through.” I shake my head in disbelief. “I think Finn was right. I think it’s time for you to go.”
“Ash, please—they’re going to find out. It’s been months, and I keep making excuses why you haven’t come to visit, but I think they know I’m lying.”
“Yeah.” I nod. I’m sure he could try to play it off and say he was dumped, but he’s probably already thought of that, and if that were an option, he wouldn’t be here, begging me to help him out. “And you’ll have to face that.”
“I could lose my job,” he chokes out.
I feel it—the guilt churning in the pit of my stomach from standing by his side for six years and knowing how much this career means to him. But it’s no longer my problem.
“You’ll figure it out.”
He finally steps onto the elevator, and as the doors close, I take my first deep breath in what feels like forever.
Finn pulls me into his arms, his face burrowing into my neck as he inhales. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I say softly. “I am.”
I mean it, too. Watching him walk away feels liberating. I always thought I had the closure I needed with Theo when I walked away from our wedding. But this feels like the ink is finally drying on the last chapter of our story.
He is finally where he belongs—in my past.
“You were right, Finn.”
“About what?”
“Rugby players are significantly better than soccer players.”
And that earns me a laugh.