Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Giovanna
‘ Y ou’ll stay with her?’ I questioned Pia as she opened the door of my parents’ suite.
‘Of course. I’m sure she’ll be fine now the doctor has administered a sedative.’
‘I hope so.’ I said the words with what I hoped was some conviction behind them, but truthfully, I wasn’t sure I cared. I’d seen my mama feign so many illnesses to get her own way in my lifetime that I felt she’d cried wolf one too many times. I understood my parents were disappointed, hurt even, but I understood that my nonno was dying and that was the most important factor here. Not either of their different, but still very childish, outbursts.
I released a small sigh.
One dealt with.
And just where the hell were my brothers when I needed them here? I could only hope they were out searching for our papa and would bring him home soon.
Family is everything. I heard my nonno inside my head, saying one of the things I must have heard him say a million times over.
I gave a smile of thanks to Pia as she ducked back inside, and turned to face the men waiting for me. Lorenzo and Paulo, my bodyguards, were standing either side of the doorway, just as I knew they would be. Because, of course, they would have followed Dante’s car with or without instruction from my eldest brother.
Like they followed me everywhere.
The air seemed to crackle around us with pent up testosterone, and I turned my head from one side to the other as they took it in turns to glare at Dante, who was leaning on the opposite wall with his arms crossed over the top of the pale blue shirt I’d gripped so tightly on to as we’d left the villa with my mama.
Dante.
‘Dante.’
His gaze lifted from the floor to find mine and despite the fact I had never felt so emotionally overwrought, a spark of happiness ignited inside of me.
‘You stayed.’ The words left me as a statement of fact.
‘Of course.’ He pushed himself off the wall and took a step towards me at the same time. ‘I needed to know that you and your mama were okay.’
‘We told him to go, and that he would have been contacted later,’ Paulo countered.
‘And you don’t want to know what I said to that… other than that Don De Luca had given me his express permission to help you with your mama, and I wasn’t leaving until I knew you were both okay.’
‘Has my papa returned home?’ I questioned the three of them, but it was Dante who answered.
‘No, not yet.’ He shook his head but never broke eye contact with me, offering me the quiet strength he felt I needed.
‘Oh.’
‘Your grandfather has, and he’s asked to see you just as soon as you were able.’
My legs began to tremble and instinctively I reached out to find something stable to cling on to. Dante reached me first and clutched both of my forearms to help steady me.
‘Come here.’ He pulled me closer to him and enveloped me in a fragrance that reminded me of sandalwood with top notes of mint. I recognised it as an expensive cologne I’d admired before. Even though I couldn’t remember the name of it, I knew it was one I would always associate with him. He guided me to the small, cream velvet love seat that had been outside my mama’s rooms for as long as I could remember. Feeling behind me for the edge, I gratefully sat down and Dante sat down beside me.
‘Better?’ he questioned.
‘Better,’ I agreed, sighing out loud as I swept my tongue over my suddenly dry lips. Not knowing if they were dry due to my emotional state or the closeness of the solid man next to me.
‘Get her some water,’ he demanded, not looking up at the two men now standing barely two feet away from where we sat.
‘I can’t believe that my whole life has been turned upside down in the space of a few hours.’ I took the offered water from Paulo and sipped at the cool liquid, not wanting to gulp in case I gave the rising sick in my oesophagus an excuse to force itself free. At the thought of being ill, which was something that had terrified me since childhood, my hands felt clammy. I rubbed the free one down over the skirt of my linen dress and watched the fabric crease in the dampness. Repeatedly, I rubbed against the material, until Dante placed his hand over mine trying to stop my hand’s relentless path. Lorenzo took a step forward and I lifted my head to glare at him, effectively stopping his progress.
‘It’s a feeling I know only too well.’ I turned my head to look at Dante and for the first time I saw pain behind the normally bright blue, playful eyes. One slow blink and it was gone, leaving me wondering if I’d imagined it.
‘You do?’ I questioned hopefully, desperate to think about something else other than the fact my family had dramatically fallen apart.
‘Hmmm,’ he replied. His tongue played with his two front teeth, and he appeared momentarily lost in thought.
‘I’m not sure I know how to do all of this.’ My ridiculously sheltered upbringing was shouting inside my head that I hadn’t the skills to deal with this sort of emotional fallout.
‘You can, and you will, because you must. I know how much pain one person can deal with. Look at Serafina. Our elder brother was killed, and our papa had a massive heart attack, which has damaged so much of his heart he now uses a wheelchair. Instead of going to university like she dreamt of, she married your brother at sixteen and lost their first child.’ He seemed to force himself to stop talking, leaving him with a tautness to his jaw and a flare to his nostrils.
‘I admire her so much. At least her marriage is a happy one.’ I smiled as I thought of them both.
‘At least,’ he offered, somewhat quizzically.
‘I mean, here I am at twenty and alone.’
‘Twenty is no age at all.’ He shook his head at me, making me feel unexpectedly like a silly teenager.
‘It might not be in England,’ I retorted. ‘But here, most of our marriages are arranged way before then.’
‘Touché,’ he countered, suddenly looking angry. Then he nodded, seemingly understanding where I was going.
‘Is your marriage already arranged?’ he asked.
I knew I didn’t know Dante well, if at all really, but I understood then that I felt him practically bristle with anger. His posture stiffened and the hand that had been gently caressing mine froze in place and then began to tighten over mine.
‘No.’ I all but whispered the single word as I turned to face him.
‘Good.’ He nodded, with a ghost of a smile pulling at the corners of those full lips I wanted to feel on me once again.
‘I’m not sure it’s good.’ His left eyebrow raised at me in question, and I carried on with my reasoning. ‘I think it must be incredible to have someone to rely on, not only for your own happiness, but also knowing that you could be the catalyst of theirs, too.’ I felt a flush of embarrassment as Dante gently caressed my hand again, and I attempted to rein in my tongue. ‘But apparently, I’m not good ‘Ndrangheta marriage material.’ I shrugged trying to appear more indifferent than I felt. ‘Maybe it’s my awkwardness or the fact I want more from my life than just marriage and babies.’
‘You’re not awkward, you just need the right person to be by your side.’ He cleared his throat suddenly as if he’d said too much. ‘Maybe the truth is you don’t want to marry because of the constraints?’ he questioned.
‘I do. But I’ll need someone who understands me,’ I answered.
Trying to appear nonchalant at his questioning, I watched as Lorenzo touched his ear to listen to something. When he walked a few steps away, leaving only Paulo up close and personal, I motioned with my head that he should step further back.
‘Go on,’ he encouraged.
‘I think it must be wonderful to have someone who shares not only your dreams and passions, but also your fears, worries and concerns.’ I let the words tumble hurriedly from my lips before I thought too much about the insight I was giving him.
‘It must,’ he agreed, before clearing his throat again, removing his hand from mine and unexpectedly standing.
I clutched my water tighter and watched as beads of condensation fell quickly down the heavy glass I was holding, as I tried to take the focus away from feeling bereft at his distance.
Rapidly, his large hand crossed the gap between us.
‘Come on, let’s take you to see your grandfather.’
I placed my glass to the floor and took hold of his offered hand once again, after grieving the loss of it for those few seconds. As our flesh connected, making my breath stutter, and his fingers tightened to enclose mine in a consolidatory grip, I stood to accept his help. Completely taken aback at the familiarity my body felt at our connection, I lifted my gaze to his. And there, in those few stolen seconds, Dante lifted his other hand and brushed across my cheekbone with the back of his fingers.
‘Giovanna, know this—you were made for me and me only. I want to be that someone for you.’ He spoke out confidently, setting off a chain reaction inside me of need and want. I appreciated then, that if he offered me more than just today’s hand of friendship, I would take it, with or without my family’s blessing.