Chapter 27
The sun peeks through my curtains, stirring me from restless sleep. An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of my stomach as memories of Kieran flash through my mind. His piercing umber eyes. The warmth of his embrace. The husky timbre of his voice whispering my name.
I reach for my phone, fingers trembling. Countless unanswered calls and messages left on read. I still can”t believe Kieran”s ignoring me. I wasn”t sure when he made his declaration that he was really letting go, but it had been days of no answer. We were so close just last week, bodies and souls intertwined in passion. Now there is only silence. A hollow ache fills my chest, squeezing the breath from my lungs.
I call him again, listening to the dull ring that signals his rejection. When his voicemail picks up, I can”t find the words. The line goes dead. My chest tightens, the ache of uncertainty spreading like ink through water.
Defeated, I curl into a ball under the covers, Kieran”s scent of whiskey and smoke clinging to my pillow. The memories come unbidden, a chaotic swirl of emotion. His hands roaming my body. Lips tasting every inch of bare skin.
A single tear escapes my eye, tracing a path along my cheek. As if it were a lifeline, I grasp onto the clarity it brings. The cold reality that love alone can”t dispel the shadows that exist in Kieran”s life.
The ache inside intensifies, threatening to consume me whole. I cling to the fading hope that Kieran will come back to me. That he will make everything right again.
Until then, I am adrift in a sea of sorrow, longing for the man who holds my heart. The man who is slipping further away with each passing day. The man I fear I may lose forever.
A knock sounds on my bedroom door and I look up to see Claire carrying a tray of tea and cookies.
“Morning, Avie,” she says, her voice low and soothing. She sets the tray down on the nightstand and sits on the edge of my bed. ”I thought you might need this.”
I can feel my face crumbling, and Claire envelops me in a warm hug. I melt into her embrace, the dam breaking once more, as tears stream down my face. Claire murmurs soothing words, stroking my hair until the sobs subside.
”Thanks,” I mutter, the word barely able to navigate the tightness in my throat. Claire picks up a steaming cup of tea and hands it to me. The warmth from the cup seeps into my palms, a stark contrast to the cold desolation gripping my heart.
”Drink up,” Claire encourages, her own blue eyes brimming with unshed tears for my pain. ”And maybe a hot shower will help?”
Nodding numbly, I sip the sweetened tea, the floral notes of lemon balm attempting to calm the storm raging inside me. The cookies are untouched; I have no appetite for anything other than the answers that evade me.
There”s a fluttering at the pit of my stomach when the doorbell rings. Iris. Her energy breezes in before she does, a tempest of concern and sisterly love. Yet behind the worry lines on her brow, there”s something else—a relief that doesn”t quite sit right with me.
”Hey, Avie,” Iris greets me, pulling me into a hug that”s a little too enthusiastic. ”You”re going to be okay, you know that? Better off, really.”
Her words sting, the implication clear. She never approved of Kieran, always saw him as a shadow lurking in my sunlit world. But she doesn”t understand the magnetic pull he has on me, the undeniable connection that lingers even now.
”Thanks, Iris,” I reply, my voice hollow. How can they see it as so black and white when my soul is painted in shades of him?
”Come on, Avalina, let the water wash away some of the hurt,” Claire suggests again, gently steering me toward the bathroom and away from my sister.
With each step, I feel the weight of their love trying to anchor me back to reality. But as the steam from the shower begins to rise, all I can think of is the last time Kieran and I were enveloped in mist together, our bodies entwined, lost in a dance of desire and whispered promises. Now, I”m left swaying alone, grappling with a melody that has been abruptly silenced.
The tendrils of steam fade into the air, taking with them the ghost of his touch that I can still feel lingering on my skin. Water droplets cling to me like the remnants of a dream I”m not ready to wake from. Wrapped in a towel, the fabric rough against my tender heart, I step back into my room, where reality awaits.
”Better?” Claire”s voice is soft, laced with concern as her eyes search mine for any sign of the girl she once knew.
I manage a nod, though it feels like lying. ”A little.”
”Come sit,” she coaxes, patting the spot beside her on the bed, and I obey, the heaviness in my limbs making each movement an effort. The bed dips under our weight, and she hands me a new mug of tea, the scent of chamomile rising in the air, a subtle invitation to calm.
”Talk to me, Ava.” Her hand finds mine, fingers gentle yet insistent.
”Every part of me just...aches, Claire.” My voice is a mere whisper, betraying the turmoil within. ”It”s like he”s still everywhere—his voice, his scent, the warmth of his skin...”
”Memories have a way of holding us hostage,” she says, and I wonder how she can possibly understand this searing pain that threatens to consume me.
”Will it ever stop hurting?”
Claire”s thumb strokes the back of my hand, a soothing rhythm that anchors me to the here and now. ”It will,” she assures me, her conviction a lifeline thrown into the turbulent sea of my sorrow. ”But you have to give yourself permission to let go first.”
”Letting go feels like losing him all over again,” I admit, the confession pulling at the stitches of my wounded soul.
”I know,” Claire sighs. ”Which is why you need to focus on yourself right now. Take time to heal and find your own happiness again.” Her lips curve into a soft smile. ”I bet you”ll feel better once you get back to work on Monday. Immerse yourself in books and let their stories inspire you.”
”Do you really think that will help?” I ask doubtfully.
”It”s worth a try,” Claire insists. ” Remember who you are, Avalina. Kieran was just a chapter in your story, not the whole book.”
Her words are meant to heal, but they slice through the fog of my longing with the sharpness of truth. ”What if I don”t know how to start the next chapter?”
”Then we”ll find it together.” Claire”s promise is fierce, an oath sworn by the steadfast heart of friendship. ”You”re not alone, Ava. You never have been.”