Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Dante
‘ I ’m expecting a visitor,’ I imparted as I walked across the gangplank, loosening the tie I was wearing.
‘Yes, boss.’
‘A female. She’ll be on her own.’
‘Boss.’
Holding on to the rail next to me, I jumped down onto the deck. Instantly, I exhaled and stilled as my body relaxed. The boat I’d taken possession of seemed to give me peace, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed to me that it was the only place these days where I found any sense of quiet. Nearly seven years before, I’d been banished from my homeland. And during my time in the army, back in London, at my place of birth in Calabria, and now even here in Malta, I understood that none of them gave me the comfort a home was supposed to offer.
‘Good evening.’ Juan, the chef I kept for my own personal use, appeared in front of me. ‘I have prepared a cold supper as you instructed… meats, cheeses, bread, olives and tomatoes.’ I watched as he dried his hands on the towel he was holding and nodded just the once at him.
‘And the wine?’ I questioned.
‘A non-alcoholic one, as you requested.’
‘Thank you, is it good?’
‘For something with no alcohol, it’s passable.’ He waved one hand in the air, as if what I was asking him was sacrilege, and I couldn’t help the grin that began to pull at the corners of my mouth. I moved past him and into the saloon behind him.
‘You’ve done well.’ To the side of me I saw the spread he’d created. ‘That looks and smells amazing. Thank you.’
‘It would be even more magnificent outside. It’s a warm night, and the moon and stars are brilliant this evening.’
I didn’t reply, but glared at him, giving him my silent answer.
‘Of course, Mr Giordano. I’ll say goodnight.’ I watched as he backed out and then disappeared.
Immediately, I walked my way over to the walnut drinks’ cabinet, and pulling out a bottle of beer I discarded the top and drunk the liquid straight down. When I’d righted my head, I cast another look over my shoulder at the simple fare I’d requested. He was right, it was a lovely evening and if I was any normal man, I would share the meal he’d created with a beautiful woman on the deck of my boat. I’d pull her down and hold her tightly in my arms as I pointed up at the many constellations above us.
There was no doubt that Giovanna had matured into a beautiful woman. I’d seen and felt her beauty as I’d followed her through the streets of Malta, knowing I had to contact her, but at the same time not wanting to end something I’d dreamt about for what felt like an eternity. So, from a distance, I’d stalked her for as long as I thought was possible without being brought to the attention of her lax security. Following behind her, I’d watched her every movement and had instantly seen the very second she became aware I was somewhere nearby. She’d stopped walking and had slowly turned around, giving me the opportunity to take her in. Her tall, willowy gracefulness had remained, but with it came a new air of confidence that had my cock stirring. When I couldn’t stay away from her any longer, I crossed through the veil of tourists and joined the group. As I came up behind her, I could smell the perfume that had been imprinted on my soul. The light, floral scent that perfectly complimented her, and I’d been taken right back to the last place I’d smelt the scent rising on the heat from her skin. The church inside the Tower of London. St Peter ad Vincula, the place where we’d taken our vows before God, right before Salvatore had arrived.
Her beauty would never be in any doubt in my mind.
But I wasn’t what the English, nor most Italians, would call a normal guy. Being who I was, meant that someone, somewhere, would always have money on my head. Being moored at port came with its own risks. I knew, and now Salvatore was aware, that we were under attack, and sitting out on deck would leave me vulnerable to someone taking a pot shot at me from the concealment the darkness offered. While I wasn’t concerned about myself, I wasn’t going to risk her being killed.
Added to that, I discerned that my meeting with Giovanna had to be held in private. In that knowledge, I hadn’t even brought Marco with me this evening, he’d been sent instead back out to our casinos. So, I would conceal Giovanna and myself inside the saloon, and I would hold myself back. She would ask what she needed to know, as would I. Then somehow, after maybe getting some answers, we would hopefully be able to salvage what was left of our lives.
We would walk away, because our lives had gone in the different directions her brother had stipulated, and it was what we needed to do, whether it was what we wanted or not.
I dropped the tie I was still holding onto the chair next to me and after removing my jacket, I folded it and placed it down beside it. Then I reached to the back of the silver tray and picked up the bottle of Macallan Oscuro Scotch, the odd shaped bottle that I kept for when a few bottles of beer just didn’t cut it. Pouring myself two fingers into a cut glass tumbler, I turned the glass around in my fingers a few times and watched the amber liquid rise and fall on the glass, before downing it in one. The burn hit my oesophagus almost instantaneously and as it travelled downwards, I banished with it all my preconceived ideas of how our meeting was going to go.
I’d just placed the glass back on the tray and quietened my mind, when I heard her heels hit the gangplank outside. One of my men spoke to her and then suddenly, a few seconds later, I could feel her behind me.
‘Hello, love.’
‘Ciao, Dante.’ The hairs on my arms stood on end as she spoke my name.
‘Come on in, Giovanna,’ I commanded. ‘Take a seat.’
‘Where?’ I could hear the subtle tremor in her voice.
‘Anywhere.’ Without looking at her, I picked up a remote and operated the privacy glass that had been placed in all the windows of the saloon. Then I strode towards the door and, after closing it, I used the remote in my hand to lock it. In the confined space, I honed in on her breathing and listening to it I could hear her own struggle. With that spurring me on, I finally turned and found her eyes with my own. I took the few strides I needed to come up close to where she had chosen to sit. When I was directly in front of her, I bent my legs, lowered myself slowly and sat down on my haunches, before taking one of her hands in mine. If only to stop her hands fidgeting while resting on her bare legs.
Fuck!
What the hell is she wearing?
Whatever it was, it barely covered her arse and left her long, silky looking legs fully on display.
With my eyes focussed on hers, I let her know who was in charge of the meeting she’d asked for. I stroked my fingers over the back of her hand, watching as her lips parted in response, and committed the gasp she released to memory, as I stroked down towards the tips of her manicured fingernails. Then I stopped all movement and stared intently at her, watching as her pupils dilated at our minimal contact, before turning her hand over and placing my lips against her wrist.
‘Now what was it you wanted to ask?’ Her mouth opened at my question, but before she could answer it, I placed one finger to her lips and silenced her. ‘Ahh, no need.’ I shook my head slightly, ‘I remember… did I ever love you?’ I tapped my fingers on her leg as I spoke out the last five words, making sure she felt them as strongly as I did. ‘Does it make any difference if I did or not? We’ve been apart a long time.’
‘It makes a difference to me, Dante.’ I could hear she was telling the truth, but needed to make her squirm that bit longer.
I rocked my head slowly from side to side as I pretended to think. It was then I understood, that however much I wanted to be a complete bastard to her, I couldn’t. She hadn’t started what had happened between us, I had. And for that reason alone, I owed it to her to be as truthful as I could, hopefully without destroying what was left of my heart in the process.
‘I…’ She spoke against my finger, and the reverberations caused an electrical surge to travel straight up my arm and down to my cock. Slowly, I moved my finger away, and trailed it down her jawline, just as I had the day we’d first met as adults. Her breathing changed and I pulled the finger sharply away, unwilling to show any reaction to her. Then I leant in close and with her loose hair brushing against the side of my face, I told her the truth.
‘Yes, I did love you, Giovanna.’ I emphasised the one word I needed her to hear clearly. Moving slowly out of her personal space, I sat back on my haunches once again and took in the look of what could only be described as shock on her face, before standing and making my way over to the food Juan had prepared for us. ‘Is that all you came to find out?’
‘I’m not sure.’ I felt her truth deep in the heart I was so certain her leaving me in London had destroyed, and it made me uncomfortable. Knowing what needed doing, I broke the silence between us. ‘Come and eat.’
‘I’m not hungry.’
‘I didn’t ask if you were hungry—I told you to come and eat.’
‘Dante,’ she pleaded.
I turned back to face her after gaining some of my equilibrium back and placed an olive in my mouth. I made the olive burst in my mouth and swallowed it down.
‘Giovanna, you asked to see me. You wanted to ask me a question—I’ve answered it. Now, are you going to eat a civil meal with me, or is there more to why you’re here?’
‘I can’t eat!’ The words released on a sob.
‘Why?’
‘This is too much! How can you want to eat? There is so much between us unsaid—can’t you feel that?’ Emotion hung from her every word.
‘Forget about food,’ I declared, throwing a hand up into the air, knowing that our conversation was rapidly becoming too emotional to carry on, and there were things I needed to know for myself before she once again walked out of my life. Even the thought of that made me feel sick. ‘Tell me how come you managed to be in Malta? I know the level of security Salvatore would demand of your stepfather?’ I questioned, taking more of her in than was necessary for my mental health. Her beautiful hair had been left loose and was as long as I remembered, with its natural honey-coloured streaks. Her make-up was subtle, but it made her eyes stand out. I found myself focussed on her in the silence as I wondered, not for the first time, if her eyes were greener or was the light brown more dominant.
‘It’s a long story.’
‘I have all night,’ I voiced and instantly regretted it, because fuck—what I would do to have her spend the night here with me.
‘I have a music and a teaching degree.’ I heard her speak and extinguished the thoughts inside my head and raised my eyebrows at her news, not knowing where the fuck she was going with her answer.
‘Congratulations. Did you get to Bologna?’ I folded my arms over my chest, as I looked at her with interest.
‘I did.’ Over the past few years, any news of Giovanna had rarely reached my ears, probably on Salvatore’s instructions. I was pleased he had allowed her to live, when he could have married her off early or locked her away. ‘And I’ve just taken up a post for September to teach deaf students at St. Cecilia in Rome, on a voluntary basis… It was Luca…’ She looked questioningly at me to see if I knew about Luca, and I offered her a quick nod before she carried on. ‘With our nephew being partially deaf, but able to feel the vibrations my piano generates and enjoying it so much… Well, I wanted to bring that to others.’
‘Very noble.’ I hated myself the second I’d spoken, but the look she shot me made me feel worse, like the piece of shit I was certain I was becoming. ‘Carry on,’ I encouraged in a friendlier tone.
‘My mama lives in Rome too, and I knew she would get out with her husband before the summer heat arrived.’
I thought about what she’d just imparted.
‘Let me get this straight… you just happened to be here on a summer holiday with your mama, and Salvatore is okay with all of that?’
‘Not quite.’ I watched as she screwed up her beautiful face into a grimace. ‘I deliberately chose Rome to volunteer, to see if I could reconnect with her.’
‘And did you manage it?’
‘Not really. We’re so very different.’ She looked embarrassed at her answer.
‘Yeah?’ I wanted to add more to the question but suppressed it. Whatever had happened all those years ago between us didn’t make her a cold-hearted bitch like her mama.
‘Yes, and I also knew from pieces of information I’ve read over the past few years that Mama and Peter always sail in the summer. I’d heard that when you’d left the army, you’d headed up the family business somewhere in the Med. Salvatore knows I’m on holiday with them in the Mediterranean. That’s it.’
‘I never had you pegged as a master manipulator, Giovanna.’
‘When I finish my year at Rome, I’m to marry.’ I managed somehow not to react physically to what she said.
‘So Salvatore told me.’ I looked quickly at the horrible fucking ruby ring on her wedding finger, before looking away.
‘He did?’
I nodded in response.
‘But, before I can move forward with my life, I need to put the past behind me.’
‘And that’s me, is it? I’m the past you want to put behind you?’
‘It’s not like that.’ She spoke sadly and looked down to her lap where once again she was wringing her hands.
I pushed down the pain her words conjured up and compacted it against the pain she’d left me with when she’d last walked away.
What the hell had I been expecting?
‘You need to eat,’ I spoke roughly. ‘We can’t have you walking down the aisle to the awaiting wanker looking like a waif, can we?’ I pushed my hands down deep into my trouser pockets to stop myself from reaching out to her, and once again took in the beauty of the woman I was in the company of.
What the actual fuck is she wearing?
Whatever it was. It fitted her to perfection. The shimmering metal made all the skin she was exposing sparkle as she moved, and I struggled with the image inside my head of tasting each inch of skin I could see.
‘Stop it, Dante.’ She shook her head as she spoke.
‘What, stop what?’ I shrugged. ‘All I’m doing is saying it how it is.’
‘You have no idea how it is!’ All at once she was standing. I watched as for a few seconds she wobbled precariously on the heels she was wearing. The same ones I’d earlier imagined over my shoulders and wrapped around the back of my head, as I feasted on her warm, wet cunt.
‘Then tell me,’ I gently offered, as I attempted to calm her down and rein in the anger I could feel reaching boiling point in my gut.
‘All Calabrian women must marry. You know that.’
I nodded at her in answer as I crossed my arms over my chest once again and pushed my tongue against my front teeth in a bid to swallow down the hate filled answer I wanted to give. I wanted to hold back, to not engage in the conversation, even though it was the only way I would get the answers I also wanted. But like a fool, unable to stop myself, I engaged.
‘You married at twenty, Giovanna. You married me.’ And just like that, the box had been opened, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to close the lid on what was inside.
‘Did I really?’ I could see the uncertainty in her face. ‘All I know is that you got what you needed from me, Dante. I was kidnapped when you wanted vengeance. So, did we really marry, or was our marriage a game of pretend that you could use against my brother?’
‘Our marriage was real on my part… You were more than just revenge to me! You know that. I explained that to you.’
‘You did, I agree. But the trouble is, the more I look back to all those years ago, I have trouble trying to identify where the lies ended, and the truth started? Answer me that…’ I watched as Giovanna, looking unstable once again, reached out to hold the back of the chair nearest to her.
‘I have no fucking idea why we’re rehashing all of this crap.’ I exhaled loudly, shaking my head at her. ‘But if you really need to know… the lies ended, and the truth started when I took you to the bar at Sera’s home and looked into your eyes. Even if I didn’t want to recognise it.’
A pained filled laugh left her, and she shrugged her shoulders at me, making the dress she was wearing shimmer in the light. ‘Always the player, Dante.’
I could hear my sister Mia accusing me of the same, the day I’d reached out for Giovanna and had taken her hand in mine for the very first time.
Just agree, let her know she’s right and you’re a complete bastard… it’ll be less painful.
But I couldn’t, whatever else happened here tonight, even if it fucked me up for the rest of my life, I couldn’t make her think what had happened between us was a lie. Stepping forward, I reached out and took hold of the same hand I’d just made such a show of bestowing a kiss onto.
‘I’m telling the truth, Giovanna. I told you the truth in London. I tried to play the game I thought I needed, but it backfired.’ No longer able to help myself, I reached up with my other hand and trailed my forefinger down over her jawline, and hoped she could feel the truth in my touch.
‘If you did, why did you walk away? We’d taken our vows less than ten minutes before. Salvatore arrived like we assumed he would, and after I’d spoken to him you didn’t come back.’
‘I went nowhere.’ I shook my head at her. ‘It was you who changed your mind. I understood you were young. I even understood that perhaps we’d rushed into it, and you felt we made a mistake. But you could have told me face to face.’
‘I didn’t change my mind, it was you!’