Chapter 26
My heart feels like a stone sinking in the depths of an ocean, pulled down by the gravity of my love for Avalina and the iron chains of duty that bind me to my family. I’ve spent countless restless nights wrestling with my thoughts, torn between keeping the woman who haunts my dreams by my side, but also ensuring her safety. My conclusion is that I can’t do both.
The burnished glow of the setting sun drapes over Avalina”s shoulder-length hair, turning it into a cascade of molten copper. As we approach the restaurant, I feel the familiar prickling awareness—the sensation of unseen eyes tracing my movements with lethal precision.
”Mandolin” reads the brass sign hanging above the door, swinging gently in the evening breeze. It”s a popular spot, revered for its culinary excellence and romantic ambiance. Yet, beneath the veneer of sophistication lies a truth only I am privy to: this place is a puppet on Sean O”Neil”s malevolent strings.
”Kieran, this place looks incredible,” Avalina breathes out, her green eyes reflecting the warm light that spills from the windows onto the cobbled street.
I can”t help but study her face—the serene composure that makes her all the more alluring in her ignorance of the dark undercurrents swirling around us. She”s rediscovered herself since the accident, and I”ve been captivated by her rebirth, her passion for life that blooms like a rare flower in adversity”s soil. But she doesn”t remember the secret we once shared, or the danger that now shadows her steps.
”Trust me, it”s not half as incredible as you,” I murmur, ensuring every word drips with the truth of my desire. The iron knot of dread tightens in my stomach, knowing what I have to do tonight.
We”re seated at a secluded table, draped in white linen and adorned with a single crimson rose. The scent of garlic and red wine mingles in the air, teasing the senses, creating an illusion of normalcy that I am about to shatter.
”Kieran?” Avalina”s voice cuts through the din of clinking glasses and subdued conversations, pulling me back from the precipice of my brooding thoughts.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling the weight of my decision crush me with its finality. ”Avalina, there”s something I need to tell you.”
She leans forward, concern etching her delicate features, and I brace myself against the wave of emotion her proximity evokes.
Taking a breath, I force the damning words past my lips. ”Sean... he was behind your accident,” I confess, the words bitter on my tongue, acid to my pride that I can’t keep Avalina safe, then or now. Her eyes widen in shock, a silent question forming on her lips.
”It was meant for me,” I continue, forcing myself to maintain eye contact, to lay bare the ugliness that taints our reality. ”He wanted to get to me, and you... you were collateral damage.”
I ran my hands through my hair. “But I wasn’t in the car. The fact that you couldn”t remember our relationship seemed to satisfy Sean, since as far as I can tell, he hasn”t tried anything since.”
Turning towards her, I take Avalina”s hands in my own, staring into her emerald green eyes. ”But Lina, as long as you”re with me, you have a target on your head. I wouldn”t be able to live with myself if something happened to you.”
I watch the realization dawn in her eyes, the horror and disbelief that flickers across her face before settling into a heart-wrenching vulnerability.
”Because of that, we can”t be together,” I say, each syllable laced with the agony of renunciation. ”I won”t—I can”t—put you in danger again.”
The candlelight between us flickers, casting shadows that play upon her features, accentuating the soft curve of her cheeks and the gentle bow of her lips—lips I”ve yearned to taste since the moment she forgot me.
My hand trembles slightly as I toss a few crisp bills onto the table, more than enough to cover the untouched meal and the silence that”s settled between us like a thick fog. Avalina”s voice rises in a crescendo of desperation and disbelief, her words clawing at me, begging me to reconsider.
”But I don”t fear that, Kieran. You keep me safe.”
”Don”t you see?” I yell. ”I didn”t keep you safe. I almost got you killed!”
Shame slams into me, hot and hard, at the flinch that flashes across Avalina”s face. I bury my face in my hands, drowning in an ocean of guilt and sorrow that pierces my soul. Delicate hands curl around my own scared ones, pulling them down into my lap as determined eyes meet my own.
”You can”t control Sean, Kieran. The accident wasn”t your fault.”
I go to argue, but she cuts me off. ”No, I won”t let you take the blame.”
Hesitating, I cup her face. ”If anything happened to you...” I trail off, ice flooding my veins at the thought. ”Lina, I... my life ends when yours does. It”s as simple as that. I know you don”t want to hear it, but this has to be the end.”
”I don”t believe you.”
”I”m serious, Lina. I”ll do anything I have to if it means keeping you safe.”
”You”ve already decided, haven”t you? You”ve made your mind up and it doesn”t matter what I say.”
”Kieran, please—”
But my resolve is ironclad, reinforced by the knowledge of what could happen if I allow my heart to rule over my head. It’s a battle, every instinct screaming to pull her close, to shield her from the cruel world with my own body. But Sean”s shadows lurk in every corner, and I can”t—won”t—be the reason she falls prey to them again.
”Listen to me,” I interrupt, the edge in my voice cutting through her pleas. ”This isn”t up for discussion. It”s not safe.”
Her green eyes glisten, those emerald pools where I once found solace now reflecting only pain and confusion. Her lips part, but it”s her soul that seems to shatter, the soundless echo of her heart fracturing beneath the weight of my withdrawal. I watch silently as the tears gather in Avalina”s eyes, silently falling down her pale cheeks.
The knife that was currently slicing my heart into ribbons twists as I rise from the chair, the legs scraping against the floor with a harshness screech. The space between us becomes a chasm too perilous to cross. I turn my back on her sobs, each one a lash against the remnants of my composure, branding me with guilt and longing.
”Take care of yourself, Avalina,” I murmur, low enough that it”s carried away by the murmurs of the oblivious diners around us.
My steps are heavy, weighted by the burden of decisions made in the darkness—a darkness that clings to me, even as I step into the cool night air.
Behind me, Avalina”s grief fills the room, a haunting melody that threatens to drag me back. But I cannot falter; I cannot fall.
Avalina
Tears stream down my face unchecked, salt tracing the outline of my lips—a bitter reminder of the taste of Kieran”s kiss that I yearn for but may never experience again. The fabric of the plush chair feels alien under my fingertips, a stark contrast to the warmth of his touch that had promised so much more.
”Shh, Avie, let”s get you home,” Claire”s voice is soft, yet it cuts through the haze of my misery. She slides into the seat Kieran vacated, her presence a pale substitute for the man whose absence has hollowed out my chest.
“Claire? What are you doing here?” I ask between gasping breaths, trying to calm my racing heart, to stop the tears that keep flowing.
“Kieran called me.” Claire swallows, sighs. “He told me it was too dangerous for you two to be together, that he was going to end it and wanted me to make sure you got home okay.”
I nod mutely, unable to articulate the storm raging within. Claire wraps an arm around my shoulders, guiding me up and out of the booth. With each step, the remnants of my shattered poise crumble, leaving a trail of sorrow in our wake as we exit the restaurant.
The night air is a slap against my wet cheeks, and I shiver—not from the cold, but from the sudden exposure to a world that feels less familiar without him by my side. Claire”s car awaits us, a silent sentinel in the dimly lit parking lot.
”Come on, sweetheart,” Claire coaxes, her tone gentle. ”Let”s go home.”
But ”home” is just another word for a place where the echoes of Kieran”s goodbye will resonate through empty rooms and sleepless nights—an abode turned mausoleum for a love that was as intoxicating as it was forbidden.