10. Chapter 9 – Lex
Chapter 9 – Lex
I chewed on my inner cheek until there was a hole while I worked.
She didn’t show.
I thought she would, even though I told her not to. Hell, I guess a part of me had hoped she would. But she didn’t. I worked through three clients, anxiously keeping my ears turned toward the front door in case I heard her airy, sweet voice at the reception desk.
But she didn’t show.
Like I said, I told her not to, but fuck if it didn’t mess with my head. Her boyfriend was exactly the type of man I’d imagine for her. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, giving off those dominant and protective vibes with just the look in his eye.
Then there was the look he aimed my way when he found us together at dinner.
He was onto me, even if she didn’t have a clue. His territorial instincts flared as she introduced us like everything was normal and platonic between us, because to her they were. But not to me, not anymore.
Not since that dream.
And he knew it, with just one look at us. He said nothing about it, but he didn’t have to. I read him loud and clear.
She was his.
Theirs.
Straight.
Got it. So I respectfully bowed out and left her life .
So why did it fucking suck so badly? She was just someone I met a few days ago in a professional setting.
But she was also someone I spent hours upon hours with, talking about everything under the sun. Someone who asked me things about the bits and pieces of my life that mixed to make — me.
She didn’t ask about my makeup. Or my style. She didn’t ask about the tattoos or the piercings on my face.
She asked about my dad.
She asked about my childhood.
She asked about the reason behind my passion for my job.
She asked about the clients that touched my life every single day.
She took part in a special project for K-9 Arlo.
She cared, even if it was just for a work assignment.
I wasn’t used to that kind of interest in me. The real me. And I believed that was why I was so fixated on the entire thing.
Dallin interrupted my thoughts, “Why did you cancel on Hannah?” I made sure my mask of indifference was in place as I turned to look at my boss, standing tall and wide in my doorway like some dark monster.
“She had everything she needed for the piece.” I picked up the last of my things that I was gathering to go home for the night before he cornered me.
“She doesn’t.” Dallin squinted at me as he crossed his arms over his enormous chest. “She has a photo shoot scheduled here next week.” He tilted his head toward me. “For pictures of you in this space.”
I cringed, forgetting she wanted to do pictures here at the shop. “She can take pictures of the shop,” I sighed, “I don’t need to be in them.”
He watched me closely, like he was trying to read my mind. And I felt sweat form on the back of my neck as he stared. Out of everyone I knew, if someone could read minds, it was Dallin Kent .
The man knew everything. Just like Parker said, he was always five steps ahead.
“I trusted you to take care of this.” He finally said, “Through to the finish. I’ve never known you to throw in the towel on a project before.”
“I didn’t.” I pulled my bag over my shoulder. “She got the information for the piece, D. I gave her what she needed.”
“She needed you.” He snapped.
My brows pinched over my eyes. “What does that mean?”
He just stared at me, and I suddenly felt like that fourteen-year-old girl back in my dad’s house when he busted me with some shitty homemade ink job on my leg. Dallin’s disappointment in me made little sense, as I couldn’t fathom why it mattered to him.
“Never mind.” He sighed, backing up out of the doorway. “You have a flat tire on your car. I already called for a tow. They should be here soon.”
“Seriously? Again?” I groaned, suddenly remembering what the grumpy neanderthal from the side of the road the other day said about getting the spare changed right away. What was that, two days ago now? Three? Damnit. “Thanks.” I whispered, watching him walk away as guilt threatened to push me down into the dirt. I walked out of the shop, ignoring everyone else as my thoughts of the perfect little girl next door overwhelmed me on my way to the parking lot.
It was as if my thoughts conjured the real thing, though, leaving me wondering if what I was seeing was an illusion.
“Hannah.” I slowed my pace as she stood up off the bumper of her car parked in front of mine. She wore a pair of cut-off shorts and an oversized band tee she had knotted over her belly button, and I felt overwhelmed with the desire to see what she looked like wearing just that shirt and nothing else. Did she wear Knox’s shirts at home like that? With nothing else on underneath of it?
Why the fuck was I imaging her wearing his clothes in their home?
“Hey.” She put her hands in back pockets and tilted her head slightly. “I didn’t want to come in and disturb you at work.”
“So you lurked in the parking lot?” I questioned, glancing around. “How long have you been waiting?”
She shrugged, and a blush crept up her cheeks. “A few hours. I didn’t know what time you were done for the day. ”
“Hannah.” I sighed, hating that she sat out here that long because she was afraid to come inside.
“I just wanted to let you know the article will publish in two weeks.” She licked her lips, drawing my attention there like I hadn’t wondered what they tasted like all on my own. “I’m coming back with a photography team next week and doing a shoot of the space and then it will all get formatted.”
“You wrote it already?” I opened the back door of my car and set my bags inside. “How bad did you make me look in it for ditching you?”
She chuckled and kicked a stone on the ground. “Maybe only slightly villainous.”
“Fair, I do have a reputation to uphold.” I sighed and shut the car door, before leaning against the hood and facing her head on. All day long I ached to see her again, and now that she was here, I didn’t want her to leave. I didn’t want this conversation to end. “I’m sorry, it was wrong of me to cut things short like I did.”
“Can I ask why you did it?” She questioned, blushing further as the setting sun matched her skin tone. “I know I can be a lot and over the top sometimes. You had every right to decide when you were done, I just—” She pursed her lips, “I thought it was going well.”
“Do you want the truth?” I asked, holding her stare.
“Yes.”
“I took my cues from Knox.” I admitted, and her eyes widened. “He made it clear that he wasn’t comfortable, so I left.”
She groaned and rubbed her hand over her face. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what got into him, I’ve never seen him act so—” She stopped.
“Possessive.” I guessed for her.
“Yeah,” She deflated a little, “Brody, sure. But not Knox. He’s the levelheaded one—” She rambled and then stopped. “It was my fault, and I’m sorry for that.”
“It’s not your fault.” I shook my head, stopping her from going any further with that blame. “He was right to read the situation the way he did. And he was also within his right to put a stop to it.” Her lips parted as she listened to me. “Within his right as your partner, not to let someone else sneak in unnoticed. He was right to claim his territory.” There, I told her I was interested. Not that it made a lick of difference to a straight girl in a relationship with two men.
“Lex,” she whispered, locking her bright eyes onto mine. “I think I’m bisexual.”
The air sucked itself right out of my lungs as my body hummed in response to mere words. Words that changed so much. Yet also, nothing at all. Even if she was into women, she was in a committed relationship with men.
And I was a lesbian.
None of that even began to pair well.
“Say something.” She took a step closer to me and I hated the fear and hope that were mixed in those sexy bedroom green eyes of hers.
“What do you want me to say?” I fought with my own emotions as a stupid thing that felt a lot like hope bloomed in my gut.
“I don’t know.” She blinked, like she was breaking out of the spell weaved between us. “I guess I thought maybe you’d have some wise piece of advice to give me.”
I could see her defeat through the slump of her shoulders and the tiredness in her eyes.
“Don’t break what’s already perfect for the idea of something better.” I stated, not having a clue where the words came from. She scowled at me, not liking the advice I gave her, but she needed to hear it. “Don’t ruin your happy home, Hannah. Because the grass is rarely ever greener on the other side.”
“What if I’m not trying to choose sides?” She challenged and stood up taller. God, she was sexy as hell when she got feisty. “Isn’t that the point of being bi and polyamorous? Not choosing one or the other. The guys want me to explore.”
Arousal ignited inside of me.
Was there hope of tasting her lips on mine after all? No. It couldn’t be. Knox had made it clear last night that he didn’t want to share, yet Hannah was standing here telling me they wanted her to experiment.
“So what?” I walked forward until we were face to face, the same height since I wore sneakers to work. “Your boyfriends are going to loan you out for a night, so you know whether you’re into women? And you want me to be your first?”
Her throat tensed as she swallowed in trepidation at my crudeness, “I don’t know. But they’re not opposed to the idea.”
“They’re also not simps.” I challenged, “They’re going to be in control of the entire situation if or when it happens, Hannah. And I’m not one to take orders from someone else.” Why was I fighting it? I was always down for a strings free hook up, and it sounded like just that. She had her relationship to fulfill her emotional needs and was offering me exactly what I was into. Sex.
Could she do strings free?
Could I do it with her?
Being this close to her, I could smell her floral perfume just like the other day when she stood over my shoulder while I worked. Everything inside of me wanted to kiss the sensitive skin under her ear that day to see if it smelled as sweet there in her neck.
But today, I wanted to spread her thighs and see if she tasted that sweet too. I was on edge, barely holding onto restraint.
“Then just say you aren’t interested.” She tilted her head back and swallowed, “It’s as simple as that.” She took a step back, and I barely stopped myself from grabbing her by the front of the shirt to keep her near. “I’ll just find someone that is.”
Fuck it.
I didn’t stop myself. I grabbed that shirt I fixated on when I first walked up and pulled her to me, roughly until her chest bounced into mine. She gasped and panted as I stared directly into her eyes. She was so close I could kiss her. Just a few inches of lean would give me what I wanted most.
“I didn’t take you for a brat.” I leered, dropping my gaze to her lips. She took the bait and licked them, “You want a kiss to find out if you’ll like it, like it’s any question at all.” I looked back up at her eyes. “We both know you’d like it, simply because it’s me.”
“Prove it.” She whispered, and I smirked at her boldness. Sometimes she surprised me with her assertiveness and other times I craved it .
I grinned down at her and licked my own lips as her eyelids fluttered closed as I leaned in.
“Someone call for a tow?” A deep voice interrupted us, calling out from a few spots over.
I curled my lip in frustration as Hannah gasped and pulled back, stumbling over her feet to put space between us. And I let her go, because when I whipped my head toward the voice responsible for interrupting us, agitation like no other filled my entire body.
“You!” I hissed, cocking my head to the side, taking in the tall, cocky, asshole biker from a few days ago as he leaned against the hood of his tow truck. “You have to be kidding.” He had a white tee shirt on that hugged his torso with dark smears of grease across his stomach and a pair of worn light blue jeans, and even as annoyed as I was, my eyes lingered on him for too fucking long.
“She’s the tattoo artist?” He sneered, just as annoyed as I was, but he wasn’t aiming it my way. He focused his attention on Hannah, and she twisted her head back and forth between us.
“You know him?” I snapped at her.
Her mouth opened and then closed as her brows furrowed. “I’m so confused.”
He scoffed and shook his head. “Didn’t look that way from here, Han,” he said, giving her a disappointed glare. “Looked like you were about to cross a line.”
Her shoulders deflated as she looked over at me cautiously. And then it clicked.
“Brody.” I felt sick to my stomach as what I thought was finally within reach slipped through my fingers at the last second. “You have to be fucking kidding me.”
Of course, her other boyfriend was the jackass that changed my tire the other day, expecting me to fawn over him for his manliness in helping me. Even though I never asked for the help.
“How do you two know each other?” Hannah asked, looking back and forth still .
“It doesn’t matter.” I ran my hand through my hair and sighed, already feeling the resolve inside of me turning to concrete. “I can’t do this.”
“Wait.” Hannah reached for me fleetingly as I evaded her touch. Moments before, I was ready to take her right there on the hood of my car, but now I couldn’t stand the thought of doing anything with that man’s girlfriend.
Unless it was out of spite just to show him, I could do it better than he could.
“She’s right, wait.” Brody, the neanderthal, sighed and glared at me before turning to Hannah and it was odd watching from the outside, but he softened his gruff demeanor for her. “This is what you want?” He nodded to me. “Her?”
Hannah peeked back at me, “Well, we were just getting to that part.”
“I’m not a zoo animal.” I snapped, shaking it off. “I’m not going to perform so your guys can watch and get off on two girls together.”
“We wouldn’t treat Hannah that way.” He bit back, “You have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Maybe so,” I shrugged, taking one last fleeting glance at Hannah, as regret washed over me with each step away that I took. “But I’m not going to stick around to find out, either.”
“What about your car?” He called out as I grabbed my purse from the back seat and headed back toward the shop.
“I’ll call someone else for a tow. Someone that doesn’t have to loan his girlfriend out to make her come!” I yelled over my shoulder and then flipped him the bird as I walked across the parking lot.
God, what I wouldn’t give to be wearing a pair of red bottoms so they could both drool as I cat walked away.
Was I twisted in the head and placing blame on Hannah’s shoulders when it wasn’t her fault?
Yes.
Was I healed enough in my mental health journey to be better than that.
Nope.
She picked the biggest douche canoe in the world to be in love with, really.
It was dark in the shop, everyone had gone home hours ago, yet I still sat in my suite, pouting like a teenager. I pretended to be busy with sketches, which I was, but I also didn’t need to pull an all-nighter to get anything done either.
No, in reality, I was just sulking.
And stewing because the prick-ass bastard actually towed my car with my fucking lunch bag in it, and it had all of my snacks. So that led me to be hangry and salty as the hours ticked on, leaving me wondering what to do.
I could have called an Uber and gotten home, or at the very least, ordered dinner to be delivered, but I was punishing myself by making myself as miserable as possible.
“Hey, Barbie.” I looked up for the first time in hours and found Trey leaning against my door. “I thought everyone had gone home by now.”
I nodded to him, not even remotely interested in sparring verbally with him like usual. “Everyone else has.”
He tilted his head to the side in that eerie Trey mannerism that always gave me goosebumps. I had no clue how Reyna gave him the time of day in the beginning, with his abrasive weirdo tendencies and her sweet, good-girl nature.
“So Hannah, huh?” He asked, and I felt myself gaining the energy to tell him to fuck off, barely restraining. So instead, I ignored him. Which I knew Trey hated more than anything.
I looked back down at my tablet and tried to focus on the design for a client next week, like he wasn’t hovering.
After all of two seconds, he sighed dramatically and came in, throwing himself down in the chair for my client’s guests, and went on. “Okay fine.” He held his hands up, “I’ll be nice.”
“Why?” I questioned, not trusting him for a second. I didn’t hate Trey, quite the opposite, really. He reminded me a lot of myself, which was why we butted heads so often. We knew the other could take all the blows and keep coming back for more without actually being offended. But I just didn’t have the fight in me at the moment.
“Because Reyna told me she wouldn’t let me into bed tonight if I came down here and razzed you.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “You’re so whipped.”
“One hundred percent.” He nodded his head like a bobblehead doll. “I’m prize motivated, and my prize is sex. All day, every day.”
“And all three of them know it, don’t they?”
“It’s cruel, really.” He sighed, leaning back in the chair and looking around. “You ever feel like designing interiors?”
I scoffed, “Huh?”
“The vibe,” he waved his hand around my room and shrugged, “It’s pretty cool.”
“Thank you?” I questioned, “What alternate universe did I land in?”
“Meh,” He looked back to me, “One where it looked like Hannah and Brody beat you down enough earlier, so I’m trying to be a nice person to you.” He shuddered, “I won’t lie, it makes me feel icky.”
“Then stop.” I deadpanned, “For the love of god, just stop.” I held my hand up as he opened his mouth, cutting him off, “And I’m not going to talk about it. Not with you.”
“I told Rey that Parker should be the one to come down and check on you.” He sighed, “But he’s off with Dallin at the gym and Rey could only stay out of it for so long.” He held his hands up, “So here I am.”
“I don’t need someone to intervene. Or check on me.”
“So what happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.” He fired back. “I saw you nearly throw that sweet girl down on the hood of your car before her big oaf showed up and interrupted. I won’t lie, I was pretty bummed that he broke up the show.”
I rolled my eyes so far; I saw my brain.
“Oh, come on,” He droned, “I’m a happily married man, but I can spot sexual tension a mile away. And that little show—” He wagged his finger back and forth, “Screamed hot lesbian sexual tension.”
“She’s straight,” I said, regretting it a second after it left my mouth. Because I did not want to talk about it at all, especially with him.
“Is that the problem?”
“That, and the fact that she’s in a long-term relationship.” I shuddered, “I can’t stand messy relationship drama.”
“That’s not a denial of being interested.” He raised his brows suggestively, and I groaned at how he caught me. “Sounds like you want her.”
“I want to ruin her,” I replied, setting my tablet down on the side table next to me and then leaning forward with my elbows on my knees. “Given how similar you and I are, I’m confident that you know precisely what I mean by that statement. I don’t want to hold her hand and coax her through her first girl-on-girl moment while Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb watch to get their jollies off.” Sitting back in my chair and running the back of my fingers over my lip, “I want to ruin her for them and then walk away without a backward glance simply because I shouldn’t.”
“But you won’t.” He challenged, his voice a deep timber I only heard when he was in the dark place that he hid in sometimes. “You won’t hurt her. She’s too pure. And you’re not as big of a monster as you want everyone to think you are. It’s the same reason I couldn’t hurt Rey with anything more than words when she was mortal enemy number one for stealing Dallin all those years ago. I could have seduced her, tricked her into choosing me over D and Parker. Then I would have destroyed her and left her with pieces of who she used to be, alone and broken, to serve as some sort of moral retribution for my pain.” He stood up and towered over me, so I had to look up at him in the dim light. “But I didn’t. The same way you won’t. Because she didn’t hurt you to begin with. Someone else did.”
“I want to though, and that’s reason enough to steer the fuck clear.”
“Then stop pouting about it.” He scorned, sliding back into the usual Trey role I recognized. The one I longed for after nice Trey ripped open my insecurities and laughed at them. “Grow the fuck up. Go out and find some willing pussy to lose yourself in for a few days and forget about her.”
“Fuck you.” It was a brittle comeback, but I had nothing else.
“Yeah,” he grinned sadistically, “See, that right there,” he pointed to my weakness, “Is exactly why I don’t believe that you don’t want the good you could gain from letting her in.”
“She has nothing to gain from letting me in,” I replied, admitting the truth to someone who could easily turn it around and use it against me.
“A bleeding heart.” He tsked and walked toward the door with his hands in his pockets. “I always knew you were a softy deep inside all of that ALT Barbie exterior.”
“Don’t tell anyone.” I mused, giving up on even trying to refute it.
He winked and then tossed me something that I caught a half a second before it hit me in the nose.
My keys.
“Knox dropped your car off an hour ago. But I figured you needed a little longer to stew on all your girly feelings before you were fixed.”
“Gee, thanks.” I rolled my eyes, spinning the keys around my finger.
“Night, Barbie.”
“Night, Ogre.”