Chapter 27
As I awaited Theo’s return, I glanced at the passengers around me, taking in the smart elderly couple who sat to my right. The husband wore a shirt and tie under a black blazer and his wife, with her long grey poker-straight hair, had on a midi woollen polo neck dress.
The husband held up his phone to show his other half a weather app. ‘Looks like we might get some snow,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t expecting that.’
‘How tall do you think they’ll be now?’ the wife asked. She picked up her drink, her scarlet-red nail varnish standing out against the white ceramic cup. ‘It’s been six months since we visited and you know how fast children grow.’
I smiled. Neither seemed to care they were having two different conversations, and they reminded me of Mum and Dad.
A couple of twenty-somethings sat just ahead of me and listening to them, they sounded like me when I was their age.
‘I hope we’ve remembered everyone’s presents,’ the blonder of the two said. ‘It’ll be awful if someone’s left out.’
‘We’d have been all right if we’d packed before the pub,’ the brunette said. ‘Why we had to leave it until we were drunk, I don’t know.’
I chuckled to myself.
‘You’re the one who insisted on staying. We were only meant to have a couple of glasses and then leave.’
Recalling my youth, I couldn’t count the number of times my good intentions had gone by the alcohol wayside.
‘Which would’ve been the case if Jeremy from IT hadn’t been there.’ The brunette giggled. ‘You know I can’t resist a nerd.’
‘After work drinks are never a good idea. We’re lucky we didn’t miss the boat,’ the blonde said. She sighed. ‘Are you sure you don’t know what’s in your suitcase?’
‘I’m sure,’ the brunette replied. ‘Do you know what’s in yours?’
The blonde shook her head. ‘Haven’t a clue.’
Theo passed their table on his way back with our coffees, causing both young women to perk up. Their eyes followed his every step right up until the point he sat down and clocking the fact I was watching them, they hastily diverted their attention.
‘I’m surprised at how busy this ferry is,’ I said. ‘Who travels on Christmas Eve? It’s so last minute, why not just stay home?’
‘Maybe people had work commitments? Maybe some are going home?’
‘One thing’s for sure,’ I said. ‘I bet none of them are on the hunt for missing relatives.’
Theo laughed. ‘Probably not.’ He rested his forearms on the table. ‘How do you usually spend Christmas Eve?’
‘More often than I’d like, delivering presents.’
Theo’s smile grew.
I tilted my head. ‘Don’t tell me. You have everything bought and wrapped by June.’
‘Not quite. Sasha was the real organiser. Christmas would be only just over with, and she’d be hitting the sales for the following December.
’ Theo’s expression turned melancholic. ‘We were so different. She taught me a lot.’ Gathering himself, he nodded to my left ring finger. ‘Have you ever been married?’
‘Lord, no.’
Theo jerked his head. ‘That surprises me.’
I understood why. Most women my age had had at least one betrothal under their belt, in practice if not legally. ‘I’ve never met the right man.’
‘You’ve been in love though, surely?’
In my view, it was too early for deep and meaningful, and I wondered where Theo’s line of questioning had come from. Worse still, where it was going. I followed his gaze as he took in the people around us.
‘Don’t mind me.’ Theo drew his lips back. ‘Christmas always makes me reflect.’
Thanks to Mum’s disappearance, I’d been doing a bit of that myself. ‘There was a time when I thought I was. In love, I mean.’
‘What happened?’
I took a deep breath, not sure I wanted to really talk about a man I’d spent years trying to forget.
‘You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m just curious.’
‘His name was Andy.’ Telling myself I’d started so I may as well finish, I played with the handle on my cup.
‘I met him just before my thirtieth birthday at some property conference. We were both living and working in London at the time.’ I drank a mouthful of coffee.
‘He was quite the cliché. Tall, dark and handsome. Gorgeous with a capital G in fact.’
‘Was he now?’
‘We shared the same sense of humour, liked the same films, music, books blah, blah, blah. You know how it goes. Over time, what starts as flirty banter inevitably turns physical. Not that our relationship was just about great sex. We shared the same goals, both dreamed of building our own agency. We even talked about moving in together and maybe starting a family.’
‘Really?’
I nodded. ‘Andy made me want to be a better person. Our connection felt different. More profound even, if that makes sense?’
Theo nodded.
‘Until I realised none of it was real.’
‘I suppose we’ve all experienced the butterflies and wanting to spend every second of the day with someone,’ he said. ‘But it’s the calmness that settles alongside the passion that matters, don’t you think? When someone accepts you for you and vice versa.’
‘Listen to you, Mr relationship coach.’
‘I miss that deeper understanding.’ Theo tore at his napkin.
‘Is that what you and Sasha had?’
‘So deep, in fact, I had to let her go. Even though I knew it would kill me.’
‘You mean she just left?’ I asked.
He nodded. ‘Seeing her walk away was the hardest thing I ever did.’ He smiled but it was half-hearted. ‘Don’t get me wrong, it was difficult for her too. We had a good life. A good relationship. In many ways it would have been easier for Sasha to stay.’
‘But we all know the easiest decisions aren’t always the best.’
‘Exactly.’
‘So why aren’t you together?’
‘There was no third party involved or anything like that.’
‘But you obviously still care about her.’
Theo looked at me as if that went without saying. ‘Always. Why would I not have feelings for the mother of my son.’
‘And Jackson stayed with you?’
‘Joint custody. Fifty-fifty.’
‘Really?’ Considering Jackson now lived with his dad full-time, I was surprised to hear that. ‘So what changed?’
Theo picked up his drink and watching him, I realised I’d stepped into uncomfortable territory. Seeing his pained expression, I felt my cheeks redden and I wished I hadn’t asked.
I’d obviously been hanging around with Joyce too long and had picked up on her tendency to pry.
That woman was an expert when it came to gleaning people’s histories and I recalled how Alex hadn’t stood a chance when he’d first arrived at the Royal Oak.
In a single trip to the bar Joyce had managed to get his whole life story thanks to her finely honed interrogation technique.
‘Ignore me,’ I said. ‘Your living and custody arrangements are none of my business.’ I waved a dismissive hand. ‘I’m being far too nosey.’ My inquisitiveness got the better of me. ‘Unless you want to talk about them?’
Theo opened his mouth to speak but a voice on the Tannoy interrupted him.
‘Attention please,’ it said. ‘The ferry will be docking in approximately thirty minutes.’
Theo smiled. ‘Sounds like it’s time to get organised.’